₦airaland Forum

sonssyo:
2m is fine,my 650k no reach anywhere without hubby or kids, keep wondering how family men cope with 200,300,400 or even 500k salary

same here , dont know how they do it at all on those salaries,

my rough guess, might be wrong

at 500k salary
100k savings towards a yearly rent of 1.2m (decent and manageable location ) 1 bedroom accomodation
savings 100k monthly
feeding - 150k monthly inclusive of food at work and eating out .

transportation - 100k (really tight already here, cause it cost more than 100k depending on your location to work, say you live on the mainland and work on the island we need like 200k here )

total is already 500-550k

Remember this is for a single guy and my earlier post aligns , i said a single guy need 700k to live comfortably,

at that 500k yiu can't even date or do anything at all.

now what blows my mind is how married people with 2 or 3 kids do it on a 300k or less salary or even a 500k salary

i did engineering but i can't solve that maths or do the calculation at all,

You would literally have to be begging everyone on your watzapp status to survive.

speaking out or contributing to this thread cause no jokes, i've gotten hundreds of messages like that, and just had to start looking at their situation cause its not funny and nice what the average nigerian goes through

Pascal9:
people that never see 100k, are making mouth , 1million a month to do what, family of 4 can't finish 300k food stuff in a month. people can make mouth sha!

just out of curiosity are you married cause 300k food stuff a month wont comfortably feed 2 persons a month . remember the OP is asking how much to live comfortably in a month, key word is to be comfortable and not to suffer

though not in nigeria but due to the numerous billings i've gotten countless times, here is my contribution based on what i see from those living in nigeria and all

In Lagos, you need minimum of N700,000 as a single guy to have access to basic things in life, and just forget about car for now, you would hardly be able to afford a car on that salary

as a married man, 1.2m and above monthly with 2 kids max to live just a basic and okay life, might struggle with that, but you can definitely make it work, again forget about buying a car on that paycheck won't work

Nigeria is really difficult and not so easy to navigate.

it baffles me how people survive on less than 500k a month, honestly with all humility and sincerity cant do the maths, have done it severally and my books dont balance, hence why i totally understand the frustrations that lots of nigerians face from the government in power,

just sad, work so hard but earn so little

so my question is, would be 29 in April, i'm old i know lol

my next level is hopefully getting into a serious relationship and getting married by 30 or latest 31, by Gods grace.

my issue is im so so single and dont really understand women a lot , still learning them , also from a financial perspective since i'm just building back now due to my setback jobwise and all, i honestly don't know how to manage a lot and all, i see people getting married with 15m naira, 20m naira and having less than 10m after in their account basically spending all they have

might be wrong but i cant think of getting married without having a minimum of $50,000 in my account, steady cashflow monthly of not less than $5,000 minimum, and Zero credit card debt and consumer debt .

might sound very narrow minded but ran the numbers and anything less than this would be suffering to me or managing, these numbers above arent even big or make me rich lol, but to me it's a modest starting point and in few years can buy my home, keep saving aggressively and investing and building wealth in a soft and easy and stressless environment where basic financial expenses are easy to solve and not a hassle .

am i wrong or i have it all mixed up and how do people with less have a lovely life and do it.

i just don't have the answers and need direction please.

Just an Update .

want to say a big thank you to all that helped shape my mindset for the better, just going through this thread now and it's light and darkness difference from where i was mentally to where i am currently,

Got an amazing job with a company in downtown Toronto, in october 2025 literally 2 months after putting out this thread. a company i had applied to gave me a call back and offered me a role.

here are my lessons, and still learning,

1. learnt to be very humble and take life a step at a time, this whole experience thought me true humility as i was humbled to me knees, for the first time ever, never had an answer to a problem, never happened to me all my years in life, always had a way out somehow.

2. learnt to appreciate the little things in life and take God very seriously, we don't know it all, and only God can guide us through the storms of life not our brillance or smartness.

still learning as time goes on,

have questions please i need answers to and guidance next post.

Don’t know if anyone experiences this or it’s just me. Maybe I can be useful enough to help someone with my story, maybe just maybe I come out victorious from this or it perishes me, don’t know honestly

imustsaymymindo:
When last did you have validational sex from a woman or many women at once? Sometimes, we men just want to let go of the steam lol. That could be your problem.

I work in big tech. You can get fired at anytime. So you obviously can't be having this mentality you have if you are going to work for one. You might get fired the month you are hired lol. What do you do? Back to depression? Lol.

The moment is all that matters, bro. Live it. Rn, I miss when I was unemployed, because I would be touring the world more if I was and taking more risk like working on products that can change my life in this AI booming era. So live the moment, and enjoy bro.

I’m into tech space , last year took a business analysis course finished top of my class . Some of my colleagues have gone on to get top jobs and I’m still here .

I do well in a class setting and all, but struggle with HR especially at the final round . Just struggle , prepare really hard , practice but I get to final rounds but no offer letter .

Jman06:
You said you once worked and that despite not liking the job, you felt useful like a man. The problem seems to be from not getting the kind of jobs you want. In that case, I'll advise you to try getting such jobs for the time being while you still try your luck in getting your dream jobs.

I learnt that driving heavy duty vehicles pays well in the west, so why not give that a try? If you don't already know how to drive such vehicles, try and learn. You're just 28 and still has a long way and alot of opportunities ahead of you so, stop entertaining the thoughts of death. Instead, reinvent yourself and delve into other vocations that may not necessarily be engineering. You'll be surprised how you may come to love the vocation and have your story change for the better. Thank goodness you're in a society where hard work is rewarded regardless if it's white collar or blue collar job one is doing.

Arise and shine, young man!

True , but vocation stuff or truck driving I know it’s just an example , but it’s off for me , like might make me more depressed , cause I would just dislike everyday of my life doing that. I just want a job that makes me think , use my brain, challenges me , and then I save enough money and go back to my tech and startup dream. Which I did at 20.

Hence why I’m into tech roles and hoping on Google to get back to me

Interviewed at Twitter, was rejected , Facebook was rejected, Accenture same , Scotiabank same , CIBC same , and so many big big companies can’t even remember them .

[sub][/sub]

imustsaymymindo:
All what you just wrote is not factual, bro. It's your mind playing games on you. Like I said, you need to force yourself to practice gratitude. I just told you how rich you are, so what are you talking about penury? In any case you don't know, it could get worse. You are no better or have 2 heads than the homeless man. Which mediocre would be doing interviews with Google, Scotia, and have a good education at 28 years? I live you to this Robert Greene's quote maybe it'd make you feel better as regards your worth:

"Your faith in yourself should overcome your insecurities. Imagine yourself a King and you will become a King."

Thanks for the kind words , after so many rejections and no’s don’t even know if I deserve this words or I’m even good enough or it’s just my mind deceiving itself . Cause I have no results to show for it which is technically a fact . Just don’t know at this point . Never been at a point in life where I felt so hopeless and clueless and don’t even know what’s going on again. Like I just keep telling myself I don’t honestly know. Like I have no answers at all to it. Literally no answers

imustsaymymindo:
All you need is gratitude, bro. Be grateful for everything and stop comparing yourself to others. Till you can look within, and count your blessings one by one, that's when you'd be mentally prepared to handle life. You think not having a job in Canada is the worst/best thing that can/will happen to you in life?

Funny enough, na people like you dey fear to take the jump when skydiving or boujee jumping.

If you count your blessings, you would realise having a family - a rich one at that, having good health are also riches.

Enjoy your unemployment bro. You would miss it when you get a job finally. Enjoy your single life too, you would miss it when in a relationship or married. Live the moment and have an abundance mindset(meaning taking all the resources, money, and time) you have now as all that you need to be great. Instead of looking at someone else's or what you don't have.

I think I get you honestly , but always feel frustration is when your goals and reality is too far apart , I’ve always wanted to start a tech company be in that space , my plan was get a job , save money , leave start my own thing , but to even get a NOC job after so many interviews is difficult even getting a regular job . I honestly don’t know . I don’t want to seem ungrateful but my head is battling leaving a life of penury and mediocrity versus just calling it a day accepting my fate and exiting it peacefully , than living everyday being reminded of my failures and worthlessness , some people can do that or figure that out in their head, I just can’t do it, trying to just can’t .

guysis:
You need to see and talk to a therapist bro first off. What happened to the project that won you the grant? You didn't take advantage of the mentorship behind the programme to grow your business?

Wouldn’t it be like I’m seeking attention, hence why I came to a faceless forum like this

I honestly don’t know anymore I’m lost thought giving my life to Christ on Sunday would be a turning point but 3 days in I’m back to my old ways, I genuinely believed I was done and had a bright future , done over 3,000 applications for a job no result to show for it, over 40 interviews nothing , had final rounds with Google, Scotiabank and so many companies can’t count it , nothing yet no response yet, I’m 28 still living with my sister a complete failure and disgrace to my soul , I had dreams and ambitions to run a Tech company and all, at 20 won the Tony Elumelu grant, life was good , mentally I was at my best so exited talking with fellow startup founders being in that space and all, now I can’t even get an NOC job, even non NOC job like Tim Hortons I can’t get meanwhile then I was getting noticed by big accelerator hubs, getting responses and replies from founders that have raised Series B funding and building amazing companies ,

I live with my sister, I've analyzed our relationship its one sided I'm of no use to her at all, maybe my use is helping out with my nieces and nephews which I would do happily cause I love them so much, but except that I'm literally of no use at all, she's a medical doctor in an amazing career, what exactly is my use or contribution if we are to be sincere and objective absolutely nothing, literally nothing, where I stay im just occupying space adding absolutely nothing to it, I don't pay for it, so what exactly is your usefullness Teeyee. If we weren't siblings I would have been packed out since cause I add nothing absolutely nothing. I can't pay for anything 😂, except giving my kidney even that would be rejected lol 😂. Instead she gives me money at 28 isn’t that shameful Teeyee, shouldn’t you be ashamed , Roqueeb is married , he married at 27 ooo, Chidera is married at 28, he just came into Canada less than 7 months ago you’ve been in Canada for almost 3 years now and he’s 1,000 times better off than you would ever be .

My brother , let’s not even go there , I literally don’t add a single thing to his life , no advise, nothing can’t even think of one thing except that we just brothers , he’s so well off and good that I’m not even worthy of even washing his car 😂. He can get people who can do that perfectly , if he was to conduct an interview for that job or role I would fail it without question wouldn’t even pass the HR screening process 😂😂. They would send me a rejection email like , we are moving forward with another candidate some automated nonsense.

My Sister , Joyce , similar story , I add nothing to her , I even inconvenience her, I sleep in same room with her, she pays for the room I don’t even add 1 cent, messing up her private space, barely able to live the bathroom clean and all. Absolutely nothing .

My mum , nothing , don’t really call her , I mean I don’t really call anyone too, every mum wants their children to succeed , I mean she has the medical doctor, the engineer, Joyce , and then the failure Teeyee, that can’t even send her $50 monthly , can’t buy her anything at all, be collecting fuel money to pick up her goods , what kind of a son are you Teeyee, 😂. You should be ashamed of yourself honestly no kidding , you really should be ashamed of yourself Teeyee.

most of my friends are married and all , have beautiful families I’m still here, people I was way better than in school and smarter than. But I’m here 28 year old guy a complete failure and disaster, I live in Canada . Studied engineering and finished university at 20. I just don’t have it in me anymore, every single day I breathe and I’m awake is a torture and reminder of my failure , I rather go now than keep living a life of misery. I’m just exhausted and tired honestly, hopeless and just getting same rejections over and over and over again,

Giving my life to Christ while I felt good for a day or 2 showed no growth at all for me , I still somehow reverted to my old ways, I listen to testimonies in church of people and it’s feeling like all is a scam , God giving people amazing jobs, marriages and I’m here seeking 1% of that just 1% of that for over 1 year now, nothing absolute nothing to show for it.

The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill himself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling.”

I’m just at that point now but then the fear of heaven and hell and if religion is a scam or real knowing the white people and how they can manipulate people, they brought religion to us, we were serving our own Gods peacefully but they brought this Christianity to us, at this point if I see a God that can bring me out of this misery I would worship. is heaven even real, is hell even real, what is the bible teaching on it, all these gives me doubts about just leaving until I get answers , don’t even think God knows me or gives a shit about me lol. I mean if he does I would be here I guess. Or even figuring out if heaven and hell has a HR department cause I would be rejected as usual to both with some generic message, we moving on with another candidate or something along those lines😂😂😂😂.

I only ever paid rent for 2 years while i didn’t like the job I felt like a man and a responsible person in that time, but now I feel like a secondary school person , still living with my sister no job no family nothing , can’t even date, what do I have to offer, my pathetic failure of a life lol 😂😂. I wouldn’t even wish that on my worst enemy to date me lol.

I’m of no use to anyone, I don’t add any value to anyone at all, only value I add or can add is failure upon failure upon failure , even if I go now or die, no one would even notice 😂😂, like what was Teeyee existence for initially like Teeyee, you don’t even do anything for anyone to begin with so why exactly should we even cry or miss him lol 😂. I mean if we talking about failures oh sure , we can think of him , but about serious things in life oh please he can leave if he wants to no one really cares let’s just be honest 😂😂.

I honestly don’t know or who I can talk to , I’m not seeking attention or some nice words to hear , I just don’t know anymore, I just don't know anymore,

Probably would get text book replies or responses I guess , or that I'm seeking attention or bothering people with real jobs and careers, and those God have chosen to be useful on earth not you.

Well maybe I'm wrong maybe I'm right but at the end of it all its probably worth it I guess.

I miss my Dad so much now, maybe if he was here he would have given me one or two of his Quotes 🥹. He does have a lot of quotes, really interesting ones. I remember one he always says, ‘’the moment of greatest tiredness is just before the Goal is reached’’ . Well Dad that moment has been over 1 year now. Moment like the word is isn't in infinity or perpetuity,

If you ever read this know at least I've tried my best, don't see myself reaching 30 😂. 2 years from now lol 😂. 30 and a colossal failure, at least have some shame and hide yourself in the Grave that's more honorable than carrying your shame 6ft5 inches tall for the whole world too see lol.

Not like the world even cares 😂😂😂😂😂. You a nobody never forget that.

Well I'm not writing again, just have to figure out the heaven and hell thing and I should be good.

Maybe I could help someone reading this from jumping out of their own burning building and quitting but maybe not cause I doubt I even have the capacity too lol . But just maybe I could , maybe.

Thanks

Things End

Growing up, I’ve always had huge hopes and ambitions in life, had lots of dreams and aspirations, but I guess it’s not meant to be, I’ve always held the view it’s better to live a shorter but fullfilling life than a longer but rather stressful and painful life filled with lots of despair, pain and suffering. I feel we not all equal and all have our different paths to follow. It’s been mentally challenging over the last one year for me with no light at the end of the tunnel, constant rejections upon rejections . I just feel it’s better to quietly and honourably walk away than being a burden or useless to those around you. It’s selfish to impose your uselessness and worthlessness on others around you, especially when you claim you love them. You let them be and allow them focus on their amazing life’s and careers. I’ve always wanted to see Dad once more , thought it would be awhile but I can hear the calls even in my dreams. In essence I guess things End

I’m sorry for the pain I might cause you, it’s not my intentions but I rather you have peace and have not to worry about me . Have hopes of getting married and being a father someday but well, maybe in my next life I guess lol . I’ve had so many addictions and I might not even be faithful. It’s been a pleasure of enjoying the few years I had, but I don’t see any positive light ahead in anyway. I just don’t have it in me to continue on this path of suffering and mental pain. I feel so useless and worthless. It’s a Saturday, Monday would be upon us soon , and while others set out for the day, I’m idle for the week with tons of rejections upon rejections.

Well , I’m grateful and I think it’s time to call it a day.

Thank you .

Love you Mum .

Looking at going in November or early December to Nigeria

Like I said earlier broke up with my Nigerian girlfriend already, maybe I just go for detty December and have a good time or bad idea?

imustsaymymindo:
Lol, bro. I took the time to read your posts.

Don't go to Nigeria o. The cost of tickets by now in this ember period would be high, you'd get Billings from your gf or ex-gf and other people, and those days of debauchery you want to have, you may not get it, and Naija is a bit unstable in many areas at the moment. You are not even in Naija yet, you are getting billings from strangers on Nairaland already.

You have to build and take out time to learn the game. Don't rush. I see you are going on a date soon. Good for you. But I don't think thriving to get a girlfriend would help your current state. If you get a girlfriend now and you relapse and she finds out about it, you are going to be creatively dealt with and you would prefer so badly to lose 20k in sex than for you to be in that situation. They don't tolerate cheating lightly there. And moreso, you sound quite naive to female nature.

My advice would be:

1.⁠ ⁠Network and see where you can get cheaper transactional sex when Hot. Massage parlors, nightclubs, referrals etc. Or masturbate responsibly. Don't listen to the advice to camp a homeless girl.

2.⁠ ⁠Get on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, and what-not and like away. Just like, don't initiate convo. Let the girls initiate the convo first. That'd help sieve those who would want something to do with you. The direct approach is not for online activities. Although you might end up with girls, not your spec it doesn't matter, you are just using them to move up and increase your options. I call it, starting with the obese.

3.⁠ ⁠Take yourself out. Amusement parks, clubs, barbecue parties, cinemas, zoos, Parks, Pubs, conferences, Google meetup, etc. This is where you can now apply the direct approach. Talk to a girl who also came alone, you can even pay for her activity at the place(They'd appreciate it. They don't get that regularly). Be smooth with your words and confident.

4.⁠ ⁠Have an abundance mindset. Don't operate in scarcity. Talk to new girls even in Nigeria, and tell your Naija friends to introduce some Naija girls to you. Have a lot of them. It's long-distance but it's just to trick your brain into abundance. And for you who love the only fans' shenanigans, the Naija babes can give you a private perverse show at low or no cost depending on your game.

5.⁠ ⁠Have a good Instagram for social proof. Nigeria has the numbers. Once you take some pictures of yourself in nice places in Canada, flaunting some cars that are not yours, and all, you'll get many Naija followers who want to be like you. Or you can even buy an IG account sef. So that when you meet girls online or offline in Canada, instead of giving them your number or Whatsapp, you give them your Instagram(for social proof as most of them won't even have that amount of followers). I am sure some of those Onlyfan models and Tryst people don't even have followers up to a normal random Naija dude doing basics on Instagram.

6.⁠ ⁠Lastly, go to the gym, lose weight by taking note of your diet, and build muscle. This would make you attractive by the day. And also when you eventually get a lay, you'd be mentally prepared to devour that juice like a proper black man with steeze so they can keep coming back for more at no cost. You don't want to end up a one-minute man after all these hassles.

I wish you good luck, my friend. You might also want to consider taking the Redpill while you are at it because your game levels need to be on par to pull all this off and to be safe out there.

Wow, this is so helpful

I’m considering visiting Nigeria soon , don’t know if that would help too or?

Sapasenator:
He is not ready.

It’s not that easy the way you put it, I’m working hard on myself , addiction can be a really terrible thing

BBM:
It's very simple to stop when the money runs dry in your case

Other than that
I don't think you can stop as long as you money is still coming

For a start
Delete all those app
Including your bank app
You can break your ATM

I’m trying too, deleting my app or breaking my atm card might be difficult

tensazangetsu20:
Follow everything I wrote up there and if you don't get a gf in 3 months you can sue me. I did the same in Chile with Spanish that I still don't speak very fluently. If I was in Canada, I could probably do it in a month.

Definitely, I created a tinder and bumble account recently ,

Also have a date with a mixed Dominican and Brazilian lady , 2nd week of September, hopefully it goes well.

But I’m now open to other ethnicities and races, not limiting myself to just Nigerians

I’m speechless, this community is amazing , I’ve started getting myself back, one week plus and I’m all clean, getting into a much bigger career with more pay, truly amazing but still im working on getting a girlfriend here and I’ve left my ex that I was dating in Nigeria .

I finally broke up and I feel so bad within myself,

Breaking up is so terrible and can be heartbreaking for the other person. But I just had to do it to possibly get a chance at healing and figuring out myself

Also I don’t think I would ever do long distance relationship again .

I’m so messed up , so so messed up ,

So foolish and weak .

I did it again just this evening , I think a demon is in me

I’m so done and messed up

UyaiIncomparabl:
You only have one potent solution— LOSE YOUR JOB and go broke. The condition of being broke in a cold clime like Canada will set you back to default.

I guess so , cause I’m messed up

ObalendeCMS:
Forget that your girl for Nigeria; some dude is busy screwing her like no tomorrow.

Nigerian girls are low-key prostitutes, especially if their lovers aren't near & they know they can easily get away with it!

I doubt she is though ,

Nnamdipapa:
Anytime you are in Nigeria, just send an email to a Nairalander. She does not charge a lot and will satisfy you even though she is very ugly.

Her email is
We4all@gmail.com.

Save this email bro and you will thank me later.

lol, you want to temp me further lol

Nnamdipapa:
I beg to disagree. I have seen lots of married men whose wives are physically present still addicted to fap and prostitution.
After marriage, op will lose interest in his wife and still continue with his addiction.

OP has to fight his inner demons before bringing a woman into his life.

I recommend a strong sex therapist.

Very possible, hence why I want to get healed so I don’t be a serial cheater in marriage

Nnamdipapa:
It takes an average of 12 months to process a spousal or family Sponsorship to Canada op is waiting having initiated the process.

There is nothing else op can do but to wait until application is finalized regardless of the amount of money. Am I clear enough?

True it’s a very long process in some cases it takes more than 12months upto 15 months or more, and you can’t hurry them, and you still can even get denied and have to re-apply again . So no guarantees

So was able to talk with my girl last night though didn’t go deep in the conversation but told her I saw an escort and all

Interestingly I thought that would be ground for breakup and I would start working on finding a girl here and all, but she said it’s not a deal breaker to her .

But still I’m very determined to stop this nonsense I’m engaged in and find my pathway to salvation and redemption.

Just suprised she didn’t see me seeing another girl as a deal breaker or grounds for breakup

akube34:
I remember your post, but can’t you find someone on a dating site?

I sadly haven’t , instead I was doing a long distance relationship and it’s been over a year now and clearly it’s not working at all and it’s been a mess. Cheating is an understatement, I’ve literally lied to her everyday for one year straight , what breaks me is how would I break up with her ,

Just curious, how best to go about this

She’s not done anything wrong to me and have been very nice and sweet since we crossed path, but I’m living a double life and she dosen’t know the other side of me which is this side of addiction

Should I tell her the whole truth and breakup with her or I don’t need to tell her anything and just break up with her?

Though she knows my family members and have their contacts, and if I tell her the whole truth, my mum or siblings might know the shameful thing I’ve been into for years now secretly, and I’m a pastors son too ,

Just complicated now, this stuff is hard .

Just to make matters worse and add more context to how complicated it is, I made a terrible mistake

She’s 22 year old I’m 27 year old, she’s currently doing her NYSC and she’s in Lagos, since all my family members have relocated I told her she can stay in our family house , since no one is literally there except I think my cousin or so .

So breaking up with her in this situation, how best can I approach it please guys?

I really need help

techgen:
Op…I nor believe your story, for same Canada wey my guys Dey get am for free…or maybe probably you’re not good looking and lacks composure with women.

Even with Tinder or bumble you’ll get free fu*k in Canada on a stead.

I joined tinder once, and have a profile there too, maybe I don’t have game lol I think,

Zaheertyler:
Let’s pray together sir if you don’t mind 🙏
It’s not a must..but a bigger authority than that of what is holding you bound can help you..
Not by my power but by him who is willing to help you
All I need from you is to open your heart and after I pray with you you will find a Bible believing church to be of service in

Would really appreciate it