I am a 26 year old lady livin and workin lagos.i have a fairly wellpayin  job and can say there is hope for career progression.My Fiance lives and works in the uk.He is a  cool guy and i can say i love him to bits.The problem is we are
getting married soon and i really do not want to live in the uk.i go there on holidays and i think the place is boring and dreary.My fiance is a british citizen and is really settled over there and i can tell he doesnt want to come home anytime soon.am i selfish  if i  say i dont want to move?why cant he come home?am reaaly used to my life here and i just feel like am going to be uprooted to a new culture.i know our culture says u go wherever ur husband goes but am just realy confused.whaddaya think?

Such factors should be considered before saying "Yes, I will marry you". You did not choose your fiance well.
It's not only about whether the guy is a 'nice guy' or you 'love him'. Your life aspirations must be in sync.
When a man asks you, "marry me" the right answer is not "yes" or "no", but a series of intelligent questions.

So how can I answer this question. You are not wrong to want to stay here, and he is not wrong to want to stay abroad. However, if you want to be married, one of you must have a change of mind. That is all.

Baby girl, you dont have much of a choice in this issue. Its either you decide to relocate or you dont go into the marriage at all.

i wont say our lifes aspirations arent in sync.we pretty much want the same things out of life.its just the location that kinda spooks me out.iv got no friends no immediate family and stuff so it just makes me think il be like a fish out of water.i know he plans to come home in the fiture as i know he has alot of business ideas he always wants to implement back home.i guess my main problem is the drastic change.

I can understand where you are coming from, but I don't know what kind of marriage that you should expect if you are not living together, let alone in separate countries.

i dont think u need to be apprehensive cos its a matter of his friends becoming your friend and you'll gain more friends cos u wont loose touch with those in Naija. If you can even join a class or club the better.
but i think you'll compromise before he does.

love knows no boundry. IF YOU LOVE HIM THEN, GO TO HIM

You have to go to him my dear, thats if you love him. One of the sacrifices of love. It'll pay you later, though you might not love it now. Believe me.

mishoo: One of the sacrifices of love.

I don't believe in making sacrifices for 'love'. By the time you start suffering from the sacrifice, your 'love' will have been replaced by resentment, and you will lose. Love is not a religion, so always use your brain.

i wont say our life aspirations aren't in sync. we pretty much want the same things out of life.

Hmmm. So your long time aspirations are in sync? If so, then that's lovely. I hope he's not the one implying that it's your responsibility to follow him to London because you're a woman. I hope he's a modern man.

It seems that you are just afraid of relocation. Hmmm. I don't know what to say; I also hate relocation.

then find someone else, cos if u marry him and stay back in nigeria, some one else will help u look after ur husband

anabell:

then find someone else, cos if u marry him and stay back in nigeria, some one else will help u look after your husband

SIMPLE & SHORT

janetso:

I am a 26 year old lady livin and workin lagos.i have a fairly wellpayin job and can say there is hope for career progression.My Fiance lives and works in the uk.He is a cool guy and i can say i love him to bits.The problem is we are
getting married soon and i really do not want to live in the uk.i go there on holidays and i think the place is boring and dreary.My fiance is a british citizen and is really settled over there and i can tell he doesnt want to come home anytime soon.am i selfish if i say i dont want to move?why cant he come home?am reaaly used to my life here and i just feel like am going to be uprooted to a new culture.i know our culture says u go wherever your husband goes but am just realy confused.whaddaya think?

cancel the marriage. stay home where you are happy.

@ Carolece, i feel u. Thats d damn truth.

Ur not wrong, Ur just not thinking smart and maybe that's cos you are not ready for the whole marriage thing.

What kind of a relationship did/do Ur folks have? Was Ur mum more happy than the average wife in her days? Was Ur dad more of a man than the men of his time? Maybe U should run this by them if they are anything U consider as marital role models.

U want to do that 'live and work in Lagos while Ur Husband is living and working in Sokoto' thing too? In Ur own case sef Ur fiance Sokoto cross water and no be pond or stream.

How does a new couple sustain a relationship in absence of themselves? How do U bond? Even if U rich pass those Arabs U'd still need the energy to travel to and fro very regularly to make time for bonding. Wetin U wan dey bond with sef, ring and title abi person wey be the reason behind the ring and the title.

Anyway, me I don't understand the modern world as much especially when it comes to love and marriage. I'm still traditional at heart.

Anyway (Part II), how does Ur man feel about Ur disposition and preferences? U want him to move to Naija for U?

Did anybody bother to check the date of the original post?

^lol! Wetin wan happen suppose don happen shey?

Anyway, another person in similar situ fit relate to the post and responses use am take do better thing with his/her own case. No be so?

Onchedu:

Anyway, another person in similar situ fit relate to the post and responses use am take do better thing with his/her own case. No be so?

Na true sha!