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NYSCRe: Miss NYSC 2013 Batch C by ChuckNorris007(m): 2:45pm On Nov 17, 2013
henchamb: Haba my sister . It's just miss nysc (as in miss suffer suffer ) not miss world.
and like a truly annoying person with nothing to say, you had to quote the entire write-up to send your message.
Jokes EtcRe: Chuck Norris Facts. by ChuckNorris007(m): 3:29pm On Sep 13, 2013
cool the ice age didn't make dinousaurs extinct, i did. cool
Forum GamesRe: Finish The SENTENCE by ChuckNorris007(m): 6:28pm On Jul 28, 2013
...ever
yes it won't end till...
Jokes EtcRe: Funny FACT About ASUU Strike by ChuckNorris007(m): 8:21pm On Jul 26, 2013
Il Capitano: Mschew...Corpses tell better jokes.
Jokes EtcRe: Letter To President Jonathan, By Al-mustapha by ChuckNorris007(m): 8:18pm On Jul 26, 2013
Gist is too long mehn... i'll be back when the shortened version is released. cool
FoodRe: The Many Uses Of Coca-cola by ChuckNorris007(op): 8:15pm On Jul 26, 2013
Sir Cee: Really,it has been tested and confirmed truth
Coca Cola na al weda and I doff my cap for ahm
sha, whenever i remember this things, it makes me wonder, what the hell have i been drinking all these years??
FoodThe Many Uses Of Coca-cola by ChuckNorris007(op): 7:55pm On Jul 26, 2013
DIFFERENT USES FOR COLA

The main use for Cola is as a beverage, but there are other things it can be used for. Learning the other uses for Cola can save you money on purchasing several different products. For example, Cola can remove stains and rust on metal. That's now two products you don't have to buy.

-Removing Rust and Hard Water
Cola can remove rust from nails and from the bumper of your car. To remove rust on a small object, fill a plastic cup with Cola. Then add the rusted metal object. Leave it overnight and then wipe the rust off with an old rag. To remove rust from larger metal you will need a sheet of aluminum foil. Roll the aluminum foil up in to a ball and dip in the Cola so that it is covered on all sides with the liquid. Rub it in a circle over the rust. You may need to apply the Coke a few times and then rub, but it will work.It is also used in removing hard water from your bathroom tiles and toilet bowls.

-Stain Removal
Cola contains acid that can remove grease and blood stains from fabric. Fill your washing machine and add your normal amount of laundry detergent. Then add one can of Cola. Place a load of laundry in the washing machine including the items with the stains. When the wash cycle is over, your clothing will be stain free. Or add the coca cola into the bowl with soap and water, and wash thoroughly.

-As Medicine
Cola is often used to treat upset stomachs. You must first let the Cola sit out and become flat. If you are feeling nauseous you will want to sip the flat Cola every ten minutes or so until your stomach begins to feel better. If you have an upset stomach due to diarrhea, you can drink the Cola at a faster rate. Your stomach will be feeling better in no time.

-Removing Pests
If you have a problem with slugs or snails you can use Cola as both bait and poison. Pour the Cola in a small dish and watch
the sugar attract the slugs and snails. Once the pests get on the dish the acid will destroy them. Cola also works to remove
bugs from a car windshield. Just pour the Cola over the bugs on the windshield and wait 10 seconds. Use your windshield wipers and the bugs will easily come off.

Forum GamesRe: Finish The SENTENCE by ChuckNorris007(m): 4:23am On Jul 26, 2013
....suffer
suffering is what all pedophiles....
LiteratureRe: Shades Of Grey - A Thrilling Story by ChuckNorris007(op):
Chapter 2

I changed clothes and left my room only to meet my cousin Ada outside, with her nose buried in a plate of akpu and egusi soup.
It was at that moment that my stomach released a loud growl and I realized that I had not yet eaten breakfast. And I didn’t eat dinner last night either.
As I approached her to try and get something in my stomach, she snatched the plate from the table and held it close to her.

‘What do you think you are doing eh? Go and find your own food to eat.’ She hissed before returning to her food.
Leaving her be, I entered the kitchen in search of something to satisfy my hunger and found all the pots empty.
My stomach growled even louder and I told it to shut up. I groaned, this is how things had been since then.
My birth name is Chukwuemeka Tunde Johnson, but people either call me Emeka or Chuck. My parents had died when I was 10-years old and their wealth went to my Uncle Cell and his wife for keeping until I turned eighteen, at least that’s what I was told.

I’m thirteen now and I was sent to the village to live with my Aunt instead of Abuja like Uncle Cele. Since then things have been tough, and life has not been a bed of roses. I had to learn quick or burn out, and at times like this, I thanked God for giving man common sense.
I rushed to the gate, and picked a few stones before throwing it at the gate at the same time giving it an echo like noise.

‘Who is that!’ I shouted as loud as possible before opening the gate and closing it again. I quickly rushed back to Ada who seemed to be interested in who was at the gate.

‘Ada, that fine fair boy that you like is looking for you at the gate!’ I stated in a fake-happy voice.


‘You mean Mike?’ she rose up from the chair with haste.

‘Yes.’ I answered her. I had to steel my facial expression at that moment as I watched her wash her hand and run towards the gate.

Once she was gone, I didn’t miss a beat, I sat down and rushed the remaining morsels of food on her plate like a mad man.
After I had finished, I washed my hands and covered the plate just in time as she returned.
‘He was not there’ she stated angrily.

‘No he was, maybe he left, don’t worry I will find him for you.’ I passed her by and dashed out of the compound at full speed. Once I was sure that I was out of hearing range, I burst into laughter imagining the look on her face when she would uncover her food and find it gone.

My laughter was caught short when my instincts yelled at me to dodge something, I didn’t know what it was but I dodged it anyway and was glad I did.

I noticed three boys, the first one was tall and thin, he didn’t have any muscle on him and he resembled a skeleton I once saw. The middle one was well built, he wasn’t as tall but looked well fed and average. And the last one was what I would describe as ‘The Thing’ from the Fantastic Four. He was ugly, muscular and tall, something told me to avoid him at all costs.

I quickly noticed that the one in the middle was holding a catapult and it was aimed at me.
‘Are you mad!’ I yelled as I noticed that I was standing on a small ridge and he had aimed at me earlier. Looking around quickly, I grabbed a medium-sized, dry stick from the ground and rushed at him.
The stone flew from the slingshot just as I had swung the stick. I felt the resistance and saw the stone fly towards the sky.
I angrily tossed the stick at the short one in the middle who was looking for another stone.

He never even saw it coming.

The stick had struck the side of his head with the force I had thrown it at, and sent him to the ground. The two around him had helped him up and he was glaring at me hatefully.
At this moment, I knew I was screwed.

The three of them had rushed me at once but the thinner one reached me first and swung a fist at my face aiming to knock me out, unfortunately for him, I dodged the punch and swatted his hand to the side, throwing him off balance before decking him with a punch to the stomach. He hunched over in pain and took some steps back, it was then I realized that I was left wide open.

‘You are dead meat!’ the boy I had hit with the stick had some blood on his face along with a huge bruise, and he charged in and punched me in the chest before following up and punching me in the stomach.
The force of the consecutive hits had flushed the air out of my lungs and made me backpedal as I was panting and desperately trying to swallow some sweet oxygen, my chest felt like it was on fire and my stomach stung in pain.
The boy rushed at me once more with another fist. I would have scoffed if I wasn’t in so much pain, he was practically allowing me to hit him.

I ducked under a swing which was so close I felt the breeze pass my face, and with a huge yell of effort swung my arm up in an uppercut that struck him straight in the jaw.
I could have sworn I saw his feet leave the ground as he was knocked backwards, and I had to shake my fist as that punch had really hurt.

The last huge one had surprised me by grabbing me from behind in a grapple, as his arm was wrapped around my neck and he dragged me close to him and began applying as much force as he could.
I gasped for air continuously as I was held in a vicious choke hold, there was no overpowering this one. In an act of survival, I did the only thing I could.

I bit him. Hard.

‘Cheeii!!!’ he had yelled out once my teeth and sunk deep enough into his skin to draw blood and released his grip, being the opportunist that I was, I elbowed him in the ribs and stomped his foot. The pain had let him release me and I quickly reacted before my momentum was gone. In something that seemed to have come out from a Chinese movie, I turned around and performed a move I had seen on wrestling.

Don’t try this at home? Yeah, right.

With a grunt of effort I, I lifted both my legs of the ground and drop-kicked him in the chest sending both of us to the ground in an undignified heap.
I released a breath I didn't know I had been holding and grinned ear-to-ear. Another day, another fight. I didn't get the nickname ‘Chuck Norris’ just because of my good-looks alone.
Exhausted, and having used the little energy I had and food I had eaten to fight, I slowly fell unconscious, not noticing the two adult silhouettes that hovered above me.
LiteratureRe: Shades Of Grey - A Thrilling Story by ChuckNorris007(op): 2:46am On Jul 26, 2013
We live in between worlds: the "truths" and the "illusions", but beneath it all, we live in ignorance. We see what we want, we believe what we see, and we want what we believe. We live a complex life, where the simplicity is overpowered by our complications. In our eyes there is only black and white, but in our lives there lies many shades of grey.

Chapter 1

11 Years Earlier
“Chuck! Chuck! Chuck!”
I grinned ear-to-ear as I felt the crowd call my name, ah yes it was good to be the King.
‘And now the opponent, introducing to the ring, the World Heavyweight Champion… Chuck… Joooooohhhhhnsooooon!!!’
As soon as I ran down the entrance on my way to the ring to take down my opponent, the Undertaker; I was met with a barrage of loud cheers and yells. Ah, It was good to be the king.
The match had been short, I had evaded the Dead Man and knocked him out with my finisher, the ‘Chuck Train’ I had retained my belt.
“The winner and still the World Heavyweight Champion… Chuuuuuck, Joooohhhnnnsoon!”
‘Chuck!!’
‘Chuck!!’
‘Chuck!!’
‘Emeka you this stupid, lazy boy, wake up before I deal with you!’
With the utterance of that one statement the world around me had faded away, and the euphoria had ended. I returned to the world of the living with a huge jolt, and it was then that it had occurred to me that it was too late to evade my punishment.
‘SPLASH!’
Every ounce of sleep in me was chased away and it felt like I had received a cold slap to the face when the water had hit me. I turned and glared at the culprit, that just so happened to be my aunt.
‘You this lazy boy, your mates are out there doing something, and you are here sleeping. If you don’t get out from this place now I will so deal with you’
I didn’t need to be told twice, as I scrambled out of the room as quickly as I could. To get ready for the day, I never knew how important this day would be.
LiteratureShades Of Grey - A Thrilling Story by ChuckNorris007(op):
Prologue

'Argh!!' I grunted out in pain as I felt the bullet rip through my flesh and injure my left arm, I wasted no time and quickly rolled on the ground towards cover.

As I hid behind the black Toyota Corolla car I surveyed the battle field, and it did not look pretty. 'Prrraaaaaah!!' I grunted out as i felt the vehicle take heavy damage from the AK47 that the black clad officer had used. The sounds of gunshots filled the air like a thick mist, and it was glaringly obvious that a battle was taking place. Rearing my mind back to the current situation, I focused on my shoulder wound as I realized that I had been clutching it firmly with my right hand.

I bit on my lip harshly to stop the faint stinging i felt in my eyes, getting shot was not on my bucket-list that's for sure. The entire operation had been a bust, the main leader "Cobra" was down for the count as i spotted him not too far away... lying in a pool of blood... with three bullet holes in his skull...
Turning to the right, our getaway vehicle, a Hummer Jeep was upside down and being devoured and licked by flames. This didn't help in boosting my moral any more. The police had been far more brutal than we had imagined, and if anyone ever told me that the Nigerian Police force were incompetent ever again, he would find himself with a bullet to the head. With a huge grunt of effort, I took my 9mm pistol from the pocket of my suit with my good arm and took aim.
If I was to go down, I would at least shoot down the bastard that took away my better arm from the fight.

'Click!'

"BLAM!"
With a simple squeeze of the trigger, a slight grin came to my face as the bullet had hit home, connecting to the policeman in the middle of his forehead, spurting a small amount of blood and sending him to the ground, dead.
Apparently the other policemen didn't like that and I soon found myself under heavy fire, shattered glass and pieces of the car peppered me as the raid of bullets continued.
Unfortunately for me, the car couldn't stand up to that level of firepower. Realizing that, I rolled away as quickly as I could. Sadly, it wasn't quick enough.

"BOOM!!!"

My cover had become my worst enemy at that moment, as the powerful explosion had sent me flying away like a mere stone, the force of the blast had shattered the glass of my wristwatch, and my ears felt as though they would burst any moment.
Over the pounding of my ears and the multiple burns i had received, my body felt as though I had been baptized in boiling water. I struggled my best to stay conscious, to stay alive, but just like the battle I had experienced, it was futile.

I let out a small bitter laugh, a fitting end for me, I guess. Though who would have thought that it would all come to this...

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