₦airaland Forum

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Salam alaykum sis coccoh

How are you doing?

Wa alaykum salam warahmotullah wabarakatuh. I'm doing good, Alhamdullilah. How are u as well?

Antidote for Harshness

It was narrated that Hudhaifa (radi Allahu anhu) said: “I was harsh in the way I spoke to my family, but not to others. I mentioned that to the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) and he said, ‘Why don’t you ask for forgiveness? Ask Allah to forgive you, seventy times each day.’” [Sunan Ibn Majah]

In this hadith Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) tells us what to do if we find it difficult to be gentle and loving to those closest to us. He (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) told us to seek forgiveness from Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) many times a day.

This can be a sincere, heart-felt, “Astaghfirullah,” or one of the longer versions mentioned in Ahadith, such as “Astaghfirullaha wa atubu ilaihi.”

Repenting and asking for Allah’s forgiveness are good deeds in themselves because they are a way of feeling and demonstrating servitude to Allah (subhana wa ta’ala). When we consider how small and insignificant we and our Allah-gifted talents are, in comparison to Him, it removes false pride from us that hardens our hearts and makes us arrogant and harsh.

Narrated Abu Huraira (Radi-Allahu 'anhu):

I heard Allah's Apostle (Sallallahu 'Alaihi Wa Sallam) saying, "The good deeds of any person will not make him enter Paradise." (i.e., None can enter Paradise through his good deeds.) They (the Prophet's companions) said, 'Not even you, O Allah's Apostle?' He said, "Not even myself, unless Allah bestows His favor and mercy on me." So be moderate in your religious deeds and do the deeds that are within your ability: and none of you should wish for death, for if he is a good doer, he may increase his good deeds, and if he is an evil doer, he may repent to Allah."

*[Al-Bukhari Vol. 7 : No. 577].*

AbdelKabir:
The Ruling On Disliking Polygamy/ The 'Allaamah Shaykh 'Abdul-'Azeez ibn Baaz


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Whh3742HDQ

This is for those that are not mentally detailed....

.

Deeds A Mirage?

The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Whoever wants to be heard of, Allah will make him heard of, and whoever wants to be seen, Allah will display him.” [Sahih Muslim]

This hadith is a sober reminder for us to purify our intentions. Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) will give us what we desire: if it is fame we want - we will get it, if it is society’s praise we desire - it will be ours. But the utility of this fame and praise will end with our deaths. The only things that will help us then are the deeds we did seeking the Face of Allah (subhana wa ta’ala).

We must keep checking our hearts to determine why we are doing things. We must also continue to ask Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) for His help in purifying our intentions (Niyyah). May our deeds not be a mirage; that they appear wonderful from a distance but close up, on the Day of Judgement, don’t exist because they were not done for Allah’s pleasure.

*The Struggle (in the Cause of Allah)*




107. Thauban  (May Allah be pleased with him) said: I heard Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم saying,

_"Perform Salah more often. For every prostration that you perform before Allah will raise your position one degree and will remit one of your sins"._

*[Muslim].*

*Commentary:*

Abundance of prostrations means strict observance of Salat and performance of obligatory and optional and voluntary prayers, it is a means for atonement of sins and the elevation of one's status in this life and the Hereafter.

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^^

Jazakallahu Khyran

Wa iyyak

*Piety*


70. Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said,

_"The life of the world is sweet and green. Allah makes you generations succeeding one another so that He may try you in respect of your actions. So beware of the beguilements of the world and those of women. The first trial of Banu Israel was through women"._

*[Muslim].*

*Commentary:* Wealth and property of this world are favourites of everyone like the fresh fruit which is sweet, delicious and attractive for all. Everyone likes them and is attracted towards them. The most delicious fruit of this world is woman but at the same time it is the most baneful. One who inclines towards wealth and women and ignores the Islamic legal injunctions, has at stake both his Deen and Faith; and one who benefits from them keeping oneself within the bounds of Islam, would be safe from their ruinous effects.

*

Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatuhu

Today's beautiful reminder is about condemning others:

Jundub bin 'Abdullah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said, *"Once someone said: 'By Allah! Allah will not forgive such and such (a person).' Thereupon Allah, the Exalted and the Glorious, said: 'Who is he who takes an oath in My Name that I will not grant pardon to so-and-so? I have granted pardon to so-and-so and rendered your good deeds fruitless.'''*

[Muslim].

Some people become self-conceited as a result of their excessive worship to the point that they start disparaging and making low estimates of their fellow Muslims and their deeds, little knowing that Allah, Glorious is He, is of vast forgiveness. They do not realize that if Allah so wills, He can destroy all their deeds and consign them to Hell and send the other people who have been disparaged and underestimated to Jannah. Therefore, one should never become proud of his piety nor should one consider others of little value or good deeds, as only Allah Alone knows what is inside our hearts.

amynah94:
I actually stays in Oshodi but I don't mind anywhere in Lagos

As salam alaykum, theres a full time hifdh class at Ilupeju as well. I think the classea are held Monday to Friday. You can go there to find out. Shonibare Mosque in Ilupeju.

AbdelKabir:
it was inferred from the hadeeth where the prophet said: There is no salaah for one who does not read ummul kitaab(i.e faatihah), so the scholars like ibn uthaymeen inferred that the prophet didnt specify if it is silent or loud.

in the shareeah, things are generally permissible except there is text stating otherwise

I think these links from shaykh saalih al-munajjid(hafidhohullaah) site should suffice.

https://islamqa.info/en/67672

https://islamqa.info/en/26268

Jazakallahu khayran.

AbdelKabir:
maybe i should add that reading out loudly or silently in the prayers that we do either of the two is sunnah and not obligatory, why I'm saying this is, your salaah wont be invalid if you read silently where you are supposed to read loudly or vice versa.

if you deliberately read out loud where you supposed to read silently or vise versa deliberately, then you neglecting a sunnah and your salaah is deficient but not invalid also no sin on you for that, as scholars explained.

Please, can u provide evidence for me on this. Jazakallahu khayran.6

busar:
Tor! May Allah make the journey an easy one for you......

*

snapscore:
Marital books? I might benefit from them. Can they be gotten online? I am not sure but I think I have come accross the ideal Muslimah once- I think one of my friends showed it to me. I guess I can download one if possible and read it during my 'free time'. I am not much of a reader tbh but its worth trying.

Na'am. You'll benefit from them in sha Allah. You should be able to download them, the ideal Muslimah encompasses a lot, its just the way of life of the muslim woman. I aint done reading sef, its abt 500pages

busar:
Ahan! Just marital books, na only you waka come! Hope you are married sha

*

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Wa iyyaki. What type of books do you read? I never considered reading books. Agree with your point on phones.

Islamic books actually; the likes of Tales of Marital love by Abu Mazeedatil Khayr Abdul Rauf Bn sa'eed, The gift of Nikkah by Muhammad Ebrahim, The ideal Muslimah by Dr. Muhammad Ali al-Hashimi, Husband and wife Relationship by Abu sufyan ibn Abubakar and several books from Islamic Education Trust and Darussalam. Dont mind me, i'm really obsessed with marital books.

snapscore:
I think it depends what stage the person is at. Going out, socializing and keeping my phones and laptop out of sight help me. Spending time with familes- playing educative games, I am not sure what the official name is but you name a country and guess things. But I did speak to a counsellor first because I felt I was addicted, couldn't stop and didn't have control. Alhamdulliah I dont feel that way anymore and I have gone a few days without it.

In summary keep phones and laptops way. Send more with familes and friends

Jazakallahu khayran. Alhamdullilah, I've always had control over my gadgets and not the other way round and i pray it remains so. At my leisure time, i just read books which has been really helpful cos addiction to phone could make one loose a whole lots of things, it makes you procastinate and even sometimes engage in things that are not neceasary. Anyways, i blame cheap data.

amynah94:
Can you please tell me more about those ones, jahzakum llahu khairan

Wa anta fajakillahu khayran. Na'am, there are 3 different madrasa that i know of in my area @Ebute-metta. Theres one in Adekunle just behind Mrs filling station(i'd recommend this), theres another in Mccullum street which is owned by JIBWIS, but they teach their islamiyyah in hausa(their hifdh class here is very sound) and the third one holds their madrasa at Lagos Mainland central mosque. All of these 3madrasa are upon the sunnah, i can guarantee that.

amynah94:
I actually stays in Oshodi but I don't mind anywhere in Lagos

!!!!!

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I don't think children are the only one who need to get away from games. Adults that are addicted to the internet and their phones need it too.

What feasible solution are there for an adult? Cos the parent might not be able to do much for the adult ones.

AbdelKabir:
perhaps sister @coccoh would know

salaam alaykum @coccoh, do you know any?

Na'am. Wa alaykum salam warahmotullah wabarakatuh. It depends on the location in Lagos. The ones i know are in Lagos Mainland.

AbdelKabir:
we thread the path of the past scholars, the science of Al-jarh – criticism

Gheebah becomes permissible, you warn against the stubborn person, just as how we warn against the likes of Habib Al-ilory, Jabata, Qaradawiy, onikijipa(the babalawo) and so on.

And if after several warnings, what happens afterwards? We leave them?

busar:
na khimar she go wear

.

Jabir (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: A bedouin came to the prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) and asked him, "O Allah's Messenger, what are the two imperatives which lead to jannah or Hell. "He صلى الله عليه و سلم replied, "He who dies without associating anything with Allah will enter Jannah, and he who dies associating partners with Allah will enter the fire." (MUSLIM)

*COMMENTARY*: This hadith holds promise for a muslim that being a muslim and Muwahhid (believer in the oneness of Allah) he will be at last sent to jannah. Whether he goes straight to jannah or after suffering the punishment of his sins in Hell, is a separate issue, but he will not remain in hell for ever. Eternal punishment in Hell is reserved only for pagans, polytheists, and infidels.

Extracted from Riyad-us-saliheen Chapter 50, page144.

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Oh okay.

Jazakallahu Khyran for the explanation.

I will just limit my search to those from downtown like myself

Wa anta fajazakillahu khayran. Berra for u my sister cos the rate at which those people up dere take amala and ewedu serious ehn, its not here at all.

snapscore:
Ohh....okay.

What does it mean in English though? I know ilu means town. I am not sure what okere means.

I think the okere means uptown..... lagos and ogun should be downtown

snapscore:
What is ilu oke?

Kwara, Osun, Oyo and the likes is ilu okere

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I was going through the thread and I really learnt a lot from it!
So I guess I would add mine. The list is incomplete.
The most important characteristics I look for are righteousness and character, followed by family lineage, not sure if beauty or wealth would come next.
Now in terms of religion and character
I would like someone knowledgeable and practicing. If not knowledgeable enough but able to accept the truth when presented to him.

*Shouldn’t be ladies man. I cannot blame a man for being handsome but I can blame him for being flirty and keeping female companions. This is one of my biggest turn off.

Respect*- Respectful and polite doesn’t just mean to greet people anyone. But someone with principles (like me) and tolerate and able to relate with people in respectful manner. For example, I cannot stand someone who curses, someone who says every four letter swear word. I understand sometimes people need to take out their frustration but there are alternative like say flying poatatoes or flip flops or whatever. I would not want my kids to pick up these habits. I have seen kids use curse words and I am left to wonder where they picked it from.

*Not be arrogant- I can’t stand it!
*Not stingy
*Family oriented- If or when I do have a family, I would like someone who understands that work isn’t everything. I would like someone who does not mind taking off to spend with family.
*Hardworking- Should be goal oriented- knowing what he wants in life and work towards it.
Shy- Shyness is a beautiful thing
Intelligent &Mature
Education level- University level... I dunno
Finance/employment/type of job – As long as it’s halal based
Social status- I don’t think I have a preference but as long as we can afford our needs and wants.

Family heritage/ nobility - This is the next thing I look for after religion and character. Some characteristics are passed on to children. What type of family are they? What are they known for? Are they understanding? Are they the type would get offended when I speak English or greet them in English? Are they the type to get upset at me when me and my husband have decided on a matter that they aren’t pleased with.

*Should not hit women or get easily angered.
*Shouldn’t be the type to hold grudges or keep malice
*Should believe in communication and opening up feelings. If I have asked you why you are upset twice and you just shu enu jo ...I probably won’t ask again
*Understands that I do not believe it is an obligation to cook or clean. Not the type to be going out every weekend or inviting friends every weekend- realistically speaking some nurses have only a day off during the weekend. If I happen to be working in the hospital and hubby invites six of his friend over without informing me, he should know that I am under no obligation to start cooking a variety of dishes. I deserve my weekend as much as he does
[/b]*Understand that I do not cook amala, eba, ewedu and co. I may do it for him but I don't eat them.[b]
*Jealousy is natural but being possessive is not
*Confident
Caring and sensitive
Preferably, likes the gym and believes in living a healthy lifestyle. I would love to workout with my husband and raise healthy kids.

An ilu oke person wee nt gree on this one oo . I pray Allah provide the best for u and me.

RABIUSHILE04:
The Correct Way For A Salafi To Treat A Family Member Who Is From Ahlul Bid'ah – Shaykh Ubayd Al-Jaabiree (May Allah preserve him)...⬇
Shaykh Ubayd Al-Jaabiree said, “This is something that exists, without doubt. For verily, in many houses, you will find that there is only one sunnee-salafee; one man or one woman, and the rest of them are all people of bid’ah. That person has to have a good kind of siyaasah [i.e. a diplomatic or wise way of dealing with these people]. And he should show them love and affection, and win them over with kindness. Yes.
He should clarify the truth for them with a clarification of love, sincere affection and honesty.
Also he should not rise against them, the rising of a lion upon its prey; nor should he manifest to them that they are deviants and that he is the one who is upon the truth and right guidance.
Rather, it is upon him to follow or to seize the opportunity of kinship; to take advantage of this kinship, and that he clarifies (the truth) to them until Allaah Azza wa Jalla guides them. And it is upon him to exercise patience and sacrifice. He should not be hasty, as long as the bidah is mufassiqah [i.e. an innovation which doesn’t expel the doer from the fold of Islaam].
So it is upon him to be patient and make sacrifice, and that he be serious and exert himself in this.
As well, he should entrust his affairs to Allaah with supplication in seeking their guidance and their returning to the Sunnah. Yes…
As far as our experience shows, people benefit from the use of wisdom and a good siyaasah [i.e. a diplomatic or wise way of dealing with these people] , whether they are regular people or ‘ulamaa (scholars).
[/b]But as for the stubborn rejecter, then he should be dealt with according to ability and strength…”[b]
Ref: A Cassette entitled ‘Dawaabit mu’aamalatis sunnee lil-bid’ee’
Audio and PDF download link available here:
http://www.troid.ca/index.php/ibaadah/advice/methodology-of-giving-advice/1233-how-should-a-sunnee-deal-with-a-relative-who-is-upon-bidah

How can he/she be dealt with? Please kindly clarify more on this

Narrated Abu Huraira (Radi-Allahu 'anhu):

The Prophet (Sallallahu 'Alaihi Wa Sallam) said, "Allah has forgiven my followers the evil thoughts that occur to their minds, as long as such thoughts are not put into action or uttered." And Qatada said, "If someone divorces his wife just in his mind, such an unuttered divorce has no
effect."

[Al-Bukhari Vol. 7 : No. 194]

[s][/s]

busar:
Any evidence for this ma? Wa alaykumus salaam wa rahmatullah wa barakaatuh

Luqman was once asked: “Who is the best one in terms of patience?” He said: “It is the one who practices no harm after observing patience.” Then he was asked: “Who is the best one in terms of knowledge?” He said: “It is he who adds to his own knowledge through the knowledge of others.” When asked: “Who is the best from among the whole people?” he said: “It is the wealthy.” They said: “Is it the one who has properties and riches?” He said: “No! But, it is the one who is generous in doing good when others seek it from him, and, it is the one who does not need anything from others”(narrated by Abdur Razzaq after Mu’amir after Ayyub after Abu Qulabah).