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Abeg una no go ves...

Ur boy don high like madt...

Christmas trips..

Na ontop mountain I use type this shii o!! Abeg una no go ves...

I fee stee write if I no crash...

Buh no ves abeg!!

hero10: guy where u dey stay for ikotun?

Guy aw fr?

Shey you wan bottle me ni?

Ah dey abogunloko...we fit ballership tugeda one of these days...abi wah do u fink?

would be updating late today... Christmas is so tedious ... pls bear with us

hollajay: how did u knw wat ur dad was thinking o @callmefemi

Na fiction na...

Nd advanced psychology

cannonnier: guy mopol wey shoot una car tire no wait collect statement, or even arrest the culprit?


you are still tryin sha, step it up

Modified already...

The rock5555: Bro congrat for FP tinz ooo

Thnx bruv

Ermmm I've been writing for almost an hour now... Make I go chao dinner!!

.................................................................................
RING!! RING!! RING!!

He was reluctant to answer his call. He ignored it and was about launching the horsewhip on me.. when another call came in.

RING!! RING!!

He answered it this time...Putting it on loud speaker
'Hello'...he said
'Brother Wale that boy is still threatening me o'... A Female voice which I guess should be Eniola's answered through the phone.
'what do you mean? , we've got him here with us'
'Got who? Ah! Brother You've got the wrong person o'...Eniola said.

On hearing this i was busy dancing galala in my mind.. I was a free man, the angel was right sha..
'Really'...Point1 aka brother Wale said.
'yes la, Hope its not that boy you met with me in the cafe?.......... ah-ha brother Wale, that boy's innocent na, shey na you go marry me, abeggo '
'Ehya, I'm sorry Enny I'll let him go right away, I never knew he was innocent' ...Bro Wale pleaded.
'Okay pls do... Take care Bro Wale..'
'take care enny'...Wale said and ended the call.

'You are one lucky brother..shey you know?'... Bros Wale aka point1 said.

'Shey you no know before, my head strong pass all of una own',...I thought them no born ma father well to tell him that if I did I'm sure they would hang me by my balls on the horn of a unicorn.

'I know boss, lucky na my 2nd name sef'...I lied or would I rather say joked.

'Oskido loose him'... Wale ordered.
As he was about to loosen me up Bro Wale inquired.. 'Shebi you belong wetin be your H.S?'
Ol'Boy I confuse straightup.. I knew the rule..
IMPERSONATION=DEATH
Maybe I wasn't so lucky after all, at this point I knew my lake of luck has dried up , Maybe na harmattan
..............................................................................
Meanwhile at Home, Dad was in his bedroom worried as hell.
He tried calling me...but till today I dunno where my phone is.
'I'm tired of this Boy, shey I no go disown him like this'...He thought.
He sipped his wine, picked up his phone and tried calling me.. It Rang, it was connected..
Daddy couldn't contain his joy or would I say anger..
'Femi where are you?!! Where have you been??!! Stupid boy!!'....Before he could finish his statement all he heard was
'You are welcome to Airtel customer care...press 1 to choose ur prefared language'..he was surprised he looked at his phone once again to be sure he was calling the right number, it was my number alright...(Airtel do am April fool for July )
Slamming the phone to the ground he dashed out of his room with his car key.
'I can't just sit down here and do nothing like a governor's wife' He rushed into his car and sped of to the only place he knew he could find me, IKOTUN POLICE STATION.
...............................................................................
'Guy answer the question abi ur tongue don less?'...Oskido Shouted
'BOY! Amma ask you for the last time...WHAT'S YOUR H.S NAME??' He said with steel in his voice...
'I don die, who send me impersonation mission now, ooh why I'm I always getting into trouble'...I thought... The demon appered on the Left shoulder 'Fool! Better find one name give them, shey dey wan know, better wiseup up o..mumu!!' He said ...The angel appeared as expected.'Sam, and yee shall say the truth and the truth shall set you free' ...he advised ....I weighed my pro and cons I chose to follow the demon, atleast he go me into this mess he should also be the one to get me out...abi?
A Jaw damaging slap brought me back to reality...
Now they were closing down on me, with blood in their eyes. 'hungry lion niawon boys yii o!!'...I thought...
ANSWER ME!!...Wale exclaimed.
My trademark p6 brain went mining...and discovered a cool name for me... 'they suppose fall for this shii na'...I thought..
I sat up. (my hands were still tied but my legs were loosed now). Feigned Boldness , Clear ma throat..(like say e sure for me!! Smh for myself).
''I'm H.S Oviedo 69, ordained by the topmost power of jakujaku''...i Spat with topmost confidence. They looked at themselves in with fulfilled faces... Thinking I had hit the jackpot I continued 'initiated by Boss lakwa of Dogodogo nest' ...was about to continued when I felt a bamboo crash on my head with ultimate force...My skull didn't break though, but I heard cracks.
(assuming say na una head nw, una for carry the pieces for ground like broken tumbler bt me get stronghead)
I needed no woohlie (cele prophet) to tell me that there's 99.9% chance of me not seeing tommorow's sunrise.. Well a man dies once abi...or so I thought... I prepared for the worse.
................................................................................
He walked into the station to find only an officer sleeping on duty,
'Pathetic maggots' he thought ... Shaking the officer vigorously.
'Yes baby give it me one more time, yes honey go down, yes baby!'...he sleep talked.
He woke up to face see dad staring at him inquisitively.
He brushed up and inquired of my dad.
'Hello sir, How can I be of help?'...He asked.
'Ermm I'm looking for my son'... Said my dad.
'who's your Son?'... The officer inquired.
'Samuel'
'Samuel?? Do you mean psalmurai? The senate president of Cell 2?'.
'Senate president??'
He's not here o!!
Well Thanks.. He headed out of the station even more worried..
'Where could he be?'...He asked himself.
.................................................................................

Wale ,oskido and co. Bundled me into their Peugeot. They wanted to go waste me at Egbe carnal. I was praying my last prayer so God'll accept my soul...

I opened my eyes, observing the people around me. Bro Wale was in the front seat, beside the driver, Oskido was in my right and Rango was on my left.. It was a dead end, no escape.I submitted myself to fate. I'm a dead man.

'I was doomed'...I admitted.
Suddenly the car stopped, Rango headed out to ease himself..
I sensed this as a chance to help myself.. I looked out for maybe any help could come forth.
Suddenly, I saw my dad's car turnout from the junction...
There was hope once again,
DADDY!! DADDY!! HELP!! HELP!! I shouted
He recognized my voice and he turned and saw me... I saw joy and fear in his eyes..
To God be the Glory... Mopol was patrolling, He saw them and Signalled them, informed them about the latest development, by now Rango hurried into the car,
Oskido pointed a gun at me. 'You move? I move you'.
I have already peed in my pants.
There was a Hot chase, The Mopol shot our car's tire.
It somersaulted thrice over the bridge, then landed into the bush under the bridge (ol boy na so I go take die?) I thought I was dead..

I was surprised to find myself alive after the tumbling.the car tumbled into the bush under the bridge..now I'm sure God loved me and he still has a plan for my Life. I looked around and saw that they were all unconscious.
I saw this as a chance to escape..I saw Rango looking at me I found out he couldn't move ..and I squeezed myself to move out...

I moved out and saw my father afar...
I ran to him and we embraced..tears dropping from my eyes.
'I Love you dad'....I confessed (I was happy to see him, I really was, I thought I never though I was gonna see him again).
'I love you too son'...he professed.
We headed for their station to drop a statement,
They told us that 2 was dead and the rest they escaped, I don't know how. (I was like really? Woah that's trouble o)
We embraced for a while and headed for home in his car.
Before I even got home, they called my dad (I dunno aw dey got his number).
'We are coming after Sam..he must surely pay for the death of my brothers.. Don't ever forget that'....and the line went dead. He updated me on the latest development; Fear gripped me to the bone marrow..
Maybe I wasn't a free man afterall...'Why I go dey always enter trouble now'...I thought.
I was feeling really down and scared and so was my dad. We got home so depressed and scared...I turned on the TV to deviate my thinking a little...I turned on the TV only to surprisingly see the best news of my life. (atleast for the time being)

its gon get better with time...

TYPING...

@Odward idc .......ma BA3 z low sha... Nd ermm I wanna cook the update well so una go like am gan... Dazall.....c ya in the evening!!

: KingzPen(m), symbian03(m),
fijiano202(m), readone99(m), CallMeFemi(m),
ridlaw(m), Demour and 2 guest(s)

None commenting....una weak_head (wicked) o!!

@fijiano I'm still learning na... Would improve... Still finding it hard to put myself in that writer's shoe...

I'll improve with time...

Tried reducing the humor in the last update..
Working on my realism..
Still trying to picture this as a movie...

I'll improve.....that's for sure.

@tosin7a thanx bruv...still growing tho ....why Iya togo no gyv u coke na...well maybe next time ;-)

................................................................................
I turned around to see a huge brother staring at me. I'm sure I've seen him somewhere before but just couldn't place where I met him. Yes, its the point1 from my robbery scene. The cafe was empty once again, I relaxed a little,
'I've got this'... I thought.

So na you dey threaten my sister for this hood abi... He said.

Before I could defend myself he had already striked, landing a heavy slap on my soft cheeks.

Once again the signals were too strong for my brains to comprehend..

I passed out for the second time in 2weeks...
................................................................................

Woke up to a brain damaging headache. With both my hands and legs chained.

I was in a really dark room, that I couldn't makeout its size. All I saw was tiny red light in the far corners and the smoke from k'ush enveloping the room.

'awon sango don dey occupy till I come o'(there's a lot of smokers here)... I Joked.

'Brothers chop egede'...Point1 shouted(don't ask me how I knew it was him, I just know)

RUGGED YOU!!!... They replied in unison.

'Na this boy they torment my sister for our street o, he don threaten her sotey she dey fear to ballout, and that one na F.K to my rep'... he addressed them.

'So wetin u wan make we do am now'...Someone asked.

'hmmmm good question , well make give am morozonta chop'... Said Point1

'I don dead, na so my career go end?'...I asked myself already sweating profusely.

'Bosses abeg na, No b me dey threaten your lil sis' ...I pleaded

'Come on shutup there'...someone said flashing a torch to my face.

'wait o, No be this boy wey follow us reason for him house wen we con bust hin ppl?'...he said

I was relieved a little atleast someone recognized me maybe I won't be wasted afterall.

Now they put on the bulb and they were all suprised to see me.

'So you be our brother and you dey fukup like this!!' ...Point1 lamented

'Boss I use my future grave swear no be me o; olohun!!'

'Na so den dey tawk...anyway F.K na F.K and forgiveness na sin. You must chop morozonta'

My whole life started flashing right before my eyes, I was already hoping to make heaven, with that poem 'Solomon groundy' playing in the background.

The Demon appeared on my left shoulder, "oh my love, finally we'll get to be together forever"..he said chuckling... At that Point I knew I was gone or so I thought.. The Angel appeared on my right... "My son fear not for help is on its way, and thee shall be set free by the truth"... Those words gave me hope..

"Born2kill..Bring that koboko come make we torture am small before me do send forth for am" said point1.

A cute dry koboko was produced out of nowhere to enhance my skin... But suddenly

RING!! RING!! RING!!...his phone rang.
............................................................................
To be continued

@blackorpheus I've not finished the story yet..I write as it comes, permission granted..

@ademoj thanks bruv

@gentlefrank nufin do u bruv

@davidega TYPING.....

@gen2jaynee thanks blood... More to come .. Nd its psalmurai....

After Dinner... I suppose update o...but arsenal vs Chelsea dey play!! I gats wash mash o!! Sorry I gats hear match... 88.9 or 99.3 loading.... So no update today sorry...

signing out ....


@ adadadon ........modifed in a bit......yeah done!! Thanx bruv

.

@ revolva ...you gats rep your hood na...

@tosin7a ...come that togo woman wey dey abogunloko side tell her say Samuel talk make you collet beans 60, bread 80, 1 big coke, 2 pure water and 2 kpomo....

@charbless y u tawk use Mtn compare me na, atleast m more consistent then they r...abi??

@trendy tessy yu wicked o...out of eerthang I wrote na '.' U c comment...well atleast u commented

@odward this aint no nollywood story...this is an ikotwood story..*winks

@adegwurulez ...thanks bruv.

.....................................................................
The Cafe grew silent all of a sudden which frightened me a little, I stole a glance at Nonso couldn't find him on his system. I saw him running out of the cafe through the back door.
I couldn't help but laugh at his action.

Well I got really scared after that, then I turned expecting to see another officer Emeka akunaka, or maybe his allotrope, but I was dissapointed and wasn't dissapointed at the same time from what I saw.

I was dissapointed cos I who I saw wasn't the officer or any of his allotropes,
And I wasn't dissapointed cos who I saw was worth the attention.

Her hair was dazzling, her eyes were so sexy, her skin so fresh, she was so beautiful. That I thought she wasn't real.

Boys were already drooling over her, and so I was also, I knew I must have her...but the problem was how. (abeg slap anybody that says love at first sight doesn't exist)

She ordered for a ticket (cafe time) chose a computer. And got to work. My trademark P6 brain also got to work, cos of all my qualities I'm super shy whenever a woman is involved.

Luck smiled on me...

She logged into her Facebook account, by now most guys who were trying to get her attention were already giving up, Nonso was no where to be found also. As a sharp boy I copied her username, searched her up and found her profile in a jiffy.

Sent a request, she accepted almost immediately (dnt ask me aw I did it,una suppose fear fine boy na, that's y I no wan upload 4 NL, dem ishilove go jus dey tweep ni).. I couldn't believe it but I knew I was already a step ahead of my peers.

I sent her a message
'Hey bby pls tell the angels in heaven to stop worrying that you are safe with me'

She replied:
'Dry pickup line!!!'

I couldn't believe my eyes, at this point you can call me OJB cos my liver failed me. I couldn't bring myself to continue the conversation.
'Bone, how babe go they fall my hand'. I thought
My liver was good again.. So I sent her another.

'LOL!, yeah yeah tellme something I don't know, but I'm gonna tell you something you already know...one word 'BREATHTAKING' I know its so cliche but its the truth'

I hoped for the worst but she was like

'Really? '

'Let's do this face to face, e-meetings aren't so cool you know?' ...I texted

'Really where are you?'

'Just Turn around' ...suddenly my 'Nepa' liver ceased power, my heartbeat was so loud now that I was sure olamide could freestyle to it.
As she turned..
I flashed my trademark smile, (the smile that got me the closeup contract)
I was still on a High blood pressure but she returned the gesture... And we both blushed..

The devil appeared on my left shoulder and was like 'Guy you be Foo'l see as you dey smile like goat wey them burn, if they born you well don't bleep dis girl...mtchewww dullung boy'...
An angel came to my rescue or so I thought 'Sam flee from every appearance of evil... A word is enough for the wise'... I was confused
None of them encouraged me to fall inlove with her, maybe she wasn't wonderwoman afterall...

I was deep in thoughts when she tapped me bringing me back to reality...
I came back to discover that I was still smiling at her... I felt embarrassed and ashamed of myself. Its a horrible feeling, I'm pray yall never feel this way in your life...
But her smile was refreshing and reassuring... I saw the other guys were either jelous, confused or more jelous, who gives a bleep, I'm loving this moment...
'You look far beautiful in the physical bby' I said.
She blushed while I was feeling ontop of the world.
'Hey baby I'm Samuel, my malaysian friends call me psalmurai'
'I'm eniola and I've got no friends'
'No friends?? Why??' I inquired.
'I'll tell you why you GreatFool!' A deep voice said tapping me from behind..
..............................................................................

Idc make I go find beans buy!!

Lemme drop an update...

TYPING...

247cheapgadgets: You dey try my guy.. Easy on d political jokes o.. B4 you see yourself for real prison..

Noted boss... Thanks

.

Ewa...

Abeg comment now...

Criticize and correct me where I've gone wrong..

I need criticism...

Thnx



Viewing this topic: Productivity, Babzilla, L brasi,
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None dropping a comment

*Dancing Galala*

*Runs to ikotun market... With no clothes on

I'm gonna give thanksgiving for my k'ush joint tommorow

MY SPEECH
........................................................................
They always say its impossible until its done, I'm a man of many talents and I never thought writing was one of them, I rap, sing, dance, draw, model
Amongst others.

This is my first shot at writing, I've really never written before but I guess there's some foundation to build an empire on.

I wanna thank my Fans (I'm not sure I've got any yet tho), I wanna thank oga flow+ oga rock +oga mazi (my mentors them) for putting me through indirectly and unconsciously..God will put you through too..

I wanna thank MTN, even though they bleepup most times, they didn't bleepup this time... I wanna thank my Pentium 6 brain for being ahead of its peers..God'll upgrade you to the next level
I wanna say a big thank you to the mods, I see you... God'll see you too..

Well I smell beans nd bread around the corner make I branch that togo woman wey dey abogunloko side run chao my recipe...

I LOVE NAIRALAND!! PEACE!!

........................................................................
We flew into the house faster than that superhero Flash.

Before we could close our door...a pistol was already pointed to my face..
'How this people take fast like this na?' I thought..
They were really fast, the flew out of the car and into our house in less than 3 seconds..
If I'm Flash then these guys were supermen..

Ehen I forgot to describe to house for you guys..
Well I'm from a family of four 3 boys , 2 girls.I'm the 2nd boy nd 4th child.We stay in a really cool duplex with 2 beautiful cars. I'm from a semi rich home, but I don't know why I chose to follow the streets. Well I love adventure and the streets gave me lots and lots of it...

I tried turning around to see who the culprit was,
I saw that they were 6 in number, dressed in all blacks... They all looked like some AYE brethren... An idea was produced by my trademark Pentium 6 brain..

'Abrakaya'... I said.

'Rugged you'... The guy pointing a shiny pistol at me replied.

Rugged axeman... I told them

Ahhh!! Na our brother be this now... The guy I suspected to be their Point 1 said.

I smiled.. Me wey be Jew, bloody rat.. I jus sabi O.T small ..well that's by the way.

All this while my dad's pant wasn't wet , it was loaded with 'Matter' ...I stole a glance at him and smiled, well the floor was flooded thanks to my younger bro. He was the only one at home with my dad so... Dazall

They loosen up a little..sat down and I went into the house and brought some food for them, they ate, we chatted and laughed a little...

Nobody needed to tell my dad to run inside,
At this point I'm sure my dad was happy to have me as his son... Cos my dad hardly uses the bank he's got his cash loaded in his wardrobe.

We settled them and they left... Atleast it's better than them taking everything.
The requested.... No they ordered I returned back with them to the temple..

I knew I was going to get screwed if I followed them,...I narrated everything that happened for the past week and pleaded with them a little that I've got a lot to clear with my dad.

The point1 swallowed my format nd it was forced to make a promise to come looking for them or else they'll storm my house again. Well I had no choice did I?
.................................................................................

Back at the cafe,

Me and Nonso tried tracking his control...

'chai! Awon the owner ti ja owo yen sha(those bad guys have cashed out the money!!)'... I lamented.

We were sober, out mood was ruined.

Suddenly the cafe went silent again,

I sensed something terrible was about to happen..

.................................................................................

I dey come(Idc) make I check my mail maybe this client go gree T/T........

oga rock.....

Ur story na ma inspiration...

Abeg make una check ma story too...

E dey ma signature... Thanx

.................................................................................
'LEAVE HIM ALONE' I heard..

I was freed immediately, I looked around to see who my savior was, just then I saw junior, I was suprised to see junior, actually I really wasn't suprised..

Junir was my partner in crime in secoundary school, He's known around town for his unique talent which was.......

STEALING.

Junior steals anything that can be called 'Matter'..( For those that don't know the definition of matter you can always ask google )... He steals better than Aunty oduah (Na joke o, make SSS no find me come house o).. He once stole his own eraser thinking it was for someone else.

'Psalmurai afa wetin u dey find come my side now'?

'Na wa yu o.. So yu don turn cell to your house?' I said laughing

I told him how we got ourselves in the cell. I also inquired how he got in here..well I was sure he got in here for stealing, And he confirmed it. Actually he tried stealing someone's car tire. How stupid does that sound? Stealing someone's car tire by the road side.

I introduced junior to Nonso, and they got along real quick, this was my secound day in the cell. And any of our parents were yet to come looking for us.

We were freed a week later when the no one came for us, and they were the ones loosing cos they fed us twice a day, I really enjoyed the cell, free food (bread nd beans *my favorite*) lots of sleep and bullying newcomers was really fun..(maybe yall should try it sometime)

.................................................................................

We were back on the streets, thanks to FG and ASUU. Got back home to face my super strict dad..

My Pentium 6 brain got to work.. Came up with the perfect lie.. Atlast they don't call me Psalmurai for nothing.

I don't know how my dad got to know I was freed, as I got home I met him in the front of our house with all the types of wires that exist.. Ranging from copper wires to lead wires, from red to violet, even Rainbow wire sef dey..

'I Don die' I admitted to myself

Sam where have you been?? He asked
Actually he didn't do the asking, a stroke of his favorite 10mm did the talking..

I was about to serve him my hot, sure, purely calculated lie when we saw a peugeot 504 stop outside our gate.

We didn't need T.B Joshua to tell us to flee..
................................................................................

Thanks for the support the support...



TYPING...

Abeg comment la... even if na jst fullstop '.' Just comment....

Its the fuel to more updates

www.nairaland.com/1565338/legend-ikotun-boy-callmefemi#20398796

Abeg hlp me on my thread..

You guys should read it nd pls comment

Tellme what yu think

D Micheal nice story man!!

Yall should check ma story out..

www.nairaland.com/1565338/legend-ikotun-boy-callmefemi#20398796

And pls don't forget to comment...

Thanx in advance

Great story trixandra cnt wait for ur next update....

Yall should check out my story...

www.nairaland.com/1565338/legend-ikotun-boy-callmefemi#20398796

Its tyt tho

Nd pls comment