₦airaland Forum

If your wife is the first born, last born or the only girl you should expect her to be very close to her mum.

If the mother does not have a good relationship with her husband or the man is late, then your wife must have been the mum's only gist partner.
All these will contribute to their close relationship.

The mother may be missing her daughter especially if your marriage is less than two years. This may the reason for daily calls.

You have nothing to worry about. Both of them will soon get used to being far away and the frequency of their calls will soon reduce and gradually stop.

Naturally one would expect that the longer a couple lives together, the more they should understand each other and enjoy their company. Unfortunately it does not happen by chance. That is why we say a home is built. You don't expect a 3Bedroom bungalow to just erect itself, it has to be painstakingly designed and built.

Some couples do not make attempt to "build" their marriages. The home is taken like a petrol station where you go to fill your tank and drive away without any emotional attachment to either the filling station or the attendant. You see such couples with zero knowledge of emotional intelligence.

In this very case it was obvious the husband, in attempt to get a cheaper transport to the East, he was moving from one garage to the other without giving a thought to the inconveniences of his wife. He would probably be miser even in the course of their marriage. Maybe the woman has some underlying health issue that going up and down could add to the stress but the husband did not care. All these could have contributed to the aggression and bitterness of the woman. The fact that they continued to display such contempt to each other showed that they must have been the norm in their marriage.

It is also necessary to note that some women become irritable after menopause because of the conflicting hormones they have to contend with at this phase of their lives. Such women require extra care, understanding and maturity from their spouses otherwise, they would display such a level of intolerance, irritability and aggression that you begin to wonder what has happened to them.

Finally, I am happy you also came in contact with peaceful, godly and a happy old couple. I must add that there are many homes filled with joy and happiness. The fact that the stories you read on social media is about dysfunctional families does not mean every home is filled with hatred and bitterness. It is your responsibility to choose the type of home you want to build. You don't get to read positive stories about marriages because such stories don't sell. The society is only interested in negative information.

Anyone can have a peaceful, godly and great family. It is a matter of choice.
By the way, I have been married for 33 years and I am enjoying my marriage with my wife, my children and grandson.

I advise that you pick only what is workable in your home from the numerous advice above.

If you have an understanding and supportive spouse then you can report the case to your husband so that he takes necessary action by cautioning her. He doesn't have to send her away. A mild rebuke would do.

Unfortunately, some spouses would feel that their blood sisters have the right to do anything in their the home, the wife does not have the right to stop them. If this is the case you need to tread with caution. You would need to put up with all her antics for the time being. She will soon return to school. And pray that she gets married in time so that you can enjoy your home.

Send a mail to me. I cannot give such detail in a public forum.

Your friend should have been sensitive enough to know that it is not proper to have his wife and mother under the same roof for so long, especially as he is never around. I want to believe the wife is either an only child or an only girl in her family because this is what usually cause so deep a bond between mother and daughter.

My advice is that he needs to handle this issue carefully. Firstly, he needs to develop a bond with his children. His wife could have been trying to shift their attention from him as their father. Then he should ensure he takes his children to see his own family. Yes the wife would raise a lot of dust but they are his children. He must stand for them. The children should not be brought up as if they have no father.

He can also ask some elders in the church to intervene if possible. His mother in-law has no right to take over his home.

The last resort may be to involve Social Welfare, at least to secure his home and kids. I believe the wife would also be adequately educated that she is married to the man, not her mother.