₦airaland Forum

Gentlevip:
You are selfish.

You don't want any other man in charge of her except you. You are free to marry at your own design, but she is not

You even insinuate that she is not responsible to your liking. That a mother will abandon her own children.

If you had wisdom of the least you would have encouraged her, and showed your mother love. Not dragging with decision of her and her father.

Go rest abeg

Abeg go sleep

Pascal9:
Go and marry your mum, your dad is dead, why don't you want the woman to move on, is it easy for her to cater for the children alone, besides you people are poor, your dad did not left any investments for her to take care of you and your siblings, please don't be selfish, allow your mum to live and enjoy her life, life is experienced only once.

Mr Rich man, thank you

Charly68:
Is this real or AI conjecture. . If your father died so what prevent your mother from moving on with her life. Must she buried her future with the past. The past must be forgotten and future embrace if we must reach out goals and maximize our potentials. Don't be selfish ,consider issue from your mother's point of view ... God will sustain you and your siblings . Let mama move on with her life.

Amen.
Thanks 😭

Blackdisciple:
I sympathize with you, sorry your dad died as a young man meaning your mum is still young and she have decisions to make for herself your mum has her own life to live aside yours and that of your siblings.
Just as you said if say money dey you would just take all your siblings with you, but even with the money your mum will still make her choices to remarry. So do not feel bad as long as she's happy I her new home to come rather man up to look after siblings bro ....
The choice is hers to stay with her kids or to remarry without her kids...

Thanks

IPG25:
Well getting married to someone is not a bad idea , mourning for six good yrs is not a child's place,your mom is a very strong woman,she ve try her humanly possible best for not getting married till nw , if it weren't to be ur tradition I would ve loved her to take ur siblings along with her till they are matured but ur tradition didn't allow that .some men are so caring especially the monogamous family,by fellow naira-lander allow ur mom to be ,who are u to disapprove what ur grandfather has approved, it's better she get married than sleeping around with different men,
This is the best decision ever,may the soul of ur late father RIP.

Thank you Sir. It hurts
😭😭

RecessionistPMB:
In as much as your mum reserves the right to make decisions about her own life, a true mother in the true sense of it, at her age should not prioritise her sexual needs or love for another man over her own children.

For those asking you if you should prefer your mum sleeping around than remarrying, kindly ignore that foolish question.

If what you narrated is true, your mum is simply lazy and belongs to this class of women that believe that family responsibilities rests solely on the men.

If I may ask:
(1)what is she doing for herself all these 6 years?
(2)What was her contribution while your dad was alive?

It seems your mum doesn't have her own mind to the point that it's your aged grandfather that's pushing her. There's more that meets the eye!!

Hummmm...

SmileDance:
All I can say is, those traditions are powerful as long as you enable it, the day those traditions are no longer enabled they will hold no water, let your mom live her life, she's a human being and she deserves to be happy.
You can sit her and her father down calmly and explain your fears and concerns, I'm sure there is always a way around it.

I've tried doing so, but they see me as a child who knows nothing

gotnel:
To God be the glory for everything.
May the soul of your father rest in perfect peace.
Let your mum remarry.
Allow her to feel loved again.
If your tradition does not allow the children of her early marriage to be with her in the new husband house, it is what it is.
The situation is not too bad, there are potential options.
Let us take it up like this, your mum definitely will not want to discard her children because of her new husband.
If the new man is in love with you mum, he will not want her to do away with her children from her early marriage.
Therefore the two love birds must have a certain arrangement to carry the children along.

You, on the other side.
What is the relationship between you and your paternal lineage?
Work on relationship with your family.
I also pray for divine intervention for you and your siblings.

Thank you Sir
😭😭😭😭

JuanDeDios:
The mom has a responsibility towards those kids and must always consider them. It's her right to remarry and be happy, but she shouldn't throw her kids away. No, the kids are not the primary responsibility of their older brother.

Thank you very much 🙏

martineverest:
My question is ,will u complain if ur dad is the one trying to remarry?

Pls help me beg her not to leave us pls 😭😭😭

My dad's spirit will never be pleased whenever he is now

Mirror97:
I understand how you feel but you have to think about your mother too.. you need to understand she's lonely. Cut her some slack jealous son

Please help me beg her not to leave us pls 😭😭😭

martineverest:
My question is ,will u complain if ur dad is the one trying to remarry?

Sir, u won't understand.
U won't understand at all. There are things I cannot say here publicly

zoghys:
She has every right to remarry if she wants and your opinion is not needed at all. She is your mum not your lover so stop been a baby and grow up. Your responsibility is towards your siblings to help them find their foot in life, so pray hard, work smart and make your late dad happy .

😭😭

JuanDeDios:
Clearly your grandfather wants your mom to be happy. So should you. The only problem is all these tradition this tradition that. Can't take her kids with her without forcing a name change? Not good. My suggestion: visit home and discuss your concerns with your mother and grandfather. The tradition might not be as rigid as you have heard.

Its a tradition everyone knows about. It is as rigid as a constitution that cannot be amended

cyberbro:
If your grandpa is the one advising your mother to get married again, don't you think it's because he wants his daughter to be happy again?

How old are you by the way? If you're 21 and above, you shouldn't be insisting on your mother remaining single in her 40s, you don't know the loneliness she's battling and her father might know other things you don't know. 6 years is a long time to mourn someone and I think your mom tried in that regard.

My advice for you is to not judge your mom. Talk to your grandpa and ask why he wants his daughter to get married and learn from his wisdom.

That grandpa will never listen to me. He knows I'm mad at him and my mum right now

Curious345:
Lovely decision from her. Greet her for me Mr Chram .. is she beautiful ?

Very beautiful

havigold:
Dear Chram,
Expressing your hurt and displeasure is allowed as human ,rather than enduring in silence .

If the story stated above is INDEED true.
I will suggest that you allowed your woman to remarry ..
Reasons are :

a. Is better she remarry than to stay alone for her mental health and well being ,if you understand what I mean.

b. No remarried sensible woman will never throw her children away rather there might be a little disconnection from them.

Your role is to stand up and guide your younger siblings in having a meeting with your mum ,talk ,argue and agree on basic issues on this and make decisions about the future

c. Or you bring her out of her father house to the city where the transportation back to the village is farther and expensive , set her up in a profitable business , chat with her daily ( like your girlfriend) and discuss as one family ,this will reduce the chances of remarrying .
In all , women are wired differently than the men ..
So think and act wisely , do not cut ties with her you might regret the decision.

🙏🙏🙏

OfficialP:
How many women.will.wait.for 6 years before they remarry?

You should be proud of ur mum, ur tradition is the problem, not your mum

😭😭

dfrost:
He's actually not.

It depends on you to start taking turht the way it is: the turth. It is painful. The vow was 'till death do them apart'. Your dad unfortunately left the world (my sympathy). Your mom is actually free to remarry. No emotional blackmail should disturb her happiness.

😭

franugo:
I really doubt your story but in the slightest chance that it's real, then you sound like the quintessential selfish teenager from all these oyibo movies, all bark, no bite and no sense

Continue doubting please

Faber:
Bro if your mum get mind want loose guard your siblings her own children, you yourself loose guard all man. Switch of your phones and buy new SIM cards... Forget your Dad's village and whatever going on there....hustle for 10yrs and enter the village as a big boy then pay all man including your mum according to their deeds ...

If you carry your family matter for head you no go make it quick in life... And let me warn you. The best thing to do is to free your mum, make her new husband to be no go kpai you o. This life is hard o, and cruel at the same time .. he don dey sleep with her already and just wants to formalize things... So back off from the marriage. Stop calling your mum, switch off on everyone and watch her run out of that marriage frustrated... her mind no go touch ground if you cut off from her and all your siblings completely, even the new husband mind no go settle...


Approach the issue with a heart of stone as a man, women no care once they want to satisfy their emotions

🙏🙏🙏

GboyegaD:
She deserves her happiness and you shouldn't deny her of this. If she's found love in someone else, let her move on. The part I think you should be bothered about is the wickedness of the culture that wants to severe her from her children because she is married to him. You may want to ask her what her plans are for your siblings when she marries her new husband. The man should be able to take them in without changing their names.

Its fine. Thanks

Kobojunkie:
And rather than cut ties with the silly traditions, na your mama you see to attack? No be cowardice dem dey call that one?

I've heard u Sir. I won't cut ties with her anymore

Rrchrd:
I don't think you can stop ur mum from marriage
I only blame ur tradition
My tradition isn't like that.

Its painful.
I can't accept any form of assistance from her husband as a male child. Even if there's a misunderstanding between them, I am not expected to come in and settle them

Addme:
What do we call this now?
Hunger induced or what?

Theft-induced 🤣

helinues:
They should go to court

They should explain when they see president Tinubu on the campaign trail

Sometimes I wonder if u have human sympathy

grandstar:
Chram

There is nothing wrong if your mum decides to remarry (Read 1 Corinthians 7:36, 39-40)

What is wrong are the customs of your people (Read 1 Timothy 5:

I'm not even allowed by tradition to accept anything from the man especially in monetary terms

madridguy:
Peter Obi is 100% right and reason he didn't conduct local government election while in office as a governor.

Obi is a reincarnate of the Italy's dictactor , Benito Mussolini.

Adolf Hitler of Germany, you are.

The world cup Trophy.
If Nigeria ever wins the World cup, everyone irrespective of their tribes, ethnicity, Political and religious affiliations, would be extremely jubilant on that day

Kobojunkie:
Who currently provides for you and your siblings? Your mother or your father's family?

I'm the one

OboOlora:
make ur mama nor knack?

I believe u have a mother, so try to show some respect to other people's mother's if u actually have respect for yours

arzizhy:
You are being selfish and inconsiderate. I do not think you have hit the age of maturity yet. Because if you have, you'd understand that your mother is a human being with her own biological needs and demands. Would you prefer you hear that your mum is sleeping around to satisfy her needs or she is properly housed with a man to call her own? When you grow to a certain age, you will understand.
Your best line of action is to see how your siblings will be taken care of while your mother marries a new man. It's the best course of action for her and all of you.
Leave your sentiments at the door.

Hummm... Thanks for speaking senses into my head