₦airaland Forum

Good morning house,

A brief insight into my situation right now. I'm in a serious relationship but currently getting advances from a guy i'm four years older than.

My man is ok alright but sometimes he can be so emotionally unavailable but I'm a hopeless romantic. He hasn't got time for me in recent times possibly due to the nature of this job. I've not been kissed ( just occasional pecks here and there) nor made love to in the last three months and I'm Hot out of my skin. I'm ovulating right now and it just compounds everything.

And there comes this young dude, tall, with broad chest and a cute charming smile and a soft sexy voice to match. Although a junior staff but he s confident and knows what he wants. The truth is, I'm loving the attention and hating the fact that I'm loving it all because my man isn't sensitive to my emotional needs. I am so afraid because I feel and I know that given the right circumstances I won't be able to control myself. I know I won't have the power to stop this temptation that has so engulfed me. It doesn't help because I see him everyday. I've never experienced this before and u really do not know how to go about this .

My man and I are currently having issues and I don't seem to bother. Because of this young man, I look forward to my job now cos seeing him makes me smile and wet at the same time.



I want to stop all of this and snap out of this ' nonsense' but my man isn't helping matters. I'll never forgive myself if I fall. I'll hate myself for it. What do I do?

Help me lest I fall....

Well, it so happens that bae cheated on me or rather should I say that judging by the contents of his chat between him and a lady on whatsapp, I want to believe he did. They shared a lot a intimate stuff to the extent that the lady was telling him about her period and he also saying thjat she might be pregnant. A statement that really got my attention was when the lady asked "who bleeped me?" And he replied "me" how does such convo pass between people that are currently not being intimate is beyond me.

Let's get things straight. I didn't set out to snoop at all, never been a fan but I wanted to check my whatsapp profile as it appears to other people and that particular chat got my attention. I confronted him, to say I was shocked was putting it mildly, I was hurt, disappointed and distraught. I love him so much and I believed in him. Though he doesn't have much at the moment but he s hardworking and I know that soon enough God will bless us. I gave him my all and it hurts pretty bad for him to do this. He explained that the lady was his ex and all that convo was just "playful banter". He begged and begged and swore on his late mothers grave that the had nothing together and that that's how they talk sometimes. I'm sure he must have used the word "please" a million times today but I just can't get over it. This is a man I gave my all and love despite his shortcomings believing that no one is perfect cos I ve got my flaws as well. I have heard his pleas and we made up, had a mind blowing make up sex *wink.

I'm sorry for the long tale but I need u to understand as much as possible. Though I have forgiven him but I must confess that d chat still plays out in my head. I don't want any man to take me for granted. Is cheating enough reason to end a relationship cos I'm thinking of doing just that. And knowing that this is a serious relationship with and introduction underway and marriage after, wouldn't I be contending with this issues in marriage? Am I over reacting? Are his explanations tenable? Is it possible to discuss something as intimate as that without any intimacy involved?

I need answers from matured members in the house. Preferably from the married folks. I ll stop here for now but will provide other necessary information in the comment sections.

Juicysam:
Feb 10th

My birthday make! 10th too

deejayharry1:
op try this, if you were the one who set up your phone when it was bought, then the anti theft was automatically enabled from company.. head over to the site below, input the gmail you used in setting up your phone... it will do 4... things for you, it will show you the options to choose.. either wipe your phone, have it ring out loud.. show you the location of the phone, or with the ftfront camera it will snap the face of whoever is with it and forward it to your mail.



http://mobile.pcadvisor.co.uk/how-to/google-android/3500315/how-use-android-device-manager/

Thank you so much. I have done as requested. It gave me two options of either erasing or have it ring out. I clicked on ring out. But can all these work if the phone is switched off?

Feel free to add yours, what are those things you want to and or should I say need to let go of in 2015...

So today, I challenge you to this:
Before the New Year…


1. Let Go Of Your Temper.

2. Let Go Of Petty Grudges. – Life is far too short to be spent
nursing bitterness and registering wrongs. If there’s someone in your
life who deserves another chance, give it to them.

3. Let Go Of The Idea That Everyone Has It Better Than You. – If the
grass looks greener on the other side… Stop staring. Stop comparing.
Stop complaining and START watering the grass you’re standing on.

4. Let Go Of Lingering False Beliefs.

5. Let Go Of Expired Ideals. – Growth is painful. Change is painful.
But in the end, nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you
do not belong.

6. Let Go Of Yesterday’s Tragedies.

7. Let Go Of Your Tendency To Avoid Problems.

8. Let Go Of Life’s Little Annoyances. – Don’t let dumb little things
break your happiness. Frustration and stress come from the way you
react, not the way things are. Adjust your attitude, and the
frustration and stress is gone.

9. Let Go Of Assuming Other People Are More “Normal” Than You. – The
only normal people you know are the ones you don’t know very well.
Period.

10. Let Go Acting Standoffish And Unapproachable. – We all need to
learn to be more human. Don’t avoid eye contact. Don’t hide behind
gadgets. Smile often. Ask about people’s stories. Listen.

11. Let Go Of The Idea That Some People Are Below You. – Even if
you’ve worked really hard to get to where you are in life, there’s no
such thing as a self- made person. Someone believed, encouraged, and
invested in you. Be grateful and be that someone for others too.

12. Let Go Of The Idea That You Are What You Physically Own. – You are
an incredible human being who’s entirely detached from what you have
physically acquired in this world. Remember to remain humble.
Ultimately, two things define you more than anything else: Your
patience when you have very little, and your attitude when you have
more than enough.

13. Let Go Of Wanting Stuff You Don’t Need.

14. Let Go Of Seeking Happiness From Outside Yourself. – In life, you
have to create your own sunshine. Happiness starts from within.

15. Let Go Of Wanting To Be Repaid Of Every Good Deed You Do.

16. Let Go Of All The Little White Lies And Charades. – How do you
build credibility? It’s not rocket science. Be honest. Follow through.
Honor your promises. Say sorry when you screw up. Be the type of
person you want to meet and spend time with. Be the type of person
whose actions, words and values always agree with each other.

17. Let Go Of Any Hypocrisy.

18. Let Go Of Putting Everyone Else’s Needs In Front Of Your Own. –
Give as much as you can every day, but don’t allow yourself to be
used. Listen to others closely, but don’t lose your own voice.

19. Let Go Of Fearing What Your Intuition Is Telling You To Do. – Fear
kills more dreams than failure ever will. So don’t let fear shut you
down; let it wake you up. Do one thing every day that scares you. The
more that you act on your intuition fearlessly, the more your
intuition will serve you. If you genuinely feel something, pay
attention.

20. Let Go Of Waiting For The Stars To Align. – Remember, you don’t
always need the perfect plan. Sometimes you just need to give it a
try, let go, and see what happens. Just do the best you can until you
know better. Once you know better, do better.

21. Let Go Of The Need To Get Everything Done At Once.

22. Let Go Of The “All Or Nothing” Mentality Regarding Success. –
Appreciate the grey area between the extremes of success and failure –
the journey, the process, the path – what you’re learning, how you’re
helping others learn too, and the growing process you allow yourself
to participate in. And above all, never let success get to your head
or failure get to your heart.

23. Let Go Of Criticizing Yourself. – Nobody is inspired by your
misery or self-deprecating comments. If you wish to inspire yourself
and others, be joyful. Have fun. Love yourself. Forgive yourself.
Accept yourself. Be unapologetically YOU.

24. Let Go Of Those Who Say You Aren’t Attractive Enough. – More women
worldwide are suffering from anorexia and bulimia than are fighting
breast cancer. There are similar statistics for men too. Love yourself
the way you are, because you are beautiful just the way you are.

25. Let Go Of Changing Just To Impress People. – Change because it
makes you a better person and leads you to a brighter future. Change
because you know it’s the right thing to do for YOU.

26. Let Go Of Needing Everyone To Like You. – Everyone doesn’t need to
like you, and some people won’t no matter what you do. Try not to take
the things these people say about you personally. What they think and
say is a reflection of them, not you.

27. Let Go Of All Negative Influences. Period.

28. Let Go Of Thinking That Giving Up The Wrong Things (And
Relationships) Means Failure.

29. Let Go Of The Idea That It’s Too Late To Start Over And Get It Right.

30. Let Go Of Putting Things Off For One More Day. – Stop
procrastinating. Stop wishing for it and start working for it. Do
what you have to do today so you can do what you truly want to do, and
be where you truly want to be, tomorrow.

"Sometimes the hardest part isn’t letting go, but rather learning to
start over in certain areas of your life". This is a challenge all of
us face- EVEN ME. If you’re struggling with any of the points above,
there is a clear path to the new beginning you seek. Your present
habits are simply broken and need to be mended. When you trust a
broken set of habits every day, it’s only a matter of time before you
feel broken too.



Compliments Of The Season.


Compiled by Innocent Igwe (K2I)


Culled from stelladimokokorkus.com

I really can't place my hands on how it happened and that's d hardest part. From the office down to the car and I went to eat. I really can't tell what happened between those periods. I took it from the office but I didn't bring it out from my bag@ the eatery. As funny as this sounds, I still have the feeling that the phone is somewhere.

I'm really trying to move on but its not been easy. You know how we ladies tend to get attached to things that belongs to us...

sKeetz:
You lil dumb aśs bîtch, I aint fûcking with you

So who are u messing wit? me?

Amaechi5:
just move on,what of me that just lost my dad after all the money we spent on his kidney.We are not going 2 cry out our eyes or kill our selves,life just goes on.So just move and face ur life by next yr and so better ones will still come out.

Awww! I'm so sorry about your dad. Here I am whining about a lost fone while you mourn you dad. I'm sure u will pick him over all the s5s in the world. May his soul rest in peace. You have really given me a new perspective.

Largas:
If it were an iPhone with tight security you would be worrying less. The thing with androids is with a mere flash, you will wipe everything stored on the phone even screen security pattern, everything will automatically return to Factory settings. If the founder were a bad guy he'd already flashed it and sold it for 60k, cool amount for Christmas flexing I tell you.
Just be prayerful that God may touch his heart and he may locate you and return your phone to you. It happens.

Amen! I sincerely pray so. Thank you very much

I lost my samsung galaxy s5 a couple of days ago. Thursday precisely and I have not been able to get over it. Immediately I discovered it was missing, I tried calling it but it wasn't connecting. Though the battery was lOw but it was on battery saving mode which would still take me about 7hours or so. I ve searched everywhere for it. But when I tried calling it on friday morning around 10am but it was switched off. Hard as it seems I just can't seem to let go. I feel so bad and I have cried my eyes out.

Is there any hope of recovery? Though I didn't activate the anti theft app. Can it be tracked? Please I need phone gurus in the house to come to my rescue....

The younger ones are quite ok and working as well. There s no rent cos its a family house. Utility bils are shared by them

The relationship is a serious one and we are looking at tying d knots first quarter of next year. Try as I could, I can't seem to get that image off my head and the outburst afterwards. Though he has apologised profusely but I just feel anyhting for him anymore.

Would it be ok to break it off when friends and family know us together?

I'm having some issues in my relationship and I'm hoping that the matured minds on this forum would help me in getting solutions for them.

I'm in my late twenties and currently dating a guy of 34 years. We have been dating for about 9months now. He knows my family and I have also known his. One of my major issue with him is the fact that he doesn't have an apartment of his own. Still lives with his younger bro and sister in their family house. I ve brought this up several times on d need for him to get a place of his own but he still feels comfortable in that house. I'm not even saying that he should get a 3bedroom but at least start with something. He keeps saying he s doing something about it but I'm not seeing anything. Am I wasting my time with this guy? Please note that he is working and can at least plan...

Secondly, I witnessed him lashing out at a female driver yesterday and couldn't get his angry outburst from my mind and the fact that he actually spat in the woman's face. I know we are all humans and prone to our 5mins madness but I'm scared that I might bear the brunt of his anger when we are married.

I love this guy and wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with him but I'm seriously having my doubts...

My boo and I had intimacy last week Saturday and I observed that I felt a peppery or rather should I say burning sensation after sex. And it has continued since then.
Everytime I urinate, there s this burning sensation I feel afterwards followed by the urge to urinate more, though in trickles. What kind of infection could this be? Is this some kind of STD? Should I confront him and should I be scared cos I really don't know where he has been but I trust him a great deal.

Any suggestions or recommendations? Anyone experienced any of this before? I am so confused!

Can it ffly for 25k? Where in lagos are u based? Pls charge and upload the other pictures. I m interested.

What is d going rate? Someine I know needs an accomodation. Wanna know if she might consider it. Where is white house located?

Someone I know is very much interested. How does one contact u? Can we @least see pictures.

Source: http://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2013/12/ibironke-sanni-who-killed-youwas-it.html?m=1

cember 28, 2013

Ibironke Sanni Who Killed You?.....Was It Suicide Or Murder?


Nikkai in March 2011
Ibironke Sanni is gone forever so she cannot answer the question i asked.....
If she didnt kill herself like her former in laws are forcing others to believe then someone
killed her because this beautiful woman was found strangled in her Ikorodu apartment.
She had the good life,had everything going for her except rumoured  hiccups in
her marriage.
I was contacted by a concerned person who feels Ibironke
 could never have killed herself because
she had plans,had too much going for her.

I checked her last messages on facebook and they seemed like
 she was talking about pain,about someone causing her hurt.
Yes,the man she married had just had a baby by another woman and the
pain was too much for her to bear but why would she kill herself and leave
her two young children?
whose finger prints lay on her throat area?
who strangled her?
could she have drank poison as her in laws suggest
and then strangled herself ?
Her parents insist someone strangled her!

see her message on her facebook wall and the picture she shared

On December 23rd,she shared this status

''Don’t wait for someone who hurt you to make it up to you; this kind of thinking
 only keeps your old wounds from healing. Waiting for them to change is not the 
answer. You have no control over them, and they may never change. Inner peace
 is found by changing your thinking, not the people who hurt you. And you change
 your thinking for yourself, for your joy, your peace of mind, your own understanding,
 and your bright future that has nothing to do with this person or what they did to you''.


A few minutes later Ibironke posted this picture which says a lot





On December 22,2013 she wrote this heart breaking words on her wall

''Only you knows it all.please answer this mystery for me
 without causing heartbreak''.


Now read Vanguard documentation of this sad story!




''Controversy is currently trailing the death of wife of the Personal Assistant to a 
chieftain of  All Progressives Congress, APC, Mr Sanni Ajibola Yusuf.
The woman’s lifeless body was  found, Monday, in her apartment in Ikorodu 
area of Lagos.
This arose from indications that  the mother of two, Mrs Ibironke Sanni, may have been strangled to death, against claims that she committed suicide.
But Policemen at Igbogbo division in Ikorodu were, yesterday, yet to ascertain the exact cause of the death of the 31-year-old woman.
The deceased’s father, according to information at Vanguard’s disposal, received a call at about 7.30 am , Monday, that his daughter had died, after allegedly taking a drink of Sniper, a brand of insecticide.But a member of the deceased’s family who spoke to Vanguard on condition of anonymity said the claim was untrue.
According to the family member, “This is because we feel there is more to her death than what we were told.We were informed that our daughter was rushed to the Ikorodu General Hospital where she was certified dead on Monday.Her in-laws were advised by doctors at the hospital  to go and report the incident at the nearest police station. Rather than heed the advice, they took the body back home, locked the door and left.
We visited our late daughter’s  home at Beach Close, Ita Elewa in Ikorodu, where we met the father-in-law, our daughter’s husband, Sanni Ajibola Yusuf and other members of his family. We asked what steps they had taken only to be informed  that  they had contacted the Area Commander on phone.

Our family pointed out that the issue at hand was more than mere calling the  police on phone. That was when the father-in-law and some members of our family went to Igbogbo division to report the incident.
Deceased’s family raises suspicion
At the police station,father-in-law to the deceased,Alhaji M.K Sanni, who is chairman, Neighborhood Watch, was said to have requested the Police to issue a report that would enable them bury his daughter-in-law,But the deceased’s family was said to have kicked against it, noting: “We insisted that an autopsy be carried out on her to ascertain the cause of her death before she could be buried.
“These are our reasons: 
first, we found out  that there were finger marks around the late Ibironke’s neck and suspected she could have been strangled to death.
“Secondly, the Sniper insecticide container her husband’s people said she took was found inside the trash bin in the kitchen while her body was found in the bed room. If indeed she took it, she would have left it close to where her body was found. There was also no drop of it around where her body was found.
“Thirdly, we were made to understand that the late Ibironke sent her husband a text message. But neither of her two phones were found when the police conducted a search round the house.
“Even when we suggested that the case be properly investigated by the Police, her in-laws kicked against it, threatening that we would regret our action, since we decided to bring such a disgraceful action to the public knowledge.”
Policemen from Igbogbo division were reportedly  drafted to Abike Jokogbola Sholebo estate in Oga, Ikorodu, Tuesday, from where the corpse was removed and deposited at the Ikorodu General Hospital morgue.
Police sources hinted that the deceased’s telephones were later brought by her father-in-law. Although Police sources could not state categorically whether it was a case of suicide or assassination but assured that it would be ascertained at the end of investigation.
“We have taken some extracts which will help us in our investigation,” Police sources hinted, adding, however, that they were awaiting response from the deceased’s family as to whether or not to carry on with the investigation.
 Vanguard reliably gathered that before her death, the late Ibironke who hailed from Agbowa Ikosi Local Council Development Area, LCDA, of Lagos, informed her family that her husband had put another woman in a family way who recently put to bed in Abeokuta, Ogun State''.........

Recte sapere fons! Repping UI till I die. Great place to be and to have been.

Greatest of the greatest Uites!

I think she is pregnant. Did anyone notice the bulge? Thay isn't just a big tummy, she is gonna have a baybee! IMO

I didn't know therehad been other similar threads. Its not everyday that one get to see a mod deactivate his account on nairaland.

I just wanted to know why he did and what led to it, that's all. If u know, I wouldn't mind knowing. Thanks

It so happens that I haven't been to nairaland in a while. I recently noticed that I couldn't find sexkillz thread on nairaland. I noticed also that he is no longer a moderator on this section.

What happened to him please? Did he leave out of his own freewill? Or was there an incident that led to it?

I remember I used to have a crush on him but backed out after I saw ogugua, that babe too fine! (Lol)m seriously, he was one of tthe people who reached out to me when I started writing my story in the diary section and I was touched. It meant a lot to me.

I know a lot of people do not like him but one thing I know is that he will surely be missed. Some nigerians really have a hard time obeying rules.I also enjoy his no holds barred replies he gives to comments in nairaland. Sometimes I feel that he can be quoite harsh for a mod though but then maybe that is just his own way of expression.

Sexkillz please come back, you have been ignoring fools since 1887 ( I hope I got the date right?) Don't stop now, nairaland misses you!

Welcome to Lagos! I remember when I used to school in ibadan. It would take me about two weeks to get used to Lagos hustle.

For some of us still trusting in the Lord to get our car, we have to resort to the use of the public transport to get to our various destinations.

Most times we don't enjoy this ride because their are some things that make it uncomfortable for us.

I have highlighted some of the things that pisses me off in these danfo buses.

1. I hate when the conductor doesn't have change and decides to join me with other passengers I do not know.

2. This particular one tops my list. It happens especially when tall people sit behind me and they end up poking my behind with their knees. People with bad posture also do this. It gets on my nerve especially if its a male.

3. I hate it when a conductor leans over me in a bid to collect his fares. With his usually dirty armpits and body odour that can snuff the life out of a mosquito. This happens mostly when you are sitting at the end of the seat behind the driver.

I know a lot of us have several unpalatable stories to share. These are my top three though I have several others.

Please share for our viewing pleasure.

NB: Moderator please move to the appropriate section.

Why are some christians so judgemental?

I went to my friend's house sometimes back. It was on a weekend, I think a saturday and the weather was very hot. Since we didn't have light in my neighbourhood and she had light in theirs, I decided to kill two birds with one stone. Seeing my dear friend and of course charging my phone.

Since, it was a very hot afternoon or rather should I say evening, I wore a short gown to see her. When I got to her house, after the usual pleasantries et al , she exclaimed "why did you wear this attire of sin to my house?! Don't ever wear this kind of dress to my house again!"

I felt bad and hurt too but I managed to mask that emotion with my usual jovial and boisterous manner. But I must confess I felt really bad about that statement considering the fact that her sisters were there. It wasn't the best approach in my opinion.

Which led me to the above question. I think that's the problem with some christians. If Jesus can dine in the house of Zacheaus, I wonder how hard it is to accept another individual even though their opinion differs from theirs? Or perhaps I was wrong in wearing that dress? Apart from the length, which wasn't too short if you ask me, it wasn't in anyway indecent.

Perhaps she is acting on the 'do not be unevenly yoked with unbelievers' verse? If christians do not relate with unbelievers, is it with those that have been saved already. How else are we going to propagate the gospel of christ if we don't want to be associated with people in 'attires of sin' like me?

I'm a christian, so this is not a christian bashing thread. I love my God and my fellow christians as well and muslims too!

@ignis, no its has stopped. It stopped on the 7th day. All the same I'm still seeing my doc. Thanks

Thanks love

Nothing of that sort. No D n C as well.

@Esulaalu,I can't remember stooling much. But I remember I felt pain in my lower abdomen resembling the desire to use the loo. I only took one bottle and I took d recommended dose as well. No overdose.

I know its definitely not fibroid, I doubt it but I ll be seeing my doc soonest. Just wanna know if others have gone through same.

Esulaalu ogiri oko, obelekun sunkun ki eru o ba elekun...

Thank you for the comments. I would also want to add that I took yoyo bitters about two weeks to my period. I read in the leaflets that it helps menstrual disorders. Could that be the case?

I might be wrong, its just an observation though. Seeing my doc on saturday. Hopefully it would have stopped by then.