Sniff some glue. Try with caffeine - would only get you hy-per though.
Cook up some dust.
GET LAID it will take you to SEVENTH HEAVEN - that's as high as high gets ain't it??

Am I psychic? How would you expect me to figure that out? If all threads on nairaland were based on hypothetical situations then your grudge would be understandable.

Good question. Aren't those just church brigades looking for roofs over their heads.
90 percent of them are probably not even trained and abuse their arrestees recklessly.

I hope I never have a run in with their law enforcement, but if ever that happens and I'm maltreated, I will show those nuisances pepper.

Suck up to Oprah and the feminisazis? Poppycocks

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?columnist=reilly_rick&id=4727383
Tiger Woods is the first person in history to run his car into a hydrant and set himself on fire.

His reputation is shredded. His once-perfect name has been dragged through more mud than a Nantucket clam digger's boots. A once-spotless life is now an episode of "Cops."



So what now?



First, Oprah Winfrey.



"It has to be Oprah," says the king of Las Vegas publicity men, Dave Kirvin. "If you did a poll on who's most disgusted by this whole mess, it would be women. To win over those women, you need to win over Oprah. You win over Oprah, you win over America."



Once he's on Oprah's couch, he says this:



"To my wife, to my kids, to my family, to my friends, to my fans, I am so sorry. You believed in me. You looked up to me. You thought I was different, and I let you down. I'm ashamed of myself. My mom is ashamed of me. I'm sure my dad would be ashamed of me. I'm an idiot." Then he has to go full Tebow: "From this day forward, you will never see somebody work harder, 24 hours a day, to win back your trust."



It has to be next week and no later, because every day the British tabloids have him sleeping with everybody but the Page 3 girl. "The sooner he makes his public act of contrition, the sooner he takes the oxygen out of the story," Kirvin says.



Second, he needs to shut down his public life.

He needs to skip San Diego, skip the Masters, maybe even skip the U.S. Open. When your house is rubble, you don't go play the Buick Open. Tiger needs to prove to his wife, Elin, sponsors and fans that morality is more important than majors.

Third, he needs to clean house. If he wants to keep his wife, he has to get a new agent, a new caddie and some new friends. It's hard to believe all this went on without their help or knowledge. How can she see them as anything but enablers?



Fourth, he needs to freeze his corporate sponsors before they freeze him. He needs to tell them, "I'm not doing any ads or taking any payment until I can again prove myself worthy of your products. I'm sorry I've let you down. It won't happen again."



Fifth, he needs to write his Tiger Woods Learning Center a check for $5 million with a note that says, "Keep studying hard. I'll be back to help you fundraise in 2011."



He needs sincerity and commitment and honor now because he might have just ruined a lot of lives, maybe even his own.



He needs transparency. Let us into your life a little. Do the "A week on the road with Tiger" story. Give a home interview once in a while. Let people check in the closets and under the bed. Prove to the world you've changed. Because "no comment" and three security guards are only going to make people suspicious.



Sixth, a few manners wouldn't kill him. No more terrible-twos temper. No more swearing. No more throwing clubs. And instead of pulling his signature blow-by move on the hundreds of autograph seekers waiting for him after every round, stop and sign for 15 minutes. Hasn't hurt Phil Mickelson any.



This fall is straight out of the Book of Wallenda. Not so much because his bottom was so low, but because his top was so high. His image, his likability, his hero factor were in the clouds. He was the kid with the 10,000-watt smile from the public golf course -- he brought golf to people of color all over the world. He was the great black hope of the game who made good.

A golfer? With two young kids at home? Alleged to have had affairs with numerous women? The best Player becoming the biggest Player? Overnight? Unthinkable!



Seventh, he has to return to the Tour and take the ridicule he has coming. He'll feel as though he's being paraded down Main Street, naked, in a glass box. Women will be wearing TIGER, YOU FORGOT ME T-shirts. Guys will be holding ELIN OVERCLUBBED signs. Babes will be hollering, "Hey, Tiger! I took my name off my voice mail like you said!"



He can shoot 42 over par; he just has to get through it. Then he has to play in a major, maybe the British at St. Andrews, where he won last time. And then he has to start winning again.



"There's four steps to getting past this in the public eye," Kirvin says. "First tournament. First major. First tournament victory. First major victory. Only then will the media let us get over this. The public will forgive him. They won't ever forget, but they'll forgive."



He'll come out of this as an even better player, if that's possible. The golf course will be the one place where he can go to forget, and he will want to forget constantly. Where he once spent six hours on the range, he will spend eight. Where he once had the will of 10 men, he will have the will of 100. He will win again -- win huge -- and people will call it a comeback.



But it won't be a comeback. He never lost his game. He only lost his mind.

Naija police no get balls na.

[flash=400,330]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXWb-n5vcyI[/flash]
_{kobe's big balls dance}

Yeah I definitely have a change of mind. Shiet I'd hit that.

They grow wings larger than an airplane's.

Ohhhhhhhh yesssss it does.  Ohhhhh yes, absolutely.

Significantly worsse.

mama-gee:

Lol hey don't be angry that's a valid question. Infertile women usually consider that route when faced with difficultie in their marriages.

ibkaye:

I guess I'm not sleeping tonight

lay off the coffee.

pwetme, you are cold. you were supposed to help me up.

kunbee go and fetch water

Kunbee:

Shey u didnt miss me

miss what? ponmo lips. . .
maybe next year

Pweety4me:

Stab urself 4 dat didn't u know that i am using rubber lips. . .

I meant to quote this.


Faints!

ewww it's ibukunoluwapo

Kunbee:

Hmmmmm C2 and pweety

gbefila

patwhizkid:

When on earth iz my mum gon' get me my christmas clothes na? It'z 10th already o.

disgusted

slap yourself for that. don't you know i didn't brush my mouth.

Not bad for an old-timer

Lol

aya come and make me

Pweety4me:

^Ehmm sorry did u just call my name?

Lol it wasn't you o. That's a funny coincidence sha, now that you mentioned it.
Peewee almost rhymes with pweetymee. Pele

Some MILFs don't have that many loose tissues hanging about.

She's bored.

Lol

You know I smuv you too peewee.

Even nincompoops are now granted access to computers.
No wonder they feel more important than they actually are.
What won't we see . Dances and hisses

Whine and moan and whine and moan and whine and moan and whine and moan and whine and moan and whine

Frail as furck

omar22:


1 Barack Obama
2 The Twitter Guys, Jack Dorsey and Biz Stone
3 Jim Cramer
4 The Charter 08 authors
5 Tzipi Livni
6 Bernie Madoff
7 Arianna Huffington
8 Pope Benedict XVI
9 Rain
10 George W. Bush
11 Katie Stam
12 Alex Rodriguez
13 M.I.A.
14 Prince
15 Bill O'Reilly
16 Joaquin Phoenix
17 David Plouffe
18 Rahm Emanuel
19 Dov Charney
20 Mark Cuban
21 Eric Holder
22 Odell Barnes
23 Rod Blagojevich
24 The Pregnant Man: Thomas Beatie
25 Roland Burris
26 Stephen Colbert
27 Sarah Palin
28 The Jonas Brothers
29 Britney Spears
30 Miley Cyrus
31 Angelina Jolie
32 John McCain
33 Hillary Clinton
34 Ron Paul
35 Mike Huckabee
36 Arnold Schwarzenegger
37 Ratan Tata
38 Oprah Winfrey
39 Tina Fey
40 Michelle Obama
41 Katie Couric
42 Michael Phelps
43 Kobe Bryant
44 Lil' Wayne
45 Mukesh Ambani
46 Ron Bloom
47 Bill Gross
48 Sheikh Ahmed bin Zayed Al Nahyan
49 Warren Buffett
50 Carlos Slim
51 T. Boone Pickens
52 Ram Charan
53 Neel Kashkari
54 James Lockhart
55 Jamie Dimon
56 Michael Duke
57 Ken Lewis
58 manliness Kovacevich
59 Sheila Bair
60 Charlie Gasparino
61 Tim Geithner
62 Meredith Whitney
63 General Petraeus
64 Abdul Rahman al-Rashed
65 Michelle Rhee
66 Nancy Pelosi
67 Elizabeth Warren
68 Gordon Brown
69 Boris Johnson
70 Benjamin Netanyahu
71 Asif Ali Zardari
72 Ashfaq Pervez Kayani
73 Morgan Tsvangirai
74 Robert Mugabe
75 Paul Kagame
76 Richard Kelly
77 Alexander Lebedev
78 Ronnie Screwvala
79 Steve Jobs
80 Jeff Kindler
81 Nouriel Roubini
82 Yochiro Nambu
83 Stephan Schuster and Webb Miller
84 Linda Avey and Anne Wojcicki
85 Douglas Melton
86 Nicholas Christakis
87 Nate Silver
88 Rowan Williams
89 Paul Krugman
90 Dr. Alain Carpentier
91 Doris A. Taylor
92 Roland Fryer
93 Steven Chu
94 Connie Hedegaard
95 Jon Favreau
96 Rachel Maddow
97 Rush Limbaugh
98 Kate Winslet
99 Seth MacFarlane
100 Damien Hirst
101 William Kentridge
102 Danny Boyle
103 Gustavo Dudamel
104 Renzo Piano
105 Ricky Gervais
106 Dan Barber
107 Will Wright
108 Hugh Jackman
109 Clint Eastwood
110 Roberto Saviano
111 Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger III
112 Jeff Bezos
113 Rick Warren
114 Patrick Swayze
115 Tiger Woods
116 Danica Patrick
117 Manny Pacquiao
118 Jessica Jackley
119 Rafael Nadal
120 Dalai Lama
121 Vladimir Putin
122 Hu Jintao
123 Jacob Zuma
124 Anwar Ibrahim
125 Ben Bernanke
126 Muqtada al-Sadr
127 Robert Gates
128 Sonia Gandhi
129 Baitullah Mehsud
130 Evo Morales
131 Ma Ying-jeou
132 Brad Pitt
133 Lance Armstrong
134 Kaká
135 Sheik Mohammed al-Maktoum
136 Yoani Sénchez
137 Madeeha Hasan Odhaib
138 Tony Blair
139 Aung San Suu Kyi
140 George Mitchell
141 Craig Venter
142 Larry Brilliant
143 Jeff Han
144 Nancy Brinker
145 Peter Pronovost
146 Eric Chivian and Richard Cizik
147 Mary Lou Jepsen
148 Mark Zuckerberg
149 Tyler Perry
150 Khaled Hosseini
151 Rem Koolhaas
152 Judd Apatow
153 George Clooney
154 Suze Orman
155 Sister Mary Scullion
156 Stephenie Meyer
157 Takashi Murakami
158 Indra Nooyi
159 Ali al-Naimi
160 Rupert Murdoch
161 John Chambers
162 Jay Adelson
163 Steve Ballmer
164 Prince Alwaleed bin Talal
165 Jeffrey Immelt
166 Tom Ford
167 Lloyd Blankfein
168 Mo Ibrahim
169 Ted Kennedy
170 Nadya (Octomom) Suleman
171 Tom Hanks
172 Elizabeth Diller and Ricardo Scofidio
173 The View
174 Jay Leno
175 Dan Houser
176 Angela Merkel
177 Shigeru Miyamoto
178 Leonard Abess
179 Kevin Rudd
180 Stella McCartney
181 Zac Efron
182 Eric Cantor
183 Newt Gingrich
184 Jeff Kinney
185 Tom Dart
186 Sam Zell
187 David McKiernan
188 Ryan Schreiber
189 Michael Rapino
190 Jonathan Krohn
191 T-Pain
192 Tucker Max
193 Jon Stewart
194 Taylor Swift
195 moot
196 Gamal Mubarak
197 Kanye West
198 Matthew Weiner
199 Malcolm Gladwell
200 Cory Booker
201 John Boehner
202 Richard H. Thaler and Cass R. Sunstein


I cant see her name

LOL don't mind that nigga. He must have been smoking the best hookah ever made. Furcking LOL

Ebonyeyes:

Babes you are not alone oh, you are right, what I see around me is frightening. We might have to invest and buy a couple or 10 cats

by their fears and their words shall ye identify them.

will manage Angola, Ghana, Sierra-Leone

Pseudonymous communication is the life of the internet.

SeanT21:

Hahah. How can i forget that name?? Its stuck in my mind 4ever.

Lol very cute.
Haven't heard from you for sometime. How's it hanging? Should catch up sometime.

A bad habbit.

Not all that bad. It's good for entertainment. Plus, it increases your learning.