₦airaland Forum

omo see asss, were is my vaseline

hehehe women and money is like monkey and banana

mother of 3,those sexy hips stil dey,she try sha

1. Any man who successfully convinces a monkey that honey is sweeter than banana, is capable of selling condoms to a Roman father.
2. Dear ladies, If your boyfriend didn't wish you a happy mother's day or sing sweet mother for you, you should stop breastfeeding him.
3. He who swallows a complete coconut have
absolute trust in his anus.
4. Dear sisters, don't be deceived by a man who text you "I miss you" only when it's raining, because you are not an umbrella.
5. Swimming pool is more useful than Liverpool.
6. If over 15 guys have sucked your breasts, you don't need to call those things "your breasts", It's called COW BELL, OUR MILK! - Repeat after me, OUR MILK!
7. It's hard to bewitch African girls these days. Every time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire.
8. All I hear always is, 'No sex before marriage?' If that was God's plan, then you would receive your penis or vagina on your wedding day.
9. The only warning Africans take serious is LOW BATTERY.
10. Men sucking lady's breast is normal because the act was learnt in childhood when they were young but the act of lady's sucking men's d*ck is what baffles me, where did they learn it from?
11. Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the Devil comes along and gives you a 'girlfriend'.
12. When your clothes are made of cassava leaves, you don't take a goat as a friend.
13. If you have attended over 100 weddings in your life and still single, you are not different from a Canopy.
14. Dating a slim/slender guy is cool. The problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw adidas lines on your face.
15. If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty because men don't walk around with X-rays to see inner beauty.
16. Respect pregnant women because it's not easy walking around with evidence that you've had sex.
17. Some of the girls of today can't even jog for 5 minutes but they expect a guy to last in bed with you for 2 hours? Your level of selfishness demands a one week crusade.
18. I stopped trusting ladies when my class 3 girlfriend left me for another boy all because he bought a sharpener wid a mirror.
19. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a "broke" man who's extremely good in bed.
20. Witchcraft is when a 24 year old girl who cannot jog for 5 minutes expects a 40 year old man to last for 1 hour in bed.
21. Being dumped by a dark-skinned girl is the worst thing ever; because anytime you get home and see charcoal, you become emotional.
22. Women with beauty and no brains, it is your private parts will suffer the most.
23. When one's goat gets missing, the aroma of a neighbour's soup gets suspicious.
24. Its better for a man to be stingy with his money because he hustled for it than a woman to deny you a hole she didn't drill.
25. Even Satan wasn't gay, he approached naked Eve instead of naked Adam. Say no to same-sex marriage.
26. If you are a married man and you find yourself attracted to school girls, just buy your wife a school uniform.
27. It is every man's dream to remove a woman's pant one day but NOT when it's on a drying line.
28. Virginity is the best wedding gift any man would receive from his newly wed wife but lately, there's nothing as such any-longer because it'll have already been given out as a Birthday gift, token of Appreciation, Job assurance, Church collection, Examination marking schemes & for Lorry fares!"
29. Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow.
30. We are living in a generation where people “in love” are free to touch each others’ private parts but cannot touch each others’ phones because they’re private.”
31. Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than send it to your mum and you realise witchcraft is real.
32. If President Barack Obama wants me to allow marriage for same-sex couples in my country (Zimbabwe), he must come here so that I marry him first.
33. South Africans will kick down a statue of a dead white man but won’t even attempt to slap a live one. Yet they can stone to death a black man simply because he’s a foreigner.
34. What is the problem? We now have aeroplanes which can take them back quicker than the ships used by their ancestors.
35. Mr Bush, Mr. Blair and now Mr Brown's sense of human rights precludes our people's right to their God-given resources, which in their view must be controlled by their kith and kin. I am termed dictator because I have rejected this supremacist view and frustrated the neo-colonialists.
36. Cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in a piece of paper with fire on one end and a fool on the other end.
37. A brave man is he who has a running stomach and still wants to flatulate.
38. Journalist: Sir don't you think 89 years would be a great time to retire as a President.
Mugabe: Have you ever asked the Queen this question or is it just for African leaders?
39. Interviewer: Mr President, when are you bidding the people of Zimbabwe farewell?
Robert: Where are they going?
40. My dear ladies, please don't buy a selfie stick when your armpit itself needs a shaving stick.

Emperessnaughty:
taaahrr!
U don make enof money for us like Mj husband?

No worry Bae i go soon make am,so dnt think of coming back o

suzan404:
Driver....abeg drop me here

make sure u pay am o

Heartless bit ch,may God punish her

Emperessnaughty:
Awwww Shuld I say I love MJ's life? Shuld I just say I want mine to be like hers?
Smh.. Not all dat glitter is gold

that could be us,but u aint loyal

obowunmi:
I was almost beaten to death in secondary school and my parents did nothing because my dad beats my mom.

thats bad,if anyone try that kind tin on me,i knw my my parent wil take serious action on the entire skul,i feel sorry for u.

Unblockable:
Owky... Nwa ooo adayi!!

lolz

daretodiffer:
You are still a student. If there is no need for it, wait till you are ready. Till then, always ask God for what your want in a spouse.

thanks Sis

Unblockable:
Are you from Igarra, guy? Oyi is what Igarra calls thieves.

Am ebira

IshiBANmore:
You really need to start fucking. It's getting late

baad Niggur

Trustdee:
Naija mentality . a Guy is askin for something and the best you can do is call names., i pity u!
I just wish thiefs ask nice the way i did.
Few niggas need sense.

my brother u are a beggar

Elnino4ladies:
Where is my vaseline...choiii

una don come abu,pervert!

mehn she is hot,My guy jim don loose Bae o

Safemode:
Yes its normal. You need to v a trusted relationship & be physically (which you are), spiritually & financially mature to get married

Thanks bro

Trustdee:
Ah! Na person like you go just dey block person progress.

Since u knw say u no go send anytin.. just read an continue. abi na problem to ask wetin i want.

Abeg..stil waitin for that person who wil recieve Gods blessing.

thief ole,oyi,barawo

Cutehector:
I gave myself a deadline. Dat at age 30 I must b married.

I hear u bro,wish u all d best

olihilistic:
STFUareyouG0d has said what's on my mind.

guy go make aboki give you touch and follow

hehehe abi

wiringdpt:
Final year student and you dey blow grammar like this?

Lolz,no mind my grammer bro

possibilita:
I don't knw if its normal Bro but we dey d same shoe.

but i believe that am yet to meet my mrs right,maybe after school

if anyone beat my child like,i go kill am

nawa o,i wonder wat pleasure they derive frm this shit

Am Boy of 27 years and a final year student for that matter but still single,all i have and believe is being friends with girls,most of my friends used to say am afraid of girls but actually am not,pls is this normal for a guy at my age to be single up to now?

JOYOSITA:
He is showing off that small thing?

that small tin already made him a father o

chimaobinelson:
chai na man de nack dis Ukwu

Oma na man o,i must be jealous of him

Thank God say am single,i can use anybody pic i want.

I wonder why all the shitts becoming rampant after sex is very cheap,cheap puvssies everywere some r even free

PinkBarbie:
That lady is heartless!
Well...

she wicked die,i love ur assss

This girl no fine,bone face,assless,boobless and she no get meat for body

Seems like those gurls no dey work,but begging guys for money,well am still a student without any working experience now.