₦airaland Forum

maziude:
Yes, you should be worried.

In fact , you should be more worried about your inability to complete a given task (based on what you said you can do) if you do get the job and the snowballing effect this will have on your Canadian career journey since you overstated your previous experience.

Save your advice. Doing the job is not the problem. I do that above and beyond.

Abeg, I need some clarification on a few things. I moved to Canada recently from the US, but I have employment history in Nigeria.
When Canadian employers use third parties like Certn to conduct employment checks, do they contact our employers in Nigeria? I'm going through a background check right now which includes employment checks. My experience is a little overstated and I'm worried the employment check will reveal this. Should I be worried? As far as I can read from the website, they say they will contact the HR of the company.

mariahAngel:
Op, don’t feel like you’ve lost him.
He’ll always be your brother, whether married or not.
It might take time, but you will get used to the new change.
Always try to reach out to him, even if it’s not as much as before.
Try as much as possible not to assume what you don’t know. And don’t act based on your assumptions.

Thanks for the advice

Vision4God:
@canttedra
Its a phase in life that people go through, give him time, still keep d communication open and if you hjve the opportunity to tell him, politely do so he understand your feelings.
If you have the grace, take out time, go visit him, be involved in what draws his attention(gardening, car wash, run few errands for him) and see him yearn for your presence/opinion.


When people get married, loyalty shifts. It takes great effort on every persons involved to keep the family bond strong despite being married.

Just to add, it's not just peculiar to marriage, people's behavior are affected by the environment they find themselves, the mentality of the people they hang around with, new found doctrine, laws, pressure....

Most important, is to have a teachable spirit, so one is able to discern right from wrong, true from false,.... Etc

Thanks for your great advice. It's just very painful given how close we were.

While we were growing up, my brother and I used to be incredibly close. In fact, we did basically everything together. Got in trouble together, got out of trouble together, played truants together, etc. Last year June, my brother got married and things have sort of changed.

He doesn't even reply my texts these days most of the times. He used to be someone I could count on, but now I'm not so sure. I strongly feel like we are losing the connection we used to have. I have not brought this up with him, because I don't know if he feels like I do. Perhaps it's the marriage. Is this how marriage makes people cut themselves off from their siblings? I'm not married, but he is.

I don't think we share that bond anymore. I feel like moving on, honestly. But I fear I may just make the situation worse If I go ahead to do that. Any idea what I can do?

With all the noise they make in Lagos, you would think they talk most about Buhari. Nothing is farther from the truth. The man is talked more about in the north than anywhere else. He also enjoys massive popularity there, and I don't see anyone winning the north in the next election who is not supported by Buhari.

irijuola:
Partnership is allowed. Thanks

Don't get it twisted. If you don't live in the same household (husband, wife, kids?), you should not be quarantining together. Except you want to lie at the airport.

irijuola:
DM me if you're traveling to toronto on the 26th and need a quarantine partner. Female only.

You should be staying alone in quarantine.

thorpido:
Do you want to marry her?

I love her. I'm not sure about marriage yet, but it could happen with her.

The recent topic on the home page motivated me to make this post, anonymously of course.

We were dating before I left Nigeria. We've been dating for about three years. Sometime last year I got a new job in the US (I schooled there so it was easy), and moved away from the country. Until a few weeks ago, we talked nearly every other day. It's always fun talking to her. But lately, things have started to get a little rough because of something that came up, and which I would like to believe is not my fault.

Prior to dating her, since I was a kid in university, I made myself a few promises relating to women:

1. I will never pay a woman's school fees
2. I will never rent a house or apartment for a woman, nor furnish an existing apartment
3. I will never sponsor a woman abroad.

Of course, this does not mean that I won't buy a woman gifts (I do that regularly), or take her on a nice trip. I just do not envisage myself pulling a woman up the social ladder. I prefer she makes her own growth moves as it relates to finances or relocation.

I made these promises based on the fact that I expected that whomever I make a partner should be able to make something of their own selves. I do not want to be anybody's savior or anyone's get-out-of-jail card. This resolution has made lose a few women in the past who thought the relationship should be based on what they can get out of it, and my girlfriend knows this.

The situation right now is that there is a path for her to come to America through studying. We already talked about her applying for graduate studies and then transitioning here into a better job. However, she now feels that would be stressful and may not work. Instead, she thinks it's better if I return to Nigeria this December to marry her and then sponsor her eventually to the US. That's not going to happen. This has created a rift and we have not been talking for a while now.

Am I being unreasonable here? How can I make her realize she can be her own person and not have to depend on someone else to "sponsor" her? It just drives me nuts that she knows this about me but is now vehemently insisting that this is the only viable option.