₦airaland Forum

Hi Doc, just new on the thread.
I want to know the type of drug to be used by a nursing mother as family planning.

Honestly, I cant really understand something. Is this the same tutorial you have being talking about since March 2010? Men! You must have suffered a lot of disappointment from these your professionals. Are you sure this disappointment will not spread to the interested fellows? Good luck!!!

This is a job consultancy firm. We offer job in professions like; banking, engineering, pastoring, marketing and so on.
Here are the conditions you would have to abide on after your appointment.


SICKNESS
We will no longer accept your doctors' statements as proof.
We believe if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to work.

LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR SURGERY
We are no longer allowing this practice. As long as you are employed here, you will need all of whatever you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for. Anyone having operations will be FIRED immediately.

PREGNANCY
In the event of extreme pregnancy, you will be allowed to go to the first aid room when the pains are FIVE MINUTES apart. If it is false labor, you will have to take an hour's leave without pay.

DEATH
This will be accepted as an excuse, BUT we would like two weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone your job prior to . . . or after death.

Intersted persons should call 08098765432123456789.
Courtesy; Management.

My girl friend asked me why I am not eating my food and I told her it is hot. She smiled and asked again and I said it is very hot. Finally, she laughed and asked again and finally I said It is very hot.

Our moderator dani1luv opened the door of his BMW car, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, dani1luv was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

dani1luv: "Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!" he whined.

officer: "dani1luv you was so materialisticated, you making me sicker!", "You a are so worried abouting your silly BMW carses, that you didn't even noticing that your left arms was rippeded off!"

dani1luv: "Oh my gosh", finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was and asked,  "Where's my Rolex!"

I come ask am, Excuse me, "Why don't you worry about your arm instead of this expensive material?"

dani1luv: Hear watin you call am, "expensive". My arm is cheap I can easily get another from God but i will have to do extra job for another BMW and my Rolex.

A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex."
"But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied.
"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry."

Ladies no vex

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the accident?
A: Gucci sweatshirt and Reeboks.

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: By whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.


Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

This guy goes into a doctor's office. The doctor says, "Oh, Mr. John Doe! We have the results of your test. Do you want the bad news first or the very bad news?" The guy shrugs and says, "Well I guess I'll have the bad news first." "Well the bad news is, you have 24 hours to live," the doctor replies. The man is distraught, "24 hours to live? That's horrible! What could be worse than that? What's the VERY bad news?" The doctor folds his hands and sighs, "The very bad news is, I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."

Efemena_xy:
Seriously reposted joke

some fresh 'n new pls. . .

Ok then. Take this;


An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."
Who is right? No take side.

MAN:
1) Pull up to machine
2) Wind window down
3) Insert ATM card, enter PIN
4) Retrieve cash
5) Drive away

WOMAN:
1) Pull up to machine
2) Open door (too far away from machine)
3) Search through all of the 112 compartments in handbag for ATM card
4) Do make up, apply lipstick, fix hair
5) Insert Card
6) Remove card
7) Insert card the correct way up
Search for piece of paper with PIN on it
9) Enter PIN
10) Enter correct PIN
11) Retrieve cash, put in bag
12) Drive off
13) Reverse back to machine
14) Retrieve card
15) Drive three miles away
16) Release hand-brake

Barack Obama met with the Queen of England. He asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there, any tips you can give to me?"
‎"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people." Obama frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"
The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please , See More send Tony Blair in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walked into the room and said, "Yes, Your Majesty?" The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this please, Tony, your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, "That would be me."
"Yes! Very good," said the Queen.
Obama went back home to ask Joe Biden, his vice presidential choice the same question. "Joe, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?" "I'm not sure," said Biden. "Let me get back to you on that one, " He went to his advisors and asked every one, but none could give him an answer.
Finally, he ran into Sarah Palin out eating one night. Biden asked, “Sarah, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Sarah Palin answered back, "That's easy, it's me!"
Biden smiled, and said, "Thanks!" Then, he went back to speak with Obama. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Sarah Palin!"
Obama got up, stomped over to Biden, and angrily yelled into his face, "No! Not you. You idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

A young man tutored his sweetheart maths,
he thought of it as his mission,
he kissed her once then once again and said
"There, that's addition!"
She took it upon herself to return the pleasant action,
she kissed once and once again,
smiled and said "and that's subtraction!"
Now she'd learned the basics without too much complication,
they kissed each other once, then twice,
and said "that must be multiplication!"
Meanwhile the young lady's father
had this 'lesson' in his vision,
he kicked that boy ten foot out the door and said
"Then that is long division!"

So, SOJADED teach us the kind of question we should ask the Doc. Maybe abt irritations or what have you. You had better tell the Doc what the hell is wrong with you.

Hey!!! Let me in. I would also love to go for a cute girl with a quality of a human being btw the ages of 20 and 24.
Email: deeonealergya01@yahoo.co.uk.

Good day Docs in the house.

I have being having difficulties in breathing for a long time now. I have different health guide and I have the impression of having Allergic Reactions or and Hay Fever. I noticed I am allergic to Dry Air, Dust and Polen grains. I have tried to guild against this. Anytime I get myself in any of this mess, I always have watery running nose, so watery that it taste less(cos I do taste it) together with sneezing, powerful one. After the running nose stage, I will have a blocked nose and after sometime I will start sneezing out some thick brownish mucour. Please what can I do?

Thanks ZIM DRILL.
I thought this might be the problem is that, I bought the system tokunbo, and I later confirmed that it came originally with 60gb hard disc but have being changed to 160gb. Can't this cause some problems like slow booting and co? I an using Glo browser and I have discovered that the network here is not that good. I am on 2G service instead on 3G. I am using Window Vista. Thanks.

Help me ooo

Thanks. I have being to that site before. The problem I have is downloading with my browser it will suck everything and has no being easy. Pls can have another option? Once again thanks alot.

I am plaeding to everybody in the house, help me out with Video Card Driver and Intel Wireless LAN (11abgn, abg, bg) for Windows Vista - ThinkPad for
Product: ThinkPad Z60m 2530-27J
Operating system: Windows Vista
Original description: Celeron M 360(1.4GHz), 512MB RAM, 60GB 5400rpm HD, 15.4in 1280x800 LCD, Intel 900, CDRW/DVD, Intel 802.11abg wireless, Modem, 1Gb Ethernet, UltraNav, Secure chip, IEEE 1394, Fingerprint reader, 6c Li-Ion batt, WinXP Pro.

I will be glad if I can see all the drivers that came with the system even if it will cost me something. I have being downloading some but it is very stress full. My subscription does not allow for much of downloading so far its based on gbs.

I bought the system Tokunbo and since March, I have just downloaded a suitable Audio driver after many trials which afterall failled.

Please, if you have any body sell laptops of this kind, it can be copied from it.

Thanks.

Thank you guys alot. Its good bieng part of this eye opening club. Can anyone plase give MTN APN. Thanks.

I have being recieving various adverts on DCE. Can any one in the house tell me how real this is. Thanks.

I am really happy and God bless you for helping us.
I am using;
Model: E160G
IMEI: 359390029663756.
Thank you.

Can anyone please tell me more about this dce?