₦airaland Forum

eyinjuege:
What you can do is limited since you're abroad with no papers and can't rush down to Nigeria.
Even the human rights people will likely want to see you face to face.
Why not involve your brother and ask him to speak with your sister so she can release your daughter to your friend? Tell him what she's done with the money you sent to her despite knowing how you're struggling abroad with no help.
Don't send anymore money to her, no matter what she does.
Also call her husband and tell him she didn't pay your daughter's school fees and instead paid for their 2 older children. That's not fair at all

Oh really I tought it was possible for me to contact them via video call so my friend could represent me , I didn't know that I have to be present thanks for the information. I can't involve my brother because he and my sister are not in good term since 2015 even if I tell him what is going on he will not do anything. My in law is aware of the situations I spoke to my in law this afternoon he told me he was busy I should call back at 7pm I have been calling him and he refused to pick up. I am tired and I don't know what else to do

Victoria938:
Is she your blood sister or a step sister... If she is ur blood then why is she being so wicked.

Yes that's wickedness... You are not her husband to sponsor her children in school You can only help her but it's not a must or your responsibility.

I would advice you bring your daughter out from there because if any thing happen to you abroad and you come back to Nigeria empty handed, she will mock and rain insult at you.

Yes she is my blood sister we are 3 from the same mum and dad

[quote author=Melap post=116195187][/quote]This is a faceless forum just because he or she said he is a security person that mean is the truth.What does it proof that the person is truly a security person or are you both working together as scammers and you people want to scam me in the name of security. Please we are not arguing my friend will do the job for me my sister knows her and the neighbours knows her too if she want to collect information she can get it easily without any personal security. Where our power will stop the human right will continue on our behalf. The only people I can confide with is human right

Melap:
Someone asked you for the location of your sister so she can help you check on your daughter as a security personnel. Did you answer that person. You want to run things on social media and from far away Germany how will that work? If your sister comes up with the truth now on this site how will that help you.

My friend is in the best position to help me she went there this morning to check on them and nobody answered the door , everything I said about her is nothing but the truth, if I lied she should come and tell the truth.

Acidosis:
Put your evidence together, i.e., the calls she ignored, her WhatsApp status, etc. so you can have a solid case.

Also send her a message informing her about your friend's visit. You'll need all this. Where is she based? Lagos?

Thank you for the suggestion I have all the evidences with me , she lives in lagos

mariahAngel:
Why is your sister being so cruel and difficult?
What rights does she have to still keep your daughter against your wish?
It seems she's used to bullying you.

It'll be her fault if you're forced to use extreme measures to get your daughter out of her place.
To make matters worse, she's not ready to talk things out.

Maybe you should create a thread concerning these latest happenings, so that people with useful information can advise you on how to go about things.

In the meantime, try to calm down.
Everything will be alright eventually.

Thank you I am trying to stay calm because I don't want to do something stupid then regret later after all she is my sister but I am giving her until Friday if I don't hear back from her I will involve human rights to help get my daughter out of her place. I wanted her to release her to my friend this week so she can at least go and look for a new school for her because school resumption is next week. She can't enroll her to the new school without her being in her custody because if we enroll her and paid everything for the new school and my sister refuse to release her it will be a waste of money too.

Melap:
Your sister may have seen this thread and all the plans you discussed. Nairaland is a very public space

That's not a problem I didn't lie about her, if she has seen it and I am lying she should come up with the truth instead of her trying to deprive me from my daughter , thats not a good thing to do she might push me to involve human rights which will not be good for all of us. I don't want to do it but if she carry on with the attitude I will have no other option than to involve human rights.

mariahAngel:
Hey God!

And your daughter is still living with her? I mean, your sister.

Yes she is with my sister and I haven't spoken with her for a week now

mariahAngel:
How are you?
How's your daughter and everything so far?

Hello dear I am not OK I have been calling my sister since yesterday she refused to pick my calls and I have sent her a lot of messages pleading her to pick she has seen it and refused to pick up or text back. I ask my friend to go and check on them this morning and she went to the house but nobody answered the door. My sister is online and has updated her WhatsApp status few minutes ago but she just don't want to speak with me and I don't know what to do

Teller00:
Pls sir just be very careful. this is Africa and lot of evil is really happening here. I will advice you instead of giving you daughter out to someone else pls leave it with your sister. Make Good savings concerning your daughter and take her with you to Germany. with that her live will be secured just to avoid further issues with you sister and the new lady. Nigeria is full of evil�

I am a woman

Nonam:
I know.

Your friend will do it out of her good heart towards you She knows and understand your life struggles. As for your sister, she just want to sacrifice you for the betterment of herself and her own children. Even that amount you are paying on your daughter school feels is too insane.

Watch out: Your sister will hate and fight against your friend.

Yes I know she will hate her a lot that's why I have to find her a new apartment very far away

Nonam:
Some friends are more better than sisters. I will assure you that you are paying like elephant over your daughter, but is is eating like an ant.

Take your daughter away from that evil sister of yours who can never feel your struggles.

I agreed with you some friends are better than our siblings. my friend advised me to change my daughter school to a good affordable one and we have done all the calculations and the amount she requested monthly is nothing compare to what I was sending to my sister she at least can feel my pain and she doesn'twant to drain me like my sister did . My daughter living with her will reduce my stress and save me money too at least i will be able to save and look for a way to bring her to germany.

Trendylove:
Imagine I don't understand how some family members enjoy draining their blood financially if you want she can come and live with me together she will be coming to school with my kid sister together in the same school. And the school fees is affordable and the teach very well.

Thank you so much for wanting to help me but I have my friend who is going to look after her. Thanks again for your help.

snoopz:
Not allowing video call? Na red flag be that o
But at the same time, the devil you know is better than the angel you just met, you don't know what that your childhood friend dey plan for you u till it has dawned on you.
Either you explain your condition to your sister so that she can stop bleeding you or find another family member... That friend should be your last resort

She is aware of my condition but she doesn't care about me all she care about is the money . I don't have any other family members who I can trust with my daughter my friend is the only one I trust and I strongly believe she will take care of my daughter better than my sister

kress2m1:
Guy, put her into a boarding school for now if you can afford it. Get her a phone that you can be in regular communication with her and always let her know that you love her. Explain why you can't be in the country at the moment. Make sure say she knows everything about you, so no baggar can come adulterate the fatherly love she will go looking for when she reaches that age.

No carry your daughter go meet any friend o.

If nah woman, most likely you daughter will be maltreated.

If nah man, on top maltreatment, sexual abuse will enter the chat. Seen and heard so many instances for this to even be an option. Uncle sef the abuse niece of blood brother.

Unless your mother is no more, keep her where she is for now and quadruple your hustle to ensure she comes to join you in the next 2yrs. Meanwhile, regularly contact your daughter, let her know that you love her and this pain she is going through is for a short while and you're doing all you can to ensure that she comes to join you, but for her not to mention it to anyone.

Trust me, it will go a long way towards helping her ride out the misery you suspect she is going through, because at the back of her mind, she knows that daddy is riding to the rescue and all will be well soon.

Even wife wey person trust, once another child from another woman enters the matter, you MAY see another side of them that even they were not aware was hidden in them. They see it as a threat to their own children and a constant reminder that you're capable of having another child outside.

I am a woman

AyoEniafe:
Hello OP, I totally understand you.
Same thing happened in my family, so I think you can use my advise.

My aunt in the US left my young older cousins with her younger brother in Nigeria (my uncle).

Uncle's wife wasn't so cool with the boys when my uncle now later got married.

My aunt was stressed, she had to move the children to my grandma's house.

Later had to move them to a woman who she's never seen before.

Interestingly, this woman cared for them like they're her children until they graduated.

LESSON: FORGET ALL THIS PEOPLE SHOUTING "BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER"

Not all blood is thicker than water, some family members are just users/opportunists.

Your sister is obviously using you as her major source of income.
Don't let that affect your love for your sister anyway! The country is hard for her, no be her fault.

If you feel uncomfortable with the child being in your sister's place, then you might want to make a careful inquiry about your friend.

Research about your friend's character, her love towards you, how she treats people around her. Do your research well abeg.

As for people saying you should take her to boarding house, your daughter will be deprived of love in boarding house oo. And when it's holidays, she'll have to vacate the hostel, so.... boarding house is out of it. Just pray about this matter sha.

Thanks for the advice , she is a childhood friend of mine so I trust and I strongly believe she will take care of my daughter better than my own sister. Boarding school is a big no for me I have watched a lot of cases where teenagers were being bullied ,sexyally abused and murdered in boarding school and I will never send her there.

achimendy:
Ok then.

One more thing, since you're far away make sure that whenever you call they must give your daughter phone so you can speak to her personally to know if everything is going well with her.

My opinion though.

Yes I will be calling daily

4ckyou:
you don't have a choice for now, if you take the eight year old you will still be sending her money for the 1 year old meaning she will still be milking you dry, so the best option for you is to get your papers and take your kids to stay with you, for now there's not other choice

My 1 years old is with me she was born here in Germany.

NA1RALANDER:
What about your daughter's father ??
I guess you maligned him and refused him access..??
Well.. do you..

He denied the pregnancy he hasn't met her before

realtalk19:
Chai! Devil in human form. If I have such a child in custody,I will take care of the child same as my other kids knowing so well my sis cares for us all. She just ruined her sister's trust.

Same as me if the case was reserve I will take care of her children like my own without being greedy. I don't think I will ever trust her again , as soon as my daughter leaves her house I will mot hate her but I will cut her off

benebaby77:
Please, don't waste your to remove your daughter from her care. The fact that she doesn't want to talk to your own daughter is the sign that your daughter is being maltreated.

Please, don't waste time at all.

I will not waste time again I will talk to my sister tommorow

Fantazy:
Bro, take your daughter away from your sister! There's a 95% probability that she is not taking care of your daughter.
I have such as an aunt! My mum died in 2016 I had to bring my sister to live with our aunt till I get my own place cos I was sqauting with my friend (after relating) it with her and she accepted
She maltreated the hell out of my sister (her niece) for that matter. I had to take her to live with me in my friend's place, thanks to a tolerating and understanding friend I have.
Most family members are not reliable in this present generation. Its so unfortunate!

I am a woman. I will take her away from her soon , I will call my sis tommorow to tell her that I don't have anymore money to send her and I want my daughter to go and stay with my friend so she will put her in a cheaper school she will cover the expenses until I get back to my feet. This is the only way she will release her because she will not offer to cover the expenses for me.

Clinghton:
If the friend is trustworthy you can let your daughter be with her or what about your Mon, your sister is insensitive and selfish.

I trust her and I strongly believe she will take care of her better than my sister. My mum is late

kurlz:
Tell your sister you don't have money to send for the next 1year, just find one reason to tell her, like maybe you are running a course and you want to pay some loans or something, and tell her your friend has volunteered to cater for your child and pay her school fees for now. Even if she says your child can stay don't answer her. Let your friend take the child.

Great idea thanks for the suggestion

Dbrawllm0098:
I will advise you put your child in the boarding school. You can talk to the school authority to appoint you a house mistress to look after her during short holidays. The house mistress must reside in the school domitory. Meanwhile, she stays with your friend during long vacations. Check a reputable boarding school on Google. Ask your friend to help you follow up. Let it come as a surprise to your sister. In all, make sure your friend is someone you can trust.

I don't want her to go to boarding school first I want her to stay with my friend and will see how she will take care of her , if everything is fine with her i will allow her to stay there until I bring her here , if I notice something wrong I will then consider a boarding school for her.

sisisioge:
Your child is 8years old, you could take her to a good boarding school but you would pay way more as school fees there. Pele.

I don't want her to go to boarding school I want her to be with my friend so I can call,/ video more often.

Ulunne777:
Hugs.But where's her father and why are you having a one ur old when you haven't figured out life for yourself and the elder one.

Her father denied the pregnancy he hasn't met her. My one year old child is a blessing if things are a bit stable for me is because I gave birth to her, when I was alone things were really difficult for me but having a child has open so many doors for me. I hope people who are abroad can understand me better

Olayetan:
Whats holding you back from taking custody of your daughter, maybe you work your daughter visa, that way, she won't have that entitlement to your money anymore...

I don't have papers

Kinehap:
You really need to talk to your sister and her husband first. Make them see reasons with you, because this is your family. On the idea of taking your daughter to your friend, please don't even think of it.

It would be better to spend on your sister than someone molesting your daughter. Remember, he is not your blood. Feelings is something you can't predict.

Talk to your sister and her husband.

I a woman and my friend is also a woman. My sister is aware of my situations I have told her everything she knows that I don't have papers and having not papers I am limited because I can't work or have my own place to call home but she doesn't care all she care about is money.

Ofokajeremy:
Please I'm begging you in the name of God, I also thank you for bringing it here looking for advice on the issue. Take your daughter away from your sister and the person you are trying to take your daughter to should not be aware of your experience with your sister else it'll be same draining storyline. It could be worse than the beginning, God help you out of this , but I hope you have other family members rather than a friend?

I have an elder brother who is married with kids but I don't trust his wife with my child someone who doesn't liked me will never like my daughter

CedarHoldings:
Op don't mind people advising you to grab the child from your sister, in my tribe ( things) like this need care and thinking to handle, you know she is the one taking care of the kid for you since time of your relocation,
The reason it got you now is the Global economic meltdown faced by people all over the world, you know your sister financial capacity before you drop ur kid for her, if she is financially okay, she might not bother you for anything even on your kid,
So you are the only one that know her in and out, if she is a wicked type or not, no let anybody push you against ur family, u might need them oneday.

She is financially OK she has a clothing store and her husband sell appliances

Rafiquie:
Take your daughter to your friend. Don't take her to a "burden" school if you still value her mental health.

I will not take her to boarding school