₦airaland Forum

No sir. Its right there look again. I said Datona Beach, yes its in Florida.

Magz:
Argghhhh just found out my shorty has been creepin around on me.

A month ago I was in the process of dumping her, but she begged me to stay with her, and I did. Things started going good. So good that we found a place together and decided to move with one another. Then, a few nights ago I find these txt messages in her phone from the guy she was with before me. Apparently, he came to pick her up 10 at night the night before we moved into the new apartment together. Two days later I found the messages, along with random texts from several other guys saying stuff like "Hey sexy, I miss you" Blah blah blah.

I became irate and threw her cellphone out the window, breaking it into a dozen pieces, and we had a HUGE fight.

Since then, I've left and come back. She cried and made love to me and swore she was done with sleeping around. She says she loves me, doesn't want anyone else, and that she was "rebounding" because she thought I was going to leave her and Blah blah blah.

Now my question to all you Nairalanders is should I stay with this girl, or should I go? We've been together for half a year and have developed strong emotional feelings for one another. I really care about her, but we have had some issues in the past and now this. Can a chick like this be trusted, or am I setting myself for heartbreak and disaster?

I am serious with this thread, and I welcome any advice.

That doesnt sound like any creepin to me. Sounds like she has a very great track record. Take Sauron's first advice and you will be ok. Better yet, perhaps you can stay a little longer until you get something more positive like HIV/AIDS. Good luck!

You are allowed to refer this time

Still going on over here. Where you at, I'm in the Daytona Bch area.

Who else is watching?

kashmo:
Just my thought, woman.

It was my personal thought too, so you didnt have to refer anything to my comment, as I wasnt talking to you personally in the first place. Continue!

^^^ Do you post for more than one persons on here? Ummm

hallame404:
Heard a girl saying , guys that do keep long finger nails most certainly tend to be gay.
NL, wats your take on this?

gay as fok.  certain things are just a no no on men for me. eeeeeewww! yuck! disgusting!

MRbrownJAY:
you are right about the fact that 2 months was way TOO long. . . . . 2mins is the maximum time you should give, any guy who beats you, to get the hell out of your life!

some women want to believe in LOVE so much that they knowingly close their eyes on negative matters in their relationship. love should only matter if/when everything else is ok. the ladies that stay married for years to such men do so because they believe that something else is more important than their well being.

But its easier to say when you are on the outside looking in. Its not that easy when love and other things like kids and financial woes are in the mix of things. I do understand why my mother stayed in her abusive marriage, even though I blame her for staying, I really do understand. Some women basically see no way out. In reality, things may be worse for her if she leaves. AND THATS THE DEFINATE REASON WHY MOST WOMEN STAY.


That is why I made sure I dont have to rely on any man for nothing other than sex, and that I can definately do without.

The meaning of marriage have significantly changed. People no longer get married for the right reasons. Besides that, we are from different cultures. Where I'm from, partially everyone there shacks before marriage, (with the exception of die-hearted christians) thats how you get to know someone before you "tie" yourself to him/her. Not saying its the right way, but that's our "culture" (practice).

All that with that particular person, happened only within a two months span. I put an end to it only but too late. I am sure many other women stay in them for years. I didnt make that mistake, I got the hell out as soon as I saw the way out.

There are great times that I had with men, but the bad they've done just erase the good. I just cant put the good times at the forefront. Sorry, the bad outweigh the good in men. Not my fault.

People, all this is in my past. I just find the courage to speak up on them. I no longer allow what happened in the past to happen to me now, as the first sign I see I am totally out. I use men, only thing I dont or cant do is abuse (physically). I dont see myself in a relationship. I wont and cant trust. Marriage? NEVER!!

Even if I heal from all the abuses. I WILL NEVER TRUST A MAN.

For the poster who asked about my father, he was the worse person to ever breathe a breath of God's fresh air. He died sometime ago, dont even remember when as I dont care. Life is good with me for the most part. I just need to let go of the hatred that I have and live a better life, and most importantly as someone already said, one with God. I will make that step when its the right time, hoping it wont be too late.

Oyinyioiza:
I'm dying,pls I eed your advice guys.I've two guys that I'm dating right now.One of them is a student.A final year student precisely.We spend less time 2gether bt I loved him. While d other guy is working.We spend time 2gether.He caring and loving and I also love him. Abeg advise me on what 2 do I'm tired of double dating,I want 2 have my own love.

Pardon me for reading too deep into your post, but it sound like you are already made your choice.

But on the other end. No one can make a choice like that for you. You have to choose which one you rather being in a relationship with.

Magz:
You should spend time being in a relationship with yourself

Thats what I am doing these days.

Dyt:
u r a strong woman i must say

Thanks. I try to stay that way.

janetso:
I am a 26 year old lady livin and workin lagos.i have a fairly wellpayin job and can say there is hope for career progression.My Fiance lives and works in the uk.He is a cool guy and i can say i love him to bits.The problem is we are
getting married soon and i really do not want to live in the uk.i go there on holidays and i think the place is boring and dreary.My fiance is a british citizen and is really settled over there and i can tell he doesnt want to come home anytime soon.am i selfish if i say i dont want to move?why cant he come home?am reaaly used to my life here and i just feel like am going to be uprooted to a new culture.i know our culture says u go wherever your husband goes but am just realy confused.whaddaya think?

cancel the marriage. stay home where you are happy.

cyntlating:
my dear i admire your strenght bt 4rm your post it appears u live with d men,ist rule no mata hw gud dey appear, neva pack to his haus until, mariage
2nd neva tell dem of your past fabricate wht u feel dey shud hear

I dont understand this. Could you edit and make it in English? Thanks

Acidosis:
I really feel your pain, and I must say 'you have taken the best decision' by posting on this forum. Just be calm, relax yourself and try not to think much about the past.

How can one just throw the past like its an object. The hurt is there, hard to get rid of. So I have to think about it on a daily basis. I will try to get some help though. For my own good i.e.

spoilt:
@OP

Do you know Leilah?
You can compare notes on taking abuse from men and doing nothing about it. .

What can one do when law tells you its domestic and you should go and work things out? They only help if blood, near death or actual death happens.

Not Nigerian.

Why I post on NL? I feel more comfortable telling a "stranger" my story. As I am too ashamed to letting people around me know how so much about me. I try to live a normal life, but mentally I am not normal. I know its serious but I wont ever let it consume my life. I have total control of the situation, but I feel better letting some of it out.

I am still on my nonpartaking break on NL, but I come here from time to time to check on the comments that yall have made on the thread I made about my sister and my ex. Thanks yall for the positive feedbacks. Still havent called my sister and dont think I will, atleast not in this near future. Even though, yes I know forgiving will probably make me feel better, but the way I feel towards her now, if I get a glimpse of her, I hope anger doesnt allow me to take my licensed firearm from my purse. Forgetting? Please, how can one forget such a thing? But anyways I am about to give another of my episodes why I really dispise men.

After dispelling that ex I didnt allow that to stop me from dating. But I quickly learnt that MOST if not all are the same kind of shyt. You may say its probably my bad choice/s but ofcourse they dont appear to be shyts when they approach, in all my relationships, they were nice guys, loving and all that, but as the relationships grew older, they started to treat me bad, perhaps they took my kindness for weakness. Or perhaps I gave them too much space, as I am/was never the one to cling or nag. If you want to be with your boys, I trust you enough to be with them as you claim, but ofcourse men always take things to a higher level.

Cutting the story short. This particular man we dated for approximately 7 months before the abuse started to get physical. On a rainy day as I remembered, he was late and I called his work phone as he said he would be working late, I didnt generally call, as he used to do all the calling (from his office I suppose). That day when I called, the phone rang and rang until it went to the voice machine. I didnt leave a message as it was the office.

When he arrived home, I asked him if he was just leaving the office and ofcource he said yes.  What he didnt know is how aware I was of his Irish Spring freshness. I querried about the freshness and I got a slap to the face (how rude of me to make such an "assumption". I took the slap and had to apologize. That night, I was giving the most derogative treatment. I was forced into having rough sex, no kisses, no carresses, it was just hardcore sex, my throat was squeezed, my hair was  being dragged and need not I complain. I had to tell him how much I enjoyed it.

A few days after that, one of his biatches called the house while he wasnt there. I asked who was calling, and I made a big mistake of my life. Seemingly, she told him that I was "rude" to her, as he came in storming mad one evening how I didnt know who was calling and I was rude to the person. I couldnt recall, as I didnt even remember about that particular call, as they were so often, but didnt know why I chose to ask who was calling that day. I got some serious beat down, for the reason that "I was being disrespectful".  So many other bad experiences with that particular man, but those are the two outstanding ones, relationship lasted for 9 months.

ssheryl:
, is it so wrong that i say wts on ma mind, i don't drag u down ma post to read n comment so u dont hv to, SOMEONE WANT TO SLICE MA THROAT OUT cos i don't stand for love, paliiiiiiiiiz!!!!!, love to me stands for disappointment, hurt n pain, its fake n pretentious, n honestly speaking, i just think people use it as a lousy excuse to satisfy their Hot ever thirsty appetites, y not jus hv sex n get it over wit?

I share the same sentiments. Needless to say I agree 50000%

You guys have been great. I wish all of you the best in all your wishes, needs and endevours. I need to take sometime to myself so hopefully in I shall visit again in a few months. Take care.

odiaero:
hehehhehe i laff with all her money will u marry her?

Thats a woman for real?

Right. I hear nothing talk bout it since the loss. Good for them, they are way too plenty.

hell noooooooooooooooooooo. when he recovers he will go with other women, most men are not thankful or greatful of the good you do for them.

FOR A MAN, I'D NEVER DO ANYTHING FOR THEM. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE

iice:
[color=#9900ff]I want that in writing [/color]

Plus everything he works 3/4 have to be mine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GdZ5TI-itA&feature=related

FL Gators:
Actually, they play football, not soccer lol

Did you watch the game?

Hypothetically speaking, I think you are right.

No I didnt, just got the score. Was talking the sport ingeneral.

What we they call football is no football at all, when the ball is in the hands 98% of the time.

Punt and field goal only time ball kicked in a "football" game. What kind of sh'it is that? Have the nerve to call football soccer

Can you believe they had hopes to win the world cup? Funny as hell, they play soccer, not football