₦airaland Forum

Ok we have heard

ENELDEE:
There is this young man we hired as a family driver for more than a year now. He happens to be a graduate of one of the polytechnics in lagos and is well groomed. I don't know what this is but I've never given him any attention or even noticed his several outstanding qualities until now. It is like my eyes just opened or he changed his overall appearance and attitude at work. This feeling is now something I cannot deal with and I'm beginning to make obvious advances at him, which happens beyond my control. Just yesterday,
when he dropped me after work, I
surprisingly pecked him on the cheek and stared in his eyes for almost 10 minutes, not knowing what to say. My husband, being so busy with work isn't aware of my
new attraction, but I want this nonsense to stop before it gets out of control. My driver is obviously still awed by my advances and should be thinking about my latest actions. Please how do I kill this feeling before he
starts getting interested in me. I'm very sure that when he gets interested, I won't be able to refuse his advances. Please I need your advice. This is serious.

www.naijalovedoctor.com/2014/10/im-attracted-to-my-family-driver-how-do.html

simply sack him

Question for the gods

All I see is fat nothing more

experimentist:
dnt worry, after election u will cry in chinese!

let's just wait and see

experimentist:
yes lol.. You're the clueless cankerworms grade and we belong to the progressive brainy grade.. GEJ TILL VALENTINES DAY

hahahaha I laugh in spanish

Lordseyad:
I told you to stop taking weed on weekends...

especially early morning

Keneking:
this government sef

must u blame the government for everything, was it the government that send the ghost to the school?

experimentist:
Who know you! We, the first grade Nigerian youth want Buhari!

IS NIGERIAN YOUTH NOW GRADE BY GRADE. ANYWAY. JONATHAN TILL 2019

F, as a gentle girl wey I be

So what is its side effect, because our teacher tell us say anything way get advantage, get disadvantage

Akeelahtunez:
Don't mind him jare
Watsup wit u angel

hmmm am fine

Akeelahtunez:
Don't mind him jare
Watsup wit u angel

hmmm am fine

Genny all the way

Tekzyflex:
Devil even fine pass am. Mumu republic.

have u seen Devil before

2 hours ago
The Teatreneu comedy club in Barcelona has come up with an innovative way of charging customers; they’re calling it ‘Pay-Per-Laugh’. The concept is as simple as it sounds - the club has reduced its entry fee to zero, and instead, users are charged every time they laugh. A special facial-recognition software helps track the exact number of laughs per customer.

The bizarre idea is actually an experiment in partnership with advertising agency The Cyranos McCann - it was set up in response to increased government taxes on theatrical performances from 8% to 21%, which led to a 30% drop in audience members in just one year. So Teatreneu decided to look at the situation with humor, and that’s how pay-per-laugh was born. Each seat is fitted with a facial recognition system that detects the smiles of the person seated behind. Entrance is free, and if the show produces no laughs, customers don’t pay anything. But if they do, each smile is charged 0.30 euros with an upper cap of 24 euros.

The club even offers a mobile app as a method of payment, and there’s a pay-per-laugh season ticket as well. The experiment has proved successful so far, with the average price of a ticket price going up by 6 euros. The media coverage and social media shares resulted in a 35% increase in the number of spectators. Each pay-per-laugh show produced 28,000 euros more of ticket money than a regular show.

The system is now being implemented in other theaters around Spain, and other countries have been showing interest as well. James Woroniecki, director of London’s 99 club, said: “Sounds fun, just so long as all the facial recognition data doesn’t get forwarded to the NSA!” Yeah, there’s nothing funny about that… “It’d be a big technical challenge - as people laugh so often at the 99, we’d have to install a cash machine by every seat,” he jokingly added.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Exjoker:
So you are insisting. to know whats it right?

YES

Bale1:
the love no be do or die affair na

ABI OOOOOOOOOOOO

tunde705:
She just dey clock 30? I thought she is above 40 self...

She is just becoming uglier by the day. BREAST MILK WEY NO GET NAFDAC NUMBER.

THAT HER FOOTBALL AGE NAH

LOLZ

constance500:
Next time she does that, just get up and land her a very breathtaking resounding slap,

Das all

SOMETHING LIKE WHAT

Exjoker:
She will bring something to me

WIZGUY69:

[size=48]am just here to read hypocritical comments. am I welcome?[/size]

YES........................VERY WELCOME[color=#006600][/color]

philantoxx:
urgently

abi ooo

This is the ICT generation that is largely
ignorant about the events of the
Buhari era (1983-85) and so can be
misinformed and misled by needless
propaganda. I have sat with many in
the
under-30 bracket and those slightly
above who only have faint recollections
of the Buhari era and the level of
ignorance about that era is amazing.
Before being MILITARY Head of State,
Buhari had been Governor of one of
the Northern States (under Obasanjo’s
Military government) as well as
Minister for Petroleum. He later
served
as Chairman of PTF under Abacha.
Please consider the following
unassailable facts:
·He birthed and supervised the
establishment of our existing
refineries.
·There was no religious crisis while he
was Head of State. It started under his
successor IBB!
·In his time as Head of State he
reduced
inflation from 23% to 4%, by fiscal
discipline and a homegrown economic
team (not achieved under any other
era, even military).
·JJ Rawlings of Ghana took over 2yrs
before him, and killed all the corrupt
leaders, while Buhari only sentenced
the corrupt leaders here to prison.
·Under his watch as PTF Chairman,
what he did in road construction in that
short period hasn't been matched by
12yrs of the PDP.
·Hospitals and universities around the
country never witnessed as much
benefits as they got from the PTF from
any government after or before his
time.
·Despite serving in senior capacity in
the oil sector, first as Minister for
Petroleum and then Petroleum Trust
Fund, Buhari has no petrol station,
much less a rig, refinery or an oil block
like so many of our leaders.
·He could have retired into nauseating
opulence like an IBB or Danjuma or
even OBJ but didn't.
·Instead of hobnobbing with the high
and mighty, he has cast his lot with the
ordinary man most of who follow him
out of hope and belief in his values.
People who know him have said
of him... "All I need from Buhari is his
word, I can take it to the bank".
·He is the only politician in the North
today who fills rallies without renting a
crowd. The Kaduna rally of 2nd March
is eloquent proof!
·He refused to collect an allowance
while serving as Chairman of the PTF
because he said since he was already
drawing a pension from government,
his conscience would not allow him
to draw another salary from the purse
of the same government.
·He is the only former head of state
that does not own property or land in
Abuja .
·Every attempt to rubbish him through
probes in time past ended up
vindicating him! The man who wasb
asked by OBJ to take over the running
of PTF before it was scrapped with the
aim
of probing and indicting Buhari, was the
one who ended up being prosecuted
for misappropriating $100m of PTF
funds!
Buhari again, was vindicated
·He has OPENLY challenged those who
accuse him of religious fundamentalism
to come out and show proof. No one
has till today, taken up the challenge.
His
personal driver of many years is a
Christian from Plateau State !
·His government initiated the War
Against Indiscipline that has made
environmental cleanliness, queuing up,
not urinating by the roadside etc
features of our national life even till
today Does it then surprise you why
corrupt people would be spreading
such heinous rumours about Buhari?
He
is a threat to them and they know
what he is capable of doing to
corruption and
corrupt people when he comes into
office! So shine your eyes and make
the right decision. If honesty and
probity are the things you want for
Nigeria ,now is the time to choose
right. When you cast your vote for the
BUHARI, you would have cast one vote
for a honest me

Just so you know, Uche is a cheerful giver and
not like stingy Tayo, he is rich as I have made
clear earlier, he has the kinda complexion
that would give baba suwe hope, as in his
blackness no get part 2! The funny thing about
Uche is, although he has got a twisted past
with cultism and used to play girls, he is
settled now, and has a stable GF.
NB: GF – GirlFriend
I later got to find out that from Tayo that this
GF of his name is Chisom, from my own
perspective she is alright in all aspect, not too
flashy or have any ‘outspoken’ feature, she is
just normal but she is a hardcore born again
Christian, I and Tayo find this disturbing
because every sunday she would carry her two
‘left’ legs and come to the house, then literally
drag the three of us to church even when we
don’t want to go, (don’t ask me how she does
it).
Anyway, after about the longest ten minutes
walk of my life, I and my new found friend got
back to the club. From a distance everything
looked normal so that made us relax a little
but getting closer we saw where there was a
little crowed that seems to be growing by the
second, without thinking twice we knew that’s
where the ‘WAHALA’ was.
We got closer and I tried asking someone was
happening, but it was no use because she
seemed to be drunk and simply smiled at me
(I don’t know what she was smiling about and
didn’t care), the best option was to go to the
center of the crowd and see what was
happening with my own eyes.
So after pushing, pulling, punching, cursing
and biting a few people, I finally got to the
middle, and then it. What I saw made me
speechless and my body froze instantly.
There he was, lying on the floor with blood
was gushing out of his head at an alarming
rate and that made me nearly throw up
because I hate the sight of blood…
It was Uche, yes ‘URCH MONEY’ who was in
the middle of this crowd, I was confused and
didn’t know what to do nor think.
Sandra again being her observant self noticed
my mood and somehow figured it was my
friend and pointed at Tayo who was at the
other side of the crowd (I still don’t know how
she knew I ,Tayo and Uche were friends up to
date, maybe she was even eyeing me in the
club too*winks*).
After starting at the body for a while, I got so
curious and I headed to where Tayo was in
other to get some answers, then I asked;
‘o boy, wetin happen for here nah?’
‘guy I confuse oh,the thing happened too fast
self’
‘wetin happen too fast? Talk better thing jhur’
I asked already losing my patience.
‘me and Urch, say make we go outside go
smoke some weed because smoking no dey
allowed inside the club, na hyn we commot
oh, as we dey find corner to do our thing, we
no pay too much attention to wetin dey
happen around us, before we reach were we
dey go, na so don surround us oh,
before i fit talk Jack Robinson them don start
to dey beat urch oh, one of them come use
one sharp axe knack him head, na why hin
dey bleed so, after them do finish with urch,
them face me, I done dey piss for ground self
because of fear, but them no touch me, them
just say if Urch wake up make I tell am make
hin leave Chisom if hyn never ready die’.
At that point I wanted to laugh but I
compressed the laughter, I was surprised that
cult boys had interest in such a churchy girl, I
tried picturing ‘capon’ with axe in his back
pocket going to church.
After thinking of the whole case I knelt closer
to Urch to confirm if he was still alive, then
went to board a taxi, with the help of Tayo ,we
both carried him into the taxi.
Sandra insisted she came with us of course
but that wasn’t my problem, my guy was at
the verge of dying, so blowing (blowing means
bleeping or sex) her wasn’t even on my mind.
We got home and placed him on a chair,
Sandra requested for a towel and a bowl of
warm water to clean him us and massage
Uche, we gladly provided all she asked for,and
even brought a first aid kit which she used to
treat his wound which wasn’t that big tho,
just a scratch. Afterwards we all went to
sleep, feeling like gentlemen, I and tayo slept
on the floor in the parlour and gave Sandra
the bedroom but she suggested we placed
Urch on the bed while she slept on a small
‘hostel’ kind of bed we had around.
After gisting for a while with Tayo in the
sitting room, slowly sleep crept in and we
slept soundly, not knowing what was going to
happen the next day would change my life for
ever!.

My Complex Love Story – Episode 2
The test tube thing gave me a hard time but
somehow I cleared the blood part and headed
to the toilet to do the urine thing because I
had no other option.
On getting there the toilet was empty, I was
so glad, that I rushed in, but…
I forgot to lock the door.
I brought out my ‘D’ and tried placing it in the
tube, which was very hard because I have a….
well never mind (I guess you know what I
mean.
While I was doing my thing someone just
pushed the door open and came in.
That was the most embarrassing moment of
my life, at that moment I wished the ground
would open and swallow me, although the
person quickly locked the door back with the
speed of light I’m pretty sure she saw
something.
What made it so bad was it wasn’t a guy but a
girl who opened the door.
I tried to console myself with the conclusion
of uniport being a big school and I’ll never see
the girl again, but I was wrong.
So I finished up and cleared the urine thing
finally, then headed home.
It was a friday so I made plans of going
clubbing to clear my head and forget about
the earlier incident, I told Tayo and Uche who
liked the idea, so they invited their chicks and
since I didn’t have any ‘chick’, I just made up
my mind to go and pick up a girl I’ll take home
not knowing fate had a different plan for me.
It was about 11:36pm when we got to the club,
we headed straight for the VIP section where
some of Uche guys were, they hailed him.
‘URCH MONEY!!! URCH MONEY!!!’.
I don’t get why almost all the Uche(s) I know
automatically bears ‘Urch’ as a nickname,
anyway we shaked exchanged pleasantries
and joined them.
Without wasting much time Uche ordered for
drinks and I figured out why ‘money’ was
attached to his nick name. The guy bought
drinks that the money could buy a car and
fuel it for 2 years conveniently. I was happy
that the drinks part was covered, little did I
know that we are in for a night of many
adventures.
While I was just sitting and observing the
babes in the club, I saw a girl doing something
I hate and assume every guy hates too, she
was with her phone, probably pinging.
‘For crying out loud, if you want to ping, stay
at home! You don’t come to a club and do that’
I thought
The alcohol was already kicking in so I had
what is they call a ‘drunk man’s courage’, I
stood up, walked up to her, but instead of
being a gentleman and sit down then talk to
her or something like that, I snatched her
phone from her, kept it in my pocket and
dragged her to the dance floor. Funny enough,
she didn’t complain, just followed me.
The DJ probably read my mind and changed
the song to;
‘young girl you don’t know the thing, I am
teaching you the thing, you are playing with
the thing…’
Still in my ‘drunk man’s courage’ mode, I
whispered to her ‘lemme teach you
something’, then turned her and started
rocking her from behind, and strangely again,
she complied.
We danced for quite a long while then slowly
my eyes cleared up and I got back to my
senses, I strained my eyes to see who this
hottie was, even in the dark she looked hot
with her killer curves, to my greatest surprise
it was the same chick that had busted into me
in the toilet when I was doing this ‘urine’
thing.
I was super embarrassed this time, she
noticed what was going on and then said;
‘maybe we should talk and clear things out’, of
course I agreed.
So we headed out of the club because the
music was too loud and unless we were going
to scream, talking in the club wasn’t a good
idea.
We got out and found no where to sit, so we
just decided to stroll.
There was a quite long awkward silence
between us until she finally spoke;
‘am sorry’
‘for what?’ I asked pretending not to know
what she was talking about
‘for this afternoon, bursting into the toilet like
that, I should have knocked’
‘oh, that?, It’s nothing, shit happens, anyway I
am Mike’ I was feeling really uncomfortable so
I just tried to quickly change the topic.
‘hi, I’m Sandra’
‘you school in uniport right?’
‘yea, I’m a fresher tho, how about you?’
‘ermm fresher too, what dept are you, or wait,
lemme guess, medicine?’
she laughed then replied;
‘no oh, medicine ke? You want to kill me? I’m
studying economics’ and
at that point I actually knew I had gotten a
girl for the night.
The thing with girls is that they like a guy that
ain’t boring, one who can make them laugh
and make them feel comfortable, if you can
do that well, you can have ‘almost’ any girl
and Sandra fortunately is among the ‘almost’.
Funny how time flies, we had talked for about
two hours when it happened.
Tayo called;
‘guy where u dey?’ he asked
‘around sha,wetin dey happen?’ I r
replied.
‘rush come the club, now now! kasala don
burst’ before I could ask any more questions,
he hung up.
Sandra who was already getting worried then
asked if all is well, all I could say was;
‘i hope so’
We headed back to the club as fast as we
could, not knowing what to expect