₦airaland Forum

As long as our society celebrate wealth without questioning the sources, such crimes will not stop.

When you question how the money being lavished was made, most people will call you enemies of progress .

But when a money ritualist is caught and you did not join to condemn him, same people will say you're heartless.

Please the government should do something about this ritual killings. Honestly Nigeria is no longer safe for anybody.

R.I.P to the girl

Hmm.. Nigeria is no longer safe for anybody

Karlovych:
Useless Afonja

Learn to be civil. Any tribe can carry out a harmful, illegal, or immoral act.

Quickly report this case to the police. May your car be found before Monday.

bepositive11:
Codependency is a red flag

Everyone has flaws because no one is perfect

But not everyone has red flags

Please do a Google search to learn about the difference

Edit: Maybe red flags are flaws too, but some flaws can be overlooked while no red flag should be overlooked. And not all flaws are red flags

And people tend to refer to things as flaws when they're not too serious a problem to be called red flags

I replied initially because you claimed that red flags can be overlooked. I wanted to explain why they can't be overlooked and based on your reply, it seems that you now understand that

Please Google to learn the difference

I have been a nairalander for 3 years now and this is my FIRST post or comment on Romance Section, if I'm lying to you, feel free to go through all my comments and quote me if you ever see me on romance section.

I'm not always active on romance section because I don't like to interfere on people's relationship matters. But This particular topic drew my attention so that people could read and learn that red flag and flaws are the same. Infact after today, I don't think you will see me here on romance section probably till 3 or 4 years later. Meanwhile I'm active here on nairaland.

Most ladies see a smoking partner as big red flags, Infact total turn off (but here you are saying it's flaws)

Most ladies have no issue with codependency (but here you are saying it's a red flag)

Most ladies can endure a woman beater as a partner but I can't.

Are you aware that most ladies can endure a cheating partner but I can't.

My point here is that, red flags and flaws are the same.

Fiscus105:
Hope you can cope with odor of cigarette in his mouth and in the house and how will you cope in future if he is sending ur daughter/son to buy cigarette for him and eventually your son starts smoking? You think deeply, if you don't see them as big deal, u re free to roll on.

I will also ask you, if you are not sticked with him mainly because on his money ,fame or handsomeness?

We have been dating for 5 years now (we met in our final year at uniben). I copied with him for years and he's not stupid enough to start sending our kids to buy cigarettes for him if eventually we get married.

He smokes if he hang out with his friends, he can never smoke in his house, I visit him often and his house is always neat, there's no sign of cigarettes pack, odor or ashes.

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not in support of his red flags, like I stated earlier I always advice him to stop smoking.

He respect me, he don't beat me, he's transparent with me he don't cheat on me. By the special Grace of God we'll get married by next year.

I can't cope with a woman beater or a cheating guy. Never!!

Mind you, my boyfriend is just like every other average Nigerian who is working and hustling legally to earn a living, he's not broke neither is he rich, he's just on an average.

SirBunky85:
it's an insult.BTW,can we know your state of origin?

I'm from Edo state

bepositive11:
Flaws and red flags are not the same

Flaws can be overlooked, but red flags cannot be overlooked

Red flags are the things that indicate that you can't have a healthy relationship with a person. That's why lying and cheating falls under red flags. If there's lying, for example, how can you trust your partner's words? If there's cheating, how can you have peace of mind when having sex without fears of STDs?

Smoking is a flaw to you because you feel that you can still have a healthy/functional relationship even though you're not happy with the habit. You can still trust your partner

When there's no trust, there's no relationship. Unhealthy relationships with lying and cheating will only drag you down - your self respect, self confidence, self esteem, happiness, peace of mind, etc will diminish with time

Flaws are things like snoring, excessive sweating, bad breath, etc. These can be overlooked or managed. You can still have a healthy relationship with someone despite their flaws

Sir, red flags and flaws are the same. I put it to you that flaws cannot be overlooked too.

Red flags and flaws are behaviors that show a deep rooted issue and indicators that you could end up in an unhealthy relationship.

For example, if the person you're dating MUST talk to you 100 times a day and hates when you go spend time with your friends without them, that is indicative of unhealthy behavior (i.e. issues with codependency)

Sir, flaws and red flags are the same.

MYHUBBY:
Jamb question, stay away from anything that badmouth my tribe. I'm a tribalist, you badmouth Yoruba you get the insult of ya life


Yoruba ain't nobody's mate

I'm so sorry if you feel insulted or offended.

But I wasn't insulting yoruba people. I only said I pity Lagosians. How is that an insult?

MYHUBBY:
Pele o nationalist fool. you're promoting Nationalism with your earlier imbecilic post now

why are you insulting me?

Does nairaland sound like Zenith bank to your ears? Why can't you go to the bank and lay your complain?

I suggest you call Zenith bank customer service like right now.

MYHUBBY:
even it comes to that with your weak brain, he will not sell Yoruba out as Hope uzodinma is selling ipob so cheap in imo state

tribal bigot like you.

SirBunky85:
why not ask that urchin who insulted the whole Lagosians?you insulted Lagosians and here you're forming polite. Abeg try shifting cultivation

How did I insult Lagosians? I only said I pity Lagosians, is that an insult?

I'm so sorry if you feel insulted.

SirBunky85:
you should first pity your immediate family

Why are you people always rude on this forum?

saintrow1:
His name is not on the list

Go and rest your stupid mind, werey

Why are you insulting me? Can't you state your point without insulting me?

Moyosore419:
Don’t just open your mouth and say anything that comes out of it... how’s that possible
Una just dey beef glory
Na them say, them say una dey hear

who's beefing anyone's glory here? This why I find it difficult to relate with you people on nairaland.

One day, MC Oluomo will be a sitting Governor of Lagos State.

I really pity for Lagosians

Blablamalala:
I intentionally used that as an example to get to you since you are a lady. And I got the reaction I expected.

What will you do if you catch a guy sniffing your underwear?

First of all, with all these evil atrocities around, I won't be so careless dumping my undies anyhow. I'm always conscious about that. Infact I spread my undies in my bathroom.

Now back to your question: if I catch my boyfriend (definitely I can't be so careless for a random guy to sniff my undies) sniffing my undies, I will give him the warning of his life never to try such weird and fetish thing. Infact he's gonna be a suspect.

luminouz:
You are my witch!!!


N.B: just messing with you. You didn't get my joke but it's ok

Blablamalala:
Am sure if not for porn that has made licking pussies popular. Many would have tagged it as being sick.

So, you're support of him packing a lady's Urine for no reason?

Just read the poor and weak philosophy you gave. Hmm.. It's well oo. Weird people everywhere.

luminouz:
Why haven't you sent my baidei present?

Is today your birthday? How do expect me to know, when I'm not a witch?

Well, Happy birthday to you. I wish you Long joyful life and prosperity.

Blablamalala:
Na sexual fetish. Him just D smell am to get sexual fulfillment . Why do you people think it is ritually inclined?

Hmm.. That's weird. Please is he sick upstairs?

luminouz:
What's doing you bayi?

I don't understand?

Nigeria is a joke.

Is this the new evil plan? Packing a lady's Urine?

He should be arrested and tortured in order to expose those who sent him or those who he's working with.

Why do Nigerians so much believe in rituals?

bepositive11:
Red flags are not the same as flaws

Red flags are signs that a person can't have a healthy relationship. You may recall OP's examples - lying, cheating, disrespect. These things cannot be overlooked

If you overlook them, you'll end up in an unhealthy and toxic relationship / marriage that will drag you down - lower your self esteem, self worth, self confidence, and so on

Flaws and red flags mostly have same definition. If you end that lying or cheating relationship of yours, how are you sure you're going to see someone better. Mind you I'm not in support of a cheating or lying partner.

Let me tell you a little bit about my relationship. My Partner smokes like he's in a competition with a car exhaust, although I'm not happy and I do advice him but then that does not mean I should end the relationship.

I don't know if my next relationship might be worse, probably the next guy could be a chronic cheater, drug addict or woman beater.

So my dear, I just have to manage and endure with him.

Kobojunkie:
There are truly no red-flagless relationships or marriages out there. Every marriage, good or bad, has them. Instead, people are meant to accept or tolerate those red-flags where possible..

What we do in every single relationship is access the possible risks of the red-flags a possible partner comes to the table with, and decide if the burden is bearable or not at that point. This is why I think It is not really correct to go asking others about the weight of potential red-flags because in the end, only You can and should best access that for yourself.

Exactly my point. No one is perfect

No one is perfect. Everybody has that red flag traits in them. All we need to do is to manage the red Flag of our partner hope he/she would change.

How are you sure you're not gonna see worse red flag out there, if you eventually end the relationship?

Brighton1:
My post might be lengthy, but Pls read because I need advice.

I've been living in Lagos for 5yrs now, even before the death of my father (R.I.P). I lost my dad 4yrs ago. I'm the eldest and I have two younger ones. I'm a contractor.

My mom and my siblings are based in ekpoma edo state. I call them regularly, I advice them, I send them money for up-keep, I visit home once in a while. I play both role of a father and elder bro to my siblings. I don't want them feel the absence of my father.

My construction team got a contract at Auchi, it was an opportunity for me to visit home often.

My younger sister is a 300L student in AAU. She is 22yrs old, she don't read, she's always on social media (tik tok & Co.) Nobody can touch her phone, if my lil bro wants to browse something important or play game with her phone, she will just be screaming at him as if Ogun is about to strike her... Don't touch my phone o, drop it down.

Even the phone (iPhone 7) I was the one who gave it to her when I bought my current phone (Samsung). I promised my lil bro he shouldn't worry, as soon as I get paid for the job I'm currently working on, I will get him a phone before I travel back to Lagos.

Okay, Yesterday I only said, now that ASUU is on strike, find something to do, get busy, learn a skill, even if it's fashion designing, make-up or catering.

She was just giving me flamzy excuses, and the annoying part is she will be raising her voice while talking to me. I almost used a belt to flog her if not for my mom that held me.

My father's house is a bungalow, and we have a tanent, Anytime I receive the house rent (200k yearly) I send everything to my mother. My mom would be like I should hold some for myself but I said NO, they need it more.

AAU school fees is now x4 compared to what I paid back then when I was there. Yet I'm the one providing 80% of her school fees while my mom 20%.

My Lil bro who's just 18 yrs old is more hardworking than her, he goes to my mom's shop to help her out, he's learning how to cut hair and he plays instruments very good (piano & bass guitar). He plays for a church that pays him 5k per week (he plays weds & sun for the church). I pray uniben grant him admission this year.

My father was a nice man, he disciplined us and his death won't change that. I want him to be proud of me wherever he is now.

Nairaland family, I need your advice. My sister depend so much on the money I give her. I don't want her to be a leech.

reduce the money you give to her.

Speak to her calmly. Tell her instead of wasting her time and Data on tik tok, Instagram and all.. She can market a brand for someone and get paid (commission)

She really need to change her ways else she will be doomed for life.

Some men can be so irritating.

Personality, I can't support either of them. Osinbajo is also part of this catastrophe economy.

ERockson:
If you see Nigerian with so many awards, You have just seen a bad person with fake life and this fact is not for only Kyari

Well, I disagree with you sir.

My dad is not a learned person (not educated), but he has collected many awards (17 awards) in our community here in Benin.

My dad was a vigilante for many years, he was diligent and hard-working in his job. Our local chairman also awarded him too.

My dad has also work in Oba palace, isege of Benin awarded him too. My dad is a good man.

Now, he deals with cement and he has boys working for him.

mytime24:
Op dey use marketing strategy advertise d car
To see if any nlder is interested

Exactly my thoughts .

Well, as long as the car is sold, any marketing strategy is welcome.