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................................................................................."Good morning Jesus Good morning lord.. I know you come from heaven above"...we all sang to the morning devotion..
It was a full house ... It sure was gon' be fun or so I thought...
After devotion I had ma chores and breakfast...after those what next.....
The Streets ofcourse

I headed to the street gym joint to meet junior... I was surprised to see Nonso also... That dude hated working out his favorite quote was 'dangote no get 6 packs' and we would always laugh at his broke ass...
"You know say if you no get money you gats package... No wowi wen I'm done looking like Idris elba I'll bleep ur sister".....He said.
"when you are done looking like Johnny bravo yu mean." I said as we laughed histerically..

A few minutes later a Mercedes Benz G-wagon pulled up in front of Nonso's house...
We saw his sister highlighting from the vehicle ...
Wearing a very short purple gown, Dayum she looked so enticing...waving at someone in the car. (someone who we didn't see cos of the cars tinted windscreens) ...
"Nonso no be your sis be that?" I asked suprised.. 'I never knew she carried such heavyweights, she looked so innocent before I left for school..well people change..' I thought
"Nonso your sis make brain o" ...junior added...
Every boy's gaze there was on her... All eyes on her..
"Foolz the more you look the less you see ;the more you long for it the farther you are from getting it... My point exactly is...Keep off my sis"...he warned
We agreed and went back to out working out...

Moments later i saw a familiar figure far off...
"Nonso no be your babe be that?" I informed him..
They all looked up to see which of the babes I was talking about..
"Yeeeh!! Na naomi o...Sam, junior you remember that babe wey I ter you say lend me 80k?....well that's her"...he said dejectedly
"Hello boys" she said waiving at us...
"hey baby afa nw!" we replied..
"can I steal your friend here for a couple of minutes?"... We knew this wasn't going to end well but we had no choice...
They walked in.... She was squeezing Nonso's shirt embarrassingly ...
A Few minutes we saw her bursting out of his house walking away angrily...and Nonso also ran out on his knees trying to beg her...
Seeing how she ignored him..We knew Gobe was around the corner..
He walked back in with shame and worry...
Me and junior rushed in to go reason a way out ...
We ran into the house only to see nonso lying on his couch reading the ceilings...
"Guy which level na?" I asked
"ol boy aw your matter be??" junior said..
"Guy e no smile o... The girl dey say if she don't get her money in three days say she go suprise me o" Nonso said almost crying...
"You mean to tellme that that small girl threatened you"...junior exclaimed obviously angry..
"oga...calm down I know that girl she fit kill three of us and nothing go happen"...said Nonso which shut us up.
"so what we need now is a solution" Nonso continued... He said with himself and junior looking at me like they were expecting the answer from me...
"why una dey look me like that na?" I said..
"shebi na you dey always claim Pentium 6 brain na...oya boot am make hin solve am for us"...junior explained..

I thought hard for almost an hour but nothing came forth..I was already frustrated and was about giving up when I felt a fork poking me by the side of my neck... Looked left to see the ever present Bros D...
"Guy free me now...abi my life neva taya you"...I said angrily.
"ogbeni bone that side...look make I give you line.."he whispered the idea to my hearings ...
"Woah brilliant idea"....I thought..."Bros D I swear na you sure pass"...I said to him happily...

I looked at my expectant homies....
"Guys how about blackmail?"...I said which shot them up from their seats...
"Blackmail...?? Blackmail who??" Nonso said
"Yes blackmail who??..." junior added....
Ermmmm......
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Next episode...una go know who we blackmail....

Happy new year folks!!

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Silence occupied the hall once more...
"we are here to make sure that those that break the school's rules shouldn't go unpunished, even though we try to make our judgement fair enough...but justice must prevail.." he gave his last speech of the case..
He continued
"we expect every student to obey the rules of the school... But these students before us has broken some of them"... He said to my astonishment..
"if sinners aren't gonna go unpunished then I'm sure to receive something from them" I thought while hoping for the best.
"Mr ogunwola Samuel and John eragbai, with the power bestowed on this committee... We hereby...........SUSPEND YOU FOR 3MONTHS!!"

I jumped for joy on hearing this, John wore a sad face...I looked at him and tried explaining things to him... "dude a typical semester in this school runs for 4 months (thanks to one strike or the other) so if we are suspended for 3months we are still going to write the exam and maybe some tests"...I told the dumbas's, his frown turned to tears of joy...
"well with a reputation of expulsion..3months suspension is an A for me"...I thought...

I danced out the hall in excitement..ignoring eniola like she didnt exist... I learnt a couple of lessons while in the court yard though...
1* Cupid na Bast'ard... 2* trust no one (sounds so cliche ryt! But its the truth). 3* confidence and your instincts helps a lot when you don't have time to plan. 4* never listen to bros D's advice 5* plan better next time...

I walked out of the court yard a better man... 3months unofficial holiday isn't gonna be so bad afterall...
With Money in the bank... My 3months is sure gonna be fun.. Well first things first...its hollz I'm going back to my Hood........IKOTUN here I come... #swerve!!!
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"Woh!! Bros we don dey last bus stop o!!"
I woke up only to see our bus stopping in front of synagogue...
"Shio!! Na last bus stop be this?? see as ikotun stee far for front"...I shouted at him and so were the other passengers.
"we pay our money complete ...why can't you carry us complete"...a passengers yelled!!

*everybody pauses and I'm facing the camera*
"well welcome to my hood o...eerbody wan dey form smart... If you compromise, you'll be cheated!!... Welcome to ikotun the land that houses the most talent in Nigeria.....Oya producer press play na!!" I said as everything and everybody continues....

"Woh them no born una well...you must carry us reach round about o" a fat woman shouted...
"madam shey na because I no collect money for 2 people from your hand" he said as everybody laughed hard!!
"YA mama!!" was all she could say as she looked away angrily...

The driver took us to the roundabout... As protested by the passengers...
I highlighted from the bus...
"Ah home sweet home" I said dropping my luggage and trying to breath in deeply...*breaths in deeply* *breaths out deeply*..
The smell of weed welcomed my lungs...
I shook my head
"ikotun would always be ikotun" I said to myself smiling..
I couldn't wait to see nonso (oh I forgot... Nonso left school as soon as he was through with his papers...he missed ikotun and so did I), couldn't wait to see junior and cos I was sure we had adventures ahead of us throughout the holiday...

"abogunloko " I said stopping a bike...

YEEH.... BABOO!!! I heard someone shout from a shop close to gafaru street(a street very close to my abogunloko)...
I looked back only to find junior coming out of a shop. I suspected he went for his operations there... "WE GET GIST o BRO" he shouted as my bike sped off.... "no lele we go......" before I could finish my sentence I heard someone shouting...
"HEY Mr U NEVA PAY ME MY MONEY O!!" I heard turning back to see the shop owner shouting at junior.
"Chai Junior would always be junior" I said to myself shaking my head....

I swear na Ikotun trips sweet pass ....preparing my mind for the adventures ahead...
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NOTE: this story na 40%fiction 60%Real life...so don't believe everything you read here... Thanks.....

Ehen...
And please if you know you love this story let's preach its gospel...post its link and market it on almost every thread you visit... Thanks in advance...
You guys are the best...
*hugs...ermm..well hugs no one in particular*
*Hugs the thread*
*Grabs my wallet and heads out to get my bread and beans at mama togo Syd*

I'm out!!

Thanks all...

Well its sure to get better and better along the line......or so I'm thinking...

By God's grace we'll get there...


Make I reason update sef!!! :/

Yall should check out ma story in my signature...

Nd don't forget tu comment!!

tosin7a: Guy e b lyk say dm go suspend u niyen..i guess so..oya keep it comin...i wan go eat bread nd beans 4 mama togo plc..update b4 i come o or else....

Maybe or maybe not they'll suspend me...nd maybe I'll update maybe I won't update ..


MAYBE // MAYBE NOT

@gogettermd... Check your box...I've dm you!!

@hollajay...I hope u like it...

I dey come make I go market my story for other threads!!

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who I saw made me hate love, (that's why I said if cupid wan reason my matter I go castrate am...I swear!!). The person had my trust; I shared all my secrets with this person...I felt betrayed.

"Good morning judges, The committee and the jury....I'm eniola Badmus 200L accounting..." she said.

"Ah eyin Omo mi len se eleyi... AMA pade ni department(ah so its even my children that's all involved in this... we'll meet in our department)"
a prof said.

I couldn't understand how I was feeling at that moment...I felt heartbroken, weak, angry, dissapointed and pity....Pity?? Yes! Pity!! I felt pity for my self...why?? For always making the wrong choices...

She stole a glance at me. All I saw in her eyes was revenge... Then I knew what it was all about... Maybe she had a hand in almost all my fu'ckups here in school...
"Sir I'm here to testify"....
"Go ahead my child"... Instructed the judges..

"well I'm his girlfriend... Or would I saw I was his girlfriend... John called him offering him the idea of stealing and reselling the questions... Which he agreed..." ....she said
They all looked at her suprised... "so how did you know he actually stole the questions??"...they asked..
"well I'm with a copy here"...she said
An idea popped into my head... I laughed as hard as I could...
"So you intend bringing a question paper from an already concluded exam as an exhibit right?? How shallow!!!" I said convinvingly..

The judges looked at themselves confused...
"what's your proof that this actual paper you are holding is stolen..." they asked.
This is the point where its a 50/50 chance... If she proves it I'm done , if she doesn't then I've still got this case on lock.

"Ermmm I took it from his room"....she stupidly said... Well it was true she did take it from my room cos I knew I was one paper short..

"And you expect us to simply believe that??" ...a judge said...
"Now please if you've got no evidence would you excuse ......"
Before the judge could finish his sentence she replied...
"I've got a candid evidence"....she shouted..
"well let's see it"... The judges instructed..
"well sir actually they don't see it... They hear it"...she said smiling devilishly while stealing a glance at me...

YEEH Gobe!!! I don die....I thought
*Slow motion* she brings out her blackberry curve 4... And walks to the Public-address-system engineer... gives him the phone to play a certain file... Then she returns to her stand...

The air conditioner was working perfectly but I was sweating more than ....ermm...ehh..well..I dunno jhor..... My clothes were soaked like I just left the pool...
The engineer plays the track...
The judges looked around confused, anger was written all over their faces......
"ooh baby!! I'm putting my d'ick in your pussy, lick my balls ...ooooh!! You are sweet girl..."I heard my voice...
I smiled it was one of those sex chat we had... Thinking she lost... Bros D quickly reminded me that it might have being a mistake....

She walked over there ...played other files...they were either some singing she recorded herself doing or my voice advocating erotic activities..

I remembered that I was with her memory card...
I smiled... "wind blow fowl ynash no open.......... Well because fowl wear boxers "...I thought...

"WOULD YOU GET OUT OF HERE YOUNG WOMAN....YOU SHOULD BE SUSPENDED FOR WHAT YOU JUST DID" A judge shouted angrily...
She walked out ashamed... And I , Happy...

"Officer akunaka...is there any more testifies??" they asked...
Officer EMEKA looked defeated...
"No sir...she was the only one I could get"... He said dejected..

"well that settles it...we'll pass our judgement by 4PM...so everybody let's have a little break shall we"....they announced

I walked out out of the hall... Feeling confident...
As I opened the hall's door...I saw enny down the hall way..."well she has some explaining to do" I thought.... I ran till I caught up with her... She was about talking the next door when I caught up with her... I grabbed her arm... She turned suprised to see me...I looked at her with anger and love in my already wet eyes..

"Eniola why are you doing this to me??....what have I done to deserve all these?? I asked with tears rolling freely down my cheeks
"you took everything away from me... My brother who fed me (cos her father was no more, and her mother still manages what their dad left behind)
He provides for me, he protects me, he cares for me... And you made him go away... Its not that I don't love you but blood is thicker than water you know"...she said almost crying.
"so what we had meant nothing to you...you always wanted my downfall didn't you??"...I asked.
"Sam I still love you so very much...well the plan was just to date you then set you up till you end up the same way my brother did...but *she looks me straight in the eye* Sam love... I fell so inlove with you along the line...and I couldn't help it"...she said crying
I looked at her with pity...
"I can't trust you no more... This maybe another plot to get into my life and start afresh with your plan... *she looked up suddenly like a child caught stealing*...Hmmm yeah!! It may...well I'm walking out now never to return into you life anymore" I said walking out ....
I walked out with a broken...uhhh no..with a grinded heart... I looked back at her only to see her crying helplessly...
I felt pity for her... Though I loved her but a nigg'a gotta use his brain...
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4PM

"Court arise!!" shouted a jury.
We all stood... (Na disciplinary committee dem dey run like court ...shio!! Nothing we no go c 4 dis 9ja)

The judges walked in...we had our seats...
"having heard stories and testimonies from both parties the judges have drawn a judgement.."

There was a deafening silence in the hall...

I looked at John as he looked back...we held our arms in faith and anticipation.... I saw eniola outside the hall looking like a widow..her hair all scattered, looking unkept...near a flower picking its leaving and saying something (cos I saw her mouth move)... "I'm sorry sweety... I just had to do it" I thought... Now facing the judges in anticipation..............

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Make I reply my GF on Whatsapp before she think say I dey follow eniola chat!!

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The prison was dark and smelly as usual... I was sleeping on the floor thinking why I was like this... For a while I was regretting why I par took in the deal... But there's no use crying over spilled alomo...

Officer akunaka came in and....
"psalm! John! Your time as come to face the wrath of the law...*throws clothes at us* put them on, I'm sure you'll be needing them"...
I hurriedly put on the cloth ... It was a typical prisoners apron... A shapeless jacket + a short nicker... We headed out of the prison...
Then thought of my parents came and tears flowed freely from my eyes... "you are not going to the supreme court na, kpatakpata na expel dem go expel you, y you con dey cry like woman na" Bros D said.... With that said if I could slap him I would, I just dismissed him, afterall he put me in this trouble in the first place...

"CASE 28/4658/2014 of Mr Sam& Mr John burglary claims..." Shouted the jury...

I walked in boldly with John behind me... What I saw send shivers down my spine...
I saw 6senior professors (all those baba with white hair and bear-bear) their stare alone can make you admit you killed abacha...

"Young men can please introduce yourself?" a prof instructed.
"Good day sir, I'm Sam ,200l accounting"
"I'm John 200L accounting"

"you are even my students... So you are charged for burglary and question paper theft, what do you have to say about that"...an Old man said..

I stepped up...Freestyle mode activated ..
"Good day to the Committee once more, sir we are not guilty of what they charged us for... Thanks" I said and sit down.

The committee were suprised at my boldness... They looked at themselves in awe ...
"so are you trying to say the security are lying"

"No sir, I answered, they aren't lying about the house being burgled but us being the burglar would be rather called a mistake rather than a lie"...I said with upmost boldness..

"hmmm!! Objection my lords" officer akunaka shouted from his stand..
"objection overulled".... Said one of the prof.

"Sir they've got no proof that we did it..." I further said...

"its a lie, they both confessed to it in the station"...officer akunaka said
"yes!! We did say we were the ones ...but it was out of the torture we received, they were ready to kill us if we didn't admit to it...."
I paused a lil to let it sink.
"My lord!! Order them to provide evidences and witnesses".... I said or rather instructed..

"have you got any evidence??" the committee chairman instructed...

"No sir but we've got a witness".... He said

"what's a witness without an evidence?" ...."you can simply pay or threaten someone to testify in this disciplinary court!!" I objected...

"invited the witness in"... The committee chief instructed...

Officer akunaka looked at me with that crooked smile... I knew he had some shits under his sleeves... But I cared less I knew I had this show on lock or maybe I didn't

"Sam we don die o" John said pulling my cloth for attention....

I turned around to see who walked in.... Who I saw....made tears drop from my eyes, broke my heart, and made me feel betrayed ..

I saw..............
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Make I sleep small I dey come back

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I watched in tears ah he was dragged away... I knew it was only a matter of time till they come for me... The paper was cancelled and everybody were instructed to go home..
Most people knew we did it together I mean me and John, everybody were just sympathetic... I don't get it were they sympathetic for me or John..its quite confusing... My classmates would see me and the next thing I'll hear is...
"ah!! Ehya!! Omase o!!"
"hmmm, ehya!!"
"ehya, be strong my brother, u hear"
I've heard about 6000 ehyas that morning, and it wasn't helping. That was the last time I set my eyes on John until...

One hot afternoon, after a hot round of sex with eniola...I was so exhausted...we were through with exams now...I was feeling secured now on John's issue..."if they wanted to come for me, they would have done that ever since"...

Just then I heard someone banging my door...
Nobody has ever hit my door that hard, ofcourse apart from PINK BOXERS crew...

"Do you wanna bring down my door" I questioned obviously pissed.

"don't worry when you get to the station I'll answer that " anonymous said...

At this point I was confused... "Station? How did he know that I was in? On what charge am I going to the station??" I thought

As I opened the door I saw a familiar face......
Officer akunaka.... Jeez!! WTF!!

"You suprised to see me right?? *laughs...seems I was made to wreck people like you"....he said
"and besides you are invited to the station for questioning"...he added while dragging me out with only my boxers on..he handled me so roughly he almost tore my boxers.. which exposed my dangling tool for all to see...

AT THE STATION---
I was in their interrogation room... A poster saying 'Police is your friend' was hung on the wall..everywhere was covered in dust...the only gadget there was the electric fan, a fan that's as slow as a Golf ½

"hey Mr Psalmurai am I correct"..I wasn't suprised he knew me, my gospel was on almost every lip.. "You are repping ikotun badly... Now with you as a case study people think every ikotun youth is a criminal like you" ...he continued

Staring at him nonchalantly... I've got this nonchalant stare that can make you lose your cool and make you wanna just do something horrible to me... Like one day my pastor was advising me on how to live my life, I was feeding him that stare, he got angry and landed a fat tumbler on my head...well sure its fun getting people mad...or don't you think..

Seeing the stare was already getting at him... He handled it maturely and went straight to the point..."You are under arrest for burglary"...he informed me..with a straight face...
"Really?" I said raising an eye brow...
"do I look like someone who's joking"...he said shouting...
"woah!! Then I must be in big trouble o...abi?" I said...
he just looked at me with fire in his eyes...and walked out...I heard him saying something to someone but couldn't make out what he was saying...

Suddenly an officer so 'ryback looking' walked in and said or rather introduced himself...."Popular psalmurai...they call me the 'pain aflict'...I'm sure we're gonna have fun together don't you"....
He smiled exposing his teeths that looks like that of Dracula,.
At this point, I knew I was Fuc'ked up, Bigtym... After some hours of his powerful ministrations... I was seeing myself in a rap battle with 2pac, Nate dogg, proof and biggie...but his venom-like saliva brought me back to life, My face has added weight significantly... My eyes were half-closed like I had Apollo...my cheeks were far bigger than my buttocks now... And my torn lips looked like that of Demba Ba !!!

As I looked up... I saw someone with a similar facial properties... But while mine was fresh his' seem to have been weeks old... I knew I had seen the face somewhere... I tried placing where I saw the face...one more look at his face I also saw him looking at me like he was also trying to identify me... Pain aflict laughed and was like
"lemme save yall the stress...Sam meet John, John- Sam!!" he introduced us...
We were suprised on how changed we were... And pain-aflict was still laughing ...well the foo'l dey laugh at his handwork...that I was sure of!!

"so why am I here, you still haven't told me where I burgled"..I spat angrily..
"baby sharap there... No be you and John kizzle (steal) those question papers abi?" well that's just the confirmation that I needed... I look at John ...he wore that look that's saying 'I don taya sef make una kuku kill me'....

As we were marched out of the interrogation room into the prison... We were taken to the counter to write a statement... Just the Eniola walked in still crying (cos she was crying when I left home) ... Then she looked at the officer behind us and asked...
"sir I'm looking for psalmurai...he was brought in here a couple of hours ago"...she said
The officer was busy laughing and so was John...
"psalm don do free facial surgery o" he joked!!
Then it dawned on her.... The 'demba BA' looking dry chested, Apollo eyed boy was her darling Sam...
"How did your face change so much in such a short time?" she asked crying..
I just pointed at 'pain-aflict' in the far corner...
"oh!!" that was all she could say...
"well that explains it all" she continued...

"oya money for visitation." the officer inquired streching his hands....
"ehhh!! Dem dey pay to come see people again... Hin be wizkid??"...eniola said suprised...
"Fool these ones pass wizkid o"..." Them be federal guests as you see them so, "...The officer said laughing...
With that said, I just started preparing my mind for my new home which is either gonna be....AGODI or KIRIKIRI housing estate
Officer akunaka showed up....and
"officer take them inside, they are meeting the disciplinary committee tommorow"....
When I heard that, I knew my admission was already in shreds...."fuckit" I said crying...

WAS I EXPELLED?? WHAT WAS THE OUTCOME OF THE MEETING WITH THE COMMITTEE?? DID I GET TO COME OUT OF THIS??... You'll get to knoow in the next update...
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Make I crash... Idc

Phinity318: @OP abeg no vex for me ooo,nice tory u got over here, abeg wettin ds slang "alaye"mean?

Alaye ---- bad guy, u digg??

hakunajay: According to you, your friend's arrsse was 'busted'. then yours too? You must be a gay!!!
And you will do quite fine without the mockery of the angel part.

Dude m as straight as 6 o'clock.......loving pussy since 1809 ...this story is just a work of my BEAUTIFUL MIND... Though I used the real name of my peeps buh its purely fictional.... Still as straight as a Nepa pole man !!

@funlover naaah... Expulsion would do

@denlightened awww thnkx ....

@valdes00 no ves o... Na part of the art b dat...

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We were confused...
We were about removing the mask...when I sighted a tree nearby... I didn't need a priest to tell me that the tree was my excape route...
I jumped from the rooftop to the tree..sliding down to the ground...
John seeing me also acted fast trying to escape he jumped....but the security man wasn't gonna let two of us escape that way... He shot at John... ''ARGHH!!'' John was hit...
Seeing he was only hit on the leg the security personnel got angry and shot continuously at us... But we were lucky to get away...

When we got home I tried cleaning up his wound... And when it was morning I rushed him to the chemist for some first aid..
They removed the bullet and treated it for him..

THE EXAM DAY:
We reported at the exam hall around 10am cos we had paper around 11....
I noticed that there were more security men around than usual...but I didn't careless...
I was chilling on hundred of thousands already within 2weeks... Now that's some fast money...
I sighted John...his leg has improved ...he no longer uses his couches....

I sighted some Mopol officers then I knew something was up... I'd totally forgotten bout our little action film 2weeks ago...
The security dudes were whispering to each other...Something was definitely up!!

11am:
HEY YALL!! ...form a single file please....shouted a mopol...we were surrounded by mobile policemen...

Then they started searching...well its a regular procedure for them to search everybody....

When it was John's turn...they looked quizzing at him...
"you where's the key the HOD gave you?"...a security man asked...
"I've misplaced it..."
"when?" they asked...
"two weeks ago".... He answered
Then I remember.........
We were on our way home running... I was carrying John so that we could move faster...
"wait!! Wait!! Wait!! Sam...I've misplaced the key"
I was worried "when last did you see it".... Ermm I'm sure it was with me on the rooftop!!
"oooh!! I'm sure you misplaced it on the tree..."...
"yeah yeah!! Maybe"...

Then it dawned on me that he dropped the key on the rooftop...jeez!! we've graduated!!!
Before John could gave an explanation...an officer came and searched his legs....everybody was confused, about what he was trying to do...
Until...
"YES!! Its him...see the bullet wound..." he said..
Fuckit!!! Its done!! we're busted...I admitted..

I watched in tears as John was dragged away...
They were beating him mercilessly...
"where's your partner?? Where's your partner"...the mopol asked while dragging him into their van...
WAS I CAUGHT?? WAS HE EXPELLED?? WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.....find out in the next episode of this series!!
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We met at an eatery... To discuss about the plan and our profit... We decided to strike on a Friday night..when they'll have left the office for the mosque or their homes..

The day came faster than expected... We met in a lecture theatre as planned...
"Guy now is the time o"... I said
"Dude make we pray"... John advised..
'Shio pray?? Shey u think say God go look ur side?'... I'm a realist I always face the truth, whether ugly or beautiful...so praying in a scenario like this is a waste of time..
Well it seems God was against us...cos we left traces(mistakes) here nd there..

We Broke in, we didn't get a key... I'm sure the security man should have been alerted by that...
Well we raided a couple of offices successfully gathering our merchandise...

But if God be against you who'll be for you... The security ma eventually came looking for us...
"who goes there"? He asked..
"who goes there?" He asked for the second time..

On hearing this we were scared to death, we never planned of getting busted (atleast if we did we would have known what to do by now)..
The security man started raiding every office opened... There's 8 offices in that building...8 different lecturers' office ..

I must say the security man was a smart one... Cos he knew we would start from the top floor incase of any danger... He checked the groundfloor's office to be sure of his theory and it was confirmed...the ground floor's offices were untouched....

We were hearing footsteps climbing the stairs...
I whistled to alert John, but the slow'poke didn't get my signal..
...The Footsteps were getting closer, I had to run into the office from the door post that I was..
"John...E don be o...the security is coming after us" ...
He hurriedly carried the Questions...and darted for the exit...

The security man hearing loud footsteps upstairs ran after us...it was a hot chase... We ran to the top floor..I was leading while John was following.. He was right behind us... Shooting after us!!
"John get down--get down!!" I shouted
as I threw a flower vase at him...which he shot to pieces...We were so scared, but we dare not stop running...we saw another door leading somewhere we weren't sure of where it was leading us to but we just had to keep moving ...Behold, the door led to the roof...the roof is decked.... He ran to the far corner, while he also followed us...

"Hands Up!!, stop there Or I shoot!!"
We had no choice but to stop where we were!!
We were busted or so I thought.
"na una dey theif things for this building abi?? Na una wan make me lose my job abi??...Thank God say I don catch una!! He said smiling...

He pointed a Torch to our face...but we were wearing a clothed mask...
"oya remove the mask..." he ordered...
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I dey come make I go market!!

GogetterMD: Dude let's make a tv series

Urmmm... R u serious bout this...

fijiano202: rubbish lol,pure rubbish

... Would comeup with something better...

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Exams were fast approaching and I could count how many times I've been to class... If my attendance were airtime is won't be able to call a friend for more than a minute. Likewise was it also for Nonso... We hardly go to classes all we do is straph, get high, play videogames and eat!
I know you'll be asking 'shebi he said he can send Mtn-Mtn msg with his GP'...yes la I can..100Level was a repetition of what I did in secondary school and since I was the semi-brilliant Type I was good to go...

"Guy aw dis exam go be now"? ...Nonso asked.
"Omo boy ..ah no know o...we go do am nhoni"...I answered.
RING!! RING!! RING!!
My phone rang...
I looked at the phone and saw that it was my class rep. Calling,I smiled cos I knew a way has presented itself

"hey alaye wetin dey nw?" I greeted
"Boss mi I dey like dele o" he answered
"anything for your boy?"....
"Ehn actually yeah, question paper dey up for grabs"... Said my Class rep. (whose name is John).
Bros D showed up..."You see, always dey trust me... You know say I bring more light into ur life than NEPA!!" he bragged
"ah John, how much that one go be now and how many courses?"...I asked
"its not yet out"
I was confused now...'what does he mean by that'..I thought
"but you said its up for grabs na?" I asked..
"yeah it is....woh look I want both of us to sneak into some lecturers office to get the questions...what do you think"...He proposed..
Bros D (demon) and the angel appeared infront of me almost immediately ...
"Guy... No dull o... This is your chance to pass without sweat!... If you like let am pass you... Na F9 you go use bath...u go see!" Bros D adviced
"Sam, what if you get caught? Na expulsion b dat o..." Angel said. I was suprised to hear angel speak pidgin...'shey kingjames English don finish for hin mouth'
John sensing I was confused at the decision...continued...
"we'll make almost 200k each if we pull this through o"
"Shiiiiit!! That settles it ...I'M IN!!!" I exclaimed

We met at an eatery to plan the next line of action...they say 'if you fail to plan you plan to fail'
"This is gon b as easy as taking candy from a baby" ...I thought
WAS IT GONNA BE THAT SIMPLE?? DID WE GET CAUGHT?? DID WE SUCCEED?? Get the answers to that in my next update.....
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Make I update b4 battery die!!
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The knock on the door was getting louder... Its more than a knock... It sounded like they were hitting my doors with a sledge hammer...assuming it was a wooden door it should have been spoilt by now...

GBOOM!! GBOOM!! GBOOM!!

Me and my babe (or should I say babe-to-be) were so frightened , holding eachother in fear..
Eventually the door gave way, and 5 hefty men in pink (funny looking crew ) entered into my room, though 2 were at the door post..
I was so scared, Enny was already in tears, grabbing me from behind..

'NA YOU DEM DEY CALL PSALMURAI ABI?'...One of them barked!!
'Ye...Yes...Yess Nna me b.........'
Before I could finish my sentence I was expecting a mopol-grade slap..
.but I was surprised at what they did instead..
They all jumped on me... like a lion to an antelope..The one who spoke tore open my shirt...Some were struggling with my Pants, the others were kissing me roughly...
'shio...which kin rugged men be this?...I thought..
Like he was reading my mind...he withdraw from my pants and...
'we are the PINK-BOXERS the only rugged gay cult in Nigeria'...
'I was like GAY CREW'...I was about to laugh when I felt a tongue on Broda JT...
It felt good in a funny way...
Meanwhile I was hearing moans from the other part of the room...
'shebi dem b gay..why dem dey rape my babe na'...I thought angrily still struggling to set myself free..
I looked up to see eniola self-servicing, and moaning aloud..
'Yeeeh!! So na perve'rt I wan marry sef?...na me dem dey Bleep na she dey moan...na wa o'
I'm sure my neighbors hears my shout for help... but none came out to help... (its a cold world o )
They all over powered me and had their way...till it was morning... My as'shole never remained the same!!

Dad called me the second day to inform me that bro Wale (point1) and his gang has been arrested... Mtchewww old news!! I wanted to tell him what happened yesterday's night... But I was so ashamed to talk, besides if I did tell him, there's nothing he'll do and it won't change anything..

We started dating afterwards I mean me and eniola, we were really in love but for different reasons I must say... She loved me cos, she'd gotten what most girls around want..I.e the title "Psalm's babe"- and I loved her cos she wasn't stingy...she's a free giver and I received it with joy *winks--u knw wat I mean*...
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@Collizo4sky thanks... The strEet flows in my veins..

@davidsonical ...places plenty where boys dey get wasted... For our hostel we dey call our own place shrine!!

@funlover ...you no go ves for me nii...ah don over chop yester nyt... The eBa strong die lol!!
Nd NEPA... Made sure my BB dried up!!

@demsid.... coooool... I no knw aw we go do am o... Cos m always really-really busy as from 7PM!! Drop ur # I go contact u!!

@ghostreaders... I dey always c you!! But why una too like #GhostMode na?? Well I appreciate you ghostmoding my thread...( SAY NO TO GHOSTMODE ) <--- that's the movement bby...

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Who's this giving me missed calls like say its free... Picked up my blackberry torch to discover who the person was... Was so suprised to see the caller... Eniola.. Well it wasn't only eniola... My dad, and junior one call each...

Wondering why she called, I call back...
A tiny sweet voice answered from the other end..
'Hello Sam'...she answered
'Hey hello baby'...I answered.
'I'm sorry for hwat happened this morning'
'what happened this morning?'....I asked confused
'I'm sorry bout your dismissal Frm the class this morning'...'you know I caused it, if we weren't talking you would have been listening'..
'wait!! Na true o!! Y dis girl dey always put me in problem' ..I thought.
We talked for a while and she agreed to come over in about an hour time.
She was almost an hour late... And I thought she was posting me..well I cared less.
I was outside dragging my joint (blawing ma kus'h)
Suddenly my phone rang. I looked at the screen..it was eniola..
'Hey bby I'm in the front of your hostel'...she said.
I headed outta my shrine...to see the most beautiful living thing under heaven... Muna would be jealous if she sets eyes on this young woman.

She wore a sky-blue gown.. .her figure was full and thick, she's the definition of being sexy.. Her bosoms were full, her hips weren't lying... She's mercy Johnson...well with a far prettier face.

I welcomed her, we embraced...we headed for my room... I was proud of my property (atleast I had plans of aquiring that land ) all em code'ine boys were sitting in our veranda,
'Eeeh SAM baba!!, Psalmurai boss mi!! Filled the air...
I was feeling myself so much, I missed my step and fell... ( I wasn't ashamed, I was in the midst of my guys, and eniola was used to seeing my fuckup).. She helped me up...nd I dashed into my room leaving her behind (I didn't know why I did that)
Woah!! Nice place you've got here...she commented.
'yeah! Yeah! Tell me something I don't know,
She giggled..
My room was painted sky blue, I've got a 21 inches LED TV, an airconditioner and a bed as tall as aki
'so what can I offer you' I asked...
'I want bread and ewedu'...she joked..
I brought her a wine for her..

We talked for a while and it was getting late..almost 8PM ...then I knew she was gonna spend the night..we cuddled till we fell asleep..
Then Bros D showed up (tha demon) on my left shoulder ''see fresh babe for your front dulling boy...if you like no do anything...I go make sure say you turn gay fool!!'' The angel showed up ''Sam don't do it, if you do it!!! If you do it...!!, you won't see what you are looking for''...Bros D my trusted advisor always puts me in trouble...
Woh make I follow angel for once...

I slept , we cuddled till morning but bros JT wanted more, (that guy is no dey respect himself sometimes) ..we were sleeping peacefully until someone started banging my room's door!!
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I need ur feedback on this update...

hero10: how i wish bro... na school i wan go do new year.... we fit hook up later

Me sef go launchout b4 3rd of Jan.

Na wa o !! No comments @all...

This is nt encouraging...



Shey I no go stop dis story like this...
Nd d story has nt even started yet!!

(

*sighs

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'Hey Hello'...she said, waving!!
I couldn't read my emotions... Was it fear, hatred, anger, lust (dem no born cupid well to shoot me arrow ), or surprise...eerthang came at the sametime...
Seeing I was carried away by here beauty AGAIN!! She smiled, breathed in and...
'Sam I'm sorry for what my brother did to you, I really am'...he pleaded with puppy eyes..
(there's no way under heaven that I wasn't gonna fall for that)...
'he's in the mopol's custody now' she said almost crying...I felt sorry for her and happy for myself.
'Its okay... Its in the past now...let's face the future'...
She hugged me tight... Feeling the bosoms, sending understandable signals to my brains..

Well for the record.. I school in lautech, 200L accounting...we chatted a little and I collected her number, promissing to call her after class.

'HEY YOU!! What did I say last?' Mrs okoso our Gns lecturer inquired..
'Ermm..Errr...You said that...Errr'...I said looking confused..
'Guy she talk say Synonyms are words that are...' Sodiq my levelmate tipped me whispering..
'Synonums are words that are used instead of a noun'...I shouted confidently thinking I killed it without letting Sodiq finish.
The whole class erupted with laughter of all genres... I heard myself and new my P6 brain failed me this time (I'm not a dull student..my G.P reach send Mtn-Mtn SMS na )
The S.Us shook their head with disappointment, while the regular peeps v got their head aching from over laughing..
'GET OUT Of MY CLASS, YOU RET'ARDE'D SON OF A SHOEMAKER!!'... Mrs okoso barked
I didn't careless..cos to me Its always a thing of joy to be sent out of the class. So I bounced out with pride and joy..

Headed home to the shrine (boozing center)... Got wasted...and slept till evening..woke up to about 26 missed calls... I picked ur my phone confused..
'who under heaven am I this important to that'll give me 26missed calls'.....
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Boxing day update!!

MY POEM--- DEAR CUPID

Dear Cupid,
It Seems you've been on exile from the streets
No homies anymore, everybody backstabbing
Goat eating Goats, Goats eating chicken
Everybody running home
But they've forgotten that houses are still on the street.

Dear Cupid,
Nigerian women are emotional bulldozers,
Crushing any heart that comes their way.
No wonder more youths wanna turn gay.
Why let your heart break, when it can be safe in a bank.
And you walk around heartless;
So women shouldn't complain saying we are heartless.

Dear Cupid,
It seems all your Focus now is on the family,
Ofcourse blood it thicker than water,
But its obvious that's where you reside now.
I'm sure this poem is the inspiration of Brymo's track 'Down'.
The simplicity of a complex world is the family.
Cos out there everyone's wierd looking like everyday's Halloween.

MY POEM--- DEAR CUPID

Dear Cupid,
It Seems you've been on exile from the streets
No homies anymore, everybody backstabbing
Goat eating Goats, Goats eating chicken
Everybody running home
But they've forgotten that houses are still on the street.

Dear Cupid,
Nigerian women are emotional bulldozers,
Crushing any heart that comes their way.
No wonder more youths wanna turn gay.
Why let your heart break, when it can be safe in a bank.
And you walk around heartless;
So women shouldn't complain saying we are heartless.

Dear Cupid,
It seems all your Focus now is on the family,
Ofcourse blood it thicker than water,
But its obvious that's where you reside now.
I'm sure this poem is the inspiration of Brymo's track 'Down'.
The simplicity of a complex world is the family.
Cos out there everyone's wierd looking like everyday's Halloween.

................................................................................
As I turn on the TV... Channels were having their six o'clock news... I wanted to change the station... Suddenly the news came up...
ASUU CALLS OF STRIKE!! Followed by visuals presentations of Egbon Fagge...it was confirmed!!

I was boiling with joy, atleast I'll be away from these boys...'but what of daddy na? Aw would he manage those boys?'...the angel on the right appears nd said --'dnt worry, I'll keep him safe'.
Well that was reassuring.. Still dancing azonskeletigi... My dad walked in...suprised to see me that happy. He knew something was up... 'Hey boy..why the akward dancing?' He asked..
Still dancing I pointed to the TV...

Seeing the new update.. He jumped up, pumping his fist in midair and joined me in my akward dancing...I was dancing cos I was gonna be free from trouble once more or so I thought... And he was dancing cos he won't have to bail me everyother time(the money wey hin don pay on ma head for police station go don reach buy camry pencil o...d man dey try)...
'This calls for celebration'; He reached our mini bar in the sittingroom and handed me a brand new bottle of Paul walker(shey na Paul walker abi John walker..highness don carry my reasoning go sha :/ ..d man strict bt he bin too like liquor..like father like son .. )...and one for himself too... We drank up till we started playing tinko-tinko out of highness and then we slept off...well till mom came to wake us up to our respective rooms...
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3days later...

'Sam!! Sam!!'...Mummy shook me till I was awake..
'Oya come to the palour your dad wanna see you'... She ordered..
'wish kin yawa b dis la... Una know say I dey go ogbomoso today nd I'll need all the strength I can get why una wan use your maheeda spoil my Kim K na'...I lamented.

I dragged myself to the sitting room..
'Sam have ur seat...My dad instructed.
Then he started bombarding me with all species of advices from 'don't carry gehs o!' To 'Read ur books'...he went on and on for almost an hour...Mom was already snooring ...while I struggled to keep my eyes open... When he observed the latest development he started rounding up... 'women are dangerous, toto dey short life span o... 'Don't keep bad friends o'...he advised. I was busy laughing in my mind... 'make I no keep bad friends..na me gan gan be bad friend'...He prayed for me to and we left...
I was happy to be leaving ikotun, but mhen I really loved my hood, the fun, the gurls, the kush (no kush in lag sweet reach ikt kush), the trips...and eerthang...
Was also worried bout my dad if those boys won't come after him but he reassured me that he'll be fine , he planned for the family to move out to for awhile till everything dies down..well that sounded cool to me... Dad settled me ...
And I left for school with.............
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At school..

I was waiting for Nonso my rummate to dressup..
(well Nonso's ma rummate, bestfriend, rap partner, and partner in crime, we've been together since JS2, can you beat that)...
'Mumu you wan bath all the black comot your skin nii?'
'Guy!! Better free me!!'...he answered from the bathroom
Well there's no use, I know him he baths like a fish..unlike me that uses a custard pail, to bath and poo. in a record time of 2mins.
I was getting impatient...
I looked into the mirror once again... I knew I was gon' kill em in class today... I had this Pink , really beautiful tshirt on, my 6gram gold around ma neck, golden wrist watch.., neatly ironed black vicker pants, sweet nd slick chinose shoe, I have a great body shape and face to match...
So I was sure of bringing home a trophy (babe)...

'Guy I'm done...let's ballout' ...Nonso said
I was feeling myself so much that I persuaded nonso to trek. I had to kill em all (actually na broke I bin broke, no ask me aw I spend money cos me sef no know)... We were enjoying the attention we got twas so coool, Nonso headed for his department while I for mine..

I got to class late, sneaked in..we were having a general course GNS209 and was even chatting a prey (babe) up... When someone tapped me from behind... I turned around to see the last person I expected to see here, in my class behind me.
'Why trouble dey always branch my street na?'...I asked myself...
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Goodnight...

Please I wanna know what you think of this story...
I need honest opinions...abeg ... Thnz

Gudnyt once more..

*make I kiss Mary Jame small ...I dey come