Lalasticlala

This my writing. This guy Plagiarised it.

You're a thief! You Plagiarised my work from Facebook. Took to your blog and posted her. You're a big thief. Don't bother. Your blog will go down.

Wow! A 42 year old woman sent this to Solomon Buchi Bartholomew, a Nigerian Motivational Speaker and Life Coach:

Good evening Coach Buchi, please inspire ladies with this story of mine. I have been reading from you and I know you have a lot of female followers who this will benefit. I am 42 of age and I'll be getting married in January as a virgin. Yes, people might wonder why but my story is that of not tolerating anything less than my standard.

Many men came; most would come for sex. I've been in many relationships and 80% of the guys wanted to audition me sexually before getting married to me. I refused. How would I give sex because of desperation to marry?

Some others were boxers; they'd batter me, and I left a lot. I remember when I was 30, friends, and even church folks asked me to marry this guy who usually beat me once in a while, with the promise that he'd change, that we all have weakness. I still left.

Pressure from family to just find a man and marry. My friends hooking me up?
Lots of things through this process but I knew what I wanted. I didn't want to settle for less. I told God that even if I'm 60, I'll prefer bring single than marrying just any man.

Last two years, I walked out of a relationship where this guy's parents already met my people, but I later discovered that he was a serial cheat, just two months to our traditional marriage. I backed out.

At some point, I began to wonder if marriage was for me because I felt something was wrong with me. People helped me feel that way too; they made me believe my conditions for marriage were stringent. Because I wanted a man who is a real husband. Because I never wanted sex before marriage. Because I had standards that were even attainable.

Today I am engaged and will be getting married to the best man in the world in January. Exactly all I asked for and even more. I am 42 and still a virgin. Many wouldn't believe but yes, I've never had sex. I'm not ready to tell my story without anonymity, I'll like you to share without my name please.

Young ladies shouod know that they don't need to bring down their standards to get married. Marriage is not all. I am a PhD holder and financially able, I built it myself with God's help.

Ladies, should also know that sex is not everything in and before marriage. Don't settle for less. Society will keep saying you're close to menopause, go and marry but believe me, the pain of a bad marriage is worst than the pain of not having a child because of menopause in a good marriage. Besides you can adopt. I'm not saying wait till 42 before you marry like me but please do not consider biological age while planning marriage. Don't try to meet up with any age because society says so.

********************************************

I am truthfully stunned and surprised.

My experience with weed yesterday.

I had a life experience yesterday, I so thought I'd die. I am writing this to narrate the absurd ordeal I encountered yesterday evening, and throughout last night.

Okay. I ate a food that had weed in it, and a lot happened. I was actually at a female friend's house when I called my guy and asked him if he cooked, that my friend; our mutual friend, was coming with me to his house.

He said he prepared rice and beans but ended with a disclaimer that he added ‘Igbo’ (Marijuana).
Myself and other two ladies went ahead to his house. On reaching, he dished the food into a plate, I declined eating at first because I was a bit heavy, but as time went on, I began to eat.

I honestly thought that marijuana in food wasn't as intoxicating as when smoked. The first time I had a taste of weed, it was in dog meat pepper soup, with my secondary school friends many years ago and I wasn't so affected. I thought same for this food.

Folks, after gulping down some spoons of the ‘weedked” rice and beans. I was done and we were gisting. We talked about a lot; especially mimicking some lecturers and school memories, as we laughed hard. Everything was funny. I became very clownish, I joked and joked, and everyone would keep laughing. At some point, I'd start laughing without a cause; uncontrollably. And that was how I ran outside laughing, and staggered. I felt my mind clogged and it dawned on me that I was under the influence of something.

When I ran outside, my friends thought I was normal but I began to say:

“Jesus, something's wrong with me, I'm under the influence of something. What's wrong with me.”

I held my head and scratched my hair like I wanted to rip off my brain. Folks, that was how my friends held me back and asked me to calm down that I'll be fine. They held me, took me into the house.

I kept on asking what was wrong with me. Yowling and frightening that I was messed up.

For sometime I felt like I was mad. I kept visualising how I remained in that state and my dad came and took me to a psychiatric hospital; how I couldn't achieve my dreams again because of insanity. I even thought I would die.

All of a sudden, I asked to lie on the body of one of those ladies who's closer to me than the other. Asked her to hold me and reassure to me that I'll be fine. And for real, her presence made me feel so secure and hopeful. I held her tight on the bed as I laid down. I kept telling her I loved her and just by having her around in that state shows me how much she's good. I remember I said this: “Friendship is giving someone your laps to lie on when you could be lying on a sweet matress yourself..”

I asked my friend to run quickly and get anything that will make me feel better. He kept saying that in the next fifteen minutes I'll be fine. The bought cold coke, gave me to drink. I could barely open my eyes, I couldn't walk but I was talking. After sometime again, they gave me Garri to drink. They said they sent someone to get coconut for me. That it'd help me get better..

Now here's the Crux of this experience..
Somehow I knew when I was lied to. I was so sensitive that I had could hear the faintest whisper. I'd authoritatively ask what was said, and when nobody answered, I'd repeat exactly.
I could see the gestures on their faces and when they communicated with sign language even with my eyes closed.

Then, I began to lecture them on life. According to them, everything I said made deep sense. I even told them to take seriously the things I'll say while under the influence of that thing because they'd hardly hear me say them again.
I talked about personal timing, wisdom in friendship, conservativeness, and even I could remember the most insignificant thing we were taught in class last week. I taught them a lot.

Folks, I knew I was not myself but I somehow was conscious. I'd finding myself just talking before I'd realise what I was saying. It was scared and amazed. This stuff started around 5:30 pm in the evening and lasted till 10. I mean, I was just talking. They tried everything to stop me, but I couldn't help. My mouth was even hurting but I couldn't stop talking.

I remember that I began to talk about all of them.
Told the closest; the one who I laid on her laps that she'd marry a very good man. Such that sometimes she'd good teary eyed just because of how kind and good her hubby will be. She asked when she'd meet him. I told her I never knew but that he'd come soon, and most importantly he'd come when she was tired of waiting.

As I spoke to her, the overheard the voice of the other girl, asking me to talk about her. I told her I couldn't say anything about her. After sometime, I told her that it seems her father is a pastor. She confirmed it to be true. That he pastors in RCCG. I asked her to be careful not to get divorced in marriage. Asked her again if someone in her family is divorced, and she confirmed it to be true.

I told my guy that he'd be super wealthy. That his purpose in life is building people financially. That he'd most certainly will be rich even while in school but he should endeavour to help people.

I suddenly began calling myself a witch; white witch. That I carry a presence that is so powerful. That in fact, the environment we were in was so dangerous and I sensed some cult boys were around, but that no matter what happens, they won't get into the house because I was there. That I carry safety wherever I go. That's why I'm not afraid of death. I told them I had super powers.

I talked about my background. At some point after saying something, I exclaimed if I haven't leaked a secret. They'd tell me that I haven't..
I was so open and sincere so much that I was afraid if I'd say secrets that shouldn't be known by anyone else.

This sounds like a movie; funny but real life.
While I was in those episodes, I actually told my female friend, the one I just wanted to be with, that what just happened to me was a movie idea; the whole movie will be the words and imaginations of a man who's high on weed. The end will be when I'll be fine.

Gosh!

A lot came to my mind. I told stories.
Another thing I observed was that I spoke very good English. My fluency and articulation and even voice mannerisms was so professional and topnotch. I could feel a highly ingenious Buchi. I knew I wasn't myself but I wasn't entirely not aware of the things I said. I just found myself talking.

I even instructed them to write down certain things I said. I'd get angry when someone lied to me when I asked a question. I just sensed deception.

Every time I wanted urinating. I'd call my guy and say: “Come help me let's do the man's thing...”
I'd pee so incoherently in his toilet. I could barely stand. After peeing, I'll call the lady: “Anita, come and touch me. I trust you. I don't trust him..”

She'd come hold me and take me back to the bed as I laid on her legs. At some point I began praying for her, that for her letting me lie on her legs that she'd never lose those legs even in an accident.

I even told her about her past. That she's scared of commitment because she gave it but was heartbroken..

Folks. This whole episode lasted from 5:30pm till around 10pm. That was when I could walk but I was still a bit under it's influence. They had to take me to my house and my preferred female friend stayed with me. That was when she began to tell me what I was saying; I remembered but was surprised how I said it. I took my bath and drank Garri.

When I laid on the bed, I'd feel uneasy she scared unless I held her hand. I consistently asked her to hold me as she slept. Even she flipped her hand, I'd get back and hold her. It brought me closer to being fine.

This is an experience that I do not know how to classify it. It's not about eating Igbo but the things I said while I was under it's influence. Gosh. They were deep!
I sounded like a sage at sometime.
I was scared of my own abilities. I felt like I was too small for what I carry in me.

I never knew this would happen. Everyone wasn't happy. The quantity he put was much; really much. I thought it was a tad content. It got me to planes of consciousness that I never have really reached independently.

Did I tell you too that I even talked about psychology?
While under it's jinx, I told them that I've been practicing psychology and what happened to me is actually my subconscious mind talking..

I am happy I'm getting better right now. Just a little dizzy but I can't sleep. I feel so alert. But at least I can walk around now and help myself, and consciously engage my mind. Before now, I felt myself going in and out of my mind. I couldn't really hold onto one thing. It kept wavering

Folks, this is my experience. One I never wanted but this is making me scared.

Were I just high or is weed now a door to spiritism? How did I know when someone lied?
How did I know these things about my friends that they confirmed to be true?
And truthfully before now I never knew.

Finally, I can never go close to anything that has a drop of weed in it. This experience was funny and scary but it's never happening again.

I know it's a long read but mehn, I had to share.

This post is unedited. I lacked the patience to edit.

HUSBAND NOT MASTER

A lady is in dilemma. Her husband to be is mandating that after their traditional marriage, she'll have to close down her bank account and use his own. She isn't permitted to have a personal or different account. And he's so bent on this, so much that he advises her to leave now if she won't submit all her money to him in marriage, and their marriage is supposed to be in two weeks time.

I read comments on the thread questioning those who asked her to leave, that she's not submissive. Some postulated that she should marry him first and talk it out in marriage.

This is very dicey.

There's a culture of talking about it in marriage rather than before marriage. This culture prevails in the African society. We manipulate people, especially ladies to get married by just any way. No consideration of future implications.

I am so much a fan of “talk about it all before marriage”. Discuss about everything that'd happen in marriage. This is the purpose of dating/courting. Talking. Asking questions. Interviewing your partner. All to know if their perspectives accommodate yours, because if you both have lots of contradictory opinions, polarisation will be close.

It's a pity that this lady didn't even discuss finance with her prospective husband till it popped up just few weeks to marriage. Everything is supposed to be settled before marriage is agreed on. You must be sure.

Now, I support she leaves the man. Even if it's a day to the marriage. Marriage is too serious to delve into it with uncertainty and conflict of interest.

Why should a man request his wife transfers all her money to him and closes down her account?
And subsequently in marriage, her income will be at his feet for determination of how it'll be expensed.

This is domestic tyranny. This is just a slave master not a husband.

What again is marriage?
Loving a woman and committing to her or controlling her?

I'm not against having a joint account. It's okay but consent must be mutual. Understanding must be established. Voluntarily not with coercion.

But a woman having to work for a month, or do whatever she does to earn a living, then at the end of it all, she submits her salary to you because you're her husband is a stupid thing to do.

No reasonable man does this.

One who works should enjoy and keep his/her money. What nonsense submission is that?

Many times when I read stories like this, I cringe. Honestly many men are grown up babies. They make me feel I'm ready for marriage than they are, even if they are older, and maybe financially ahead.

Women shine your eyes. You need husbands, not masters.

Solomon Buchi Bartholomew
Life Coach/Motivational Speaker

This.

...and I checked my NECO result today. After 7 years.

Last week, I wrote an article on personal timing that went viral, where I founded that my classmates have been done with school since two years ago and some serving this year, meanwhile I haven't even been to the university.

That nobody defines when it's prestigious to reach a height in life. Whether to get married, or get a job, or get a degree.
We could be classmates but not purpose or destiny mates, hence life will happen to us very differently.

I was done with high school in 2010. I went to a science school, and my results were bad.
Life happened, I went to serve as ‘NWABOY’ as ensured by my dad. So schooling was the last thing on my mind, tho I was a voracious reader.

Mom died. Things got bad and all other penury that happened.

Getting my O’ level was the last thing on my mind. No funds, and life wasn't just favourable.

I remember an uncle of mine telling me to rewrite, that he'd sponsor. When time for registration came, he didn't pick my calls again ever.

Well, a lot happened and I decided to rewrite NECO this year. I wasn't loud about it. Just members of my tribe knew.

Do you know what it's like to go back to write an exam after a whooping 7 years of being out of curriculum?

I read my best. Prayed my best. And took each paper with the best of me. This time around I rewrote for social science, and art, as I am looking at a career in social work or psychology as a life coach and prospective psychotherapist. Whenever God wills.

Today when I read in the news that the results were out. I got anxious, but to end the anxiety, I got off to get the scratch card and check my result.

I saw 8 credits. 1 Distinction.
I screamed. I cried.

Yes, you might feel it's too small an achievement, but this is personal to me. Very personal.
The crucibles of life's experience that surrounded my life. The uncertainty of many things. The unusual timing.

I decided to share this here, because I do not feel any inch of underachievement ‘cos my mates have bagged their degrees and I just got my SSCE.

A lot of people hardly believe I am not a graduate. It's understandable.
I have poured a lot of development into myself resulting to how much I have inspired and motivated lives.

That is one reason I am proud of me.
I might not have what my mates have but I have what they admire, what they seek, what they consult and pay me for.

And a woman said to me today:

“Getting a university education for you now is just to add to your accolades. You have been trained in the university of life.”

Life has taught me some lessons in my short span of existence.

That we should never compare ourselves to anyone even if they were our classmates.

God will never give you a thing because he gave it to your mate, he'd give you because it is his purpose for you.
Stop killing yourself by comparison.

There's no general timing for success.
When your time comes, you'll have it.
And the very best time is when it comes; God's time.

Your mates might have gotten their degrees, and gotten married. Working with a good pay.
And if you're not, it doesn't necessarily mean you're late. It doesn't mean they are better..

It means that we all have personal timing ordained by God for our affairs.

In his own time he makes all things beautiful, not in the time of your mates.

You may SHARE.

Solomon Buchi Bartholomew
Life Coach/Motivational Speaker

Dear Toke Makinwa,

You said in your last video that men should put effort into calling their girlfriends; and you quickly disdained WhatsApp call; insinuating it's cheap, and he should call directly with his money, that it shows more seriousness, unless he's staying out of the country. And you further concluded that girls like being called; and chatting shouldn't always be the norm.

Madam, I beg you in the name of whatever you believe in. Stop misleading young girls.

I remember the last time you rattled; advising young ladies to be free to double date, do one night stands in their early twenties. That those years shouldn't be taken seriously.

Madam, now you're on another one.
What makes WhatsApp call ‘cheap’?!
We ain't in America or Europe where you'd find a free WiFi every 2 minutes walk.
This is Nigeria and we buy data, for God's sake, it is expensive.

I spend almost if not over 10k every month for data, and then you open your mouth to say, WhatsApp calls should be disregarded?
We burn data when we make WhatsApp calls!!
It is MONEY!

What is the goal of calls?
Innit communication?
So talking directly on cellular call will make the message more comprehensible?

Madam, let me also make it known to you that times have changed. Internet calls have taken over. 10 years from now, there might not be cellular calls. That's innovation, and civilisation is adapting with the dynamics it brings.

Saying WhatsApp call is cheap and improper for lovers is chatting is cheap and improper, so I'd have to send you a letter mechanically each time I want to communicate with you via written words..
Meanwhile there's a technological provision for that.

That's stone age mentality.

Besides, please, not all girls love being called.
And there's nothing petty about chatting.

The end point of calls and chats is communication. Effective communication.
Cellular calls is not in any way more valuable than WhatsApp call. Instead, the fact that I find time to even reach out to you means I value you.

Please stop trying to sound deep and end up sounding shallow. Everything is not deep.
Biko.

And for those females I saw validating that nonsense on that video, I saw a comment that went: “Any guy that calls a woman on WhatsApp or messenger is a boy..”

If you think like that girl, you need a resetting slap. The data used to call you, did you dash him?!

Again,
I thought Toke is a feminist. How will she say it turns her off when guys change DP constantly or stays online for long. But you and most women do just same..

Double standards much..

If you know Toke, or her onye yard ya, please forward this to her.


written by:
Solomon Buchi Bartholomew
Life Coach/Motivational Speaker

Lalasticlala

My kid sister was raped yesterday. It was horrendous, and I am currently ferocious!

How did it happen?

She went to visit a friend. Male friend; unfortunately she felt the bloke was responsible. But she was wrong.

When she went, there were people at home, but while they were together, they all left home.

So according to her, he began pleading for sex. She refused. Told him he didn't budget for that.

Immediately dude turned into a monster, persisted, and forcefully pushed himself on her.

She tried fighting him, but he was stronger.
He forced his way in, had his way and after 15 minutes, he was done.

He began apologising, that he was sorry. It won't happen again. That it's because she's beautiful. He began crying. He pleaded.

My kid sister feigned being cool. Left his house and came home.
I noticed she was sobbing and had a gloomy aura; and this was unusual. So I asked her, and after sometime she opened up.

HE RAPED ME!

I raged!
Who is he?
Where is his house?
How did it happen?

Folks, I immediately called the SARS group in my place. Went to the house; luckily we found him about leaving. Yesterday was that day his stars kissed a mixture of coma and toilet.

The SARS group beat the hell out of the beast. I actually joined hands, I slapped him over 30 times and seeing him, you'd know that torture was care compared to how he was handled.

I used pepper; Cameroon pepper; ground one. I mixed it with Aboniki and rubbed lavishly on his penis and balls. While rubbing it, I held his scrotum and was nudged to crush his balls immediately. Honestly, I used the finger and crushed one of his balls.

The whole street was watching like it was a movie making.
While I put the guy through all these caring gestures, yes, caring. One animal from the crowd said:

“Na just because of rape wey you dey treat this guy like this..the girl no enjoy am?”

I was fuming.
I turned and landed him two faced slap with my hands on his right and left cheek at once.

The police arrested him for that statement; insinuated he was a rapist.

I already called a lawyer; my friend. Told her everything and she came around.

At this time, my sister was already taken to the hospital for care.

So we took these boys to the police station; the rapist and the guy who validated his actions.

I felt this fury to constantly hit him till we got to the station. No. I didn't want to kill him, but wanted him to feel intense pain. INTENSE PAIN. and even if he dies, I don't care. Rapists are demons.

So at the station, the statement was made, my sister came back and gave her version. Everything was documented and the rapist was put in the cell.

I asked the police men to dump him in the worst conditioned cell; smelling like hell and toilet, probably a den of mosquitoes and rodents. He was dumped there, still with the pain and torture of the Aboniki mixed with Cameroon pepper.

We left.

Last night, his family members have called me begging. That they'd pay 300,000 for his bail. Folks I do not care. We don't want.

By next week, that boy will be charged to court. No bail. He'd to charged to rot in the prison and in his next life he won't ever even have an erection, talk more anything else..

Lo and behold, at this point I woke from the hallucinations of my mind.
Woe unto to guy that'd rape my sister. I can't even verbalise the treatment he'd be given.
For the minutes when I imagined these things, I expressed real anger at each scene, talk more when it's real. My anger will destroy that animal before he gets to prison.

Rape is a terrible crime. And anyone who can forcefully have sex with a woman is a beast.
Any man who's a rapist can kill. Yes, if you can forcefully have sex, what's the difference between that and forcefully taking my life?

It is animalistic to retain erection on top a woman who's crying, panting for rescue, and shouting to be freed. Anyone who can do this has no form of humanness in him and deserves the most gruesome death.

Rape cannot be justified. A rapist will rape you even if you're on Hijab. It has nothing to do with dressing. So would we justify someone stealing my TV because my room was open?
Why justify rape on the grounds of ‘she didn't dress well?’

Like I said,
The devil has punished whoever will rape my sister. I am not praying for such, but if I ever find you, you'd never prefer life to what you'd be subjected to.

The only thing that makes sex beautiful is the mutuality of consent. If consent is one sided, then it's not just rape. It's death.

Being a man doesn't give you whatsoever right to deserve unrestricted access to a woman's vagina. Even if she's walking around naked, keep your dick in its place.

Her vagina is not your inheritance, ask your father.

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Written by
Solomon Buchi Bartholomew
Life Coach/Motivational Speaker

In my opinion, it is ideally wrong for parents to depend on their children to sustain life. Yes. It is wrong for parents to feel entitled to their children's wealth and possession. This is prevalent in Africa, where parents take care of their child because they want their child to grow up and take care of them.
And when these children grow up and reality isn't so favourable, they pester hell into them.

This is wrong.

You don't train your children with the bid of a payback of being taken care of by them. No!
In fact, it's so wrong to feel you're doing your children a favour by taking care of them.

That's what you should do!
It's a responsibility you put on yourself..
It was never their choice to be born, you brought them into this world and it is demanded of you to take care of them, not just till they get mature and married, but till you die.

Yes.
It's very significant for parents to still support their blossoming children.
And I'll do just this; even when my children have grown up, even married, I'll still send them money once in a while, or even as much as I can. Not because they lack but to show a significance of fatherhood over them.

Sadly, many African parents don't understand this. They work hard only because they want to train their children with hope of reaping from them, not because they want to get a good life for themselves.

See, you should have a plan for your entire life, forget children.
You should work hard not just because of training them, but to secure a beautiful life for yourself till our death.

As unconventional as this sounds, your children don't owe you anything because you took care of them. Like I said, you brought them in without their volition.
It's so wrong, yes, to feel entitled to a payback from your children.

Why?
Because you had sex with their mom and gave birth to them?
It's your responsibility!
They are entitled to that!
But you're not entitled to them..

This is why I loathe seeing children hawk on the streets. Honestly, if anyone should hustle and hawk, it should be the parents. Yes!

Now, don't get me wrong...
I never said children should be stingy to their parents. But if your child is gonna take care of you when they get successful, it's out of love, not necessarily because you won any award of parenting..
It was your work.

They should give because they want to.
Because you're a human and we should feel the pain of others, not necessarily because you are entitled to it.

This is how it should be.

You don't take care of your child so they'll pay you back for doing what you had to do.
So wrong.

Your children don't owe you anything.
You owe them a lot more till you leave this earth. You brought them, they didn't bring you..

I know this article might be largely misunderstood because it's totally against the prevalent traditional sentiments.

Written by
Solomon Buchi Bartholomew
Life Coach/Motivational Speaker

70% of Nigerian men are scared of getting married; many of them are scared and even sure of cheating on their wives in marriage.
If you check these men, most, if not all of them are sexually active and adventurous men.

You know why they are scared?
Because they've always been doing multiple sex partners, jerking off inside any human with a vagina, and it builds a conditioning in their mind, and just getting married cannot change this reality of this..

See,
A man cannot give you in marriage what he didn't practice as a single..

If you're all ‘strafing' around, having multiple lovers, commitment; real commitment will be alien to you. It'll be impossible for you to just readapt.

This is one of the demerits of doing sex before marriage, especially with multiple partners.
As a man, it makes you so concerned and glued to physical intimacy than you are to real commitment..
You gradually lose consciousness of what commitment really is..

See, if you can't be a faithful boyfriend, you might hardly be a faithful husband..
Marriage doesn't automatically make you a husband material.
You build those virtues..

So if you don't want to cheat on your wife, why cheat on your girlfriend?
You cannot just wake up one day and become a god husband.
You just practice in your dating relationship the kind of relationship you'd want in marriage.

You're scared of committing to your wife in marriage, because you ain't even committed to your girlfriend now..

These men who cheat on their wives chronically, are mostly men who were sexually active before marriage..
Because premarital sex precedes extra marital sex..
See, disobedience breeds disobedience..
If God has told us not to have premarital sex, and we do, it'll be easier for us to commit extra marital sex.

Because when you're abstaining from premarital sex, its not just about being a Virgin. It's about inculcating into yourself discipline and commitment; the same discipline you had against premarital sex would help you against extra marital sex..

It's that simple.

We have the potential to become anything; everything.
But you must focus on what you want to become and practice it. Overtime you'll evolve to become what you continuously practice..

Practice cheating before marriage, you'd easily be a cheat in marriage..
Be a committed, responsible, loyal man before marriage, you'll easily be faithful in marriage.

Men are not polygamous.
Men are just what they allow themselves become.

Stay away from sex before marriage.
It's benefits are really deep. God wasn't a fool when he said we should keep ourselves till marriage..

In most cases, men who married as virgins or practiced abstinence stay loyal in marriage.

You can only learn commitment by being committed.
If you ‘straf’ around, you'll keep ‘strafing’ around.

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Solomon Buchi Bartholomew
Life Coach/Motivational Speaker

I’d Love To Marry A Virgin...

I've always wished to not get married to any woman who's sexually active and most especially has variety of adventurous sexual history. I still haven't changed my stance on this. There's a pressure that comes with being with most past sexual adventurers. It gives them something to compare you with.

There's a subconscious standard in her head..
Oh my ex used to thrust me for 1 hour non stop.
Oh he used to give me head for 50 minutes..
Oh he knew variety of styles..

And when you as a learner thrusts for 20 minutes and cum, she sees you like a weakling, Indomie man..
When you cannot measure up to her past ecstacic adventures, in most cases, you're made to feel incapable, and many ladies cheat because of this; married women.

See, in the right order of things, marriage isn't supposed to be between two sex experts. It's supposed to be between two sex amateurs who'll grow together, and not put pressure on themselves.

You cannot grow if you're compared with a past experience..

And why would she feel you ain't good enough?
Because she has a sexual past!
The memory never leaves!
If she didn't engage in serial sexual adventure, she wouldn't know what it feels like having a big dick pass through her, and even preferring it.

With a Virgin, sex is with less pressure to perform. Just hold yourselves in your innocence and make love instinctively.
As time goes, you both learn together..
Nobody is up there detecting how it's supposed to be. Both are learning.
It's really beautiful..

And the little you can do as a man will be appreciated.
See, a woman will not appreciate your 20 minutes of thrusting if she's experienced 1 hour of thrusting..

You'll always feel frustrated trying to please her because there's a standard, but true sex in marriage is not even about the act of sex but the person involved.
It's not about thrusts, styles, and all that, it's about sharing a part of you with someone you love.

When you're truly having sex, the larger fulfilment comes from the fact that you're wrapped in the arms of the one you love, and not thrusts and all whatnot..

And even if he's not so good. Because there's love, there will be room for learning and patience..

But believe me, many pre-maritally sexually active people are usually impatient. They even write people off based on their first performance. Ask couples, their first sex was never their best sex.

Marriage is just about two people on a journey of learning together, nobody teaches; both are learners..

So it's gonna be disastrous having one feel like they are up there and know how exactly it must be, and you're judged with a past experience they had before marriage. That might be sadly abnormal..

The pressure will be much.

This is one reason why God wants sexual purity before marriage. Because you'll be easily satisfied in marriage if you lack any past sexual history.


written by Solomon Buchi Bartholomew
Life Coach/Motivational Speaker

somebody cannot be serious with Nigerians again?�

Really?�

Weddings, I think are overrated; the luxury and extravagance of just setting up a party and having 5,000 people who don't care about you eat your Jellof rice and chicken, some would even have the intrepidity to say it doesn't taste nice.

How about the needlessness of that thing called bridal shower abi train?


A lot of things are just wrong about Nigerian style of weddings. which makes foolish couples even borrow money to set a day's events, that they'll spend months after wedding paying off

So how can one curtail cost, and have an intimate wedding?
What in your opinion is needless in wedding parties?

let's converse.


Solomon Buchi Bartholomew
Life Coach/Motivational Speaker

All these talks from ladies of: “I cannot marry a man who doesn't have this..”
“I cannot marry a man who doesn't have that..”

My question is what do you have and what are you bringing to the table?

They’re always talking about what they’re entitled to from the man. But never feel the man is entitled to something too from them.

This is why a lot of men don't respect some women. They come like benefactors not partners. It's all about what the man has or not. It's more like he's fathering you and not like partnership.

And this is one fueling forces of condescension and abuse from some men because he feels fully responsible for you, just like you're his child.

That is not how it's supposed to be.

A woman should bring something to the table.
It's not just about what he lacks or has.
He doesn't have a good house..you say..
He doesn't have a car, you say..
You, what do you have?

There are lots of empty women seeking to marry filled men. It doesn't work that way.

Men who respect their wives and worship them so much is not because of their beauty and curves. It's because of what she brought to the table. Because she came with something, she wasn't an empty woman just making demands from her man, she brought stuff, she made things happen..

This is why I keep saying that a woman cannot just fold her and watch her husband foot all the wedding bills. Unless he's very capable and wants to. But then this is wedding; both of you getting married, he is not adopting you, and it's really sensible that you bring your quota. Contribute something.
Give your man that sense of partnership. Most women are the ones who demean and devalue themselves because they feel as a female they should bring nothing. Automatically the man has a superior stand; sees you like an inferior. This is why they are abused; you make men feel that because you're female, nothing much should come from you.

A woman must bring something to the table if she wants to be respected. It might not be money but something really valuable.

Solomon Buchi Bartholomew
Life Coach/Motivational Speaker

Today marks it a year I broke out of my 3 year old beautiful relationship. I met her on Facebook, she was an avid follower on here and fate happened that we began to talk, I initiated it. Progressively we talked and talked and talked ourselves into love.

She was this calm, focused, deep, intelligent and industrious young girl. Studying in a medical school in Ukraine. So it was purely virtual.

We'd talk for hours on a daily basis.
Like I'll talk to her from when I was in my friend's place, I'll walk down home for like 20minutes, get home, reject my food, still talk for many more hours.
It was love; passionate and consuming love.
Love as such that everyone around me knew Buchi was in something deep.

And yes, we continued talking. Talked about vision, our future, perspectives. We planned our lives together because we wanted to share forever.
So being that she was from a wealthy family, she asked me to draw a business plan and she'd give me 80% of the capital which was ₦300,000 as at then.
She wanted me to build my finances, so we could get engaged even as youngsters and I'll be able to at least meet her parents and just do the basic things as regards marrying her. Even as younglings.

So I'd be able to fly to Ukraine and start a life with her.

I ran the business for some months, made gain. Thrived and was a bit financially good.

Then, somehow we were talking someday on whatsapp, so we talked about genotype ish. After the conversation, the next day, I checked my genotype and i was AA. I was so happy because she was AS.

She later came to Nigeria..
We flexed. I met her parents as a friend but i think she told them some other intimate stuff about me.

So one day, I received a call from a strange number; the caller identified as a scientist from the lab I did my genotype test, he apologised to me and let me know that my result was faulted. Actually I was given a wrong result. That I was actually AS. I didn't know what reaction to follow.
Get mad?
Cry?
Rage?

I ended the call, went to another lab, did the test. Result came out; AS.
I checked in another two labs; still AS.
It dawned on me that I was AS and I wasn't compatible with my girlfriend, Ada.

I thought. I cried. I discussed with her. We wanted ourselves so badly. Badly that we could not imagine our lives without ourselves. After three solid years of mentally and emotionally building a life with her?
I'll just say good bye because of genotype?

No!

I talked about miracles with her..
Told her God could change any situation..
We fasted for three weeks and still I checked, I was still AS.

This was the beginning of the end.
Shattering everything we built?
We began to drift away..
In intense pains..

We decided to part ways. For the sake of our future kids. That we shouldn't be so selfish in love that we don't care the medical security of our future children.

It took us 4 months to part.
I got highly depressed, was lean, and lost sweetness in life.
It took me another 2 years to completely move on.
Ada was a rare girl. How could genotype just be our issue?
The pains was much because I kept imagining what could have been..

Why am I telling this story?
Today is world sickle cell day; and youngsters must not get intoxicated by love that we throw caution to the wind.
God has made these genotypes to ascertain compatible and if it's not compatible, please part ways; for the sake of your future children.

Don't bring a sickle cell child into this world because of your unbridled and foolish love. Please it's wise to break the relationship, you'll find someone else. I am currently in another beautiful relationship and she's AA.

If you're AS, and must marry AS, then please adoption should be the case.
Don't make sickle cell children. That's wickedness.

Create awareness by SHARING this post to endorse the world sickle cell day.

This story was fiction. Today marks it a year I broke out of my 3 year old beautiful relationship. I met her on Facebook, she was an avid follower on here and fate happened that we began to talk, I initiated it. Progressively we talked and talked and talked ourselves into love.

She was this calm, focused, deep, intelligent and industrious young girl. Studying in a medical school in Ukraine. So it was purely virtual.

We'd talk for hours on a daily basis.
Like I'll talk to her from when I was in my friend's place, I'll walk down home for like 20minutes, get home, reject my food, still talk for many more hours.
It was love; passionate and consuming love.
Love as such that everyone around me knew Buchi was in something deep.

And yes, we continued talking. Talked about vision, our future, perspectives. We planned our lives together because we wanted to share forever.
So being that she was from a wealthy family, she asked me to draw a business plan and she'd give me 80% of the capital which was ₦300,000 as at then.
She wanted me to build my finances, so we could get engaged even as youngsters and I'll be able to at least meet her parents and just do the basic things as regards marrying her. Even as younglings.

So I'd be able to fly to Ukraine and start a life with her.

I ran the business for some months, made gain. Thrived and was a bit financially good.

Then, somehow we were talking someday on whatsapp, so we talked about genotype ish. After the conversation, the next day, I checked my genotype and i was AA. I was so happy because she was AS.

She later came to Nigeria..
We flexed. I met her parents as a friend but i think she told them some other intimate stuff about me.

So one day, I received a call from a strange number; the caller identified as a scientist from the lab I did my genotype test, he apologised to me and let me know that my result was faulted. Actually I was given a wrong result. That I was actually AS. I didn't know what reaction to follow.
Get mad?
Cry?
Rage?

I ended the call, went to another lab, did the test. Result came out; AS.
I checked in another two labs; still AS.
It dawned on me that I was AS and I wasn't compatible with my girlfriend, Ada.

I thought. I cried. I discussed with her. We wanted ourselves so badly. Badly that we could not imagine our lives without ourselves. After three solid years of mentally and emotionally building a life with her?
I'll just say good bye because of genotype?

No!

I talked about miracles with her..
Told her God could change any situation..
We fasted for three weeks and still I checked, I was still AS.

This was the beginning of the end.
Shattering everything we built?
We began to drift away..
In intense pains..

We decided to part ways. For the sake of our future kids. That we shouldn't be so selfish in love that we don't care the medical security of our future children.

It took us 4 months to part.
I got highly depressed, was lean, and lost sweetness in life.
It took me another 2 years to completely move on.
Ada was a rare girl. How could genotype just be our issue?
The pains was much because I kept imagining what could have been..

Why am I telling this story?
Today is world sickle cell day; and youngsters must not get intoxicated by love that we throw caution to the wind.
God has made these genotypes to ascertain compatible and if it's not compatible, please part ways; for the sake of your future children.

Don't bring a sickle cell child into this world because of your unbridled and foolish love. Please it's wise to break the relationship, you'll find someone else. I am currently in another beautiful relationship and she's AA.

If you're AS, and must marry AS, then please adoption should be the case.
Don't make sickle cell children. That's wickedness.

Create awareness by SHARING this post to endorse the world sickle cell day.

This story was fiction.

Solomon Buchi Bartholomew
Life Coach/Motivational Speaker

The Fallacy That Most Women Are After Just Wealthy Men.

Have you ever thought why Potiphar's wife was attracted to a ‘mere’ servant like Joseph?
Contrary to the popular opinion that women are just after a man's money, Joseph wasn't materially wealthy!
Joseph was just a ‘slave’
Joseph was just a servant..
Joseph never had Ferrari..
Not thirty billion in his account..
Mere Joseph had a governor's wife attracted to him?

How then did this happen?

NOTE: If Potiphar's wife who was like the poshest woman in the province where he husband ruled; if she wanted Joseph, that means other ‘small small girls’ wanted him too.
She was deducted, classy, enlightened and wanted Joseph!
Mehn, other ladies must have wanted Joseph equally!

Joseph was highly admired and wanted by ladies.
Yet he had nothing materially!

Why?

Whenever I dare to break the popular bias that most women are driven by a man's material capacity, I get opposition from lots of guys but for me, this is my conviction; that being broke is not the ultimate deal breaker for ladies.

Now why was Joseph; a servant, admired?

Remember Joseph had a dream?
No, it wasn't just a spiritual vision and all of that..
He had a sense of direction.
He had vision!!!
He knew what we wanted from life!
See, a man with clarity is so sexy!
Women are drawn to men with a vision!
Men who are not there yet but at least they know where they want to be!

Secondly, Joseph found favour in the eyes of Potiphar and Potiphar entrusted in his acre everything he had.

This means that Joseph was responsible and resourceful; he was a leader..
He knew how to maximise things. He was productive in little. Even if he wasn't yet bog, he could maximise the little he had and had good results.
Women love resourceful men; they love men with leadership abilities; men who do wrll when they are in charge. It's sexy.

Lastly, Joseph was outstanding.
He was not like many other men.
He was unique and distinctively different!
And yes, women so love outstanding men..
Be outstanding in your craft, gift, business, career, and have women all around you, no matter how broke you are.

Can we now see how Joseph a broke servant was highly admired and desired by ladies; even his master's wife?

We keep making a fuss out of women.
Yes, there are ladies who are so driven by a man's wealth but then I am of the opinion that the statement: “women hate broke men” is overrated and so exaggerated.

Everyday, women get into relationships with broke guys; they get married.

Now, I hear a lot of guys advise their fellow Gus to money first so they can have any kind of women and I consider this so biased; I see such men as low self-esteemed.

If you cannot be desired by a woman when you have ‘nothing’ but just you; your values, vision, ambition, drive, and character, then you've not started.

If you think you need to make money to be wanted and accepted by a woman, you really need to go back and redefine yourself.

Some men are so poor that all they can offer is money. So let's say their women won't need need them when they make money because money was the only think dude gave..

PS: This doesn't totally downplay the importance of being financially capable as a man. But then, have more than just money.

SHARE!!


Solomon Buchi Bartholomew
Life Coach/Motivational SpeakerThe Fallacy That Most Women Are After Just Wealthy Men.

Have you ever thought why Potiphar's wife was attracted to a ‘mere’ servant like Joseph?
Contrary to the popular opinion that women are just after a man's money, Joseph wasn't materially wealthy!
Joseph was just a ‘slave’
Joseph was just a servant..
Joseph never had Ferrari..
Not thirty billion in his account..
Mere Joseph had a governor's wife attracted to him?

How then did this happen?

NOTE: If Potiphar's wife who was like the poshest woman in the province where he husband ruled; if she wanted Joseph, that means other ‘small small girls’ wanted him too.
She was deducted, classy, enlightened and wanted Joseph!
Mehn, other ladies must have wanted Joseph equally!

Joseph was highly admired and wanted by ladies.
Yet he had nothing materially!

Why?

Whenever I dare to break the popular bias that most women are driven by a man's material capacity, I get opposition from lots of guys but for me, this is my conviction; that being broke is not the ultimate deal breaker for ladies.

Now why was Joseph; a servant, admired?

Remember Joseph had a dream?
No, it wasn't just a spiritual vision and all of that..
He had a sense of direction.
He had vision!!!
He knew what we wanted from life!
See, a man with clarity is so sexy!
Women are drawn to men with a vision!
Men who are not there yet but at least they know where they want to be!

Secondly, Joseph found favour in the eyes of Potiphar and Potiphar entrusted in his acre everything he had.

This means that Joseph was responsible and resourceful; he was a leader..
He knew how to maximise things. He was productive in little. Even if he wasn't yet bog, he could maximise the little he had and had good results.
Women love resourceful men; they love men with leadership abilities; men who do wrll when they are in charge. It's sexy.

Lastly, Joseph was outstanding.
He was not like many other men.
He was unique and distinctively different!
And yes, women so love outstanding men..
Be outstanding in your craft, gift, business, career, and have women all around you, no matter how broke you are.

Can we now see how Joseph a broke servant was highly admired and desired by ladies; even his master's wife?

We keep making a fuss out of women.
Yes, there are ladies who are so driven by a man's wealth but then I am of the opinion that the statement: “women hate broke men” is overrated and so exaggerated.

Everyday, women get into relationships with broke guys; they get married.

Now, I hear a lot of guys advise their fellow Gus to money first so they can have any kind of women and I consider this so biased; I see such men as low self-esteemed.

If you cannot be desired by a woman when you have ‘nothing’ but just you; your values, vision, ambition, drive, and character, then you've not started.

If you think you need to make money to be wanted and accepted by a woman, you really need to go back and redefine yourself.

Some men are so poor that all they can offer is money. So let's say their women won't need need them when they make money because money was the only think dude gave..

PS: This doesn't totally downplay the importance of being financially capable as a man. But then, have more than just money.

SHARE!!


Solomon Buchi Bartholomew
Life Coach/Motivational SpeakerThe Fallacy That Most Women Are After Just Wealthy Men.

Have you ever thought why Potiphar's wife was attracted to a ‘mere’ servant like Joseph?
Contrary to the popular opinion that women are just after a man's money, Joseph wasn't materially wealthy!
Joseph was just a ‘slave’
Joseph was just a servant..
Joseph never had Ferrari..
Not thirty billion in his account..
Mere Joseph had a governor's wife attracted to him?

How then did this happen?

NOTE: If Potiphar's wife who was like the poshest woman in the province where he husband ruled; if she wanted Joseph, that means other ‘small small girls’ wanted him too.
She was deducted, classy, enlightened and wanted Joseph!
Mehn, other ladies must have wanted Joseph equally!

Joseph was highly admired and wanted by ladies.
Yet he had nothing materially!

Why?

Whenever I dare to break the popular bias that most women are driven by a man's material capacity, I get opposition from lots of guys but for me, this is my conviction; that being broke is not the ultimate deal breaker for ladies.

Now why was Joseph; a servant, admired?

Remember Joseph had a dream?
No, it wasn't just a spiritual vision and all of that..
He had a sense of direction.
He had vision!!!
He knew what we wanted from life!
See, a man with clarity is so sexy!
Women are drawn to men with a vision!
Men who are not there yet but at least they know where they want to be!

Secondly, Joseph found favour in the eyes of Potiphar and Potiphar entrusted in his acre everything he had.

This means that Joseph was responsible and resourceful; he was a leader..
He knew how to maximise things. He was productive in little. Even if he wasn't yet bog, he could maximise the little he had and had good results.
Women love resourceful men; they love men with leadership abilities; men who do wrll when they are in charge. It's sexy.

Lastly, Joseph was outstanding.
He was not like many other men.
He was unique and distinctively different!
And yes, women so love outstanding men..
Be outstanding in your craft, gift, business, career, and have women all around you, no matter how broke you are.

Can we now see how Joseph a broke servant was highly admired and desired by ladies; even his master's wife?

We keep making a fuss out of women.
Yes, there are ladies who are so driven by a man's wealth but then I am of the opinion that the statement: “women hate broke men” is overrated and so exaggerated.

Everyday, women get into relationships with broke guys; they get married.

Now, I hear a lot of guys advise their fellow Gus to money first so they can have any kind of women and I consider this so biased; I see such men as low self-esteemed.

If you cannot be desired by a woman when you have ‘nothing’ but just you; your values, vision, ambition, drive, and character, then you've not started.

If you think you need to make money to be wanted and accepted by a woman, you really need to go back and redefine yourself.

Some men are so poor that all they can offer is money. So let's say their women won't need need them when they make money because money was the only think dude gave..

PS: This doesn't totally downplay the importance of being financially capable as a man. But then, have more than just money.

SHARE!!


Solomon Buchi Bartholomew
Life Coach/Motivational Speaker

Lalasticlala

Broke Nigerian men keep complaining that women reject them because of their lack of financial ability. This self pitying consoling thought line is always sold by these men to compensate their poor ego, but that's not usually the case. It's not always because of being broke. Sometimes, maybe, most times.

Now, here's the reality.
We always assume that every women rejects a man because he's just broke.
This makes us ignore the possibilities of other inadequacy that could be a deal breaker in men.

Money is not all. In fact, it's a myth that women are after money. A lot of broke dudes still fall in love and get married.
So?

There's something these rejections are about that is far from money.

Cool, you don't have money.

How about your confidence?
Your self esteem?
Do you exude low self esteem and talk out of pity?
How intelligent and engaging are you?
Can you make intelligent conversations and brainstorm with a woman?
Do you have a vision?
A feasible and promising vision you're relentlessly pursuing?
How's your sense of humour like?
How's your sense of dressing?
We know you have cheap few clothes as a broke dude, but how do you use and combine the ones you have?
How romantic are you?
How clean are you?
What are your values like?

A lot of broke young men are nil when it comes to these aforementioned questions, so when they hit rejection from a female, they rant, they cry, ‘Its because I am broke..’
‘Women love money .’

No bro.
You're your problem.
You lack money.
What else do you have.
Or is money now the essence of your person?

See, I keep saying it, Money doesn't make a man. Most times it's low self esteemed men that flaunt money to attract women; they use money to cover up their inadequacies.
Take away money from them, nothing is left.

Poor souls.

Y'all broke guys should go back and build yourself, nah, I don't mean financially.
Go check your confidence, intelligence, humor, resourcefulness, maturity, focus, etc.

Go check all of these.
Many times you're rejected for something far from your broke state.

Ain't meaning to brag sha..
But pre-rich me, women be falling in love with me anyhow. Lol.
I don't have money, so I keep wondering when they say women love money. It's not always about it.

Yea, women love money but it's not the way we make it be.

Broke dude, go fix yourself.
Aside financial inadequacy, there might be lots of inadequacies you have. ��

Kindly SHARE!

Solomon Buchi Bartholomew
Life Coach/Motivational Speaker

Please can you keep quiet if you do not know what it means to write and see the writing stolen.

BroZuma:


It is good to see that the write up is your intellectual property. Since I don't use Facebook, what impression did you think I have when your name pops up elsewhere?

The guy who doesn't have a manner of approach or the cultured fellow who knows how to resolve issues?

Okay.

Poster, why did you steal this post from my Facebook wall?

This post was originally made by me on 22nd of June. Trying to upload the screenshot here but not working.

Stop the freaking intellectual thievery!!!

Poster you're a thief!
Stop plagiarising people's post!!
Why didn't you give credit to the original writer from Facebook?

This is my intellectual property, you shameless thief!!