₦airaland Forum

234 girls are missing and 234
is Nigeria's country code...is
there sum coincidenceI
have been pondering over this
kidnap situation and
something dont add up hence
these questions. The students
are said to be SSS3 student
writing physics examination.
QUESTIONS: 1. Why are their
names not yet published by the
school, state government and
WAEC? 2.Why are their pictures
not over the news media? 3.
How come all 234 students are
in SSS3 and all came to write
physics examination when the
total number of students in the
whole school are around
1200? 4. It was announced
that the Borno states govt gave
N1m each to parents of the
missing girls. If thats true.
QUESTIONS: 1.Why was this
money given to these parents,
was it as compensation for the
kidnaps or compensation for
their deaths? 2. On Tuesday
29th April 2014, the senator
from Borno said in the senate
that the girls had been taken
out of the country to Chad,
Niger and Cameroon and
married off to their adoptors.
QUESTIONS: How come these
senators know so much, who
are their informants? Why is
the wife of the state governor
organising women to pressure
FG in Abuja after the National
Security Council has ordered
the armed forces to use all
state resources to secure the
release of the adopted Girls. I
just wonder how 200+ girls
can be kidnapped at once. How
come we havent seen those
girls who they said have
escaped on tv? If the Ss3
student aren't up to 120 in a
school of 1200, how is it
possible 234 girls are missing?
Where are the school
authorities? We haven't seen
any of them on tv. WHO IS
FOOLING WHO? I need objective
answers pls, its time all
Nigerians start asking
questions than drawing to
conclusions.
#BringBackOurGirlz#

New Word added to the Oxford Dictionary
Suarez
/sυαяez/
NOUN: A man who bites other football players
ADJ: describes a man who bites other men(Blood Sucking
man)
VERB: the act of biting ur fellow man
Examples
(1) Suarez that meat now!!!
(3) Don't suarez your sister
(4) Ivanovic and Chiellini has been suarezed
(5) The farmer died from a snake suarez
(6) Please don't go about suarezing your friends becaused
being suarezed isn't good.
NB:The federal Ministry of health warns that opponents of
suarez are likely to get suarezed.Be warned,stay away from
Suarez......

Am so disturbed about this hostel matter,i heard the Hostel won't be out for lease until 2months after resumption...someone advised me to sleep in classroom.what can i do now?

male

I’m crying.
I just want to know why? All I want is a reason. A reason for why you did what you did. A reason for why you chose me. A reason for why you decided to come into my life and break me. A reason for how you left me. Damaged. Broken. Depressed. Regretful.
I just want to know why you did it. I want to understand what you did to me. Why I still love you so much. Why you allowed me create a place in my heart for you and you left me void and struggling for balance. Why you left me empty and alone. Why my tears are never enough. Why I can’t seem to cry you out of my system. I want to know why you will always have a part of me devoted to you.
I want to hate you so bad. I want to wish you dead. I want to be angry at you. I want to hate you as much as I love you right now. But I just can’t. I want to know why. Why I still want happiness for you but at the same time I get jealous when I see you with any other girl. Every time my memory conjures you up, the pain I feel is INDESCRIBABLE. The hurt in my chest. The gaping hole you left when you decided to up and vanish. You dint even end it. You just left without a word. Woke up one day and you were gone.
You left me sorry. sorry for my unknown mistakes. Sorry for whatever I did or dint do to make you vanish…
I am not sure I want you back. I am not also sure I want you gone totally. I am not sure of anything anymore. I am not sure of myself and what I am supposed to do now. I planned a life around you and you left and left me with nothing. I had to retract into my shell. Into the void of my soul. Into the large hole you left. I don’t know what I am writing now. Neither do I know if you will read it. All I know is it’s out there…
People say writing helps you to heal. But this is doing nothing for me. The hurt is still there. I am not sure it would ever be fully gone. Or maybe it would. I don’t know. All I know is this feels right. Or I think it does. I am just tired of crying. Trying to empty my soul. Trying to purge you away from me. I want you out of my system. Please.
Why did you have to come into my life and pretend.? Of all the people out there why chose me to damage. You have reduced me to a shadow of myself. Hurt like this unfelt. Wall built around to shield myself. Facades created to protect. I now know how to smile with my face alone. You left me numb. Wishing for more. Wishing for you. I am not sure i would feel again. Without real emotions. I want to feel again so bad. I want to know what it feels like. How it feels to be happy. To be at peace. I’m in turmoil. My soul at war with unseen things. I don’t know what I want.
I guess I just want to know why. And I don’t think an explanation would make me feel better. Maybe I would hate you then. Or stop loving you. You turned me into mush. Unfeeling mush. What I never used to me. Everything speaks to me now. Movies. Songs. I really want to feel again. To be once more. What have you done to me.? What did you do. Please come and end it. Take it away. Tears flowing but they never finish. I am sweating but I don’t want to stop. I can’t stop.
I just want to be normal again. I want to be free. Free from your captivity, From everything you stand for. I want this to stop. PLEASE, Save me from myself. From you. I know I have healed. I am not the same way I was initially. But then I have stopped healing… Doubting if I would ever be fully cured of you. Of the “YOU” virus. I want to heal some more. Get better but I can’t. I want to move past. I just can’t. I need help, I never used to be like this. What did you do.?
I need to be fixed.
Fix me back.

Well mine is DAGRIN-IF i DIE...i cry no be small o

I'm here to make friendz with freshers...i was admitted for COMPUTER ENGINEERING...would love to meet people from my department cheers

oluakadinma: HND and B.Eng are not thesame and can never be.

The work of a B.eng can never be assigned to technologist even in US. Your comparison is liken to a brick layer who suddenly turn to contractor and can build a confortable four-storey building but that does not make him a civil engineer. Yes he does the work of a civil engineer but he has a limitations: he can't even think sky crapper! That's just the difference. They may be eQuivalent but not equal.
One has limit but the other is unlimited.

I Hope a cleared your doubts?

Its not cleared yet...most of the working skills a bricklayer acquire the civil engineer can't try that.he can only dish out instructions and get contract but needs the help of the skilled apprentice(Bricklayer,carpenter etc) to carry out the work

part 3
Food na for belle and belle na for food. If you
no believe me go ask Mr. Paul wey fast for
only one day,one day o, naim he begin hear e
name. He begin tell people say dem dey call
am. Who dey call am ,we no know. Na when
he finish one plate of correct rice wey dem
use salad and dodo take decorate, naim he
no hear him name again.
As I eat mama Sikira Amala finish, naim my
own eyes clear well-well. Although nobody
dey call my name like Mr. Paul so make una
no laugh. So I pick my phone to take call this
rat before I reach my house. I no kuku know
wetin dem don do again. But I go Iet dem
know who be the real owner of the house, but
I go dey careful sha make I no enter their
trap. Rat wey eat your certificate, your
certificate wey you spend years with many ASUU strike
take collect, fit do anything. As una use una
eyes take see and una go still see.
Before I think finish naim my phone ring.
“Hello”
Mr. Oghene, my secretary tell me say you call
me, you no dey fear? Your Papa left yansh dia, So you get liver to call
me and you expect me to pick your yeye call?
You no dey fear?
-Hello, Mr. Rat, fear what? Are you God?
You are not even a human and I should be
afraid of you?
Now listen to me, I will give you two options
and you must choose one. It is either I kill
you and your stupid gang with rat poison or I
come into my house with rodent fumigator
and fume all of you out of the whole of
Sekina. Choose one and call me back!
Na so I use the style of the bus man answer
am come drop the phone! Before I get the
chance to laugh,naim the phone
ring again.
Him voice be like tataafo own for phone.
“Mr Oghene I know say you be warri boy, me
sef I be warri rat. How you think say I take be
the Co-ordinator of things for this area? We
nor dey come last, you sef know that one.
And incase you dey wonder how I take reach
here, na inside that your mumu bag wey you
call suitcase naim I dey for Warri before you
separate me from my papa and mama.As I
come reach Lagos naim I see all this Lagos
rat wey just big for nothing dey do like Osuo.
E nor reach ten days before I become oga for
here.As a street rat wey don survive crude oil
wahala for our hole for Warri,Lagos na small
thing as even you can see.
I confuse.
-Ha?
Why you dey shout? You never hear anything
you dey shout. So na me you dey use rat
poison to threaten, a whole me. No be today
we don dey eat rat poison na,dem no tell you?
E don tey. Make I tell you wetin you no know,
I go cool down eat your food, still cool down
eat your rat poison and nothing go happen.
Your head no correct!
And for that fumigator, bring am come, we
go help you do am. Na there you go know say
Boko Haram wahala for North na small
thing. We no need to do national conference
before we take action. Before you go fumigate
your house, we go don use our shit take
design Nigeria map for your wardrobe. Come
use our mess take fumigate your room for
you.
-Ye!
-Ye ke, you no know say rat dey mess? Mr
Oghenekaro, this is fire for fire! You better
come back to this house with food for the
boys unless we go kidnap your house.
-Kidnap my house?
You never hear am before? Okay If you never
hear am, na we wan start am. Nonsense!
Na so phone drop.
My people na shout I fit dey shout, as e dey
talk because I tire. If Warri rat tell you say he
go eat your poison and nothing go happen to
am, help you fumigate your house come
kidnap your house, you better believe am. But
my people make una advise me.

If you dey
my shoes, wetin you go do?

Comment if you want the Part 3 of RAT. PALAVA

Part three loading in a while...

Part two
As if wetin I hear for phone
neva do, wetin I hear for
inside the bus wey carry me
reach the bustop wey near my house, no be
wetin my mouth fit talk finish. But I go try
talk am, after all, person wey electric shock
still get mouth take shout. Make una help me
ask Papa Blessing wetin e see wey a whole
man like am go dey cry “milk, milk”, like
small pikin when electric show am pepper.My
people no be small thing.
As I comot for church dey waka go bustop, I
dey think wetin I go do for this Mr. Rat wey
call me from my own house. My own house o,
on top my table for inside my bedroom! Chai
wetin man pikin no go see for this end time
wey we dey so.
As I dey think dey go, naim I hear conductor
dey shout under hot sun, “Sekina, Sekina, 70
naira. Sekina straight, enter with your change
ooo”. Why dem dey shout like this sef? I just
dey wonder.
“If you no get change no enter o. Ma wole ti o
ba ni change o”. Na so I jump inside the bus
o. I kuku look for one corner inside the bus
sufri dey think about my life and wetin I go
do to this rat wey dey threaten me from my
own house! Oyinbo go say can you imagine.
My people make una help me imagine o,
ehmn.
Before the bus reach bustop e don full na so
we face Sekina. For my mind I dey fear
because how I wan take face rat wey get the
LIVER to call me.To tell me say him don eat
my certificate, my original certificate wey I
sweat to get from Abraka- As I dey think
about the matter inside the bus, naim the
china phone of the man wey sidon for my
side begin ring.Na so passengers begin hiss.
As everybody take hiss because of the
ringtone, naim everybody inside the bus take
laugh from wetin them use their ear take hear
from the man as he dey follow the person for
phone talk. You know say for inside bus,
person no kuku get secret. Anything wey you
dey talk naim everybody go dey hear. Na so
everybody chook ear-
With cool temper, “Hello, yes this is Mr.
Ogbonna”.
-Ali, wetin good about the afternoon? Ehn I
say wetin good? You better keep your stupid
compliments to yourself.You dis thief.
We for inside the bus no dey kuku hear wetin
the person wey dey call am dey talk and wetin
he do. But wetin him talk next give us idea
say the person dey owe am money. By this
time the man don dey vibrate with him
Igbostic accent for the phone like say na the
phone be the person wey dey owe am money.
-Before you frustrate me, I will frustrate you
if you dont give me my money.Infact listen to
me carefully, I will give you two options. Just
two options and you must choose one. It is
either I take your name to a native doctor
and kill you! Or I arrest you with the C.I.D
and you will die in prison. Choose one and
call me back!!! Na so he drop him phone with
vex.
By this time driver don stop for roadside
begin dey laugh like Jackee. Everybody begin
to shake with laugh some of us just kuku dey
roll for ground, while the conductor wey we
think say he no hear don jump down begin
dey laugh dey go. Till today we no see am
again.
Me wey dey think of my own rat palava don
see another man palava come forget say I get
problem for ground. But Eureka!!! As we dey
laugh go naim the thing nak me for my mind.
Shebi na human being threaten another
human being with babalawo. Me sef I go
threaten Mr. Rat with rat poison, afterall the
people wey dey sell am be like baba lawo too
no difference. This rat think say e get sense
abi? Me I go show am say even though I dey
work for Lagos, na for Warri dem born me. A
whole me- Oghenekaro Tega Nowamagbe,
aka Ikotomo naim rat dey threaten, e nor dey
fear? Forget say I dey carry bible o,me sef I be
ninja turtle!
Na so my confidence take rise o. But my
people, rat pass rat.
Na so I come down from the bus waka enter
Mama Sikirat shop where she dey sell
Amala.I bring my phone out from my pocket
and with courage naim I look for the number
wey Mr. Rat take call me.Na so he pick.
I just form masquerade voice take call am.
“Hello, Mr Rat”.
-This no be Mr. Rat o, this naim secretary,
infact this is a wrong number.”
Eh!!! See swagger when the phone fall comot
for my hand I nor know. Rat wey get
secretary? Which type of work he dey do!!!
My people, me wey dey form courage before
when I hear say rat get secretary, come dey
tell me join say I dey call the wrong number, I
just weak. Make I first nak correct amala
whether I go get power to call again. If I eat
finish I go nak una the rest tori. I dey come.
¤¤Watch out for Part 3 ¤¤:p

For my house we dey chop
well-well,we dey chop. God
don butter my bread, come
sugar our tea.He don bless us so much with food sotey all the domestic and international
animals wey dey our house dey form "Ajebor".
Make you for take know say I nor dey lie, the
rats wey dey our compound dey flex, dem be
like bull dog. Our dogs? Dem be like Lion.Our
chicken dem nko? Dem be like Kangaroo! All
the food wey we eat remain naim dem dey
eat. We sef be like puff-puff, our body dey
shine, e dey shine pass 60 watts light bulb. If
you never still believe me, come visit me for
my house for Sekina street. Yes, things don
dey better for our area now. Government don
put Kolotar for our road, come cover our
gutters well-well. No more mosquitoes, but
the one wey manage show, for him small
mind na London e dey.
Water no be problem for our area again after
wetin happen to papa Blessing. If you wan
know wetin happen to papa Blessing, you go
meet with our tori keeper for nairaland
here. Na for there you go see how man use
water take wicked him fellow man, and how
water take show man say wetin Fela talk no
be lie,say true-true, water nor get enemy.
As things take change sharperly for our
korokoro eyes for Sekina street with surprise,
na im the thing wey happen, wey I wan talk
so, take shock me. If to say na another person
e happen to,I for no agree with wetin I hear.
But my people, the thing happen to me. I dey
shake my head as I dey write so even sef my
hand dey follow shake too. Oyinbo go say
tremble. My people as ASUU dey strike- we
nor kuku know who strike pass between dem
and thunder,and PDP dey get new branch
wey nor gree, plus Boko Haram wey no gree
for our soldier people, na so the rats wey dey
for our house too come dey para.
I been think say NCC don register all
numbers for our country so security tight
well-well. But na lie o, some people dey train
demselves to scatter good things. As the
country come nearly wan get k-leg, dey come
sack me for my work place.Na him I join the
new PDP declare fast for my house. One week
fast o, just one week, make God show me my
enemies dem.Na the enemy wey you know,
better pass the one wey you nor know o.
True-true my enemies dem show,dem show
well! Who say God nor dey answer prayer?
Papa God dey answer prayer well-well. But
this prayer wey He answer, na strong ting,e
pass my power.
Make I nor dey tempted to enter my
neighbour house go chop free food, naim I
comot go church go stay for seven days o. As
I dey prepare to break my fast on the last day,eye don dey turn me
make I for return to my house, na im I receive
this call from Mr. Rat, Co-ordinator of the
activities of rat in my room.Na so e introduce
himself o.
With him tiny voice, “hello”, Yes hello, who
am I speaking with?
Na Mr Oghene be dis abi?
"Yes you are speaking with Mr Oghene, who is
this please?"
"So you no recognize my voice abi? Na me
your room mate Mr. Rat, the co-ordinator of
all the rat runs for your room."
"Jesus! You say what?I rebuke you!"
"Wetin you dey
rebuke? Abegi, I dey on top your table now
for inside your bedroom."
-I beg your pardon? Which room?
"Which yeye beg you dey beg. And which yeye
English u dey follow me yarn? You never hala. See I
never chop for the past 7 days wey you waka
comot. You nor know say na your house be
our secretariat for Sekina street?How
secretariat no go get food? I check that place
wey you dey put food I no see anything. I
check the kitchen nothing. I even check your
fridge no single food there."
-You got into my fridge?
"keep quiet, I still dey talk.E be like say you no
like yourself.So you wan kill me and my guys
abi? Before you go kill us,we go don kill you
first.You see as man dem wicked? No
problem, my informants dem tell me say dem
don sack you for work naim make food nor
dey this house.But that one no be my
business. Anyway, I just wan let you know say
that your certificate wey dey inside your
wardrobe wey dem write DELTA STATE
UNIVERSITY I don eat the “DEL” comot.
Remaining “TA STATE UNIVERSITY". Make I see which work you go take”TA” State
University find. Rubbish!!!"
Hello,hello are you still there…
Na so Mr. Rat drop the phone o.
My brothers and sisters as una take shock,
naim me take shock. I just dey shake for here.
Una dey see wickedness? Where rat see
phone? When rat start to dey talk? But how I
go take shock reach again when things dey
happen everyday wey dey shock man
pikin.Na speed I take begin to run go
house.But wetin my eyes see as I reach house,
no be wetin my mouth fit talk.I go tell una
when my blood don come down.:p

https://www.nairaland.com/1573119/d-d-after-christmas-gobe ....check Dis thread out :p

Holumix: Oga try what this guy told you o, try to write story and sell it, keep it up o. . . Holumix. .

Would try ifai can make a carrier out of it....

Justosaus: Great stuff...guy u're good.

Tanku veli much

Dear Santa,
How are you doing? Hope you’re not too
stressed out from delivering gifts to almost
everyone’s doorstep (excluding mine).
I’m sure you’ve gotten a million and one
letters requesting for one Christmas gift or the
other. No! This isn’t one of those. I’m writing
this letter to ask for your hand in marriage.
Yes! Your hand in marriage. I’m sure you’re
surprised; I am too. But before I go on
professing my love for you, I’d like to ask a
few questions if you don’t mind (after all, I
should have enough information about who I
want to marry).
First of all, Nigerians call you ‘Father
Christmas’ so what’s your real name, surname
and other names? Did you go to any schools
and do you have degrees? How many are you
in your family and what number are you?
What State/Country are you from and where
do you currently reside? What are your
hobbies, best food, best colour, likes and
dislikes? Do you have any friends? If you do,
who are they? I really don’t want to know if
you’re married or not because I don’t mind
being number one or any other number.
People just collect gifts from you without
bothering to ask these: where do you get the
money to buy all these gifts? Or do you
manufacture them yourself? Do you deliver
these gifts by road, air, or water? Because you
deliver to all parts of the world.
I know it’s weird that I don’t know anything
about the person I want to marry. It’s not
totally my fault. I searched for you on Google
but I didn’t get answers to the above
questions. I’ve always heard and am still
hearing so many nice things about you (even
though I hear them only during Christmas).
They say you’re a cheerful giver; we’ll have a
symbiotic relationship “givers never lack. They
say you’re good with children; our children
wouldn’t grow up in a master-servant
environment. They also say your laughter
sounds like HOHOHOHOHO! That will keep
me falling in love with you over and over
again.
I know the man is supposed to propose to the
woman but hey! Our case is different; you’ll
never propose to me because you don’t know
me. I really don’t know how to express the
way I feel about you because I’ve never done
this before. When I was a little child, I used to
see you at parties. While other children were
scared of you, I wasn’t; I had a crush on you.
But now, when I crash a kiddies party (just to
see you), I just feel like taking you home to be
mine.
Will you marry me?
Oh! Wait a minute! I told you nothing about
myself. Well, your response to this will
determine if it’s necessary that I tell you about
me or not. I’ll stop here for now. I don’t even
know how to get this across to you. But I
know you’ll get it somehow since people’s
wishes get to you. Before I forget, I slipped a
ring into this envelope. I know it should have
come as a surprise but I don’t want the floor
to have a feel of it before you.
Thanks for reading.

Yours truly,
Morenike

Dear Santa,
How are you doing? Hope you’re not too
stressed out from delivering gifts to almost
everyone’s doorstep (excluding mine).
I’m sure you’ve gotten a million and one
letters requesting for one Christmas gift or the
other. No! This isn’t one of those. I’m writing
this letter to ask for your hand in marriage.
Yes! Your hand in marriage. I’m sure you’re
surprised; I am too. But before I go on
professing my love for you, I’d like to ask a
few questions if you don’t mind (after all, I
should have enough information about who I
want to marry).
First of all, Nigerians call you ‘Father
Christmas’ so what’s your real name, surname
and other names? Did you go to any schools
and do you have degrees? How many are you
in your family and what number are you?
What State/Country are you from and where
do you currently reside? What are your
hobbies, best food, best colour, likes and
dislikes? Do you have any friends? If you do,
who are they? I really don’t want to know if
you’re married or not because I don’t mind
being number one or any other number.
People just collect gifts from you without
bothering to ask these: where do you get the
money to buy all these gifts? Or do you
manufacture them yourself? Do you deliver
these gifts by road, air, or water? Because you
deliver to all parts of the world.
I know it’s weird that I don’t know anything
about the person I want to marry. It’s not
totally my fault. I searched for you on Google
but I didn’t get answers to the above
questions. I’ve always heard and am still
hearing so many nice things about you (even
though I hear them only during Christmas).
They say you’re a cheerful giver; we’ll have a
symbiotic relationship “givers never lack. They
say you’re good with children; our children
wouldn’t grow up in a master-servant
environment. They also say your laughter
sounds like HOHOHOHOHO! That will keep
me falling in love with you over and over
again.
I know the man is supposed to propose to the
woman but hey! Our case is different; you’ll
never propose to me because you don’t know
me. I really don’t know how to express the
way I feel about you because I’ve never done
this before. When I was a little child, I used to
see you at parties. While other children were
scared of you, I wasn’t; I had a crush on you.
But now, when I crash a kiddies party (just to
see you), I just feel like taking you home to be
mine.
Will you marry me?
Oh! Wait a minute! I told you nothing about
myself. Well, your response to this will
determine if it’s necessary that I tell you about
me or not. I’ll stop here for now. I don’t even
know how to get this across to you. But I
know you’ll get it somehow since people’s
wishes get to you. Before I forget, I slipped a
ring into this envelope. I know it should have
come as a surprise but I don’t want the floor
to have a feel of it before you.
Thanks for reading.

Yours truly,
Morenike

i want comctructive criticism on my stories abeg...no insults!

As I turn face madam, na plenty tings jus
enter my head, wetin I wan tell madam?
Which kain lie I go take lie wey my
punishment go reduce? As I don dey used to
this place, e no go too sweet to return go back
to the place wey my papa and mama dey
stay. I no talk say I no like my papa and
mama o, before una turn to dey curse me but
I don big pass the place wey dem dey stay
and no be mouth. A girl suppose aim for the
skies na, abi no be so? As madam wan open
mouth shout again na im I jus fall for ground
dey roll.
“Mary! What’s this? What’s happening?” The
kain fear wey enter my madam voice be wan
make me laff but dem no born me well to try
am.
“Jesus tank you, father tank you.” I stop to
dey roll come begin dey shake. Na dat
moment oga comot from baffroom. All this
time e bin dey listen to music for inside the
baffroom, so the man no kukuma hear all the
wahala wey bin dey go on.
“Holy crap! What’s this?!”
“Well, I came in and saw her naked. She was
actually bent waist down in front of…”
“Stop! Stop!! Is this…like a set-up or what?”
The fear wey dey my oga voice no be small
one.
“Baby, are you even listening to what I am
saying. Are you saying that you did not know
Mary was in the room? Is it a coincidence
that you were in the bathroom and she was
ready to leave the room?”
“What in heaven’s name are you talking
about? And why have you left her uncovered?
Gosh, baby, sometimes you need to take
things one step at a time.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means you should have ensured that she
was covered especially as you saw that I was
getting out of the shower and not leave all of
her shaking like that.”
“Really all of her, why pretend you haven’t
seen it all?”
“Thanks to you, now I have.”
As I see say the ting fit bring kata kata
between dem two, na im I sit up. As dem see
me, both of dem keep quiet, oga wey no tie
towel before quick quick grab one tie, madam
jus pull dia bed sheet take cover my body.
“What were you doing here, Mary?” Madam
use jeje voice ask me.
“Oga, madam no vex. Na help I bin dey help
una.”
“Help who? By sleeping with my husband?
Baby, I thought you said…”
“Na one prophet ma!” If I no interrupt
madam, e fit turn to something else. “The
prophet talk say if I no dance naked for every
room of the house wey I bin dey stay say the
person wey dey hold your belle make you no
born pickin go succeed.”
“Why would you believe such crap? Oh Mary,
you are so silly! Has it ever occurred to you or
your prophet that we might be into family
planning?”
Yes, e better make I dey silly. “But madam,
the man dream dey come to pass. E bin
dream one time say my papa work go finish
and the ting happen.”
“Well, hasn’t he had any good dreams like
you being crowned Miss Nigeria or winning
the ‘who wants to be a millionaire’ show?” My
oga fit use style style yab pesin.
“I no know sir, I no be God.”
“Didn’t you know oga was in the room or
didn’t you even hear him come into the
house?”
“Whenever I dey spirit I no dey hear anyting
around me and …”
“Well, needless to say Mary, you nearly
caused a catastrophe between my wife and I.
Next time…”
“Next time? Baby, seriously I don’t think
there will be a next time. I will not be
comfortable having her around here
anymore.”
“Come on! Where’s the carefree, forgiving
woman I married? I think Mary’s problem
stems from illiteracy; she should be a
challenge to you. Perhaps she needs to start
school. A literate mind wouldn’t easily be
conned by a fraudulent prophet and let’s not
forget that she thought she was doing us a
favor.”
Kai, my rep don suffer; shey na me be
illiterate? I fit vex now talk de whole truth, if
dem like make dem chase me comot but as I
think am more, e be like say e go better make
I go school sef, at least make I sabi speak
engrish small.
“Let’s talk about this later, after she is out of
our room and besides I don’t like your
defending her. Mary go to your room.” As she
see say I bin wan comot the bedsheet…”No,
don’t remove that. Just go! Make sure you
take it to the laundry later.”
“Oga tank you, madam tank you. God go
bless una, for my life I no go believe dat
prophet again. God tank…” Kai, e be like say
na next time wen dem don comot na im I go
come carry my wrapper wey dey inside
wardrobe be dat.
“Mary, just go!”
As I bin dey comot, na im I hear oga ask
madam, “So, how did you say she was bent…
I mean how did you find her again?” E be like
say my oga take style style get small craze,
how im go ask madam dat kain question?
Omo men e no concern me sha but na so I
bin take escape and na so I bin take start
school. Who talk say Warri girl dey carry last?
STORY CONTINUES AFTER NEW YEAR

It’s raunchy and in pidgin.
Beware…
*** ***
*** ***
*** ***
“I no go huzzle (till infinity) but I go bubble
(till infinity)…”
I pick d phone. Wizboyy na my man. I no go
change my ringing tone till I buy my own
jeep. Or till Showkey Baba release song again;
anyone wey sha happen first.
“Hello, omo how far na?” Na my guy Kajeta
been dey call.
“Guuuuy! Yawa don gas o!”
“Ahn ahn. Wetin happen?”
“Jolomi don get belle oh!”
“Jolo-wetin?”
“Jolomi! And she dey tell men say na you give
am d belle.”
“Give wetin? I never see im pant na! I never
kiss am sef. How I wan take pregnant am?”
Make I tell una true: I been don see her pant
sha. Smelling pant for dat matter. But I no
wan enter yawa abeg. Which kain wahala be
dis?
“Omo, d babe dey tell men for area say na you
give am sha. Make you know wetin you go do
o. Ehen.”
“No mind d babe joo. She dey find who go
buy baby food for am. Notin do u my guy.
Tank you.”
“Ok na.” I cut phone. Kajeta na my person
but you no fit trust anybody for Orile-Iganmu
for dis kain matter. Everybody dey find your
gist for here. Any Bleep up na for your head.
“Hello, Jolomi!”
“Hey Big Daddy! How are you doing?”
“Jolomi! Who be your Daddy? Betta go ask ya
Mama o. Na me you dey speak English for? If
I sound you from here ehn…” I jus dey para.
See dis babe o!
Ahn ahn…. Honey bunsh, why are you
angry?” Jolomi still dey follow me blow
grammar.
“Who be your… in fact, I no get your power
today. I just call you to warn you: no dey teh
people say na me give you belle o! I go wound
you for dis Iganmu o!”
“But dat day, you no wear condom na,”
“Oh you don learn pidgin sharp sharp abi?
Which day abeg?”
“Ifeanyi, we had sex on the twenty-six na!”
because d babe know me from small na im
make she dey try me abi?
“Dis one wey you dey call me Ifeanyi. My
name no be Ifeanyi again. My name na Crash
Cos. CRASH-COS!”
*******************************************
Actually sha, d name wey my mama give me
na Ifeanyi but I don stop to answer dat name
since. Na one Oyibo mam give me d name
when I small. Dat tori long sha. One day I fit
gist una. I sha no dey gree make anybody call
me Ifeanyi again. Unless my momsy or my
broda. Jolomi liver no dey finish.
Ah. Jolomi.
Jolomi na babe wey I don know tey tey. All
we grow for d same area. We even go d same
primary school sef. I suppose senior Jolomi
like two years sha but I no sure. E get when I
hear say she follow her aunty go stay for
Satellite Town. But around October last year,
she come back. I suspect say dat her aunty na
farmer because Jolomi come resemble person
wey dey chop fertilizer. D babe just full
ground. Her balcony and her BQ na grade
one! We don jam once or twice for area but
she no dey gree hear my yans. I don try tire
but she no dey gree.
Until 26th December; when we do our
Christmas carnival.
Dat day I don drink enough stout. I dey
dance like crase person. I come see d babe for
one corner. She sef dey dance. She sef don
high. I reach dia na so I begin grove d babe. I
grove am for dance floor sotey she sef KNOW
say person grove am. And na rough
dancingo. You know as we dey do for area
na. Na so she give me back come dey feel my
oil pipeline. She turn face me.
“Ifeanyi, where your house dey?” Omo, dat
day I no even send say she call me Ifeanyi.
“My house dey for the next street.” Jolomi
just draw me for hand dey carry me go my
own house.
Oh boy! Jolomi sabi d tin! D girl dey wine
waist die. Me sef I surprise o! No wonder she
dey do shakara. D babe kpekus carry
anointing! See waya! I nearly trowey on time
but I too smart for dat one. I form stoppage
sharply.
“Jolomi wait abeg, wait…” I gats get myself
for one or two minutes.
“Oooh,” she begin complain, “Ifeanyi, e mean
say you no get power?”
“Sharrap dia! Jolomi I wan ask you one
question.”
“What is it?” d idiot come dey eye me,
“You be ashawo?”
“Which kain stupid question be dat? You see
me for ashawo house before?”
“No na but see as you dey move. Na ashawo
movement be dat na.”
“Oh. How you take know as ashewo dey
move? Abi you sef don carry ashi before?” I
clear my throat. For my mind I first beg God
to forgive me before I lie:
“No na. Never. Tufia. I don pass dat level na.”
“Continue dis tin before I lose interest joo,” by
then, I don steady again. After like twenty
minutes, I finish. As I dey finish, my eye dey
clear…
And as my eye dey clear na im I realize say I
no even wear raincoat.
*******************************************
As a responsible somebody wey no sabi him
papa, I no wan do Jolomi and my pikin as
my Papa take do me. I make up my mind say
I go help d babe as my hand reach. Even
before she born.
“Hello,”
“Hey. Ifeanyi… How na?” Dis girl no dey gree
fear god.
“Atink I don tell you tire. My name no be
Ifeanyi. Make you dey call me Crash-Cos.”
“No be Ifeanyi be d name wey your mama
give you?”
“You be my mama?” She finally keep quiet. I
begin yan wetin I carry for mind.
“I say make I help you handle some tins as e
be say you carry my pikin for dat ya big belle.
E get anytin wey you need?”
“Hmmm…” She begin form tinkin. Shakara
no go kill Jolomi.
“I dey go do my ultrasand tomorrow,”
“Wetin be dat?” Jolomi and dis her yeye
grammar sef. No be like say she finish
primary six. She dey fail pass Danfo fan-belt.
Na too much film dey deceive am.
“Na just scanning to see weda my pikin dey
alright.”
“How much you need?”
“Like two-five sha.”
“I fit follow you come?”
“If you like.” If I like. Mssstchew.
Jolomi na small tif sha because e come be say
d scan cost one-five. She still collect d two-
five from me sha. She say d 1k na ‘pregnancy
allowance.’ Orile armed robber.
Na so we dey inside d hospital. Doctor rub
one kain tin on top Jolomi belle and den she
carry anoda tin put on top am. Picture come
dey show for one small screen.
“Oga na your pikin be dat o.” I squeeze eye
begin look like say I understand wetin dey
show for d screen. To god I no see anytin. D
doctor sef dey look screen, dey look d belle
come dey talk.
“Your baby is quite healthy.” I hear “healthy”
I happy small. Doctor continue to dey yan.
“From what I can see here, your baby is about
four months old and doing well,” my blood
just cold
“Doctor, say wetin? You sure?”
“Very sure. Maybe even five months but
definitely at least four.”
“Four mont? Jolomi dis na February na!”
“Ehen? So?” Jolomi dey look me like say I no
well.
“So wetin? No be December 26 me and you
do paroles? How come pikin don reach four
months? Abi na my ciga give you belle?”
Jolomi come dey understand wetin don
happen. Shame catch am immediately.
“I don dey warn you. I don dey warn you,
Jolomi. Repent and stop workin ashewo. I
don dey warn you.” Jolomi no fit answer. She
just confuse. She come dey look d doctor like
say na him betray Jesus. If to say I sabi read
bible, I for show am where dem keep Judas.
She come begin count finger. I just dey look
am. Abi she don crase finally finally?
“Okaaaaaay. E be like say na Moruf get am
sha. I no calculate well be dat.” I no know
wetin to do Jolomi. Even to insult am tire me.
“Jolomi please give your life to Christ. I don
tell you.” I no even wait again sef. Na run I
run commot for hospital. I later regret
because I for demand my two-five from dat
mumu girl.
But I happy gaan! For evening, I just arrange
myself dey drink, dey dotti eye for Iya Ibeji
joint for Opeleyeru street. One woman dey
sell drink for Onyah but her shop near one
white garment church. I no fit dey look Jesus
picture dey manya. Anyway, d shepe been
make sense that day. Like say Iya Ibeji know
say beta tin happen for my side.
I sha dey my own jejely when Napodia come
pass. Napodia na Iya Ibeji first pikin. My
people, una for come see yansh na!
See yansh!
Make I talk am again: yanshhh!
E possible say d yansh size increase because
of d shepe wey dey my body dat evening sha.
I no sure. Napodia fit tall pass me small. She
no black but she no yellow. Her face no too
fine but I no dey chop face.
“Heyss! Come here!” My voice sef come
strooong. Napodia turn look me. I don dey
notice d babe before but she no dey fine for
my eye. But as she look me dat day, I look am
back. Omo, d babe no too bad sha. Shepe get
power o.
“Na wetin?!” she nearly dey shout sef. Idiot.
She know who I be?
“I say come here my friend! You know why I
dey call you?” she carry tray but notin dey
inside. E be like say she been dey help her
mama do sontin but I no send. She begin
waka dey come.
“Oya. Na wetin make you dey call me?”
“I call you because I have one question for
you,” Jolomi take style teach me English sha.
And I don hiiiiigh…
“Wetin be d question,” Mumu sef dey squeeze
face for me. Dis Napodia deserve slap. In
fact, all d girls for dis area deserve slap!
“My question is: why your yansh big like dis?”
As I dey ask, my hand don fly go her back go
slap d yansh small. She no dey fear?
“Common, remove ya hand. Common!” She
dey slap my hand but she dey laugh small
join.
“Why won’t I slap d yansh? You sef no see as
e big. If to say you be me, you no go slap d
yansh?” D yeye babe begin laugh more. I
know say maga don fall. Idiot…
*******************************************
“I no go huzzle (till infinity) but I go bubble
(till infinity)…”
I pick d phone. Wizboyy na still my man. I
never buy jeep and Showkey never serious
yet.
“Hello, guy how far na?” Na my guy Kajeta
been dey call. Again.
“Guuuuy! Yawa don gaaassssss o!”
“Ahn ahn. Wetin happen again?”
“Napodia don get belle!”
“Napo-wetin?”
All dis Orile winches no go kill me!

*****WATCH OUT FOR MORE STORIES*****

Well...I think 2years a very long time 2 stall a man even if u re testing him.for me i think he felt dat u didnt love him because u didnt even,so he went for someone who'll shower him with love.it is lesson 2 all ladies,dont wait for Mr Right create your own Mr Right...**i rest my case**

Segun had been on my case for at least 2 years.
I met him one hot Saturday as I was waiting for a taxi on a Grogner Street in Iwaya, Onike. He pulled over and asked where I was headed. I don’t ever talk to people on the road but this day, the look of the mist on the window of his air conditioned car made it difficult to ignore him given the extreme heat I was exposed to.
I stepped into his car, grateful for the ride, yet determined to let him know I was no cheap girl that jumps into available cars.
“Thank you so much, Sir, for the ride. I normally wouldn’t do this but I have been standing outside in the sun for at least 30 minutes. The cabs come in trickles and are either taken or too expensive. No one is interested in going my way”
“Where might that be?” He asked, totally ignoring every other thing I had said.
“I’m going to Ikota but I’ll drop off once we get to any major road where I can find a cab”.
“You’re in luck. I’m actually going to VGC but I need to get to Surulere first. So I can either drop you off at a taxi park or you accompany me to Surulere and then I drop you off at your doorstep.”
Inasmuch as I was so eager not to overuse help being rendered, I opted for the latter option. I was in no hurry whatsoever to go my empty home. Mom and dad were on their way to Ikene for a week long engagement and my younger siblings were all in school. My best friend, Mololu had kindly volunteered to spend the week with me but she would not be getting to mine until Sunday night so that meant I’d be spending Saturday night by myself with only Larry, the dog and Mustafa, the gate man, for company.
I looked at my wristwatch, with its recently cracked screen and declared,
“Well, it’s just 1.00 and I’m not in a hurry so I’ll go with you”.
I got to meet him properly. His name is Segun, a businessman who was into the oil and gas sector. He had been working for himself in Libya before moving to Nigeria earlier that year. The Nigerian side of his business was only just growing and was already facing major challenges but a meeting he had in Abuja two weeks from our meeting would determine if a major stumbling block would be removed and his license would be granted. He saw an RCCG band on my wrist and asked me to pray along with him. I promised to.
As he dropped me off at about 4pm that Saturday evening, I felt like I knew him already. Segun was very chatty, divulging a lot so quickly. During those hours we spent together, I also found out that he has a 5 year old daughter by a white French girl he dated all through his university years in France. The lady had gone on to marry another Nigerian and they lived in Port Harcourt with his daughter, Amélie. His dad was long gone and his mom had raised he and his siblings by herself. I did what I do not ever do. I gave him my phone numbers and my pin and from there, we became friends.
The problem with Segun was with his way of showing concern and love. My primary love language is Quality Time and I’m not really the type to get all mushy too early. So it came as a bit of a rude shock to me when I received my first “love you baby”, 2 weeks from the day we met. I really didn’t know what to make of the message and it abruptly ended our chat as I did not respond. To be fair to him, I assumed he was simply overjoyed as he was granted all necessary permits we prayed for, that he spoke out of turn.
About four hours after, at 1 am, I got another message from him telling me how much he’s so into me and how he feels like he has finally found what he had been looking for and if I would be okay being a second mom to his daughter and how he wants me to meet his mom. I read it and responded with a “BRB”. Later in the day, we met up for a meal and then I explained how, though I appreciate his feelings, it was all too soon for me and I would appreciate if I am given a bit more time to be on that kind of level with him. In the meanwhile, I suggested that we remain friends. He looked a bit disappointed but accepted and declared that he was in no hurry and would wait for me however long it took me to realise my feelings for him or develop them.
Segun was extremely generous to me, almost worryingly so. Once he travelled and brought me an orange Hermès’ Birkin 40cm bag which retails for about $2000. I was shocked and despite loving nice stuff, I didn’t want to take it from him initially but I eventually did mentioning it to him that he really didn’t need to spend that much on me and he should focus more on growing his business.
Mololu usually saw one Harrods or Neiman Marcus shopping bag or the other and was always encouraging me to “stop fronting and say yes to Segun before a sharp girl does”. I guess because of the manner in which he approached me, it made me a bit overly cautious since this his asking out was more like a proposal and he seemed so sure of his feelings for me. I slowed things down a lot and outrightly refused to meet his mom for the first three months. I didn’t want to get carried away at all and kept praying and taking things slow. Despite our living so close to each other, I hardly went to his and since I come from a relatively strict home, his visits were sparing as well (of my doing).
About six months after we met, work commitments took him away from Nigeria for a long while. During that period, he would come to Nigeria at least once a month, bombarding me with all manners of gifts. Even when he was not around, he’d randomly have flowers delivered to my office.
He would send handwritten letters by DHL and whenever anyone was travelling to Nigeria, he would have them deliver something to me, however small. There was a time he sent me a bottle of Lucozade because I had lamented that the Nigerian one tasted different. When it came to giving, Segun was without fault. But in my opinion, there was more to consider than how generous a man is.
Sometime, five months ago, Mololu was sent to England for a training to last 3 weeks and she used the opportunity to shop and ended up having 2 extra boxes. She complained over the phone to me telling me the airline was overcharging her and then, partly because I felt it right to help and partly because I had ordered somethings which she was bringing for me, I decided to ask Segun if he could help out since I know he always travelled light and never uses the extra allowance granted to him. He accepted to help bring the extra boxes and I gave her his hotel address to drop them off a day before her flight. He was due in Nigeria a week and half after.
My suspicion was first roused when, upon his arrival, he took the bags to Mololu’s in Ogudu, instead of as I expected, bringing it to me and having us sort ourselves out. I asked for the favour. I mentioned to him that my stuff was included in the box so it came as a surprise to me when he drove all the way to hers the next day to drop the boxes off. When I asked him why he did that, he said the boxes were quite heavy and that he was going that way and decided to drop them off. I had more questions but felt since I was not his girlfriend, there is a limit to the questions I can pose without looking funny. My pride got in the way and I decided not to mention it anymore.
The calls reduced. The texts were shorter. The usual “love you” closing went missing. ‘Mololu too reduced her communication with me. Then one day, she drove to mine and after lunch asked the most random question, ‘Are you and Segun in a relationship?”. She looked like she had struggled to ask that question but at the same time, as though that was her aim for coming to mine.
“Why do you ask?”
“Nothing at all o. Just wondering "cause you have known him for a while and you said you were praying a while back for direction and was wondering if maybe God said no since you are not dating him”, she mumbled.
“Omololu, did I say we are not dating?”
“Oh sorry. But I kinda know you are not”
At this stage, I know she and Segun must have spoken about our relationship status and so I decided to cut to the chase.
“Did Segun mention it to you himself?”
She looked down and playing with her perfectly manicured nails, said yes. I had noticed she brought a brand new car to mine with a new plate number. She had the black of my Hermes bag too. Wow! I didn’t want to believe what I know just had to be the truth. It was written all over her face. I don’t know where I got the strength but I said not a word after that. Awkwardly, she picked up her bag and car keys. I noticed then it was a Hyundai. It must be the Sonata she always wanted ever since it was released last year. She would always point at every 2011 Sonata she saw on the road and say she’d one day, get it.
To cut the very long tale short, my best friend Omololu and my 2 year old toaster are now together. Segun drove to mine 2 weeks after Omololu did and said somethings to me. He first of all apologised. He said he was not sorry for moving on but sorry that it had to be someone I knew simply because of the sake of his consideration of my feelings and not because it was wrong. He said, as I never for once, declared any form of feelings for him during our almost 2 year friendship, he does not feel he had wronged me in any way. He said he would always be grateful for meeting me as, through me, a door of everlasting joy had been opened to him and he would like my blessing as he walks into it. I was weak.
To be honest, I’m not hundred percent certain which hurts more, the fact that I’m losing a really nice and eligible suitor, that I lost him to a ‘friend’, the sneaky way it happened or the fact that I almost executed the deed for them by creating an enabling environment.
I really wanted to know how it all happened and so I demanded the tale, not from Mololu, but from Segun himself. He told me that the week before he travelled, when he saw her at mine, they had got talking whilst I was in the bathroom and she had mentioned she would be off on training and that she would be doing crazy shopping for her new apartment. They had a few ‘moments’ that day but they did not exchange numbers. It was the day she brought the bags to his hotel that the sparks went flying. She had gotten to his hotel at about 12 noon and they went to out together and he dropped her off at her hotel at about 9pm. Early the next morning, at about 5 am, he drove down to her hotel to take her to the airport himself and from their journey, they got even closer. According to him, he knew that morning that he was ‘home’. That conversation sounded painfully familiar and I couldn’t help my grimace. At that juncture, I held up my hands and told him I was satisfied with the information he furnished and that they both have my blessing. He hugged me and left.
That evening, Omololu updated her status with these words “Those that wait on the Lord will rejoice. I rejoice. Behold, my Boaz!”. His picture was her DP. I remember that picture. I took it with his iPhone whilst trying out an app. Each day, a new picture of him would be put on display. There was even one of herself, Segun and his daughter. She had firmly ingrained herself in his life.
Due to how serious I know Segun is, it came as no shock to me when she told me they were getting married and she really wanted me to be her chief bridesmaid though if I felt I could not do it, she would understand. According to her, she was doing that for the friendship we once shared which she hoped we could revive. I refused. But not before letting her know that I could be counted on if she needed any assistance.
At about 12 midnight, I got this email from her,
“Sweetheart, I love you. God knows I do. I apologise for how I might have hurt you but despite all, I would be a liar to say I would or could elect to do things differently if given a second chance.
Oluwasegun has brought me the type of joy I thought was only for the fairy tales. But through him, I have my very own fairy tale. I love him with all my being. I know I might come across as insensitive and selfish. I am sorry. But please, try and find a place in your kind heart to let go of any hurt you might be experiencing and enter into a place of happiness for me, Omololu, your sister and best friend since our Corona days. It should not be heard that we are fighting over a man and remember, my darling, you never were in a relationship with Segun.
You never took the plunge, you shielded your heart from hurt and refused to commit to anything. I know you babes. When you truly love a man, you have no time for such long due diligence exercises. If you want to be sincere with yourself, you would admit that Segun never did anything to your heart. Your heart did not skip beats with the sound of his voice. Your body never quivered with the touch of his hands. I understand you two never even kissed. You clearly never felt love for him.
However, I cannot discount the friendship you shared. Till date, he still goes on and on about how you are the only friend whose loss moved him to his core. I can testify too of your level of regard of your friendship and respect for him. But my dear, friendship and respect are not solid foundation enough upon which to construct a marriage. You knew this and this is why you stalled. What did not grow in 2 years would most likely never grow.
I hope you understand that the aim of this email is not to throw in your face the fact that Oluwasegun and yourself never had anything concrete but to let you take a proper, honest and dispassionate look at goings on. If you do, forgiving me would come, naturally.
I can’t stop loving you dear. I am sad that the vow we made to each other 16 years ago to be each others’ maids of honour even if one got married first would not be fulfilled. Please, re-examine your heart and find a place in it to forgive me.
Yours now and always,
‘Mololu.”
The tears came pouring down. I couldn’t say exactly why and they were not asking. I felt sorry for myself. I felt sad because I really wasn’t crazy about Segun but we could have made it work, I guess. Omololu now was benefitting from all the prayers I invested in Segun, all the fasting. That, more than anything hurt me. I would have married Segun. I just needed him to pass one more test and voila, I’d have said yes to him. I never thought he’d stop loving me. I never though I’d lose him and certainly not to my friend, my supposed best friend.
***
I eventually decided to be her Chief Bridesmaid and muster strength to be happy for her. There was no faking the look of intense joy on her face when I told her I changed my mind. She jumped on me in her usual boisterous fashion, laughing and crying at the same time.
God has been helping me. It has been hard. Especially when I see the look on Segun’s face as he looks at her. He never looked at me that way, I must confess.
His business has been doing greatly and he is sparing nothing for his wedding. His daughter, upon Omololu’s request, will be both the little bride and the flower girl. Omololu’s nephew will be the ringbearer. Her Eli Saab dress is absolutely beautiful. Segun flew us both to England to get it. She asked for a size bigger and I suspect she is pregnant.
With each day, the feeling of hurt and betrayal gets slowly taken over by happiness for her and hope for my own future. I still haven’t met anyone worth reporting on and despite this, I have joy. Not happiness, but joy; joy that all will turn out well. But for now, I still can’t help from asking myself each time I look at Omololu,‘How could she?!‘

Dear readers, what are your thoughts? Would you call Omololu a ‘husband’ snatcher? Was the writer at fault? Did she stall for too long??

oluswaggz: Av always tot it was "original poster" tnx for d info. To oda nairalanders dt are jst getting to kno dis also. Jst swallow ur pride nd tnk him ooo.


Oh jeez. I knew dis topic wud make fp. I no hustle in vain.
Well u guys kno wr am going bt I wnt say it..










If I hear!!!

FTC wat a good way to end dis year..
Dis is my time to shine. Am d first to comment nd I even av my own topic on d fp nd av got over 70 likes elsewhere!!! Naso person dey make am be dat ooo.. Tuale baba God for d FAME!!!!...

Dem dey give una Samsung GS4 for first to comment

miteolu: What is 'beyond repair' in just seven months marriage?

Dem don fight break bottle too much ni

lordhugo: [size=20pt]Pictures of ghana with you in a cab. Or in front of a statue or it never happened. [/size]

Na copy and paste article

Killing three babies ?,well a murderer wudnt hv done better...you shud have noticed some changes in him after the first abortion(maybe you allowed you feelings to over-shadow ur sense of thinking)...move on now dat you've learnt your lesson.No matter how much u stay with some people they are won't still be your friend.I've heard worse stories,find a way to forget though its definitely not Gonna be easy **sad**

Omo meen...dat Egypt babe na Goddess o...followed bY the Angola babe, vvonne Nelson looks cute tho

Even witout voting for 2baba...i know he'll Win....i heard he has children in Every state of Nigeria.#just passing by tho...