₦airaland Forum

maasoap:
More reason to take her away from her for good. Why would you be so comfortable with not being able to speak to your daughter regularly despite calling her guardian and making demand to speak to her?

I speak to her regularly but sometime when it comes to video call she always make excuses that she can't turn on video because the network is bad

mariahAngel:
How can your sister be that cruel against her own niece!? Na wah!

Our mum sister did worse when we lost our mum , I prayed for things to get better for me in this country so I can bring my daughter. I am tired of thinking and crying g every night

achillesfoot:
I hope you know your sister won't release your daughter to this friend of yours... It's like asking a gambler to release his winning ticket..

I know she won't because she will not want the money to go to someone else and if she refuse to release her I will involve human rights but I hope it will not reach to that level

jesmond3945:
Your daughter living with your friend is even worse. He might molest her or expose her tp molestation. Nigerians like to extort using different guises. Infact they feel entitled like money grows on trees. Find way and bring your daughter to join you. Let her continue staying with your sister till you put everything in place

I am a woman and my friend is also a woman I don't know why a lot of people thinks I am a man lol. I strongly believe she will take care of my daughter better than my own sister

mariahAngel:
Have you spoken to your daughter recently?
How did she sound?

I spoke with her on the 19th of August she was okey even tough she didn't talk much, sometime I feel like she has a lot to say but she is scared of my sister. I know when she will be with my friend she will tell me everything she passed through with my sister.

gbogboija:
Hmm. Your sister is your sister no matter what. You may think you won't need her again after you must have removed your daughter under her care, but life is very funny. You may think your daughter will be fine with your friend, but it may be opposite. You may think your daughter will not be molested by your friend, but it may be opposite. Use wisdom to talk to your sister, let her give you the estimate of what she think your daughter will need in a month apart from her school fees. Then, you can start giving her what you can afford for her children school fees and feeding as well. If possible, empower her so that she won't need to be calling you every time she needs money. Mind you, things are very expensive in Nigeria these days. I pray God will bless the work of your hands over there in Jesus mighty name.

My sister is not jobless she has a clothing store and her husband sell appliances

Oziens:
Where is the mother of your daughter?

I am her mother

smasher1:
Whether you are financially buoyant or not, if you send someone 300k in Nigeria, they must not disturb for at least one month or more.

True I was not expecting her to bother me again until October

SocialJustice:
How old is the child?

She is 8 years old

IAmTobore:
Ah!� Auntie, take ur daughter from her. Look for a way to take her to Germany. I'm sure you can always find away. Even if it means you have to sign an agreement with someone. By the way, what about your daughter's father? Try to think out of the box.

Bringing her to Germany is not possible because I don't have papers , her father denied the pregnancy he has never met her

achimendy:
First of all that your friend is he or she married, is he a Male or female?? How do you also trust this said friend??

Secondly get somebody's to be checking on your daughter regularly before you take her with you.That your sister might be wicked.

She is a single mother of one and I strongly believe she will take care of my daughter better than my sister

Sunnyshinylight:
That child is seriously suffering, your friend would do a far better job, and your sister will be amazed and humbled.

Be wise and act very fast

You are right everytime I speak with my daughter feel like she has a lot of things to tell me but she is scared of my sister

Harmlesspill:
First, I want you to understand that your sister is not 100% evil like people here make her out to be. She just lacks the proper understanding, she can be a good sister, but she feels that she has a chance now to live large without knowing that things are not all rosy. Have you talked to her about this? Have you explained your condition and how do you make your money over there? Remind her that she is your sister and as such she should feel sorry for you. Speak to her politely, ask her to see your daughter the way your mom would have cared for her if she's alive.

She is aware of everything I can hide such information from friends but not from my blood sister she doesn't care about my life situations all she care about is the money.

Evolutionlove:
Sigh Nigeria and Bearing too many unwanted kids. Most Nigerians are CURSED walahi. You that you are In a better and a prosperous nation have Just only one child but she that she Is In a Cursed, No Progress and Evil Poverty Headquarters has 4 Children. Chai..

She has three plus my daughter four

SocialJustice:
Take your daughter away from her. Before it turns into something else. Why can't your daughter relocate to meet you?

I don't have papers yet

YourFavorite21:
I think the best option for you now is to take your daughter to a good boarding school, then she can only go to your friend's house during holidays, Nobody can treat and take care of a child like the parents.

I am not a fan of boarding school I want her to attend a day school and with my friend so I can video/ call her anytime I want so she won't feel left out

ibinaboonline:
Considering the going ons in our country these days, no matter how much you trust your friend, I wouldn't recommend handing your girl child to him, even if he's married. I mean, girl children aren't safe in their own homes living with mom and pop. Come to think of it, how safe and loved and properly cared for is your daughter in your sister's hands who clearly see you (in extension, her) as a cash cow? It's not just about the guardians, it can also be the environment. That's why my first question is, where is the girl's mother? A situation like this have a tendency to end in emotional or even physical injuries for the kids. Where is the child's mom?

I am her mother my friend is a female I strongly believe she can take of my daughter better than my sister

OkoRemi2023:
what of their dad? single parenting have a big advantage and people will say otherwise


where is your mom?



is your married sister the only siblings you've?



don't ever keep your kids with your friends, the only worse thing your sister can do is not to feed them well but your friend my abuse them verbally, sexually and psychologically



and do you've direct communication with the management where your kids are schooling, if you don't, you goofed. you have make your jobless sister to taste your hard earned money and you don't want him to want more?

Her dad denied the pregnancy, my mum is late , I also have a elder brother who is married with kids but I don't trust his wife with my child. I don't have a direct communication with the school, she is not jobless she is a business woman she has a clothing store

Acidosis:
So what's good about OP's relationship with her sister?

@OP, it is a difficult situation. Your relationship will never be the same again with your sister if you go ahead to involve your friend. You also have to consider your friend's stability. Is she married? Is she opened to relocation? What happens if and when she decides to relocate? You'll take your kids back to your sister?

My advice is to hasten your kids' travel arrangement. What exactly is the issue? You have been sending home some money...so what's the issue?

My friend is a single mother of one, she is a tailor and living in the same town with my sister but a bit far away. I can't bring my daughter to germany now because I don't have papers and I am not eligible for work I am not financially buoyant.

Offpointng:
A big red flag and I advice you do something very fast bout it. but what bout ur mum?

Our mum is late

mariahAngel:
Na wah o!
Even babymama never demand reach that level.

What about your daughter's mother?
How are you sure most of what you're sending is not spent on her children than your daughter?
Are you sure she's treating your daughter well?

I am a female lol I am her mother. I am sure she is not taking care of her well because sometime she doesn't want me to video call her

Hafizah:
How well do you trust or believe in your friend, is your friend a female or a male? A female would be better, secondly if its a male, hope the said person has an understanding wife. If your friend is a good and reliable person, pls take your daughter from her, I dont know why some siblings can be so inconsiderate. Cant her husband pay his own kids fees. Its very annoying that your efforts are not appreciated. If your friend is trustworthy and kind pls take your daughter and make sure you hurry up plans so she can join you soonest. All the best

She is a female and I am also a female, she is my childhood friend my sister knows her well and I trust her too and I strongly believe that she will take care of her better than my own sister.

Offpointng:
I've got a feeling she's even maltreating ur daughter at the moment

Me too I have a feeling she is not taking good care of her because most of the time she doesn't want me to speak with her on video call

Blackdeewhy:
1. Get a GOOD catholic boarding and enroll that girl in.
2. Come CLEAN to your sister about your finances.
3. Get a SINGLE lady you trust in your family to look after your child
4. Leave her with your aunt and STOP sending shi shi to her or your aunt.
Pick ONE

She is aware that I don't have papers and i am not financial buoyant, I don't have anyone in the family who I can trust with my daughter my friend is the only person I have in mind

Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.