₦airaland Forum

daryoor: we've all heard about how the whole temperament thing, and the conclusion that there is no perfect personality, that all has their pros and cons.

there are intelligent women that are aware of their potential, they are their opinion without fear, the are very active individuals. these women can make strategic decisions in the absence of their husbands. but the down side of this type is that the emasculate their husbands because the believe very well in their opinions and the can easily point out when the hubands leadership is far away from ideal, and this leads to a lot of instability.


on the othe hand there are very obedient women who just nuture you and your kids, no ambition or crave for control, they just want peace and stability, i know you can be intelligent and choose to be submissive but im refering to those ones that got you shocked when you heard they are graduates, the ones that actually cant contribute anything logical or thoughtful, the kind of wife that you cant discuss your problems with an be sure she cant ever give u a well thought out advise or suggestion, women like this have no interest in politics, culture or basic philosophy, she can only talk about fathiah balogun and p. square.

i know these two cases are extreme but which is better?

lets not get you wrong, intelligent or opioniated? this are two different things. its rather unfair when you comparing intelligency and gentility and who paint gentle like the mumu type. i think your topic is meant to be opioniated versus gentle. when i talk gentle, i dont mean the mumu type, i mean the ones who talk only when neccessary. let me give you an instance, im a very opinionated person and i have issues with people because nobody likes to be wrong and when you are wrong i tell you instantly, i dont mince words, recently i was talking to my ex, he said did i know why he left me, he said he actually left because am too opinionated. i have opinions on everything and it makes me look aggressive. i just smiled, he continued and said contrary to what every guy says, they actually love a submissive gal, submissive and intelligent... i prodded on it for a while and i came to the conclusion ihave to be diplomatic henceforth. a bit gently, a bit opinionated.

markpenk: I'm baffled at some of the topics that make frontpage these days. What is this doing on the frontpage? Aren't there better topics and things to talk about? This is why I hardly come to NL these days. *smh*

my dear, bring up a better topic , i wonder why you people always complain. E no dey tire you. if these kinda topics dont get to frontpage, im sure you will complain nairaland is boring. best of luck with your complaints. May God almighty hear all.

nenergy: We all have relatives working in big establishments both government and private and as a job seeker you might be amazed and even agitated that your aunt or uncle working in that MNC isn’t helping you get a job in his/her firm. My job search lasted 9 months and in that time I expected my aunt (who works in the HR Department at Chevron Nigeria) to help me get a job there, but no show. It baffled me that I was connected, but cannot download. 

Anyways, I got a job and being employed has exposed me to quite a number of reasons why your relatives can’t help you get a job where they work. Ceteris Paribus, they are;

1. No entry level vacancy: Let’s face it; there aren’t too many entry level positions available. Companies mostly want experienced hires- someone who knows the job well. So that your relative works there doesn’t mean he/she will recommend you without the requisite experience.

2. Strict recruitment procedures: Some companies have very strict recruitment procedures. Some are so strict even if you’re the M.Ds daughter you won’t scale through unless by merit. For example, the Daughter of the GMD of NNPC who failed the 2012 recruitment tests. So believe me, that your uncle can only refer you to the recruitment portal and nothing more. (Ceteris paribus o!)

3. Outsourcing: Most companies now outsource HR functions to 3rd party consultants. E.g Dragnet etc. Ok, so vacancy opens at your uncle’s workplace, but the recruitment process is handled by Dragnet. The best he can do is to give the web link and ensure that you’re invited for aptitude test. He can’t rig your test score for you. (Ceteris paribus o!)

4. Company policy: Most companies don’t employ people related by blood. So, that your uncle works there disqualifies you automatically. I heard of how a panel member at a job interview announced his relationship to a candidate and consequently excused himself. The candidate was his nephew.

5. ‘See finish’: There is something about humans that makes us protective and secretive of our source of income (o fe mo bi mo shen pawo). So your uncle will rather submit your CV everywhere else except his workplace so that you will not “see him finish”.

There you have it; reasons your relatives can’t help you get a job where they work.

Source:
The Job Seekers Creed - more than just a book.
http://www.facebook.com/TheJobseekersCreed

in my company for example, no two blood relation can work, i think its them being on the safe side, fraud and all that. there is this funny policy though, no amorous relationship unless its leading to marriage, if it doesnt lead to marriage, both of you will be terminated.

kamdyjenny: Pls, I need your suggestions and advice here. Am someone that loves to give a man some space and then letting him do what he wants. But trust me, I could be a great detector. I could monitor everything you do (I do this stlyishly because I don't want to be called possessive). Its rather very hard for my guy to cheat on me witout me finding out. Very hard! Because I must find out.

Ok now listen, the last time I caught him cheating on me was 6 months ago. I was out of town for 1 week and He brought a girl home. Ok when I came back, it took me just 2weeks and I found out he was with someone. I confronted him, normally he would want to lie but later he said the truth and confessed how everything happened. He said it was just a mere fling.

Ok! Now we were chatting normally some days back, and he was like can I let him have a fling? Thats is, I would be aware that he is with some woman and won't complain. My first answer was a resounding NO! So he went ahead to say he does not want to keep lying to me anymore because one lie begets plenty lies. Thus he wants to tell me when he is having a fling with a girl.

So, matured guys and girls. What do you think abt this? I prefer answers from matured minds. Would you let your spouse flirt??

the truth, as a lady, i think the guy is giving you the utmost respect, he isnt trying to play on your intelligence. but truth be told he is at the same time telling you all is not well with both of you. if that question was put to someone who marriage isnt on her mind, sincerely, no shit. the question you need to ask yourself is how commited are you, think about the worst case scenario, how it will impact you. if the thought scene wont hurt you much. Go ahead but if not, my sis..... no take am ooooo. i read a story previous months ago about gabriella union and her boyfriend who impregnated someone else. i think this issue is a personal thing. how far are you ready to go?