₦airaland Forum

*5*

LIBERTY FROM THEIR BOSS: Can you ever act anyhow or say incessant/insulting words to your customers when your Boss is right in front of you?! ( na sack b dat from yo boss or prolly a mental check up for you from him). The reverse is the case for Lagos conductors, they have liberty to do anyhow even when their boss-oga (driver) dey in front of them. Sometimes, they fight/argue/insult their boss and go scot-free. They have liberty ooo!


**RANDOM COMMENTS FROM A LAGOS CONDUCTOR**
[''ejoo! oo, no change ooo, i go join u na oo. ''] ... ''money for front'', [''Ojuelegba, masha kilo ooo, one chance going '' *dat one chance na likr 4seats remaining ooo*]
... '' arggghr, fyn geh e wale wa' na only feety naira '' [fine girl, enter its only fifty naira ] and if the girl no entet.. He'll be like.. ''mtsshhew *hiss* c as she be sef, she no fyn..'' commot for my bus jaree''

*4*

THEY'RE CO-ORDINATED:

Yes, Lagos conductors are very co-ordinated, they do thing serially. A Lagos conductor can never start collecting money randomly or from the back. He'll always be like... '' ejoo owo siwaju '' meaning (money 4 front), he will always collect line by line ooo. And you can never cheat them ooo. They'll catch you... This i think is a unique feature.

**More rolling, you can add yours oo**

mperoakeem:
Hehehe...

yu neva c anytin oo, save d laff.

phabuloz:
Omo na so e b ooooo,dem go even attach person to u make una go find change

hehehe, na so dem be ooo! Tanx..

*3*
THEIR MODE OF DRESSING:
arrrrrghhhr! Lagos conductors and their dressing ehnn,they are the most fashionable set of conductors. You'll see a conductor wearing a coat (no b suit ooo, na coat i call am) with short dirty jeans and then crown it all with a blackish (actually, white) bathroom slippers... Mehhnn! Isn't that fashion? .. Or ' a faded ankara with face cap and then combo'ed with football boot. The last one i saw used nylon to hold his already pulling shorts. Have you ever rocked a nylon belt? ... Lagos conductors are indeed Fashion trendy.

PS: are you kidding me? I made frontpage, lol. Shout out to everyone who commented and also to those who liked and shared. Shout out to those who viewed and did not comment.. Also, shout out to those who nomenclated me 'conductor' [lol, which i'm not] . And, Lastly [in buhari's voice] .. Shout out to the conductors in Lasgidi ..... Ibiiiiileee! Eko o ni baje oooo!!!

Lagos Conductors are the most dramatic, melodramatic and scintillating Conductors in the world (sorry, planet). What makes them special and unique?
Ok, 'lezz' go.

*1*
No Change ooo:
if you enter bus in Lagos and you don't hear this anthem from them.. ''no change ooo,'' then something must be wrong with you. (your ears actually). They tell you no change before you enter, but the funniest thing is that when you still enter with big money, how/where they get the change from i don't know.


*2*
NO NONSENSE:
They don't take sh*t from anyone. Infact, ''CUSTOMER SERVICES'' no dey dia dictionary.

---Conductor: ''madam, if u no wan enta abeg make u con dan jareee'' .... ''madam, e jooo dress jareee! Na onli u dey dis bus'' these comments, they make with full strength and arrogance.


-- more coming --

iamodenigbo1:
that 200 naira,for night

correct!!!

iamodenigbo1:
Hahahaha,5 naira,ok

bro, na d N5 own dey make u laff?! Oyaaa, tell which wan u do wel wel.

i'm very sure those who went to school or are still in any tetiary institution will fully understand this. While in school, there are things as a student we buy just to survive the hunger in our stomach especially those who live off campus.
I bring to you, THE DENOMINATIONS OF NAIRA in which students buy food to survive.


#1000: As a student, maybe while that lecturer is still in class and you are feeling hungry. You already start planning your list to cook a rich pot of soup. With this denomination, a pot of soup with assorted 'choppingsings' (meat,kponmo,shaki,stocfish etc) will do or going to eat in a 5-star restaurant. This level, is prolly when you just got admitted.


#500: The best thing this denomination can produce, is a pot of rice. Either jollof,fried or white rice and stew with fried fish or meat. Students, who live off campus will sure agree with me.


#200: This denomination can produce so many foods, it depends on the taste of the student. It can produce; a plate of rice in iya ama's canteen, a plate of swallow in iya basira's shade, bread/indomie and egg in mallam musa's buka, rich tea and biscuit/bread, bread and sardine/egg.


#100: arrghr! This is the Student's favourite denomination to produce food. It produces food that temporarily holds the stomach especially during lectures. They are; egg roll and coke/fanta/sprite (for my school na N50 oo), sausage, gala and zobo, chin-chin,plantain/potato chips. While at home - bread and akara, indomie and egg,combo of fried potatoes,plantain and yam and stew sauce (na fries we dey call am ooo), rich drinking garri (enuff milk,sugar,groundnut and cold water dey dere).


#50: this denomination is used when 'owu' don dey blow boizz (especially end of semester, during exams) we use #50 to eat during the day. And that is semi-poor drinking garri (ijebu garri-N20,sugar-N10,groundnut-N10,pure water-10) *that garri go swell pass tiwa savage 'belle' before we start to dey drink am*


#20: This denomination is used to buy biscuit and pure water For food as a student or biscuit and groundnut as food and sometimes to quench hunger temporarily.


#10: it is used to buy pure water. Sometimes, when you are hungry in school and you have no money. You just buy two pure water (Behind babes dey call am sachet water *na dem sabi*) and use it to full your stomach to the extent that you wont feel the hunger again. (it works for students*me*)


#5: darn! I know this denomination, seems extinct in Nigeria. but, it will shock you to know that some students still use it to buy their 'seemingly' food. What they do is, they use it to buy chewing gum. And they keep chewing the gum because they believe as they chew gum, they won't notice the hunger. Hehehe


*feel free to add yours and your denomination of naira*

Itsyoboi: ceeSleek

dajoaneke:
When I heard Chris Brown & Justin Beiber rap I couldnt believe my ears. Switch is good choice for Banky

u r correct..

rawpadgin:
dude's a dope rapper, shouldn't go back to singing

gbam! True talk

chidekings:
truth is that niggar can rap,with more flows than many wack so calld A class rappers in nigeria.

truth bro! I was marvelled by his lines from.. Dj jimmy jaat ft banky W, phyno. Damn! BANKY killed it.

I have noticed that BankyW has started rapping in most of his recent songs and features.
Is the E.m.e boss changing his style of music to R n B rap?! *Who has noticed it*

Blackett:
If you cannot talk, make them talk. Make them talk about themselves and what they do, their favorite telemundo, novels, artistes all those things that make them go all mushy.

challe. You are on point.. thanks alot! I'll definitely also try this out. Just that some girls ehhn, they hardly open up. What you may think that'll make her mushy, might just be what she sucks, thereby making the convo. Dry.

tobillionaire:
U kno wat start a convo abt educatn.... Girls are always interested in educational talks bet me, they'll pretend dy like it even if dy dont

thaanks bro, i really appreciate. I'll try it out.

Glowstone:
op put here maturrd answer only

they know this, bro. by their quotes we shall know them(the matured)

vjsmiles:
take viagra

we are talking serious matter here niggar. Try the next post, if you are not interested.

cutieberie1:
hmm...*yawns*

oooh my sister, it is well with you. I know you have not eaten for days now, and d garri u had just drunk now as exhausted. It is well, food will come; have faith.

Goodday nairalanders. please i need your help. I'm a very social person, but i have a very big problem with ladies.
Anytime i am with them, i find it hard to generate topics, as in; bring out topics to make the conversation lively. If its not, ''how are you?!'', 'how was your day', how you doing''.
The worse is when, she is a mono-syllabic responder: fine, ok, cool,alright. And she'll never ask about mine, like i said i'm very social but when it comes to this type of species my talent just ceases.
Please guys any help/tips in making a dry conversation interesting?! Ladies, what do you like to hear and discuss with a guy?

Jameselias:
And i challenge God to do any thing about it, what can he do about it? What has he done about it?

watch your words man.

Dammytrager:
use microscope to look for me on the list

you gat guts, e b like say na number3

ArcToyin:
me keh. During my school days my mate knw me as 'omo teacher' & i knw wan fall my hand if i go do da one.

lolzz, egocentric ...

sparko1:
Please don't try to be a Nerd by submitting early, make sure you check, double check your work before submitting. According to my friend, "na who pass na him know book oh! When results are released no one will care if you were the first to submit.

true talk sir. *thanks* so, tell me. Are you on d list?

Dammytrager:
I have never carried expo in my life

so, tell us. Where are u on dat list?

ArcToyin:
Ur brain dey dia

thanks challe. Shey yo kine person dey dat list? Or na xpo carrier u b

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alutacontinua:
I think there's actually variety:
Yam
potatoes
plantain
Bread
fruits
pasta
Beans can actually be made into a million and one things
cereal
different kinds of soup
Pancakes
eggs etc etc

Think outside the box and you'll realise Naija is actually blessed with abundance of food

interesting, thanks.[color=#990000]

alutacontinua:
I think there's actually variety:
Yam
potatoes
plantain
Bread
fruits
pasta
Beans can actually be made into a million and one things
cereal
different kinds of soup
Pancakes
eggs etc etc

Think outside the box and you'll realise Naija is actually blessed with abundance of food

interesting, thanks.

alutacontinua:
I think there's actually variety:
Yam
potatoes
plantain
Bread
fruits
pasta
Beans can actually be made into a million and one things
cereal
different kinds of soup
Pancakes
eggs etc etc

Think outside the box and you'll realise Naija is actually blessed with abundance of food

interesting, thanks.

diddydiva:
what a funny post

thank you.

auntymi:
So if she stil giv u more lite u'll s..ex her inside a movin molue abi, smh

auntymi, Firstly, i'm not a pervert; secondly, thanks for commenting.

pasqal09:
Pevert OP!

mista pasqal, you are NOTICED.

42n8dzydoo:
Counter thread?

yezzbozz.. Cc: lalasticlala,fynestboi,richiez,olawalebabs do the needful 'cos deydonknoe!

Inasmuch as there are various type of people who indulge in exam mal-practise(expo), i can boldly say, also; there are also some type of people who will never engage in 'expo' no matter what, even if the earth falls. These are the people:


* THE SCARED TYPE *


OH my gosh! This set of people are so scared to the bone, infact they don't even like answering their seat partners let alone for them to carry expo. When an invigilator looks at them, they always feel butterfles in their stomach. They are always scared of being caught.
~GUESS WHAT?!~ They are the 'butty' types, they are not intellectual mediocres (dem no b badoo, dem no b olodo)


* THE EGOCENTRICS *


These set of people are just too proud, they are the types that show themselves during lectures, they always bombardically answer and ask questions in class, they know them as the badoo's of the class. So, they'll rather exercise their ego, than for them to fall their hands by practising EXPO during exams.
~GUESS WHAT?!~ They are apparently brilliant but not perfectly brilliant, just that they are proud.


* THE CHURCHY *


Hmmmmn, you saw this coming right?! These are the type of students who preach in class during before and after lectures, they always preach about ''Exam Mal-practise'' in the class and school campus fellowships. They don't indulge in EXPO, instead they'll rather fail and have C.O (carry over) based on their religious belief.


* THE OLOWO *


They say, ''money is the root of all evil'' (owo ni koko) ... Remember our topic, ''those who can never carry EXPO in the hall'' .. These olowo people don't need to carry expo, they are the party type, the lazy type, the 'i no dey go lectures type'.. They don't need to carry expo, they just sleep in the exam hall or look around because;
(1) They have machinery who is writing their paper for them in the hall.
(2) They'll later go and sort the course(especially for the ladies).
These set of people can never carry expo, their money they always help pass their course.
~GUESS WHAT?!~ The olowo-people are very dull (olodo), school doesn't bother them, let alone failing; thats why they don't carry expo.




* THE NERD *


Yaaaaaaayi!!! This list will never be complete without this set of people. They don't need to carry expo because they are exceptionally intelligent. This people always finish before the time, they are 'bookaholic', they eat book,drink book,date book,party book.


~GUESS WHAT?!~ They are the reserved type, they don't talk too much. They are giftedly brilliant, lecturers know them. the last thing they'll ever do is to carry expo.




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bless! [ItsYoBoi: Ceesleek]