₦airaland Forum

pickabeau1:
Instead of writing articles telling men about the need for emotional growth why not write articles telling people like ou who are not grown up and are unexposed to boot?

You see, the problem was with you all along

You based on your beliefs on what you read and not what you experienced

You see, I was woman enough to state my own shortcomings and how I outgrew them to now have a more positive outlook on men and marriage. I said all that to now show that this article further solidifies my belief in a happy matrimonial home and also how that stems from a good man.

For you to only read my comment and not just pick out the negative, but fixate on it and also try to underhandedly insult me shows that you are not ready. I've made up my mind on how positively I now want to view the world, which I believe is the correct way, but you seem really bitter about that. Suit yourself

MarvellousGod:
How do you expect to find a 'good' woman with this mindset??

Besides, as described above marriage is partnership, the woman alone doesn't have to be good, you have to be good tooo!!!

Please help me tell him

You attract what you are. People cannot expect to find a great woman without first trying to be a great man for that woman. That's one of the main themes to this article.

CircleOfWilis:
Wow, **motivated**I shall marry next year by God Grace

Yomieluv:
Woah,I love this..
This is a motivator to move me doing it right this year..
Marital life,here I come.

I commend you guys, you like better tins *hi five*

Danhumprey:
Such women described in the article are angels on Earth.


Unfortunately,they are rare and difficult to find.

Most women these days are terrible pain in the neck!

Please my dear, stop thinking like that. You will continue to attract such if that's the energy you put out into the universe. Reflect on the words written by this man and begin to walk and live in such a manner, trust me, you will start attracting a whole other batch of women and you'll find yourself spoilt for choice.

Mods, I do believe more men can benefit from this by placing it on front page, abi

I used to believe that most men had such an immature understanding of the true nature of a marital bond, given the way the media portrays men as whorish and with tunnel vision for making money and little room for much else. Of course, as I grew up and became more exposed to my male peers, I realised how superficial such an opinion was. The interview below was taken by a black American journalist perfectly tells the gains he has made in life brought on by the benefit of being married, which I find beautiful. I also hope that any guy out there reading this who needs to grow emotionally and change their view on marriage is touched in the spirit. I'd like to know your thoughts.

"What the hell was I thinking? I was 31, single, making good money and living in Atlanta, a city that's been described as "happy hunting" for a single guy. I was living the life my grandfather told me to live when I was a small child: "Why get married and try to make one woman happy ... when you can stay single and make them all happy?" Granddad would have been proud.

Lately, though, I've been trying to make one woman happy. One woman. Since 2010, I've woken up to, eaten my meals with, vacationed with, had sex with, done everything with the same one woman.

As my four-year anniversary approached, I started ruminating about my relationship and wondering how we'd made it this far. Of course, four years of marriage isn't a long time, yet some don't even make it to this point, including many of my close friends. And, I'll admit to my own moments of self-doubt about how I'd handle commitment right after the glorious height of my singledom. We hadn’t had any catastrophic issues come up in our marriage, but we had dealt with living in separate cities, career changes, the birth of our daughter, relocation, as well as some other marital challenges that are par for the course.

Thing is, not only is my marriage still intact, it's actually working pretty well, and that made me uncomfortable. You see, I didn't fully understand why my marriage was flourishing, and I feared that if I didn't understand what we were doing right, how would we know what to keep doing?

Well, I think I've figured it out, and my eureka moment came just this week as I was putting together a business email. I asked my wife to review it, and she thought the tone of the email was too aggressive, confrontational and negative. She was right. Her input stopped me from making the mistake of hitting send. That innocuous example is emblematic of our entire relationship. In all I do, I have a partner looking out for me, advising me, keeping me on track and stopping me from making a mistake, no matter how great or small.

Also, I'm still the same guy at my core, but look at what has changed in my life since I got married: My family and I are closer, my individual net worth has gone up every year since we met, I've learned a second language, I'm healthier, I use the n-word less, I listen to Sunday church service more, I'm a better friend, I'm more forgiving than I used to be, I'm more involved in charitable work.

In every way, I'm better off because I'm married. So, for me, a successful marriage has revolved around this principle: I like who I am with her.

My pastor always reminds me: You should get around people who make you say to yourself, "I gotta do better." I married the person who makes me say that to myself everyday. I want her to be proud of me. Her presence is constant motivation. I don't always succeed, but I'm always at least trying to do the right thing or improve, and in doing so, I've become a better son, friend, journalist, citizen and husband.

I, like many other men, thought that I wanted to reach a certain level of success before marriage. You know, make the right amount of money, get the right job, the right car, the right crib, etc., and perhaps "sow the royal oats." Now, I firmly believe the success we seek can come a lot quicker with a partner helping along the way. Believe me, my ego is as big as anyone's, but recognizing my own deficiencies, admitting to myself that I need help and accepting that help have all been critical to our success. We're only on year No. 4, but I shudder to think of the kind of man I might be if I wasn't married these past four years.

To put it another way, she upgraded me. It's not just a matter of "switching my neckties to purple labels," but Beyoncé may have been exactly right that "your dynasty ain't complete without a chief like" Marilee.

http://theybf.com/2015/03/02/news-anchor-tj-holmes-celebrates-his-5th-wedding-anniversary-reveals-why-he-got-married

I doubt his life is at risk...

But what's really good with the Chatham House talk? Aren't there any transcripts or recordings?

Culled from a Buzzfeed article that I was surprised to see there...

Nigeria is gearing up for a tight presidential poll in four weeks’ time. But opposition candidate Muhammadu Buhari has been in London for the past week and he won’t say much about why.

Nigeria, Africa’s most populous country and biggest economy, faces its tightest presidential race ever on March 28. In one corner, there’s the incumbent Goodluck Jonathan, under fire for graft scandals and for failing to quell the Islamist insurgent group Boko Haram.
In the other, there’s Buhari, an ascetic former military dictator who ruled Nigeria in 1983-5, a stint best known for a crackdown on corruption and rule-breaking dubbed the “War Against Indiscipline.” He has since run unsuccessfully for president three times.

Buhari’s campaign team says he has met two former British prime ministers, Tony Blair and Gordon Brown, while in town. But they won’t say what was discussed at the meetings, nor what other meetings he had during over one week in London.

Blair’s office confirmed to BuzzFeed News he had a private meeting with Buhari in London on Feb. 21, but declined to comment further. Brown’s office did not respond to repeated requests for confirmation.
Buhari has not used any foreign public relations or political consulting firms to set up this trip, Lai Mohammed, the spokesperson for Buhari’s All Progressives Congress (APC) party, told BuzzFeed News. The U.S. political consulting firm founded by former Obama message guru David Axelrod has done stints working for the APC as recently as December.
Both Axelrod and the firm also currently work for the U.K.’s opposition Labour party, which Blair and Brown both belonged to when they were prime minister.

Buhari’s campaign team has given slightly different reasons for the trip at different times. At first, they presented it as a working visit to schmooze with “global institutions.”

However, later in the week, Buhari himself and the same campaign team official said the trip was primarily a private holiday to get a rest from campaigning in Nigeria, with a few official engagements thrown in.
“I have to come away from Nigeria to get some relative peace. That is what brought me here,” Buhari told reporters on Thursday, after giving a speech at the London think-tank Chatham House. He pointed to the sudden six-week delay to Nigeria’s election as giving him time to take a break.

The challenge to that long rein has helped lead to the increasingly intense and ragged mud-slinging between the two political camps. This might even account for the furtive nature of Buhari’s trip.
“The politics in Nigeria is getting very dirty. So many people are keeping this [trip] close to their chest,” said Bimbo Roberts Folayan, the chairman of the Central Association of Nigerians in the UK, who added that his association would normally be kept in the loop if a presidential candidate was in town.

On another note, has anyone got any links to Buhari's talk in Chatham House? I am curious to hear what he was yarning, who knows, I may learn something about his manifesto...

http://www.buzzfeed.com/shyamanthaasokan/nigerias-opposition-candidate-is-hanging-out-in-london-and-i#.qkgk27vR4

shaboti:
These yoruba dogs have started shouting igbo igbo again. So if psquare and flavour are richer than dbanj and badoo na igbo cause am abi?

Thunder fire una dirty mouths

I do not like tribalism in any shape or form towards ANY tribe but I am sick and tired of this nonsense trend I have noticed on NL. I am here reading this post thinking about how ridiculous these numbers are like everyone else, then some random e-diot types rubbish about Igbos!! How can?! It shows the level of tribalistic and errant venom rushing through their veins that this is what they think about in even the most RANDOM article!! If aything, it highlights a deeper inferiority complex within those commenters.

What upsets me the most it that the mods are slowest in removing these tribalistic comments aimed at Igbos.

MiCarino:
Absolute rubbish...the blogger that composed this list must have been smoking a big pile of shiit...

I don't even want to start writing things here, it'll be a complete waste of time and energy.

Yemi Alade, Chidinma, Phyno, Patoranking, Flavour? infact 80% the artists on that list are not worth quarter of the ridiculous figures quoted up there. And who says the number of youtube views you have translate into net worth?

And even ranking don jazzy, and most ridiculously Flavour's worth above d'banj is just preposterous. I also smell a whole bunch of ethnic bias in this stupid write up, the writer is obviously Ibo.

And you're obviously Yoruba.

My first ever topic to create in 5 years of lurking on Nairaland but I need urgent help from you, my good people.

If you happen to have a spare (extra) user licence hanging around, please, could you send me the product key? I have tried to purchase it from the Microsoft store online for the past few days and IT JUST WON'T WORK

I know you awesome people can help a sister out

Tenks

kilokeys: wow i am honored to have u quote me.. 14th comment since 2010.. wow

Clown.

kilokeys: u barely see girls on this thread..

sawdust in their skull, most of them..

Yet we stay on your mind, clearly. What has the number of girls comme... you know what, forget you sef.

Anyway, @OP, it seems like you came to have Nairaland do a homework assignment for you. Well played, sir. Well played

Lamour1: Apparently, he raised good points but i still see those solutions as something we must all come together to achieve irrespective of tribe, party affiliation etc.

Northerners has to go back to drawing board and sort out so many issues. Many Yorubas and igbos and other tribes engage themselves in one handwork or the other in other to make ends meet thats if their parents are not buoyant enough to send them to school.
But up North, the reverse is the case. A gateman that makes 10k in one month ends up having four wives with minimum of 20 children with many of them as Almajiris.
I still believe that these boko boys are products of almajiri system. North should find a way to abolish that system but of course their political class use their acclaimed population for political purposes. Now the population of untrained children with not home training and lack of respect for elders has ended up hurting and hunting the north.
North is hunting and hurting the North period.

Not to sound ignorant, but what is an almariji? Every day is a chance to learn something new

haryomikun: Hehe. No p jare. All I wanna is know is are Ɣơ̴͡u̶̲̥̅̊ Black american?

I swear! Only black Americans have such a skewed world view

Rikidony: WTF


Since 2010 only 10 comment u wucked

And so? A post has to be particularly compelling to bring me out of lurk mode. Yours was particularly crass, I love my Naija guys above any and all other men because they act and think above most other men. So do not try and behave/speak like those ignorant yankee dudes. Look at the miserable way they are living over there, why try and copy that? Abeg speak well

Rikidony: #team hourglass
thats the sort of bitches Niggas like me chilled out with

Why are you so crass?

ayusco85: did u compiled this list from studying ur relationship with ur wife or u took a case study of different peoples relationships? people just wake up one morning and start writing rubbish list.


Last bullet: Thou shall not live by lists seen on nairaland these days, else u will miss it. just be with someone u can be real with, not someone u ve to change who u are. I DONT BELIEVE IN ANY YEYE LIST. what works for you might not work for anoda

You're a wise man

pxjosh: must u quote the whole article?!?

As in! And on top of that matter they now read the title of the thread and wanted to derail it with ebola matter. Kai! There's no etiquette with this one at all

Curlieweed: 2019 will be interesting.

Let's first see what the excitement of 2015 will behold first

Guykhena: Next week Colombia vs Brazil = a must watch

I will be there. Front row, centre. Columbia are doing the damn thing

Brazil is really making the Chilean goalkeeper earn his salary wella

Guykhena: Columbia all the way (my bet must sure)..
And since Dracula(suarez) is out,uruguay have no chance.....

Dracula

Benedict44: hahaha. i see brazil robbing this match again. what is howard webb doing there. Aler ferguson refree. always the worst ref . well brazil 2 chile 3 .hit LIKE if you think that brazil will use webb to rob this match.

Even though I agree with this I will not "hit like". Don't tell me what to do

Fulaman198: It might be Nigeria 3 - France 2.

Nigerian goals seem to increment by one with each match.

Ah! So I'm not the only one that noticed this

[modified due to change in circumstance lol]