frozen70:


That's a goid start

Sit her down on a hook a good day, tell her your observations and tell her how you are ready to assist her in improving her intelligence

Let her know how much you care for her and if she looses you, she will not know it until she finds it difficult getting some one like you

Start by throwing challenges on her and be serious about it

If you are serious she will be committed

When you need someone to do some things for you send her with stern warning and check her out on return

Give her task to perform, the one that involves mental thinking

These are the things she may face in future but you are building her for it

Thank you very much

,

Tloc:


I would give you my very candid advise, if you settle with a partner who is not as cerebral as you are or close then be ready for a boring LIFE. You would always avoid coming back home prefering companionship from outside, go with a partner that excites your sensibilities and evokes your penchant for new things.

Thank you very much for this.

frozen70:


Intelligency runs in some family and others gets their own intelligent through self efforts with experience

What does she do for now

Is she ready to take corrections or arguments on everything

You see, an intelligent woman is far more preferable than a man

This is my reasons

She is the home front of the family

Most times, father's are not at home, but she will be there as a father and a mother to the children

No matter how much a man makes, if your wife is not intelligent to manage resources, you will have a financial leakage at home

The children stays more with their mother than their fathers, if she us not intelligent, she won't be able to cope where they need her assistance in home work and other aspects of learning

Marrying an intelligent woman, makes the home front easier for you, no matter if you are their or not

If a woman is intelligent, she thinks far and plans for the future

I won't tell you to leave her but the brain work load will be more on you

She's ready to take corrections. What techniques can i use? She's good in every other aspect.

Ytea:
Op I'm sorry to say, but you speak of her with contempt, if there was ever love between you, I think it's lost now.
I agree with you that it gives one joy when one's partner speaks in public and they're are proud and able to say "yes that's my babe".
She may have gotten into nursing school coz she's good at arithmetic.
Op, in your sight, you've helped her enough and she's not yielding positive, you sound fed up. If you could, let her go, because you won't ever be proud of her, no matter how much you/her tries.

I truly love her but I don't know what to do again.

lalasticlala
Front page please

Ytea:
You av a problem with her grammar too, it's becoming clearer now.
You brought your business to a public forum, don't say you can't be saying everything. Do well to say everything, to get possible solutions to the challenges.

Yes her grammer is wack even her spellings, i got her books on that but she's not reading any of it. Sometimes, i use to ask myself how she gained admission into school of nursing.

foreverdiamonds:
So if a lady can't bring up topics for discussion or sustain a whatsapp chat after saying hello or hi she is unintelligent?

I know what am saying sir. Its more than that

bukatyne:


Thanks for the response.

You have a lot of work to do if you are convinced that she is your wife. (hardest part)

It is also good news because she is willing to learn.

I don't know how you meet however, have a 3-month engagement plan. Have a list of topics across all fields you can engage on. For instance, you are meeting with her tomorrow. After the pleasantries, have a random topic for discussion.
1. What does she think about wives 'respecting' pastors more than their husbands?
2. Why did she pick her course?
3. What is her dream job?
4. Where would she like to settle in and why?
5. What does she think about how Govt handled Funke Akindele's case?
6. What does she think about the conspiracy that 5G network caused COVID-19?
7. What is a feminine woman?
8. What does she think about traditional roles in the family?
9. What does she think of the phrase 'customer is king?'
10. What does she think about the current brain drain in the economy?
11. What does she think about the US inviting doctors all over the world to help them with corona?
12. What does she think about the practice of religion viz a viz the Bible times?
13. What ways does she think children can be engaged apart from putting them infront of the TV?

What are her hobbies? If for instance she says movies, can you both watch a movie and she dissects? If books, can she read and summarize for you? If cooking, can she cook and explain what ingredients she blends to get a certain flavour? Can she tell you her favorite meal and the ways she plays around cooking them? Can she cook one way per time and you both judge your favorite?

What I listed above are just different lines of conversation you can have.

Try to get her to spill what is in her head.

After that we discuss.

Just mention me.

I really appreciate this má but what if i tell you that she can only answer question 1-5, you see the rest questions she doesn't know about them. She can't construct a simple sentence in English language , Tenses, spellings let me mention few. I can't be saying everything here because this is a public forum. If you see our chats you will pity me. I'm thinking of breaking up with her

.

bukatyne:


At your first quote, I went through your profile.

I have asked some questions on that thread.

I've answered your questions

bukatyne:


How old are you? How old is she?

What is her family setting like? Who are her friends?

What is her vision for a family? What kind of family do you want?

I'm 24 while she's 23
Her dad died at a tender which makes only her mom raise them (5 of them 2males and 3females) singlehandedly.

She doesn't keep friends (she's an introvert)
Her vision for a family? I don't have an answer for that because any time we talk about this she always reply like someone with low IQ (She doesn't know what she want).

bukatyne:


She should my threads, she will be fine.

If she has any questions, she can quote and ask me with a new moniker or her current one.

I don't do outside engagements, sorry

I' ve gone through your previous threads and my reason for referring her to you is quite different. I once create a thread about her and i still need solutions to her predicament. If you're chanced can you please go through it?

bukatyne:
Good evening my people, how quarantine?

This thread is primarily for young ladies in their late teens to early twenties who are in serious relationships.

Disclaimer:
1. This thread is suited for ladies who want to date/sleep with as little men as possible before marriage. If you are in a relationship for a 'good' or 'fun' time, you don't need this thread as you will naturally gravitate towards men/boys who can provide the 'excitement.'

2. This thread is not claiming that serious minded guys/men are not 'exciting.' They can and do provide excitement in their own way.

3. I am a firm believer of young girls finding a young husband material as quickly as possible. I call it investing your youth in a husband material. I am not a fan of huge age gaps; I rather the young catch the young. . Bar exceptions, I not think building a career and a relationship/marriage cannot go hand in hand.

To the thread proper:

I see a number of young ladies call a serious young man 'boring' because he is not into the fast life. He is more grounded, focused on things that betters the future of you too such as education, mental capacity, emotional development etc. He is that guy that would invite you for a career fair or marriage seminar. He doesn't care about the 'get together' happening in the house of the Yahoo guy that just hammered nor is he interested in clubbing everyday.

He is not seeking for a girl he just wants to sleep with; he has seen you as a wife material he wants to groom to be the best version of yourself. He is the guy that would rather help you with your coursework.

He is seen as boring because he is principled and expects same from you. He is not going to give you drama and would not expect drama from you either. Cheating, collecting contacts from guys, double-dating, hanging out with questionable friends, claiming bestie with guys etc. He expects loyalty and faithfulness. He is not a 'I am just passing or marking my own' guy so he needs you really invested in the relationship. This characteristic of principle is sometimes mistaken for 'strictness' or 'rigidity.'

He would most likely not be the fun seeking type. This doesn't mean you both cannot create the type of entertainment suited to you. He might suggest going for a book fair or GT Bank Food Fair over visiting the new club opening. If you want to dance, get music and dance together. His priorities would also be different; he would pick an future enhancing activity over fluff if he has to choose.

And nope, he is not going to accept the version of yourself you bring to the table just like that. He will encourage and require you to finetune it. He might point out some stuffs about you he doesn't like; your dressing, makeup, hair do, carriage, attitude to classes, interests,friends etc. He is not the anything goes guy because he is invested in your future and naturally wants to protect his interests.

He would be protective of you so don't be surprised if he doesn't want you mixing with a particular crowd or wearing certain clothes or conducting yourself in a certain way. He is not trying to stifle you or keep you from enjoying life; he just wants his woman to be the best version of herself for him.

Hmmmmmmm, sex; he might have enough self-control to abstain, he might not. If it happens, the sex is going to be with care. Even if he wants to be a ruff rider, it would still be with the consciousness that this is my baby till the end. The way you use aso ebi for one time is different from the way you use lace kept at the bottom of the box.


Jara:
Any man who is fine with everything you do or doesn't have a contrary opinion is either with you for the short term therefore not willing to invest in you OR pretending and waiting till after marriage to show his true colours.

Hence the popular 'men change in marriage'.

I hope this would be very useful to a baby girl about to 'end' that relationship because the bobo is boring or 'not a happening guy.'

Please i want to refer my girlfriend to you. How can she contact you.

mickeyenglish:


[b]OP, i understand you perfectly more than you think.. Trust me, I do.. I was in your position in January,when i started to date this my fellow Corp member and we were both in the same school/PPA.

Again, she also possess all these "sweet qualities" that's akin to "wife material" and, it really hurts you to know that you've fallen in love with such a person..

Like yours,mine is also not of same religion with me.. While being a Christian(but really a Skeptic/Agnostic), she on the other hand is a Moslem. Mine doesn't even know how to prepare the Yorùbá traditional meals like our ever famous Àmàlà, semo, etc.. Eba is the only solid food she knows how to eat and prepare and you wonder what her Mother being an housewife to an Imam, has been upto in terms of kitchen tutorials.. Guess what? She's not even ready to learn how to even when i volunteered to teach her myself and get all necessary items with my own money.

Again, mine is very mentally lazy that sometimes, i wonder how she graduated from Yabatech with her HND.. I became scared when she was even unable to give me a brief synopsis about her course of study in school which was Microbiology. I even got enraged when she told me that she gave her project to a mercenary to write for her. Is that the kind of mother you want for you offsprings?

Furthermore, mine doesn't want to learn anything. Several a time, i had tried to spark an entrepreneurial plug in her heart and mind but, it always ended in tears.. I personally volunteered to foot the bills for any profession she'd really want to learn.. I even went to some of my female friends who were fashion designers, fashion and beauty bloggers, buying and selling, forex, farming, etc, and they all agreed to take her free of charge but, she turned the whole idea down.. Okay ooh, what do you want to learn, she'd say "i don't know" or "I'd think about it"..

Now, yours might still be young but, mine is 26yrs of age and I'm just a year older than her. For a girl of this age, who doesn't want to learn anything or become anything other than a loving wife to a loving husband. Eventually she'd become a leech and liability to the young hustling soul in this very brutal capitalist society.

Here's the trick no one will ever tell you ; nature is a badass! When nature knows you're deficient in most aspect expected of a creature, she(permit to refer to nature as she) quickly arms the weak creature with dummy/smokescreen attributes in other to makeup for all the lost attributes your girlfriend never had and will never have(emphasis on the WILL NEVER).

I also faced this scenario and decided to combat it by all means hence, my resolve to go on an all-out war on my Girlfriend's intellectual deficiencies but guess what? It all ended in tears... The more i tried to emancipate her, the more her ignorance fought back, and it fought hard and why did this happen? Mature knows there's nothing to emancipate.. Out of frustration, i broke up with her and made my reasons known to her but, made-up again later on after 3 weeks, hoping she'd realise here mistakes and heed to my advice..Guess what!! she broke with on Easter Day without excuses as to my crime, and when i inquired to know my crimes, she said i shouldn't play the victim's since i also broke up with her first.. But, before the broke up, i had discovered she was a girl that loves attention and would go toi any means to get it, so, while i was busy with a particular hustle coupled with blogging, i went incommunicado with her and she never for once even deemed it fit to message me or even call. Prior to that, i had been the to always do that.

Then came the day of revelation.. I hit her up on the fone and in my usual way, teased her up with things such her "so, you this wouldn't check up in her hubby àbí", guy ! If you see insult wey i collect eehn, you'd pity for me.. She said i was immature, and not only that, but she's getting several attention from other people and she doesn't need mine anymore.. She broke up with me three days later on Easter.. Did i react to the breakup? Yeah, i did.. I didn't man anything up and i shed tears in my room in Ibàdàn. I lost appetite for food and, became lean and lost weight to the extent that people were complaining when we resumed in our PPA. That's the true rubbish called "love" and its very pathetic to think that a very logical sapient like you can fall for such folly but you have,at least once in a lifetime. It's another intellectual lesson you have to learn on your journey in this very short life.

Go for the intellectual sound ones with lots of logic and reasonings to go round. Trust me, they'd be very arrogant and appear spoilt and on top of their world but, they'd fall in line when they eventually discover that you're in same league with them.. Its not for your sake but for your offsprings sake, for they'd get most of their cognitive abilities and learning from their mom for the first 10yrs of their life.. This is the bedrock.

My advice to you is not to breakup with her rather, let her breakup with you instead.. Trust me,at this moment, she'd be very happy about her decision and would appear to be living fine and even glowing and radiating, while you'd feel miserable,dumped and duped at first for some months (probably 6-8 months) but, you'd learn superbly.. Oh, dear! You'd learn tremendously during this grieving period. Eventually, her time of grieve would come immediately after her time of happiness, when she discovers that you're no longer there to pester her about "this and that", your future together, entrepreneurship, general enlightenment, etc. She'd eventually get get a new source of energy and attention from other sweet talking and Instagra-flashing guys but, the veil would soon falloff her eyes and she'd see demons.. Then she'd start regretting her decisions, then she'd start longing, then she'd start reaching forward to guys with your attributes but, nature has taught guys with your attributes,to steer clear of ladies with her attributes by playing the "breakup lesson" with them through the hands of other intellectually deficient ladies hereby, prompting them to reject laides with cognitive deformities.. At the end, it's an irony that it's a simple win-win situation for you..

Trust the evolutionary cycle of nature..

Post No Bill [/b]

Ogbẹ́nutan tan ooo.... Thanks i really appreciate this

Peterosky:
.My brother calm down, Richdad is correct. You don't just wake up and term another person unintelligent when you also lack intelligence. Being quiet is not enough to be called unintelligent. Some persons are simply just asocial which often times reflect on their communication life yet they are brilliant. Go back and read what the Op wrote there and you will really appreciate Richdad's position.

Hey bro, I know i made a mistake by using the word "Intelligent" read my story and get to know what i'm talking about

Jewessgratitude:


Everything na problem to una. Girl talk, "she too talk " she no talk, "shes not intelligent".

Dont worry, go and marry a lawyer. Na roof you go dey sleep.

Can you cope with a guy that call you and all she could say is "Hello babe", "How are you doing today", ﷼Have you eaten" I will call you back later.
Answer me please

For people asking for her interests, I don't know what really interests here because she has never discussed anything really serious with me. If i called after saying hello, how are you doing today?, the next thing she ask is
Where are you?, have you eaten?. Those words are meant for secondary school kids. I've complained several times and her response was that she don't know what to say that i should teach, she also feel sad about it.

Thehumanlloydl:
She doesn't like you.

That's not true

lefulefu2:
which type of books?
send her romance novels
nigerian girls go crazy over romance novels.
u cant be sending her Nelkon and parker physics text books and other academic books and u expect her to be reading them when she aint preparing for any exams
be innovative and send her good romance novels since u say u like girls who read

Can you please recommend some for me?
I do send her motivational books though

Mekenz:
your answer still boil down to my second paragraph, about like mind soul going together, have you study these your so called girlfriend very well? According to you she is an undergraduate, how those she relate and mingle with her course mate, both genders? is she a newbie in a relationship settings? what are her interest, passion and drive about her course and life in general? And finally is she really have interest in you as you said. Just dig these issues and you will surely find what you have been looking for.

Thanks for this

Mekenz:
you need to throw more light on what you measure as been intelligent from a person, from your own point of view, if you can answer that, then i can proceed from there by issuing my succinctly advice.

NB:

Nobody is a boring person, it takes a like minds souls to frolic together.

As someone said up there i think boring, timid and naive are the right words for me to use. Back to your question, ever since we've been dating she never bring up any issue/topic we can talk about, future plans, life after school etc

moscow406:

Op just used his girlfriend as a case study from the sample size called "most uninterested Nigerian ladies".

How can you ascertain for a fact that she isn't intelligent ; because she doesn't bring up topics?

Answer the following questions
1. Is she a graduate or an undergraduate?
2. When exactly do you initiate conversations? When she's tired or energetic ; online or one on one?
3. Do the both of you stay within the same region or do you have a lot of things in common?

A lot of girls aren't as bright as they seem on social media, so they borrow hashtags when they post and reply with the archaic 'K' during conversations. But you can't really blame them, they have very little exposure to books and other sources of knowledge hence, they turn blank on most occasions. Ask them about BBNaija, the latest social trends, and voila, their cerebrum starts firing on full cylinder.

Op, you are not dating a mute, it's either she is a very quiet type; but if she likes you to an extent, that problem should be alleviated if she has feelings for you or she is not really interested in the relationship and is just enduring you and your excesses (I too know).

Bro, since you think highly of yourself as a very intelligent male of the human specie, it is expected of you to move more with people of the same calibre, intelligence wise since you're seeking a partner that can challenge you in conversations, tickle your intuition and widen your scope in whatsoever field you might be attracted to.

SUMMARY : The questions are for you to think about what you might be doing wrong. In layman's language : what you seek isn't in the vessel you call your partner, find another. Goodluck

Answers
1)She's still an undergraduate
2)Online and whenever we're together too we barely talk about serious issues. Few weeks ago she complained about how i stopped chatting with her on WhatsApp and i said it to her face that i'm fed up of bringing up topic everytime, she nearly cried that day she said its not her fault that she don't what to say i should teach, that's when i sent her some books for women
3) We are not from same region

1beat:
if that is the only reason you considered to leave her you might regret later .. look for mature and responsible married woman let her tutor ur girl friend. I sense you are not a good teacher. her environment and upbringing is reason for her actions

I suspect this too because that is how her younger sister is too. Thanks i will put this into consideration

Lonestar124:
I hope the disscusion is about how to better one life not politics and celebrity lifestyles

Everybody can not be talkative!

Not at all.. Its about how to better our lives

MEGA4BILLION:
The worst thing in life is living with a boring person. Problems in marriages and relationship arises from poor or lack of communication. When there is no communication, the relationship will be boring. To make up this deficit aspect of the relationship always results in either or both of the partners cheating. Sit her down, discuss this with her, observe her for some time then weigh out your options. But don't waste her time.

Thanks for this

Wisdom555:
This is really serious. Fluency is not a measure of Intelligence per se. What are her interests?

Interests??

Hi everyone, i dont want to bore you with long talk.
I need your advise on this issue,
Me and this girl have been in a relationship for over a year now, she posses some of the features i want in my woman but she's lacking one thing which is intelligence, i always be the one to bring up a topic we can talk about, I've never meet her for advice or anything that bothers me because i know she can't proffer any solution to it, we don't use to chat on WhatsApp after saying hi and i reply, how was your day that's the end, I'm the only one that bring up issue to discuss everytime but now am tired of it, I've complained to her several times but she said she don't what to say, I've sent her some books to read but she didn't read any of them. I'm thinking of breaking up with her because i can't cope with her again and then i decide to give it a second thought that's why i put it here if there is any other tips i can use to build her up to my taste

Advise me please!