₦airaland Forum

My Jambito Experience
So for starters, I have a best friend and it’s a
‘she’, I don’t really think the ‘best friend’ with
a guy thing can work because guys could be so
uncaring and there are times you just need to
stay put and cry on someone shoulder rather
than watch football or play fifa ’14.
Her name is Sandra, she’s super cute girl with
nice curves, you know that kind of toolz
Bottom?, she’s also very warm, friendly and
independent, thus never takes nor asks for
anything from me unless I insist. She cooks
too, very well too, in summary, she has got
everything a guy would ever need 4rm a girl.
She is based and hails from Port-harcourt, she
is what I’ll like to call a full PH girl to the core.
Here is the twist, sandra is an EX, and she’s
my first lady, not like am a governor or
president, just that she was my first girlfriend
in Uniport. yea, it’s kinda funny and
complicated how things turned out,
nevertheless, I love her just as a friend or so I
think.
Here’s how it all happened…
I had just gained admission into uniport, I’m
one of those lucky people that has a relative
in the ‘high places’ of the school, so getting
admission was sorta a piece of cake, all I had
to do was make good grades and I at least
credited all my subjects in my WAEC and
likewise did justice to JAMB and POST JAMB
(although I had some assistance *wink*), so as
I was saying, I got admitted into uniport and I
met Sandra during the usual hectic, generic,
annoying, stressful fresher registration…(una
wey dey school go understand wetin I mean)
even now that I’m almost done with my
program, I have like two friends who don’t
have a matric number because they haven’t
finished the registration or something like
that.
So I was finally done with my physicals after
queuing for two straight days and headed to
the famous ‘LULU BRIGGS HEALTH CENTER’ for
my medicals only to be instructed that I had
to come back two days later because they had
days for different departments and it wasn’t
my dept day. I was so pissed because I had
wasted my time, I was dead hungry tired and
frustrated and I also missed my way while
looking for lulu briggs and this people were
telling me bullshit.
I complained and para for them (para means
shout or something like that) but it fell on
deaf ears so after shouting for like 10 mins
and nobody answered me, I just shamefully
package myself well and went home with fury.
Back then I was squatting with one of my high
school friend(Tayo) and his roommate(Uche).
When I got home, the house was empty but I
heard voices at the back of the house so I
went to check if it was my notorious friends
and landlords for the time being, as I
approached I started perceiving weed and
somehow I just knew it was my landlord,
Tayo.
You see, Tayo has been a chain smoker since
high-school so wherever there is weed, there
is Tayo.
I finally got to the back and I was right, Tayo
and some other guys were there ‘getting high’
while talking about football, lecturers, girls
and so on. I just sat down with them and
contributed to my own specialty, ‘girls’.
Well nothing really happened for the next two
days, it was just boring due to the fact that I
was still a fresher and hadn’t settled nor have
friends.
Finally the day for my department to do the
Medicals came and in other to impress, my
packaging was ‘war’ oh!.
I wore my best blue pens with tear rubber
D&G 100% cotton long sleeves shirt which I
had ironed in a way the getoh could peel yam,
my dark green moccasin wasn’t a bad mixture
neither and to top it all, I sprayed almost half
of my ‘incidence made in paris’ perfume.
As I walked out of the house with my ear
piece plugged in, I had a quick look at the full
scale mirror at the exit of the lodge and I gave
myself the ‘I go kill dem 2day’ smile.
On getting to the gate of the health center in
a taxi I boarded, I dropped and walked into
the health center.
For a moment everybody in the health center
stopped and turned back to stare at me, am
not really an attention seeker so I didn’t know
either to run or just faint.
Neither of those options seemed nice so I just
chined up and walked straight to a desk at
the front the health center to make inquiries
and I was directed, as I walked, i could feel
about a thousand eyes on me, after a while I
got used to it and besides I guess that’s what I
was looking for when I dressed that way.
I was directed to the office of the lady that
shunned me the two days ago, but unlike the
other day I came, she nicely attended to me
and gave me two labeled test tubes, one had
‘BLOOD’ written on it, while the other had
‘URINE’.
‘URINE?!’ I asked, literally asked screaming.
‘yes, urine, any problem?’ she asked with a
mischievous smile.
so how was I to urinate in public in a tube for
that matter, after all my packaging, and am
sure some of my department girls would have
had their eyes on me already.
‘chai this one would be hard oh’ I said to
myself while staring at the test tube
confused.

PROLOGUE
We all know ‘LOVE’ is a very complicated word,
it comes when we least expect, and we find
ourselves loving the very person we never
thought we could love.
So in line with that, I in particular have been
through a lot of memorable experiences with
this ‘love’ thing we all talk about, so this story
is just a medium im using to share my
experiences.
You may want to ask ‘is this a true or fictional
story?’ well, i’ll let you decide what you want
to believe *winks*, after all, as the saying
go ..’no be my mouth you go hear say Beyonce
dey shît too’.
So you could drop comments but the basic
idea is just to read and just have fun.
So here it goes!!….
*******************
Hi!, my name is Michael but you may as well
call me mike if you are a guy or mikey if you
are female *winks*, anyway am based in lagos
and i school at the university of PortHarcourt,
Nigeria AKA ‘UNIPORT’ where i study
MANAGEMENT under the faculty of
management, weird right? Don’t mind the
confused people that named the
departments.
Anyway i hail from the Big Heart of the nation,
Delta state, as for my age…. well you would
know that in due time.
Well, let me state this now and clearly ‘I AM
NOT A PLAYER’, but, I’ve lost count of girls ive
dated(not like i was even counting), im just
looking for my Miss Right, you know na, that
one girl you meet and you cant picture your
life with any other girl, that girl you actually
dream and not those you lie to about
dreaming of them, you know that girl that
even if she strips nakèd and tell you to do
whatever you will, you would refuse not
because you are gay but because you love her
to a fault and of course, she too would feel
the same about you.
But my delima is my Miss Right seems far
fetched.
So basically, this story is just a well detailed
summary of my adventures in my really
tedious search for ‘Miss Right’.
Trust me when i say its been a really funny
adventure and i’ve dated them all, the cute,
ugly, fat, slim, ugly, possessive, ‘i no send you
if you no send me type’, the honest, the
churchy type,the sex freak, in short, just
name it and ive dated it or something similar
at least.
I’ll try my best to keep you guys posted, and
update as often as i can, so buckle up because
you are in for a fun filled ride into the world
of a lasgidi/port harcourt breed PLAY BOY…
oops!! Did i just call my self a play boy??
Ermm…well its just what ill like to call a slip
of hand *winks*
And before i forget, expect lotta suspense and
comedy, Don’t say you weren’t warned.
*****

RIP

I can't and I will not advice my bf to take bullet for me

philantoxx:
these are the kind of girls boko haram should kidnap.

and bring back our chibok girl

IS HE A MINISTER

Keneking:
What about Jonathan?

In a bid to pursue their individual personal political ambitions, some serving Ministers are set to resign from their official duty posts any time soon. They include:
1) The Minister of Information, Labaran Maku;
2) Minister of Health, Onyebuchi Chukwu;
3) the Minister of State for Defence, Musiliu Obanikoro
4) The Minister of State for Education, Nyesom Wike,
According to media reports, all the Ministers listed above want to seek the 2015 PDP governorship tickets of their respective States. And if given the tickets, they will contest in the gubernatorial polls proper come 2015.
Dear members, what advice do you have for these people who resign from their present offices and contest in the 2015 general elections? Have they really been impressive in the way and manner they use their present office to meet the expectations of Nigerians? Will Lagosians want Obanikoro as their Governor? Will the good people of Rivers State and Nassarawa State be willing to accept Wike and Maku as their Governors respectively? Finally who is ready to vote for Onyebuchi as Governor?

That was then

There are strong indication that the Country's former president,Dr Olusegun Obasanjo,had warned the Opposition party APC to desist from such plans of making his former Running mate Alhaji Atiku Abubakar,the presidential flagbearer of the party.
He stated this when he was visited at his Abeokuta residence by APC national leader,Ahmed Bola Tinubu,to seek the EX-President help in supporting the party's Presidential aspirant towards the presidential election come 2015.
Obasanjo further warned the APC not to field an "Unclean Vessel" as the party Presidential flagbearer.

AMEN OOOOOO

Naetochukwu:
I am blessed.
I can't wait for weekends nomore, I am soo attracted to him because he is sweet plus a good cook. He cooks everywhere, anytime perfectly for me.
I hope he gets to propose to me soonest before I loose my mind.

Please take your time to read this.. God bless you as you do so.. Love you all
IS NIGERIA GOING THE WAY OF TURKEY?
•Turkey is in the present day Europe and
partly in Asia minor.
•Apostle Paul was a citizen of Tukey
because Tarsus exists in Turkey.
•Christianity existed in Turkey for about
1,023 years while Christianity has only
existed in Nigeria for 172yrs starting
from when Rev. Birch Freeman came to
Badagry in 1842.
•The seven churches Jesus spoke to in
Revelations 2&3(Ephesus,Smy
rna,Laodicea,Philadelphia,etc)existed in
the old Turkey.
•The disciples were first called Christians
in Turkey(Antioch)
•Turkey once had the largest Christian
auditorium in Europe called Hagia
Sophia in Constantinople.
•Mary the mother of Jesus was taken to
Turkey by Apostle John and till date, her
room has become a tourist centre.
TURKEY TODAY
•Present day Turkey now has 96%
muslims&0.02% Christians(less than
130,000).
•The Hagia Sophia(once largest church
in Europe) was taken over by muslims
and converted to a mosque for over
400yrs and later used as an Islamic
Museum
WHYCHRISTIANITY COLLAPSED IN
TURKEY
•Emphasis on doctrinal differences
weakened the Turkish church.
•Rivalries amongst denominations
•Petty politics in church coupled with
ethnic biase
•The Turks were building big cathedrals
instead of building men.
HOW IT HAPPENED
•Osman Ghazi discovered the disunity
amongst Christians and used it to fight a
Jihad that led to a mass genocide of the
Armenians, the Hellen and Turks of that
day. Infact, the weapon of war used was
designed by a Turkish Christian.
•Many Christian women converted to
Islam to save their lives and some were
raped.
•Osman Ghazi started the Ottoman
empire which gave muslims political
post and made it a religion of the state.
IS NIGERIA HEADING THE WAY OF
TURKEY
•Virtually all the mistakes the church in
Turkey made, the Nigerian church has
made it.
•We are building Cathedrals at the
expense of discipling men.
•Disunity amongst churches
•Ethnicity in the church
•Denominational rivalry, etc.
•Sharp division along doctrinal lines
MORE FACTS
•The spiritual foundation of Turkey is
stronger than that of Nigeria and
Christianity existed for over 1000yrs in
Turkey unlike ours which is just 172yrs
but Islam Radicalism uprooted it. If it
can happen in Turkey, it can also
happen IF we are not careful.
•The menace of Boko Haram has
destroyed a lot of churches in the north
and it may take another 200yrs to
evangelise Borno state alone.
•There is a secret agenda to Islamize
Nigeria&other African nations as
contained in Abuja declaration of 1989.
DON'T SAY IT CAN'T HAPPEN HERE, IF
WE DON'T RIGHT OUR WRONGS AS A
CHURCH.
SOLUTION
•HEART-FELT Intercession
•Aggressive evangelism- the terrorist
reached out to the youths in the norths
first and gave them AK-47 and bombs, if
we had reached out to them on time,
they'll be carrying BIBLES today.
•Mission support:-God is holding the
church responsible for Boko Haram, yet
we are blaming the governement.If we
had supported missions and
missionaries, we would have those
insurgents to Christ long ago.
•Unity of the church is key in winning
this battle. The last but not the least
christians should be actively involve in
politics. Enough of these muslims
political office holder with islamic
agenda
ARISE CHURCH & LETS DO THE NEEDFUL

buskie13:
hey pals....today is my birthday... pls show some love..

happy birthday

President Jonathan's failure to address the problem of the abducted chibok girls on his 54th Independence anniversary speech signifies that he is not a father of Nigerians,because he has failed-says former lawmaker,Dino malaye

what's your take on this?

lwise: @op

Do you think you will celebrate 2015 independent anniversary?

of course I will be celebrate it even tho I don't no about u

DO YOU THINK PRESIDENT GOODLUCK JONATHAN WILL CELEBRATE NIGERIA @ 55 AS PRESIDENT COME 2015?

Nigeria's former President,ChiefOlusegun Obasanjo,has registered for Doctor of Philosophy degree(Ph.D) at the National open university of Nigeria(NOUN).
He(Obasanjo) said that,I do not want any preferential treatment that will distinguish me from every other student

The Ekiti state capital Ado Ekiti is engulfed with violence after Mr Omolafe, strong supporter of Governor-elect was gruesomely murdered by alleged APC thugs near his office yesterday.
It is sad that this riot is going on, just 2-weeks to the handing over of Government to Ayo Fayose.
We are appealing to APC members in Ekiti and the rest of the country to understand that there is always an alternative violence and bloodbath.
**APC won the election in Osun and there have been relative peace in that state.
**Since APC lost the election in Ekiti, that state has been in turmoil, as their leaders threatened that Fayose who won in all the LGAs in the state will not be sworn in as the state governor.
**Since APC lost the Presidential election in 2011 about 13,000 Nigerians have been killed by internal grown terrorists they have directly and indirectly supported.
Nigerians cannot continue living like, we do not only need peace, we deserve it.

If Buhari, Atiku and Kwankwaso cannot let us settle down and choose a candidate, I will not let them destroy the party we have suffered to build, I will not let them scatter the structures we already have in our stronghold states, the other option is to strike a deal with Jonathan and retain whatever we can retain in our states....Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu.

The singer is not only winning all the awards, in and out of Nigeria, he is winning his confidence by appreciating what God has blessed him with.
Forget about 'do not blow your own trumpets', Davido knows what he's worth and he's not afraid to flaunt it including shouting it himself!

The star has already declared himself "handsome and wealthy" and there's nothing anyone can do about it.Coming from a very rich background is one thing but working hard to get the millions under 25 is simply incredible.

Davido is not only winning all the awards in and out of Nigeria, he is winning his confidence by appreciating what God has blessed him with.

Do you agree with Davido?

The Chibok girl who was found in Mubi, Adamawa after being abandoned by Boko Haram members is said to be four months pregnant.

A young girl, who was reportedly thrown off a truck by Boko Haram members and later identified as one of the missing Chibok girls, is pregnant, Leadership reports.

The girl, identified as Susan Ishaya, was found wandering in the Mubi area of Adamawa state and was said to be in a sorry state with injuries all over her body.

The Chairman of Chibok community in Abuja, Tsamdo Hosea Abana reportedly confirmed the pregnancy, saying the girl is four months gone.

He said:

“Susan is actually one of our daughters abducted from Government Girls Secondary School in Chibok. She was found in Mubi where her abductors dumped her and she was later taken to Yola.

It has been proved that the girl is four months pregnant, and she is psychological and physically traumatized,”

“Evidently, the girl was subjected to serious abuse. There are bruises on her body, and she is suffering from psychological trauma”

Susan was reportedly receiving treatment at the Police Clinic in Yola but sources say she might have been transferred to a better hospital.

Mr. Abana called on the Federal Government to intensify efforts to free the remaining girls and reunite them with their families.

Recent reports had it that the girls had been released after a successful negotiation process between the federal government and Boko Haram but the reports turned out to be false.

The over 200 Chibok girls were kidnapped from Borno state on April 14, 2014, more than 5 months ago

The leader of Boko Haram, Abubakar Shekau is said to be alive and well despite recent death rumours


According to Nigerian journalist, Ahmad Salkida, the leader of Boko Haram, Abubakar Shekau is alive and well.

Reports emerged recently claiming that Shekau had been killed during a September 17 military operation in Konduga, Borno state.

However, Salkida, who has ties with the sect, has denied the reports via Twitter stating that the dreaded terrorist is still alive.

He tweeted via his handle, @ContactSalkida :

“Mark my words: I have it on authority that Shekau is well & alive, the picture going round is NOT the person who torments us with his group”

The journalist, who is resident in Dubai, reportedly maintains communication with leaders of the sect and is privy to information about Boko Haram’s inner workings.

dapsoneh: Na wa o for this eyebrown oo

she is pretty tho

NO FOR ME AND MY FAMILY

Following

horizonhotspot: Yes, Ini edo is happy and balling despite the fact that some Tatafo’s wants to ruin her happiness, Believe me guys i have never seen Ini smile so good for long and she’s looking pretty cool here meanwhile Check out the beautiful photos she shared on her IG page this morning

Source: http://www.horizonhotspot.com/2014/06/kiss-kiss-ini-edo-stuns-in-new.html

CUTE