₦airaland Forum

lastpage: WHY I DISLIKE COMMENTING ON MARITAL ISSUES ON NAIRALAND?

1.) Read the comments and you will see a pattern of sex-ism in most comments!(women run-down men while defending their folk and vice-versa).

2.) There is a general assumption by MOST WOMEN that ONLY a man is capable of "battering" his spouse but EVIDENCE world-wide proves otherwise. Both Husband and wife are capable of violence in a marriage.

3.) People who have no clue of what marriage looks like, people whose "greatest experience" of what marriage travails are, is "reading it from a book" or doing some "academic" course in school, are suddenly turning into "Marriage Counselors"! .
"Walk the Walk" before you "Talk the Talk". Experience is not bought nor read somewhere, it is "EXPERIENCED" in real life!

4.) Folks have this annoying habit of jumping to conclusions, and it is even worse when they do so, just from hearing from ONLY ONE of the parties involved!. How do you expect a "scorned woman" or a "jealous husband" to give you a true and fair account of events
, when they are the ones narrating the story? (l still remember the story of that lady, a few months ago, who came here and ran down her husband and the "counselors" pounced on him like 'Hyena on raw meat'! only for her to realize and apologize for her one-sided story!) Lessons should be learned from such 'experience' now, abi?

5.) Whether you like it or not, CULTURE, (Nigerian Culture for that matter) plays an important part in any marriage. For example, it is the culture of the "White Man" to be driven away from the family home and children taken from him (given o the wife) when the family breaks down, to burn/annihilate the whole family when "he cant take anymore of it, e.t.c. while it is the culture of the Nigerian man to retain the family home, drive the wife away when family breaks down, keep and maintain the children, e.t.c. (l am not condoning either culture, just "laying it on the table"
In each case, it is "how is done in our environment" (our culture) and hardly do you hear (at least not with the same level of occurrence)that a Nigerian man sets fire to himself and his children, simply because his wife denied him access to them. Its just not in our system/culture.
In essence, to say culture has no impact in a marriage, is to be very naive.


Since there are always "two-sides" to every Coin and "Kind words allays anger", every "marriage complainant" must also tell us their own contribution to the failure of such marriage or what triggers such violence in the marriage and the part they played in exacerbating it beyond repair.

If all you want is just a "rubber-stamp" of your "intentions" or you just need that "feel-good" factor when others bash your spouse for you, then Nairaland is your best destination. You are welcome!

Fingers crossed for now.

Lastpage!

BTW: I seriously hate this "new page layout" of N.Land, its an eye-sore!. Is it only me?

i agree, and oh! its not only you this "new page layout" of N/L is crap! took the fun out of N/L