Having healthy self-esteem helps you deal better with the ups and downs of life and how you deal with everybody in general. Your opinion on what you think about yourself should always come first before anyone else’s. But when you start seeing yourself and your life in a negative and more critical light, it might indicate signs of low self-esteem. The signs of low self-esteem can at times be mistaken for a character trait or humility, but there’s a clear difference.

Low self-esteem, if allowed to go on for a long period of time, can lead to harmful effects on your mental health. It’ll change your outlook on a lot of things – how you take on daily challenges, your association with people, and how much you want to try new things.

For the short term, low self-esteem can make you feel safe not taking on new challenges or difficult situations. When it drags long, however, it gives you a feeling of inferiority and keeps bringing your doubts and fears into everything you set your mind to do. This can lead into more serious issues like anxiety and depression. Low self-esteem can touch on different aspects, could be concerning your body, finances, job, and many other areas.

To overcome low-self esteem, you need to recognize the signs and then build self-confidence against your inner critic.

Signs Of Low Self-Esteem To Watch For
How often you ridicule yourself, point out your flaws, perceive yourself in the negative light dwindles your self-esteem to the minimum. These signs are what you should be aware of to help overcome low self-esteem.

1. Self-Negativity
When you see yourself only in the negative light – limiting your own capabilities and potentials at everything. This significantly tarnishes self-confidence and is the biggest downslide of self-esteem.

2. Internal Critical Dialogue
Also known as negative self-talk. This is when you talk harshly or never encourage yourself with your words. The sort of dialogue with one’s self that tarnishes your ability and confidence to make positive changes in your life.

3. Vulnerability
With you, there are no boundaries. Everyone can say anything and trample on your dignity and you’d still think them right. There are no limits to how you debase yourself and other people are also allowed to. This is another major sign of low self-esteem to look out for.

4. Inability to make choices
You never seem to make a choice or stand by one when you eventually do. This is as a result of self-doubt that accompanies low self-esteem.

5. Inability to prioritise one’s self, needs, and feelings
A person with low self-esteem has difficulty in speaking about his/her needs, feelings, and wants. There’s how people want to stand out and prove to others that they’re worth something and should be prioritized. With low self-esteem, this feat is impossible.

How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem
Overcoming low self-esteem has to do with building self-confidence and there are steps to take to achieve this.

1. Get Professional Help
Therapists are highly efficient and trained to help with things of the mind. Seeking therapy will help you identify the root of your low self-esteem and addressing it.

2. Know What You’re Good At
Before you can build self-confidence, you need to identify something you’re good at and use that to build your esteem. You can take one chore or ability you have, hone it and make stand out with it.

3. Talk Positively About Yourself
Change your negative self-talk into positive self-talk. Meditate, use positive affirmations and motivate yourself.

4. Challenge Yourself
Give yourself something new to try out. Don’t be afraid to take new challenges and discover new boundaries.

5. Prioritize Yourself
Make boundaries for yourself. Pick your circle carefully with people who will support you positively and not compare. This way you’d build control and be stronger mentally and emotionally towards anything.

Generally, professional help and advice from a therapist will help you better in capitalizing on your strengths and in building your way out of low self-esteem. So, seek professional help when you should and you could be avoiding serious mental health issues.

Source: https://andmeans.com/mind/signs-you-might-be-living-with-low-self-esteem/

Dating has always been a controversial topic among the men and women of Nigeria, particularly Lagos. The city of Lagos is a very busy place and a lot of info can get trapped in the undercurrent. Most of the women think the men don’t care very much for their feelings. Whereas many men think women are too high-maintenance. This has caused a torrent of confusion on whether to date a Lagos woman or not, and if yes, how?

As a man myself, with many feelings, I hereby debunk the notion that men don’t care very much about women’s feelings – for myself at least. Though, can we really say that these babes are too extra? Given what they face on a daily basis both inside and outside their bodies, I’d say that’s a pretty drastic conclusion. There are actually many chill women out there, you just have to meet them in the middle (not that middle).

I had quite a few convictions about writing this article. For one, I didn’t want to come off as pretentious or mansplaining. So I took this question and threw it at the subjects themselves, women. I must say, the results were astounding as I got quite a lot of feedback. I couldn’t possibly have included it all in big detail so I made a list based on what I learnt. Here’s a streamlined version of what the women of Lagos had to say on how to date them:

1. The Talking Phase
There is no universal formula for women, know this and know peace. Before any date is made, you should try to find out what she likes and vice-versa. Text her friends, ask her even. If she likes flowers, try to buy them. Did she once mention not liking crusty pizza? Make sure not to order that variant. The ‘talking phase‘ is not something you should joke with. It’s the part that tells her how much attention you pay to detail, so pay attention.

2. The First Date
This is arguably the most crucial aspect of the whole relationship according to Lagos women. When going out with her for the first time, it is important that you take your A-game. Women, in general, are quite susceptible to first impressions. After the first trial, convincing them otherwise could prove tedious. The first date is your trump card, it’s your opportunity to fascinate your Lagos woman.

Dress casually, groom yourself, let her know how beautiful she is and what you’re passionate about. Make sure to express yourself when you can but not so much that you come off as a bad listener. She’ll want to get to know you here, you should reciprocate the sentiment.

3. The Bases
Gotta love those bases! A lot of men expect sex as a given after the first date, or second. The truth is way more complex than that. Some women reported going as far as the sixth date without doing the deed. One Lagos woman in particular even mentioned that it all depends on how much she has connected with the guy, which could be the first or hundredth date. In whatever you do, know that vibe is important. You should also know and understand that it’s her body and she’ll give it to you when comfortable. So, dear king, don’t spend your money on her if you think she’ll owe you sex for it.

4. Romance and Beyond
So, you made it past all the other phases. She turns out being more amazing than you ever imagined. The times are good, the sex is better but you sometimes feel hassled. Maybe she’s told you a few times that you go out with your friends too much or that you don’t listen. Yeah, these may all sound unfounded to you, like she’s trying to ‘privatise’ you. She shouldn’t expect you to just throw your life away for her, should she? To be very honest, these concerns are anything but petty. Listen to her and try to understand where she’s coming from.

Women have a lingering insecurity that they may be giving more than they’re getting. Why do you think she’s always there when you need her yet never seems satisfied. Relationships are all about compromise, so try to put yourself in her shoes and imagine how she’d feel.

5. Privacy and Secrecy
Every point on this list is important but this is one of the low-key ones. Lagos women had quite a lot to say on this issue, “They’re either too apathetic or too clingy.” said one. These ladies made a show of how much they dislike the extremes, so learn to strike a balance. Tell her about your day, and about work – how you’re feeling – she wants to know. If there are things you don’t understand, ask her, she’ll appreciate your effort. Flaunt her when you can, no woman wants an undercover lover.

As I said before, these women don’t come with a ‘how to’ manual. Always remember, communication is key. Nobody is asking you to be on call 24/7, you’re not a babysitter. Just give her the time and attention she deserves and you’ll be alright.

Source: https://andmeans.com/love/how-to-date-a-lagos-woman/

For a start, all African countries

A larger portion of the world’s population would agree or relate with talks concerning a reroute in career path. Many of us are working with something entirely different from what we set our minds to from the onset – some might say they don’t differ so much, but a shovel and a spade still aren’t the same.

In that light, I am bringing to you stories in the form of interviews from young and brilliant minds who have made a name for themselves in another career path than what they set out with.

Today, our first career-person is a young man who studied Political Science from the prestigious University Of Lagos, and realized on graduating that maybe the route to his Lifelong goals isn’t directly through Political Science?

Let’s meet Joel Moses Babatunde.

Q: Hello, Sir. May we meet you?

A: My name is Joel Moses Babatunde. I like to be called by my full name or just say JMB to save you the stress. But for clarity, my first name is Moses.

Q: Okay, JMB. Do you have political aspirations? Your name and how you’ll like to be called sounds like someone willing to hold office.

JMB: My blueprint has always been Impact, Business and Politics. I wish to lead someday, but we will follow the thread of that blueprint. So, yes, I have a political aspiration but not now.

Q: Give us a little background on yourself. Where are you from? Where were you born and where did you grow up?

JMB: First and foremost, I believe I am one of the very few people that do not like to be limited by ethnic affiliations. So, I always introduce myself first, as a Nigerian; because of the very interesting background I have. My father is a Yoruba man from Kwara State while my mother is an Igbo woman from Enugu State. I was born and bred in Kaduna where I lived for over 20 years. School (Tertiary education) brought me to Lagos. So, I am WaZoBian.

Q: Original. So, 20 years in Kaduna. I’m assuming you gained admission into Tertiary Institution when you were 20?

JMB: Yes. But I started school at age 21. University of Lagos.

Q: I’ll think, many others will too, that at age 21, you should have been done with school already. I’m assuming there’s a story to that. So I’ll ask, what was it you wanted to study and why did you start school at that age?

JMB: I had to write UTME three times. I graduated secondary school at the age of 17 but took a year to fully prepare myself for my first UTME. The first and second UTME’s yielded nothing positive, but I gained admission on the third one. In all the years I took UTME, I always picked Political Science as my course of choice.

Q: I can relate. So it has always been Political Science from inception?

JMB: Yes, I was always picking Political Science, because that was my choice. But if I had known earlier that there was a course like Human Resource Management (HRM), I would have opted for that instead. However, I don’t regret studying Political Science.

Q: You don’t regret studying political science, but you would have opted for Human Resource Management (HRM) if you knew.
What changed? When did you realize you could have thrived better at Human Resource Management?

JMB: With the way things are in Nigeria, professionals in the field of politics most times do not make leadership positions. At best, you find them as advisers or technocrats. I studied political science so I could address the arm or approach of leadership I would like to come from. But getting to that through political science will take time, resources and sweat. You also need a strong economical background to make a name for yourself in politics. Seeing I didn’t have the resources for that yet, coupled with my essential needs I had to cater, I opted for HRM as it was more lucrative and could still help me achieve my goals. I don’t regret studying Political science, but HRM is my stronger forte and I’ve decided to follow it with all my heart.

Q: When did you realize Political Science might not cater to your essential needs in the short run?

JMB: Immediately I graduated in 2017. I don’t think any of my classmates are doing any core political science job. It’s a beautiful course to study but it’s not lucrative. Most people from political science are working as sales/marketing executives, HRMs and many other things that are not core Political Science.

Q: Sad. What was your first job after graduating?

JMB: I started working from school. Worked with a Political party (Youth Party). Served as Engagement Strategist and also Executive Assistant to the boss of the party who doubled as CEO of Probitas and Partners. My first job after leaving school was with AXA Mansard Insurance PLC. As a Sales Executive.

Q:How much were you earning as a sales Executive? If you don’t want to be specific, give us a range.

JMB: There’s nothing to hide. I was earning ₦35,000.

Q: Oh wow!

JMB: so sad!

Q: Lift my hopes, how has that pay changed from then to now?

JMB: I left AXA Mansard while I was still serving. Went to another company where I was earning 140,000 naira. I don’t want to tell you how much I’m earning now so let’s leave it at that. I’ve lifted your hopes certainly.

Q:What do you do now? Job and side hustles?

JMB: I am just doing my bits. I work with MOD Group (Westerfield College, an International Education Firm. I also have an HR Consulting firm I own, it’s called Dear HR Consulting. I am passionate about Farming so I do one or two mini Agro projects here and there. I consult for UNOCASA Limited for Learning and Development/Recruitment & Business Development. It’s an HR Consulting Firm. Alongside other side hustles.

Q: Sinzu or Spending?

JMB: I am just JMB. Let my helpers not pass me by.

Q: What impact do you want to have on the world? What do you want people to remember you for?

JMB: Well, this can never be summarized. But I’ll say, concerning impact, when people come to me and ask me how do I define my purpose in life, I always ask them two questions. The first is if the whole world paused for thirty seconds, what is that one thing you want the world to hear? The second is, what exactly can you do or speak about without preparation? For me, it’s my passion to teach people – alternate education. I’m a life coach before I’m a Businessman and Politician (Leader). And that’s how I want to impact the world, teach the world through Human Resources. As far as being remembered is concerned, I want to be remembered for making or creating the pathway for Nigeria to get better. I want to be that African Leader that redirected the steps of his continent. I want to put Africa (Nigeria) on the map of the world and cause people to respect her. I won’t be happy if I die without doing anything to move Nigeria from where it is to another point. And it’s not about politics, it’s about Human Resource/Education, You can see how everything is connected for me.

Q: You don’t see yourself “janding” permanently?

JMB: Never! Nigeria is my home. I was created to make Nigeria a better place for my unborn generation and that is what I will do. Albeit, I like to travel the world, I like to live in other places for a while, garner experience of their culture, but I can never leave Nigeria permanently.

Q: Well, you’ll be the first in a while to tell me that. What’s your advice to younger people in the aspect of Career?

JMB: Do what makes you happy. Pick a Career that is in tandem with your strength, that’s the only way you’ll not see work as work. Lots of people think of their jobs in the morning and they sigh, they feel sad going to their places of work. That’s because it’s a thorn in their flesh, so, do what makes you happy. It’s also never too late when you’re done with your BSc. Your Masters or Professional courses are more or less like a second chance to you when you’re building a career. I have a Masters in view for Industrial Relations and Personnel Management (IRPM) and also in view are Professional courses in Chartered Institute of Personnel Management (CIPM). These are practical ways I’m retracing my steps. So, chase a Masters in your passion and not what you studied in your BSc. unless that’s your passion too. The journey to success is like a car on the road, the car in front of you is not necessarily the first car or the car that will surely get to its destination. All you should focus on is your own destination, make sure you get there. And head in the right direction, because what is the essence of speed on the wrong route? If you’re supposed to be going North and you’re going south at top speed, what’s its essence? Go slowly in the right direction, the direction that makes you happy, and you’ll surely get there.

Q: That’s a piece of advice worth holding on to. For people that want to reach you on social platforms, please let them know your social handles.

JMB:
LinkedIn – Moses Joel
twitter: @MeetJMB
IG: joelmozeez
FB: Joel Moses Babatunde


Source: https://andmeans.com/career/career-crossover-joel-moses-babatunde/

Hello Abdul4trust1
I can imagine how hard this might seem to you but don't be too disturbed.
I watched this video on youtube and also read this blogpost while trying to open my own blog.