₦airaland Forum

Hazkel:
Thanks a lot. I appreciate

I loved your story too. Godspeed to your finger tips.
I'm vouching for you. put more effort. You my just somehow miraculously evidently turn out to be the winner.

got my eyes on one contestant.

The descriptions are always superb. you get to see them in your mind's eye . I'm not too surprised as nobody does it better than the Queen.

Lani is that one rare queen of explicit detailing. More of the fear Factor. more and more.
just more I will say.
power words. She knows what we want and even as we cant get to say it, Linda
's pains keep us refreshing the pages. She gives it to us. Not hardcore though

Bravo! Lani. simply. I salute you.


And as for Linda's ordeal. I comment My reserve.


This story is already a blockbuster.

queenitee:
Creeza!!!! Where have you been? So cos you finished your story, na to disappear remain abi? When are you starting a new story?

my dear, don't mind me Ojare. I'm currently working on something. I want to finish it first then we talk about posting.
that way, it's easier. win win for everybody.


lani, what's the difference between sick and not well. lol

your comment cracked my left rib.

Oyindawealth:
my fellow Nairalander u don talk am finish..Olorun n gbo.....

Alaye na so I see am na so I still talk put gan

1marking:
Eh yah sorry LLEIGH get well soonest

really ?

Lleigh:
Creeza thank you for such an eloquent post.
My cheeks are burning thank you.

How are things with you?

I will look into it i.e commercializing.
You read it very

Hope you stay with the thread. God bless

Been very busy and struggling with ailment at the same time

rachealfst:
High 5 creeza, you just mentioned one of my favorite TV series. Grey's anatomy season 1-13 and still counting.
BTW I agree with you, writers need to do a lot of research for effective writings. Even if it's not your area of interest e.g some people might not like medical related stuff. But a writer has no choice, research is an essential ingredient, we just have to learn the art.

thank you my dear. I'm just being honest as honest can be.

kinwayne:
Grey's Anatomy. Season 1-13= Check= Watched every episode

As a matter of fact, I got inspiration for the storyline from the film

simple. same thought I had when I saw the storyline. my mind just pictured that disturbing resident doctor. What's the her name again Doc Bervely? the short and kinda dark woman- I just saw her in my head as she stood helpless - in her blue scrub , head band on, pager on the left hook of her belt -while her husband was undergoing surgery.


to win this kind of competition. you stick to the guidelines, ask people and you come out best.

I rest my case.

took a long time coming but I read everything. Lani didn't relent to keep on mentioning my moniker. thumbs up Lani leigh

I couldn't stop laughing at some points to jagugu88li comments.

then came the part where Adesina made mention of vaccline crew.

Stephengee12 is afraid of our author

There was this guy that kept on commenting " nice one bro. you are good. " stuffs like. I want to ask : cant people differentiate between m and f again. Haa!!!! I fear Africa o. anyway it's well

Poor Tunde, doh! you are held under a spell. it would take the intervention of God to break you free.

Enitan sorry for your misfortunes. in life shi*t happens. And funny as it sounds she doesn't even know that Tunde is held under a juju spell. Kai. You too you need prayers. if you had been spiritually sound, the devil would never come knocking on your door.

Dele abi Delete or whatever that my auto correct popped out all the Yoruba's in the house ejo o. Ema bi nu. so as I was saying my dear Bamidele , You should just leave a broken home to mend back naturally.

Sincerely speaking , I think after all this frenzy, the jazz go clear for Tunde eye. but that part where he stored her number with cook, e pain me sha. chai. person Mama. cook. Apostle will hear of this. say it again : cook. Jesus is lord!

Linda . Do a Linda. Nairaland involvement in that chapter made me happy. I couldn't stop smiling. But then I get sad again eventually :'-( whenever I watch-sorry - read about those dogs ramming brutally and ferociously into Linda. it's so disheartening I must say. Even when I try to feel pity for her, her past comes slapping me off that lane.

I wish her sorrow but I think she has had a enough.
abi Adesina12 you no reason am so?


To make a conclusion on this my yeye but sincere comment. in case you guys didn't see it.

The buyer was shocked to see Lucien. Lucien was shocked too... I am very sure that our buyer is no one than.... okay lemme keep quiet but if you still have doubts read the part of the kidnap and the car park bomblast.


Lani God bless you. I'd advice you to make your works commercial. through it you get little returns for your talent. its God you will say. I know. I read your thought, but then a working hand gasts to Chop.

my Bini people will tell you that where person dae work , na there be Im workShop.


Gracias muchos . I sign out.

Missmossy:
Awww beautiful end Creeza, our mistakes shouldn't affect our present situation. Like your simple diction, makes it easy for the story to be understood. Finally this story ended well done.

Na you o. Weldon MAh! you forget me na . oshe baddest!!! . But that said, I had finished the story months ago.

Thank you for the endorsement too.

" I like your diction " this One got me blushing.

wow what can I say? I don't want to be biased but many failed to stick to the rules. it's really bad though given that they couldn't write in less than 1000 words. This is simply flash fiction but a little bit more- jidenna 's party banger.

It's a short story and to write a really compelling medical tragedy you need to do research or watch movies like " Grey's anatomy." I bet things would have been easy and bettter if they did the above.

Kimberlywest made mention about compelling openings. Seriously the stories I liked where the ones that grabbed me from the beginning.

That said, they all tried and to be honest I don't know how I would have performed if I had joined. just dont mind me Ojare.

my mind plays trick with me sometimes

Olubee22:
Pheww, that was really good . The suspense no be for here ,at a point I thought it was Dani that set that stewpid Izzy up but then it was nice . Wehdone sir!

thank you ma.
I'm currently working on something special. something nice. something fast. something you will like. in short as these sentences short like this. that's how the action will be. short lines and intense action. no be fast and furious sha. but dae with me. or kindly follow up. it's going to be something you never had.

Abeg pardon me for the free advert. your Comment motivated me.

Gracias

This looks motivating. can I join?

Lleigh:
Creeza please forgive me. You not being mentioned was an oversight. Not intentional, please take your seat.

Hope you have been well

It's good to be back.

Sure

okay . the quuen is back. Lemme take a seat here , never unfollowed , though I was not mentioned


It's really good to see The Queen of descriptions back Lleigh welcome home to Literature land

Nice story . I must confess it pulled me out of my ghost mode .

Been glancing at different stories on nairaland, and this is a masterpiece. So original

Bravo EvaJael


I'm still following, although I won't be regular just so you knw, but all the best my dear . Keep it up and skyrocket past your limits
And as you are up to that,
lemme brainstorm and script out my next story.

It's coming to nairaland early next year. And on Okadabooks shortly afterwards.
#gracias

#i_hope I won't get kicked out of here for the free advert?

Bb4u:
well done bro...been following for a while. thanks for completing it

Thank you too for following

BlissfulJeff:
weldone creeza,u nailed it,wat an end...

gracias

Adesina12:
Well done Creeza

Thank you sir .

tunjilomo:
The ending was perfect

I'm grateful ... thank you for the kind comments so far. .

Eniqurl:
Wow! What a nice story.... Thumbs up Creeza

Thank you dear ... I appreciate

smh.
This is serious

queenitee:
Yeeeeeeeee thank you, thank you, thank you. This story is just wow. Thank you. You did Justice to the story. I don't know what to say self. It's the best Creeza. Waiting for more story. Thank you

I'm honored

Oly23:
na you talk am oo

Hehehe oly23 , you still dae here.? I hail o. And soryy for the late quote I was very busy.

Akinwale14:
Hmmm Nice story tho thumbs up

thanks a lot man . Thanks for being there . I appreciate. Izzy has suffered quite a lot, remember she lost her dad before all these happend.


And I will do just well to mention you in my next post

hormobolanle:

Biko I b gel o
d name resemble boy own

Eya, ema Binu o... Thank you sha , you came at the right moment .

Akinwale14:
War!!,wetin Dani see for this mumu girl body sef,after cheating on him with that mumu fake boy Ade,Dani stil get mind and forgive lizzy, this one na real stupid love.

lol , in life shit happens ....

Chapter 15...




Iziegbe





Daniel paid for the Indomie take -away dishes . He also put the Nutri milk he had bought earlier into a nylon and handed it to me. He held the drugs he had bought for Kechi, as the doctors had prescribed.

All the while I was speechless. Dani was the caller behind the secret number . I was mad at him but instead , I took out my anger for the suspense on Kechi. Everything happend so fast. She probably knew it was him all along and still kept me in the dark. Now I was afraid to ask Dani for further explanations , who am I to question his actions?

He only told me his main reason for using the number was to make sure I was out of danger and that he confirmed it everytime he heard my voice on the phone. But why didn't he reply each time. why do that now?

All these were on my mind but I chose to remain silent.


It was already dark and June 12 - was boiling with sales. Students walked in and out . Many stood on que to withdraw from the Fidelity bank ATM gallery at a corner. Others bought snacks and the lines waiting for Suya or toasted bread with eggs were enough to boost your G.P .

We left June 12 and walked into hall 2 car park. The legendary hall 2 where things happened, you should come and see for yourself . The experience is for a lifetime.

We hopped into Dani's Ferrari Beast . He tuned on his music set and Ycee's Juice escaped the speakers . We drove to the Health centre where Kechi was admitted.

When we arrived , Dani apologised to Kechi on my behalf. He even told her I acted out of stupidity.

Fejiro was present and had been taking care of Kechi after the doctors stopped her bleeding .

I looked at Dani. He handed the drugs to Kechi . Both smiled to each other.

At that moment I realised that their friendship was of the purest form . Dani was a fine gentleman with a heart of gold.

He stared back at me and his eyes caught mine off guard.

" I'm sorry " I said finally.

'For what?


" Everything. " I began " my pride and lust nearly tore us apart . I mean- even after everything you still-"

" If you knew. it wouldn't have made any diference " Dani cut in as he took a seat " Even me . I had no idea of his identity until I investigated it. You were only a victim of circumstances "


" It made me realise-"


" It tore us part actually " he continued " it did . But Kechi is the reason why we are still here "

I asked him what will happen to Ade now ". He said he will be prepared to face him if Ade comes knocking again.


I was a fool all along to not cherish this man before me. He was always one step ahead . it didn't matter if he had money to spend or not, What stood out most to me , was his love and affection that was unparalleled. He extended it to everyone that he came across with.

" Thank you . Sweet heart " I said .

"That's a new " Dani replied


" Yea. My love for you is brand new " I turned to Kechi " And you my beloved sister and friend "


She smiled .


" I'm so sorry for stabbing you. I -- I --- I know we haven't really been the best of friends but without you am incomplete . Im not Izzy. please forgive me "

Kechi joked underneath her pain " You are Iz.. the Zzy is not there "

I laughed. we all burst into laughter.

Then silence cut through the air . It was not long though before I broke it.

" I don't even know why this is funny to me? I asked

" Yea " Kechi said " But it's kind of funny. really"

we laughed again.


Kechi asked Dani about Clinton. He told her that Clinton travelled with Amaka to South Africa on a visit to his Grandma's town in Jo' burg . They would be back after a couple of weeks .

I cut in and asked Dani where we would spend our own holiday . He said he was still considering Dubai. I nearly screamed out loud.


" Oh my ---" I hugged him so tight " Muauhhhh. I love you so much "

Kechi dropped a comment " Lucky you . Me that has no one to take me for holidays. Giving our exams are over. I will just relax in my lane"



Dani tried to say something before Fejiro interrupted " Kechi don't worry eh. our vacation will be on the moon and when we return - you and I - Our love story will be written on the Sands of time . trust me" He was so certain.


" Chai " Kechi blurted " Your mates are taking people to South Africa and Dubai , your own is moon and sand. Oya go and pack one bucket of sand na , let's start eating it. Sands of time Ko, Stone of love ni"

We all burst into laughter again .


Then my phone rang. I picked up the dialer . It was my uncle. Uncle Barry yelled at me on the phone and ordered me home immediately. He said I have a lot of explanations to do.


Uncle Barry never calls me randomly. It's always important and my mind flew to Efua's case. The one we had hid from him all along. Disaster will surely befall the four of us that were present there that day.


As the day withered ,many secrets would still be left untouched . Lies would still live in our hearts . Vanity will always be the same. And it would be that way for years to come.

It will be for the best though, because right now , this moment where we are , everything is well . We found freedom from our desires and it was well indeed.





The End.






Thank you for sticking around . It was a bumpy ride but we finished this one.



I hope I was able to justify the title of the story literally and figuratively ,any of the two both of them ( lol ) . Just kidding.
And also I hope the little details all link up in a perfect pattern.
Graciāz

I want to read your take on the story.

queenitee:
Hurray!!!!

Lol , sorry you had to wait that long...

* continues

Sorry for the late update It's my fault .


Izzy






Kechi moved backwards and I sensed she was scared. I threw a slap to her face . Her eyes beamed and she retaliated with a resounding slap.
Darkness enveloped me , the last thing I remember is being hit by a force to my left jaw , Then here I am underneath Kechi and struggling on the bed. I pulled her hair . she scrambled off my fingers. She dozed brutal slaps into my eyes.

Everything became pitch black again. My brain tried to recollect my location- So Hell was this dark and void ? . I lost track of time as it stood still and my pain became eternal .

I pulled out from Kechi's grip. I flung her to a wall nearby. I picked a pillow. She dodged it. She grasped me . She yanked me. A turn to the left . then to the right . We crashed into my makeup set and the wall mirror shattered. A sharp pain stung me from behind and racked my spine.
I would survive it , if only Kechi is pulled away from me.

She further baptised my cheeks with brand new punches and slaps. She fought like a wounded lion- like a boy. Different colors flashed through my subconscious mind. Blue. Red. Black . White. Then came Yellow or was it orange? Then Blue again.
People rushed in. Finally. God bless the human beings . They pulled Kechi away .

" Leave me. " Kechi said as she fumed with anger . " Let me teach this fool , a lesson. Let me deal with this Mumu , you donn grow wings abi. Idiot "

My once well kempt hair was now a mirage of disaster. My clothes barely recognised the edges on my body. I slided to the tiles before opening my eyes. I gasped for air.

" You are the biggest fool " I replied " Asawo! woooooo! Liar " I said as I clapped my palms.

Kechi stormed out again but Fejiro who had pulled her back earlier, made sure she didn't break free .Some girls walked towards me . They held me back.

Kechi continued " You dare blame me for every mistake you made. When you were doing it , it was sweet abi? E dae sweet you for body. Now you dae call me asawo, how pathetic "

" Get out my house , you are a witch. Witch!! winch !! tell them you did not see me.. woooooo! !" I yelled out.

Nkechi said I was the Witch. In anger , she told me how she had wished me dead when I was was admitted at the hospital. That she would have done anything to collect Dani back, but she didn't because she loved me as a sister.

Things took a left turn when Ade arrived . He had offered her two terrible options and promised her Dani as a reward.


" You have no idea what I felt at that point. But I played along . That's why I told you I never trusted that man " she paused, as tears escaped her eyes " I wanted to know why he was doing it. but he never gave me reasons. I reported the isssue to Dani but he waved it as rubbish. He didn't even trust me then -'"

" And why should he ? Devil . You will rot in hell for your doings " I cut in angrily.

Fejiro told me to keep it down and just let things dissolve naturally.


" Yes I'm a devil. But the this devil is the reason you still have your boyfriend .

" What do you mean ?

" When he noticed your behaviours towards him , I urged him to give you time to realise your mistakes. . NOT TO GIVE UP ON YOU YET. Do you know how painful it was for me to say? ThankGod you regained your senses."

At her statement, I was silent and didn't know if I should be thankful or show remorse for my actions.

Kechi launched a pilow towards me.I dodged it only for a slipper to hit me seconds later.

" I wish I could just beat sense into your empty skull " Kechi continued.

*She said that Dani decided to belive her later but it was already late .

" He then required my assistance and I became a double agent. One for Daniel and the other pretended for Ade.

Anger boiled deep down and i wanted nothing but to swear for Kechi 's fifth generation. But no mater what evil she managed to chip into the story and twist it to her pattern , Dani still loved me. I was jealous still.

" He cared about you" She said and paused . She wiped away a tear that nearly escaped her eyelids.

" so. don't. you. dare call me. names . " her tone was dry with anger." Because the pain alone of knowing I can't be his woman. is far greater than this"

She grabbed her bags and started packing.





" Wait ,-- Kechi wait " Fejiro called her attention " Just stop okay. "

"why? she said I should leave her apartment Please don't even try to stop me . Please"

" I know, but , what about the Ade of a guy.. What happend to him afterwards ?


" Oh that one. " Kechi turned to me and continued " that fake officer . After Dani confronted him , He dug up Ade's case and discovered he was a part of Chief Okafor's hired thugs who took care of things when need be"

At that statement, I froze . I wanted to hear more but my pride couldn't allow me speak. So Ade was a -*

Kechi read my mind when she said. " You see pride goes before a fall. And slavery to lust is always backstabbing. You enjoyed an affair with someone that was picked out of the slumps by Dani's father and trained in the NDA only to be court-martialed after two years "

I asked her why she kept all these from me. " Why hide these from me. You are wicked "

" Dani let you misbehave but you were too blind to see that a common boy-boy was struggling with his Oga's son for dominance. " she paused " But wait , lemme ask you . What did you even feel like when you were dating Ade. A star abi na celebrity? folowing one five star general shey? I pity your sorry life"

She hissed and continued with her packing.
I was already humiliated beyond limits. I snatched her bag and flung it outside the door. I grabbed her clothes too. But The guys held me back. Voices came and all of them was saying " Izzy stop this na. What is wrong with you? Please behave matured"

In the middle of it all, my phone rang inside my hand bag. it was somewhere in the room. I searched for it and after a second ring, I located the bag under a debris of books.


I checked the caller ID. and it was the same number that stalked me. I picked it and this time a male voice came through . His voice was way too familiar.

As breathe eluded me due to shock, hot tears raced down my cheeks and climaxed at my lips. After a few minutes the call ended.

I quickly dropped the phone and picked up my make up kit . Everyone looked at me as if I had gone mad. I dropped the kit . My arms grabbed the shattered pieces of mirror on the floor.
It pointy tip reflected in the afternoon sun light that penetrated the room.

'What are you--? , Izzy No -No ' Fejiro said as he tried to stop me.


He was too slow. My arms lunched forward and ended pathing ways with the glass. I retreated from the attack but my mission was accomplished.
The broken mirror slided perfectly into Kechi's left abdomen.



Continues tonight....

queenitee:
Creeza will not come and tell us what happened. Been cracking my brain to think of what would happen next and I don't know self

crack no further I'm here now...