₦airaland Forum

What makes you think that I believe that it is ideal? I used to fix minor issues with our generators. I fix my light bulb. I change the fuse of my sockets and sometimes I socket itself (It has been a very long time though). And if I can't I have a phone to call a technician.


The homes that I know, they call someone to weed it. Besides, it is not a day-to-day chore and a phone call is all you need. However it may also interest you to know that I have operated a lawnmower before and I used to weed our vegetable garden with my brothers.

This is coming from a girl with 4 younger brothers. I am okay if my brother kills the chicken while I remove the feather.

I can as well ask myself why I need a marriage. My point is why is that you cannot just do the things you do before marriage especially if your partner is swarmed. Why should I be in a marriage where I can't trust my partner to help me out or care for his home because he thinks it would reduce the testosterone in his body or make him less of a man?

If he is ready to be traditional. He must be ready to provide all the money including the cost of ordinary salt and we shall what he spends over the financial reality of the chores I do. Money is everything, isn't it?


Can I also mention that most of you guys are not taken the structure of modern family and economy into consideration? Gone are those days where most homes have a 'sister or brother or child' in the house that helps the wife with house chores.

raumdeuter:
I am sure many women when the generator spoils they wait for their husband to fix it, or when there is an engine light on in the car they just park it and wait for the husband to come fix it . Is that disturbing to you as well because they feel its not a chore for a woman

A woman whose lawn is overgrown would she take cutlass and weed it? I know most would wait for their husband to be back home to do the manly chores

I am still going to disagree. I have heard of how nurses fvck around with doctors in Nigerian hospitals and I have seen how my married teachers frolic with each other and I have heard how my neighbour who sells something have sex with another married man.

Sorry I am still going to disagree because if poverty is a reason for infidelity, then financial security is a definitely a reason to cheat.

AreaFada2:
let me make a medical analogy. Anybody, including kids ( retinoblastoma, leukaemia) can have cancer. But still, cancer is a disease of old age. Lay people will of course dispute this but it is a fact. Research figures and experience clearly show that. People do die of thunder strike, but the chances if dying from a road accident if far higher.

Anything can happen anywhere, but we are talking of prevalence, consistency and reproducibility.
The thread was about a cheating fiance, if you start a thread on a cheating fiancee, we can then dissect that.

Are you that old? Have you tried blocking those who pressurise you from your life? Left to me, that is what I would do irrespective of the relationship.

Succumbing to pressure for low-lifers damages your esteem. So I am still rooting for low-self esteem. Having an unhappy marriage or with a crazy partner would not only make you a ghost of yourself, it would also damage your kids for life.

rheether:
Poverty? No. Low self esteem? Hell No. If only you know what the pressure is like.

Cheund, please never confront him with separation or divorce. If you do, you are at more risk of grievous bodily harm, death and increased and more frequent abuse. It is a proven statistical fact.

Can you please take shaybebaby's advice? It is positive and inspiring. If at all you want a family meeting, do it when you are not staying with him. Don't ever accept responsibility for whatever that he did. Don't allow any family member including your siblings and mother to speak you into living with a violent man. Remember that your children may end up seeing his behaviour as normal and carry on with the cycle of abuse therefore it is up to you to ensure that it stops. You should be able to get a restraining or a non-molestation order from the court if you do not want to leave the house for him.


Shaybebaby, you will make a good psychologist

Acidosis:
@Cheund
When did this whole thing started? after your 3rd child? 2nd child?

Are your kids all female?

Have you ever lied to him? about your age? virginity?

Did you beg him to marry you?

Do you have an elder brother/uncle?

Why don't you threaten him with a divorce, and watch his reaction?

Why don't you drop a fake divorce paper/file/appraisal on the Table, or any other place he could see it? On sighting that, the fear of poverty and homelessness would make him run to you to ask questions.

Pls note, never be scared to divorce anyone. You're only 32, young and beautiful. Many men would see you, 'toast' you, and treat you like an angel that you are. Never be scared of loneliness! No man loves divorce, the fear of starting over again would make him search for the love he used to share with you, especially now that he has 3 kids.

Do all this, and come back with results. BTW, if you need a fake divorce appraisal, you could get it easily.

I agree that the consequences are the reasons some women are deterred and that applies to some women irrespective of location and colour. However it does not negate the fact that women cheat.

I am not really concerned about the causes so I am sorry I won't be arguing with you on that. I am more interested in the reality which affirms that women cheat and this include those women married to richer and sometimes young men.

AreaFada2:
You mentioned Nigerian women especially cheating and I mentioned to you that Nigeria is a conservative society before I talked about infidelity being more common among the poorer and less educated 9ja women as you already alluded to.

Conservative society means that the social consequences of adultery are severe. If poverty was less, our conservative nature means far fewer women would take that risk.

How many bank workers or telco workers are caught snatching cellphones or wallets from commuters at Mushin or Oshodi? Virtually none. Poverty has social consequences across the board.

To begin with, when chosing a partner, a Nigerian female bank manager is already more selective than a lady selling corn by the roadside. Because the corn seller needs every economic help she can get, the bank manager far less so.

Now regarding non-African women like the Swedes, dutch or Canadians, would you say they live in conservative societies like 9ja?

Even if they cheat and divorce , they will still get child support, alimony and other social safety net provisions from the state if needs be.

I don't see anyone complaining about these scenarios. Besides, it is more about seeing things that need to be done but chose not to do it because I am a man. However in a situation where the woman demads help but the man chose not to help because it is not a chore for a man is disturbing.

A man whose wife comes home late but still expected her prepare a meal for dinner is not ideal. If he decides not to do it because it is not man like then we have a problem.

raumdeuter:
Its a common saying that women dont joke with money things

While she is cooking maybe the husband is working on kids homework or just keeping them busy, How would life be for her if she doesnt have that person to take care of that? WHat you would hear is I cook and he does nothing

You buy grocery, husband offloads it how easy would it be if you have to do everything? I buy grocery and do nothing.

Cutting your lawn nko? Home owners association would give you a ticket. A woman whose husband worked out of the country and she had to cut the lawn or pay $100 to Mexicans every week knows how much she would have been saving

WOuld the womans or mans life be easier if they stayed alone?

Its when it comes to women spending their money that we hear these long stories but when we decide to break it down to the basics we still see women are the ones who are the net takers even in money

Ask in any relationship bf/gf husband/wife how much gift has the female given compared to what she has received

A woman establishing her husband is very wrong. It is against natural order. I don't care about the number of ways even it is by feeding him her own money.


There is nothing wrong with your mentality but be ready to fufil your financial role 100%. Do not expect her not to nag you when you can't provide for her. In fact she is right to withhold her own side of her responsibilities if you can't fulfil yours. After all you are the head, it is abhorrent to act like the tail.

Acidosis:
Yes

Meanwhile, a woman establishing her man can be done in many ways. Personally, I don't think I would be comfortable to beg my wife for money. The best I could do is to "borrow", and make a refund with interest.

At the end of the day, her husband will expect her to direct and manage those numerous helps, to ensure that the kid is fed and so on and so forth.

Their lifestyle is the exception. Let's talk about the average homes, the people around you.

raumdeuter:
In an unrelated news, I just heard on TV that Janet Jackson is 50 today and pregnant for her wealthy younger Arab husband

probably doesn't have 6packs nor a sexy shirtless body, but has money loads of it

She probably isn't complaining of her too many house helps who ensure she doesnt touch any domestic work, and wouldnt be complaining that its the husband that pays the bulk of the bills

It seems like we are saying the same thing.

EgunMogaji:
Trust me on this, I have nothing to fear.

Women desire women, women desire men.

Nothing new under the sun.

Didn't TJ just tell the whole world that his wife and mother of his child polished about 5 or so men?

All your Nollywood yeyebrities that has turned husband snatching into a sport nko?


Puleeezeee

I disagree.

I am not saying women should say no to me who cheat. Wetin be my own? There is nothing wrong in that arrangement. If I find Nestle with a man who intends to marry another wife, na to leave or create a proper contractual arrangement. I can never give my all to such a man.

However I won't allow a woman to advice others to suck it up nor would I allow a woman to advice others to just leave except of course it is affecting her health.

joseph1832:
Na lie! That is the definition of a woman who knows what she wants, and its prepared to look the other way, in other to get it.

Live is not diamonds and pearls, you know.

Why are you so scared? You think women do not desire other men?

EgunMogaji:
I'll rather not

Then the question is, is 13m too much for 5 economy seats to China with accommodation, food and transport?

bishopkay:
Public officials have been banned from using business class when on assignments. But if Lai still wanted to flout it, a business class seat to china costs between 600k to 800k depending on airline.

Lai is a thief and should be on the gallows...

I don't think it is odd. I will find it hard to think that a minister or senior level officer can withdraw funds just like that. There should be a process in place. Is this the process in place? If yes, I don't see the big deal.

freeze001:
daretodiffer...I think the major issue is the minister requesting money or a 'loan' from an organisation within the ministry and overseen by he Minister. It's quite odd...

Refer to my number two

EgunMogaji:
Ah yes, here comes religion, what took you so long

What if they are traditionalists?

Definition of poverty mentality and low self esteem

rheether:
You see husband and you're complaining. Babe go ahead and marry him jhoor. He will still cheat on you anyway so it's a no win situation.

1) if he is a Christian, he is committing a sin
2) If he isn't, he is a hypocrite if he finds it hard to allow another person warms her bed.

Taiwo20:
The other lady is just warning his bed....that doesn't mean he doesn't love his girl or won't marry her....give him time,he would change

I don't think 13m is enough to sponsor a conference of 5-man delegation to China. How much is one business class seat to China?
What about Accommodation and Food?

Unless we are taking about economy class, I don't see how it is enough for the trip. Therefore we should be looking at the size of the delegation and whether or not the trip is beneficial to our nation

My two cents

I was expecting you to say something about educated vs uneducated women. It is an observation, it doesn't mean it is true. My observation was based on the fact that it is easier to find an uneducated woman with more than one husband than an educated one. Therefore saying women's infidelity is in return for a those kinda of favours is extremely flawed. And If I were to agree with you, would you mind telling me were why non-African women cheat?

AreaFada2:
Dude, we're advising a lady whose fiance cheats. Nobody has said some ladies don't cheat.

Remember that in a conservative society like 9ja, women cheating is mostly linked to poverty. And an educated woman is more likely to have a better job and earn more money than the uneducsted. The educated lady is also more likely to marry a better earner too.

On the average I mean, female unfidelity is for some pecuniary benefit: employment/promotion, money, grades, gifts, all paid trips, etc.

So Another human being should become a back up and a second fiddle? How would it feel if another human turned you to an emergency solution?

Taiwo20:
Because say I wan sign for Eyimba FC doesn't mean that I can play for Lobi Star FC as a charity match....

As long as I know my home is still and will remain Aba.

You are a very good pyschic




You should know.

EgunMogaji:
I can spot kids from dysfunctional families a mile away

When you get the courage to type it do so, I don't okay guessing games. You see I'm a grown up and not a snort nosed runt.

The rule of the game is men can cheat because it is normal and women can cheat but they must not get caught


I don't have a problem with cheating. What's my own? It is zina in Islam but my problem is when people appriase a man who cheats but ridicule a woman who does the same. If I were to agree that it ia normal for men to cheat, why then do we have women that cheat? Is there something wrong with them or what? What is the difference between a man who has the emotional need of relieving himself with another woman and a woman who thinks her lover is better at sex than her husband?



Let's continue to encourage infidelity on the part of men but don't remember to wake me up when you find your wife grinding another man.....that is a big if because women are more discreet at it than men.

Women with self sufficient and gentle husbands do not cheat at all abi

You know the funniest thing about this. Women tend to stick to just one extra marital partner while men might have a couple of them. It still doesn't change the fact that most women also cheat especaillw in Nigeria. I am not even talking about educated women, in fact it seems like uneducated women are more willing to try other men than educated ones.

AreaFada2:
I'm a guy that finds cheating too stressful, too expensive, time-consuming and of no point since if you switch the light off, no difference between women. Just pick one.

But after seeing the most gentle guys with the most amazingly nice and pretty wives still cheat on their wives, I gave up. I concluded that the vast majority of men are polygamous by nature. But when you say so, the ladies here want to skin you alive. Truth is hard to say these days.

Single mother it is

I am curious, is this what made you uhmmmmm? What is that word again? You should know what I am talking about

EgunMogaji:
And I'll be here to repel you if I have your time and if you make a coherent and lucid post.

Youth is not an excuse to be a lap dog. I have not noticed you at all as you're a non entity but I can quickly ascertain that you're raised by a single mother

Continue na but I noticed that you are so embittered about women.

BTW, Age is not a reason to be a hypocrite. I am not going to watch you while you act like one. I will attack you if and when I have your time.

EgunMogaji:
I'm neither your mate nor your errand boy so you don't get to answer to you.

You will surfer the consequences of your actions.

What I defend is my responsibility, grow a pair and own yours.

Why does iya basira keep entering iya sule's room when she is not around? Do you know why?

Oops! Women also cheat. Keep defending infidelity. We will all suffer the consequences

EgunMogaji:
Any Nigerian husband in Nigeria will sleep with many women in the course of a marriage.

If you can't deal with that then stay single.

Who do you think is maintaining all those runs girls? The jobless single youths?

You are right. What about women that cheat? Oops! They must be aliens!

mkpikpub:
Stop going through his phones. You are hurting yourself. Every man does it

You are right. It is in their DNA. Most women don't cheat at all. It is only a negligible few do. And the ones that do must be aliens

*sarcasm*

In fact, the penalties women face for cheating are SO LAX that you can't but agree that because it is impossible for women to cheat, it is no bother to crucify them when they do.

You are not smart. No offence

queenoflafia:
Don't cancel your wedding plans pls.there is no perfect man and neither is there a perfect woman.just talk to him and let him know how what he is doing is affecting u.
The other day I saw it was in their DNA,they called for my head

Where is your proof?

Firefire:
The attacks have driven Nigerian oil output to near a 22-year low and, if the violence escalates into another insurgency, it could cripple output in a country facing a growing economic crisis.




Northerners hold 83% of the oil blocks, why


Buhary...