₦airaland Forum

A husband was praying 1 night.. "My God, 4d past 1yr, I'v bn goin 2work everyday for 8hrs &all my wife does is sit @home, doin NOTIN! I wnt her 2knw dt makin money is hard. Culd U pls change our bodies, so dt she cn get a feelin of wat it takes 2be a man?"Den God grantd his wish.D nxt mornin, he woke up as a woman. So he (now she) 1. wakes up the children 2. Makes their beds 3. Gives them a bath and dresses them ready for school 4. Makes breakfast for d family 5. Fills d children's lunch boxes 6. Fills the laundry machine 7. Drives kids to school 8. Stopped at the bank on his way back 9. Drives to the supermarket for grocery shopping 10. Comes home, unpacks and stores shopping 13. Cooks lunch 14. Takes a 20mins nap 15. Gets clothes off the washer to the dryer 16. Vacuums, dusts, sweeps and washes the floor 17. Drives back to school to pick up kids 18. Empties kids bag packs, changes their uniforms and serves them lunch 19. Empties the dryer and do...es some ironing 20. Makes dinner for family 21. Takes a shower 22. Husband comes back from work after hanging out with friends. She kisses him, loosens his tie and helps him with his jacket. 23. Serves dinner, clears the table and kitchen 24. Fills the dishwasher 25. Helps kids with homework 26. Puts kids to bed, then she goes to bed.... 27. Gets up at 1am 2check on d kids 28. Rises @4am 2pray She's expected to: 29. Wash her own car or drive it 2d car wash 30. Ensure d kids are always looking neat and tidy. 31. No time 2 socialise or hang out with friends 32. Look her best, with hair, nails, makeup, etc in place. D nxt mornin he got up &wz back to his knees prayin..."My God,I dn't knw wot I wz thinkn. Pls resume our original bodies back.."Den God replied "My son,i'm afraid u hv 2wait 4 another 12-15months. U got pregnant last night.=))=)) I will hv 2restore things back after u hv put 2bed, nursed d baby &seen yr first menstruation=))=)) GOD bless all d Hard Workn women, mothers, ladies, sisters and girls!

BBM 298BF018

1. You wake up early morning but you cant send even a good morning message to your lover trust me you are just pretending there is no love between each other.

2. You are in the same country you can take a week without hearing the voice of the so called lover.. my dear there is no love between two of you.

3. Your lover sends you a message but you read without replying, instead of hurting his/her feeling be open and tell him/her that you dont love her/him anymore.

4. You organise to meet but every time you are saying you are busy.. why dont you tell him/her the truth that you dont love her/him.

5. When you meet you cant even give him/her a hug why do you pretend that you in love.

6. Your phone is always busy whenever your lover calls.. why dont you tell him/her the truth that you dont love her/him.

7. You cant spare time for your lover but you spare time for other people.. why dont you be open to him/her that you dont love her/him.

8. You've been dating for years without knowing if it's leading to marriage or not, tell him/her the truth and stop wasting someone's time

9. Feelings are so painful if you dont love that person.. stop playing with his/her feelings.. be open and say you dont love her/him.

10. Your lover's heart is not a doll to be played with.. be open and tell him/her that you dont love him/her anymore

BBM 298BF018

1. He or she might have erased your texts and contacts but he or she will never forget what you wrote.

2. He or she might have un-friended you but he or she will never forget your pictures.

3. He or she might have stopped talking to you but he or she will never forget your voice.

4. He or she might have replaced you, but he or she might never forget every moment you spent together.

5. He or she might have ignored you but he or she will never forget your face.

6. He or she might have stopped hugging you but he or she' will never forget your smell.

7. He or she might not be a part of your life anymore but he or she will never forget you and erase the memories...........

BBM 298BF018

You are welcome

IDGAF:
Ya bro,already seen that on your profile.........Its all gud hombre!

In today's world it's very hard to find someone who has real love and ready for a serious relationship. Very many people get into relationships with far different intentions not love.

So, fellas, if you have a lady who loves while you have nothing, who prays for you well being, who sacrifices the little she has for you and for the good of the relationship, who tolerates all your bullshit, who never gets tired of forgiving you for your wrongs, please be real to her, care and love her and when you succeed in your plans don't forget her, keep her and wife her.

Then ladies, if you got a man who is proud of you, who makes you happy in any way he can afford, who cares about you and makes you feel loved, who has future plans with you, who is so committed to the relationship, who always forgives you and who doesn’t want to lose you in anyway, please love him genuinely and be there for him. Work together as couple and never take each other for granted because you have got someone that many other people don’t have or will never have. You might not know your lovers worth until you loose him or her!

BBM 298BF018

Your comment is very funny:

Your quote » “ProphetUdeme: falling in love is evil and devilish. It could ruin you of your future and eventually lack of love to your eventual God ordained husband. Young guys pls stay away from dating. Its satanic”

ProphetUdeme:
whats funny eh?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

ProphetUdeme:
falling in love is evil and devilish. It could ruin you of your future and eventually lack of love to your eventual God ordained husband. Young guys pls stay away from dating. Its satanic

Girlfriend: Hello honey

Boyfriend : Hi baby

Girlfriend: I want to tell you something

Boyfriend: ummmm ok, go on

Girl: Plz promise me you won't be mad?

Boyfriend: I am a little bit nervous

He then asked... “Are you telling me or not? With high temper

Girlfriend: (started to cry) I, I,I,
I, I think , I think, I think am pregnant

Boyfriend:WhaAaaaaaat? How? How? How? (with a high temper)

Girl: Yes i missed my periods I am pregnant

Boyfriend: You gotta be kidding right?

Girlfriend: Oh baby how could i joke with such thing?

(The boy dropped the phone & the Girl cried a lot thinking she lost him for good, she even thought of committing a suicide, after 30 minutes she then hears a knock at the door when she opens up boooooooom it was her boyfriend, kneeling on the door)

Boyfriend: 200 billion stars, 7continents ,196 countries, 9planets, 9 Provinces, 3 Capital cities and I had the privilege to meet such a sophisticated, intelligent, motivated, inspirational loving woman like you... Sweetheart let me correct you; you are not pregnant... We are pregnant, we both are responsible for the baby.. The love of my life will you marry me

Does these kind of guys still exist?

BBM 298BF018

No am not in lag

IDGAF:
Hey bro,glad 2 finally hear of som1 in 9ja who is a pentester,actually learning on my own with kali linux,but wud appreciate meeting some1 with experience lyk u.Are u in Lag? Hpe so

Yes love exist

coolzeal:
You pretty much said everything but, does Love does even exist?

Hahahahahahahahahaha..... Yes, you might be right

sameer1212:
LOL... Really? I think ladies will need it more.

It’s really scary when you get attached to someone. You start spending time with them, you get to know them, you like them, they make you happy, you get to know all the small details about them like their favorite colour, food, movie, song and many others

You discover their flaws and talents, you learn more and more about them, you then develop feelings for them, you trust them, you commit your delicate heart to them and you fall in love with them

Then one day you wake up and they are done with you with no sensible reason(s).

They break all the promises they made to you, they become so hard on you, and they develop a bad attitude towards you.

The one who they could call sweetheart, baby, honey, sweet love, my love, sugar and many other sweet names you become a bitch, mugu, douchebag, LovePeddler, prostitute, dog and many other ugly names.

It really hurts a lot. But anyway, that’s life and the people we live with and trust. You will never know what they think and plan for you, what’s in their hearts, what they are up to with you, when they will quit and hate you and whether they are serious with you or not.

So, always be careful with your hearts, love, trust and the people you give them to.....

BBM 298BF018

Sorry I can't answer that in a public forum

agarawu23:
nice one
bros are you single ?

To keep in touch outside of nairaland

sameer1212:
Ok. But wetin u want make us do with your BBM pin?

1. Dating a graduate doesn't always mean they are industrious

2. Dating a church girl / boy doesn't always mean he or she is holy and morally decent

3. Dating a beautiful girl or handsome guy doesn't always mean he or she has a beautiful character

4. Dating a corporate guy or girl doesn't always mean he or she is organised

5. Dating a sexy lady or sexy guy doesn't always mean he or she is a sex freak

6. Dating a wealthy man or wealthy woman doesn't always mean he or she will give you all you ask for always

7. Dating a poor boy or poor girl doesn't always mean he or she can't give you true love

What is my point here? If you don't date for the right reasons, you may actually end up getting married for the wrong reasons to the wrong person with the wrong life. Be careful.......

BBM 298BF018

Don't marry for sex

Don't marry because you are of age

Don't marry because you are getting old

Don't marry because you are lonely

Don't marry because you need someone to support you financially

Don't marry because you mistakenly got pregnant

Don't marry because you don't want to lose that person

Don't marry because of family pressures

Don't marry because you like the idea of marriage and admire every wedding gown you see

Don't marry because all your friends are getting married

But get married because you are in love

Get married because he or she is your best friend and when that love is no more, he or she can still make you smile...

BBM 298BF018

How is it silly braincrash?

BRAINCRASH:
LAFFING @ sOME STUPID STORIES...

SHOCKING CONFESSION: I CAUGHT MY WIFE FUCKING HER DAD - Final Part (18+)

Continued... "How dare you talk to me like that?" she said.

"What kind of husband are you to treat your wife as a prostitute?"

I felt the blood rush to my face. I was able to feel the heat of anger and frustration. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Let me tell you what kind of a husband I am.

I am the most loving, caring, understanding husband that a woman can ever want !!

Which other husband will allow his wife to be bleeped by her own dad?"

I never wanted to say those words. There was silence in the room.

She was looking straight into my eyes, with her eyes wide open. She didn't say a word.

"If still you think that you are not hiding anything from me then I want you to leave this house now!"

I could see the tears in her eyes. She was absolutely speechless and in shock.

I couldn't help hugging her at which point she started sobbing uncontrollably and crying like a baby.

She didn't say a word until midnight. Then she came to me and said: "How did you find out?"

"I saw you with him in the laundry room" She started sobbing again.

"It's OK honey, as long as you admit it, I will be forgiving, I promise"

"I'm so sorry baby, I feel so ashamed of myself" she said

"Honey, there's no need to feel ashamed" I said

"Do you want a divorce?" I said

"Of course not!" She said

"I will tell you all about it and don't care anymore if you will hate me or what" she said

"Please do" I said

"It started when I was 22 when I lost my mom, I had a crush on my dad since I was a kid and I knew that he will be missing her a lot, specially sexually.

I used to hear their lovemaking most of the time from my bedroom and I would masturbate at the same time.

One day my dad was very depressed and after diner I saw him crying silently. I went to him and hugged him.

We hugged each other and cried together. I asked if there is any way that I can help.

He said he just misses mom in many ways...

That night I went to his room and told him if it's OK to sleep in the same bed since he is feeling so depressed.

He said no, it will make it even worse! I went back to my room but after thinking about it, went back, removed my nightgown beside the bed and entered under the blankets and hugged him.

I told him to close his eyes and think about mom.... after some hesitation, he started kissing me and his kisses went to other parts of my body...

I was extremely wet and he did a very good job of satisfying my feelings as well.

After that I had him lie down on the bed, kissed his dick and rubbed it until he came.

This became a regular habit for us and we lived as husband and wife until you came into my life.

He thought me oral and anal sex. He was considerate enough not to take my virginity and until now he respects you, as my husband, and only does it from the back" she said

"You mean he has never bleeped your pussy?" I said

"Never!" She said

"Do you want him to?" She said

"I asked him many times after I was married but he insists that it belongs to my husband" she said

She was on her knees begging and crying uncontrollably. I felt pity for her

"Honey, thank you for telling me the truth. I really appreciate your honesty now. I have forgiven you because I love you. I hope we didn't have to go into all this trouble to find out..." I said

"Thank you baby, I love you too" she said

"I love you more honey, next time you meet your daddy, make sure he doesn't Bleep you, tell him to apologise to me so that I can also forgive him...."

After that we had a wonderful relationship.

She told her dad that I knew about them and that I have forgiven her but he should come and apologise to me which he eventually did.

I forgave him and ever since then he has stopped fucking my wife (his daughter) in the anus

He later found another woman and got married.

I plan of fucking his wife (an eye for an eye), what do you think?

Hahahahahahahahahaha..........

Basildvalour:
Where dem girls oya come and see what OP say you do o...

Really?

tinuolababy:
1) be yourself 2) be yourself 3) I said be yourself 4) always remember points 1-3 5) ignore all op said

*Lady, you check his pics
*He drives the latest Range Rover Sport
*You send him a Friend Request
*He confirms
*He inboxes you
*You reply, all excited... smile emoticon heart emoticon
*You will want to hook up
*You set a date
*You dress up that leggings with no underwear
*You put on make up, fresh breath and new hairstyle
*You smell good
*He takes you for drinks
*He rubs your hand
*Makes u laugh
*Gives u looks and smiles
*U fall in love
*it's like u've known him forever
*He takes u out to his apartment
*He makes you feel comfy and lays u on his bed
*He rubs it gently
*Kissing u passionately
*Pulls your stockings (nowdays called-leggings)--oops
*They're too tight but manages to take them off
*You love his aggression, strength, power and u give in
*It feels good wink emoticon
*You know it's wrong Bt u give in
*You ask for condom, he says it's too late
*You obey and don't disturb
*He says he loves u
*You say...Aaaaaaaaaaaw I love u too
*He bleeped u
*He pulls out
*He goes to the kitchen to get a glass of water
*He helps u drink it, ooh man
*You feel special
*He must be the one,"You think to yourself."
*You"ll get dressed
*He takes you to the taxi rank
*He kisses you on the cheek and you say "I had a great time"
*Gives you 500 note
*You smile and say see u tomorrow babe..
*He stays silent
*Your taxi drives away
*In the taxi you can't stop smiling and thinking of him
*You get home and inbox him you got home safe
*He is online, Bt doesn't reply
*It's unlike him, so u still inbox
*He still doesn't reply
*It's unlike him
*Minutes later HE BLOCKS YOU
*Days, weeks, months passes by
*You Start feeling sick, weak, loose weight, look strange with
sores in ua mouth
*U go to the clinic
*Get tested
*Minutes later nurse walks in"I'm sorry u are HIV positive &
pregnant"HOW
*You don't understand
*Then it hits you
*You walk home
*Scared
*Confused
*You go to the train railway
*You lay hopeless, emotionless on the rail
*You see the train coming nearer
*You look into the sky and mumble a prayer
That's the end of you.
Dont be that girl!! live life
stop chasing materials
Be a girl you want your daughter to be.
Be responsible.
Be a superwoman and choose your life carefully...

True or false?

BBM: 298BF018

OMG, you call this crap? You must be blind then. You should go for eyes surgery. I will pay for it.

Mprex:
I expected to see something actually mind blowing not this crap

I really wonder if some people are just blind or the too much love they have for the person they claim to be in a relationship with makes them blind!

Honestly, why being stuck on someone who clearly shows that they no longer love you?

Why counting on someone who no longer counts on you?

Why being in love with someone who cheats on you intentionally?

Why plan your future with someone who doesn’t plan theirs with you?

Why being in a relationship with someone who doesn't appreciate your love and care at all?

Why being in a relationship with someone who abuses your trust, forgiveness and faithfulness?

Why being with someone who doesn't see any value in you?

Why being in a relationship with someone you already know that s/he is in a relationship or married to someone else?

Why being in a relationship with someone who only loves you when it’s convenient for them?

Seriously, why being in a relationship with someone, considering them as a priority yet they take you as their option?

Is it because of your bad past experience in relationships, is it because you are so desperate for getting married, is it because you fear to be lonely, is it because you are so ugly or some of your senses are no longer functioning?

Come on, you need to start thinking out of the box.

You need to stop letting people in your life to play around with your heart, feelings, body, and to waste your time.

You need to be happy not to cry over someone who doesn’t love you.

You need to settle down not to keep on jumping in to new relationships every month or every year.

You need to use your money to do developmental things not to waste it on someone who is not serious with you.

You need to stop letting people play the same games with you.

You need to pray to God to change your life and to help you have a stable & happy relationship in this coming New Year

BBM: 298BF018

.

adepentane1:
Why don't vyou just install Backbox Linux, (Both Ubuntu 14 and Kali linux tools available for your use)

Also, always visit Google. Instead of using Kali Linux on a dual boo, you can use a vmWear for it. So that it will be easy switching back wnd forth, but it involves a long configuration process. Always visit google and Youtube.

Hello penetration testers / hackers, how do you penetrate / hack a website that is not sql vulnerable and xss vulnerable? Your answers are highly appreciated. Thank you in advance. Happy penetrating!

Part 3 coming soon on this thread....

mopelola123:
Nawa ooo. No matter how you hate or love ur wife you won't keep what you have seen from her. A real man will confront the woman........Some men can not stand seeing any man with their woman without question the woman. Anyway let read the rest and see how you handle it......but OP you are something else ooooo.

SHOCKING CONFESSION: I CAUGHT MY WIFE FUCKING HER DAD (18+) Part 2

Continued... My own wife, my wife who didn't want to have sex openly and share her experiences is doing it with her own father! A 50 year old man!

I was feeling a mixture of jealousy, anger, hatred and betrayal.

After watching them for a while and hearing my wife's moans of pleasure, I was sure that he was not forcing her in any way.

Slowly I stepped back and without making any noise, stepped up and out of the house.

On my way out I heard the orgasmic cries of my wife, the ones that I am familiar with...

I started driving around the city trying to sort things-out.

I never imagined my wife cheating on me, not to mention with her own dad!

But after about an hour driving and thinking about it, my feelings changed and instead of the initial hatred and betrayal, I actually started to get aroused by the idea.

Somehow, the idea of incest became exciting for me.

I felt that things are gonna be better than before.

This might be the way to a better and happier married life for us, since we would be sharing a sexual experience and be open about it from now on....I was wrong.

When I got back, I saw the garage empty, obviously she was alone in the house.

I entered the house and called her. She came running and greeted me with surprise. "what's the occasion of having you home so early?" she said.

I told her the reason and then jokingly mentioned that I feel excess power that need to be released...

To my surprise, she took me by the hand and led me to our bedroom and started to UnCloth in a strip-tease like way.

I was not really expecting anything like this knowing that she was already satisfied...but what the heck, we were in bed and she was hotter than before.

I bleeped her 3 times that day and she was surprised of my sudden energy burst.

"What's gotten into you today? Are you taking any drugs to boost your sexual powers?" she said.

"No, I was just fantasising of seeing you with another man, that's all"

"Oh, not again...when are you going to stop thinking that? It will never happen."

Well, days passed and everytime I remembered the laundry room scene, my dick would jump!

I wanted to create the right time and occasion so that she will tell me about it on her own.

On many occasions I mentioned to her that it will be perfectly OK for me if she liked to do it with any man of her choice.

She has my full permission and I would not be jealous.

I would even be happier and more excited than ever.

I asked her if she had anybody in mind. Created some romantic atmospheres, etc. etc. etc. and couldn't get anything out of her mouth.

Her silence and denial was frustrating me. I started leaving work and coming home to check on her to see if she had other visitors as well. Since she didn't confess about her dad, there might be others...

I was starting to loose my trust in her.

On one occasion I saw her dad's car again... and waited in the corner of the street until he left.

That night she was hot again. I tried to Bleep her ass but she said maybe another day, "today my pussy needs you".

Afterwards, I confronted her and told her if we are going to change this relationship at all.

She said "no!, there's nothing to change"

"Honey, I really love you. I also know a secret that you are hiding from me..."

"What? I have nothing to hide from you, you are my husband and I want you not to hide anything from me either"

"I love you, you know I do?"

"I love you too, honey"

"I want you to confess now. I want you to tell me, in your own words, all about other men you have been with.

I promise I will not be angry..."

I wasn't finished my sentence yet, when I felt a burning slap on my face.

If you want me to finish it, comment CONTINUE, Like & Share

BBM: 298BF018

Thanks Juliet, most guys & girls on nairaland are not matured. They are just some bunch of kiddies & illiterates that have access to the internet. Only very few of them are matured and u can see their maturity through their comments & threads. I am totally disappointed by the comments I am reading on this thread.

happyjuliet:
Na wa oooooooo must u Guys insult each other can't u guys talk without throwing abusive words huh! I never see dis can of forum b4, all dey do is 2 talk rubbish.

I didn't smoke nor drink

sweetorgasm:
@op hw many parcels of weeds did u smoke?

sweetjenny, nobody forced you to click on the thread

sweetjenny305:
Wasting of mb

God punish your father for not training you well. You lack good manners and home training

eskober:
Op God punish you

About my story

wtfCode:
about what?