₦airaland Forum

Behira:
Funny but i forgot to laff

but u de smile as u this huh?

SirLegal:

.
.

.
.
NOT FUNNY.

taa, u laugh, if not change d subject to akpos and laugh go wan kill you..

By divine grace of God, I have the privilege of revelation and interpretation of the word through the help of the Holy Ghost.


By this I know that we as Christians have prayed many prayers in error which are directly or indirectly affecting or have affected us negatively. The new latest fashion of prayers that is now ruling the churches sincerely have hindered us.


I quiet accept that in some occasions judgement of God comes upon the wicked which usually result result to death especially the wicked and unrepentant ones. But believe me that some enemies must not die because they are like catalyst and must play a major role to the fulfillment of your destiny.
They are in some cases like the vehicle that drives us to our destination. See what I mean, some people were driven to the church due to the operation of the wicked. Joseph was only able to fulfill his dream and destiny because his brothers hated him. If they had loved him, he would have been a spoil or if care is not taken useless child that would have posed as a trouble for his family.


The hate became important for him to succeed. I think am also talking from experience. People like me before now who do not see reason to waste time in church service and would always come to church 35minutes to the end of service in every service from year to year and finds it difficult to drop offerings in the church but waste a lot of money outside on irrelevant things and 90% of the time do not know the topic of the day nor understand anything at all because my mind was never there and funny enough sometimes stay at home on Sunday morning to dace Michael Jackson music with my children but when occult and witch craft kingdom loosed hell against me and I came one on one with what I call indescribable attack and molestation from the dark kingdom and it got to a point I began to listen by force and that case kept me permanently in the presence of God and turned me into a prayer machine that I can go on vigil uninterrupted for one year, yes I mean one year and I have done that now for at least eight years. The devil meant it for evil but the Lord reversed it as a stepping stone for my ministry and the kind of cases I handle. If not the attack of the enemy, may be I would have become more irresponsible or may have even died. Imagined if the such enemies have died earlier, the kind of ministry that I have today would not have been birthed.


If Joseph brothers knew they were only facilitating Joseph's dream, they would not have sold him. If the devil knew they were only preparing me to become a torment in their flesh, they would have left me alone to continue with my Michael Jackson, Sakis and Kofi Olomide song and dancing on a Sunday morning. Just like satan wouldn't have killed Jesus if he knew that through HIS death our sins will be forgiven.


The oppression of some enemies gives you the opportunity seek God and find HIM and when you do, HE does not just solve your problem but rather you also become a problem solver.


I ministered in a conference and when I was done the organizers had to change the theme of the program and even their written down prayer points..Have you asked yourself why some people have prayed for a long time for certain enemies to die and they are not dying but instead keep waxing strong, the answer is simply, the LORD is not done yet with the assignment and preparation HE is using them for in your life. THINK AND PRAY WISELY.


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Bb

I cant stop laffin...
A girl in her sleep was dreaming. She dreamt dat she was engaged,
still in her sleep,she was getin
married to d same lucky man. After d wedding,she became pregnant and was rushed 2 d delivery room and d nurse ask her 2 push. She pushed and delivered a baby but d nurse told her it was still remaining,she pushd and delivered d second baby, and she was told it was still remaining anoda baby. As she was trying to push d third baby out,her room mate shouted juliana
wakeup!...U don shit for bed.
I know u are lafin now,
don't be selfish pass it
to ur friends.

missbronzy:
When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.

Lol. . U make sense OOOOO sister. .

Don't know why, can't tell the reason why. .





But peoples shouts to the top of their voice while quarreling..




Do they think their quarrel mates are deaf? ?


What do you think? ?

Russell145:
This is a nice idea bro. Please hw do u get the maggots in large quantities. Do u just start picking them from the poultry waste one by one or is there a sort of system that you use. I will gladly be grateful on ur explanation or if you can show hw you collect them with pix will be very helpful. God bless you.

OK I will bro next time I harvest and am going to tag you

Dem don born us for Naija..




We no dey run and we no go run

So this guy mean am??



OK OOOOO, I don dey fear him b that.. .





Who knows if he's gonna turn to BH or join IsIs





God forbid.


I wish you well brother Emma

MaxNaija:
[img]http://1.bp..com/-oEvptluFlLc/Val6vir0beI/AAAAAAAACjw/3Nrc5PPbxLw/s400/yahoo.jpg[/img]

Over the years, Nigeria topped the chart for internet fraud. In Nigeria these internet fraudsters are tagged as "Yahoo Guys". After cajoling their way to get thousands/millions of dollars from gullible individuals, they in turn spend this stolen money on cars and women. They are known to be very extravagant. But even with the illegal act these guys engage in, its not surprising they are always surrounded with different kind of ladies. And some ladies also prefer to date these fraudsters even when they are well aware of the illegal act they engage in.


MaxNaija.com will be showing you 5 Reasons Why Girls Prefer to date Yahoo Guys

1. Extravagant Spending : Money earned from defrauding others is more like free money, hence no proper planning on how to spend it. They sit inside their room (hideout) for few days/weeks and then just walk to the bank to withdraw money they didn't really work for. Well, most Nigerian girls don't care how the money is gotten, as long as the money is present and they get anything they request for. So when it's pay day for yahoo guys, girls are next.

2. Party & Clubbing : Most ladies love clubbing, although not all know how to dance. But they enjoy the fun and all. After a yahoo guy gets his pay, its party time. Since ladies are aware of this, they don't miss the chance to go out and have all the fun. A yahoo will spend some chunk of his money to celebrate like he just won the presidential election.

3. Romance : Every lady loves a man who can show her romance, yahoo guys are sweet talkers, they've got that sugar-coated tongue, little wonder they know how to talk their way to defrauding individuals. If a yahoo guy can sweet talk a 70 year old to sending him money with fake promises of marriage. They are players, they know to sweet talk a lady and get her. Ladies love sweet words, hence they love yahoo guys.

A yahoo guy always have time for his lady, when a he isn't glued to his computer, he is with his girl. Every lady loves a who can satisfy her when her libido is high. An idle yahoo is always there to give her the s3x when she wants it.

4. Show Off : Ladies love to have a guy they can proudly introduce to their friends, a guy with the car and all the swag. They love to be tagged as the girl dating the big boy. With all the cars, gadgets a yahoo guy possesses, ladies want to hangout with them. Moving with friends in their fleet of cars (Probably Another Camry), you find a lady next to him in the front seat saying 'hi's' and 'hello' to any of her friends who crosses her path.

5. Believing There Is Room For Change : Ladies think they can convince a bad guy to change when they go into a relationship, even when clearly they are not Buhari. When ladies go into a relationship with a yahoo with the hope of changing him, they should also know they are trying to restrict their source of income in the process. When it becomes difficult for a lady to change a yahoo guy, they become stuck in the relationship.

Conclusion: Although the rate of fraudsters has dropped significantly in recent years, due to the strict punishment attached to internet fraud. Some guys still carefully carry out this illicit act. It's not advisable to date a fraudster, because often times even the benefactor becomes the accomplice.

Copyright 2015 Maxnaija. Permission to use quotations from this article is granted subject to appropriate credit being given to www.MaxNaija.com as the source.

http://www.maxnaija.com/2015/07/5-reasons-why-nigerian-girls-date-yahoo.html

kai

MaxNaija:
[img]http://1.bp..com/-oEvptluFlLc/Val6vir0beI/AAAAAAAACjw/3Nrc5PPbxLw/s400/yahoo.jpg[/img]

Over the years, Nigeria topped the chart for internet fraud. In Nigeria these internet fraudsters are tagged as "Yahoo Guys". After cajoling their way to get thousands/millions of dollars from gullible individuals, they in turn spend this stolen money on cars and women. They are known to be very extravagant. But even with the illegal act these guys engage in, its not surprising they are always surrounded with different kind of ladies. And some ladies also prefer to date these fraudsters even when they are well aware of the illegal act they engage in.


MaxNaija.com will be showing you 5 Reasons Why Girls Prefer to date Yahoo Guys

1. Extravagant Spending : Money earned from defrauding others is more like free money, hence no proper planning on how to spend it. They sit inside their room (hideout) for few days/weeks and then just walk to the bank to withdraw money they didn't really work for. Well, most Nigerian girls don't care how the money is gotten, as long as the money is present and they get anything they request for. So when it's pay day for yahoo guys, girls are next.

2. Party & Clubbing : Most ladies love clubbing, although not all know how to dance. But they enjoy the fun and all. After a yahoo guy gets his pay, its party time. Since ladies are aware of this, they don't miss the chance to go out and have all the fun. A yahoo will spend some chunk of his money to celebrate like he just won the presidential election.

3. Romance : Every lady loves a man who can show her romance, yahoo guys are sweet talkers, they've got that sugar-coated tongue, little wonder they know how to talk their way to defrauding individuals. If a yahoo guy can sweet talk a 70 year old to sending him money with fake promises of marriage. They are players, they know to sweet talk a lady and get her. Ladies love sweet words, hence they love yahoo guys.

A yahoo guy always have time for his lady, when a he isn't glued to his computer, he is with his girl. Every lady loves a who can satisfy her when her libido is high. An idle yahoo is always there to give her the s3x when she wants it.

4. Show Off : Ladies love to have a guy they can proudly introduce to their friends, a guy with the car and all the swag. They love to be tagged as the girl dating the big boy. With all the cars, gadgets a yahoo guy possesses, ladies want to hangout with them. Moving with friends in their fleet of cars (Probably Another Camry), you find a lady next to him in the front seat saying 'hi's' and 'hello' to any of her friends who crosses her path.

5. Believing There Is Room For Change : Ladies think they can convince a bad guy to change when they go into a relationship, even when clearly they are not Buhari. When ladies go into a relationship with a yahoo with the hope of changing him, they should also know they are trying to restrict their source of income in the process. When it becomes difficult for a lady to change a yahoo guy, they become stuck in the relationship.

Conclusion: Although the rate of fraudsters has dropped significantly in recent years, due to the strict punishment attached to internet fraud. Some guys still carefully carry out this illicit act. It's not advisable to date a fraudster, because often times even the benefactor becomes the accomplice.

Copyright 2015 Maxnaija. Permission to use quotations from this article is granted subject to appropriate credit being given to www.MaxNaija.com as the source.

http://www.maxnaija.com/2015/07/5-reasons-why-nigerian-girls-date-yahoo.html

6. KIRIKIRI ;this one has no little interpretation anyway. ..




Na your body go tell you.

Rilwayne001:
God save you say am not a mod. Na 50weeks ban you for chop..

That's what you think, but I'm still right. .

Andrew114:
if they is any madness,it should be frm the op

think twice man




I no dey chop kpomo but go go use teeth share am for my grand pikin dem. .

Drhenrysaint:
Op@ re u owk?
Atleast her daura cow milk industry is covered, even her pampers region z covered too

bad guy. .





Yes I'm OK with little malaria. .. I'm treating it.

gayman99:
It all depends on the fertility status of your soil. Generally, most soils in Nigeria are low in nitrogen because of low organic content. So I will recommend the use of 15:15:15 NPK

thanks bro

kennboiy:
21. Don't maga those you don't love.(to the ladies)

ew!!

Vanquay:

boombay:

:

They wear hijab to look decent but wears trousers to show off their butt thereby becoming "a hottie"



Which level of madness is this?

20 Things to Start Doing.
1. Free yourself from negative people.
2. Let go of those who are already gone.
3. Give people you don't know a fair chance.
4. Show everyone kindness and respect.
5. Accept people just they way they are.
6. Encourage others and cheer for them.
7. Be your imperfectly perfect self.
8. Forgive people and move forward.
9. Do little things every day for others.
10. Always be loyal.
11. Say in better touch with people who matter to you.
12. Keep your promises and tell the truth.
13. Give what you want to receive.
14. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
15. Allow others to make their own decisions.
16. Talk a little less, and listen more.
17. Leave petty arguments alone.
18. Pay attention to your relationship with yourself.
19. Pay attention to who your real friends are.
20. Ignore unconstructive, hurtful commentary.
Pick at least one of these to focus on TODAY, lets start making a change not just reading about change. Then TAG your friends and challenge them to also make a change today.





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sheyi86:
it is egusi i'm refering to.thanks

Wow, u can buy buy the seed from any market around you..

sheyi86:
pls i'm frm ekiti state pls hw can i get melon to plant.thanks

watermelon see or egusi *Melon seed?

mployer:
Lies
Lies
Lies

Op it will not be well with you for posting fake information and causing unnecessary tension.

back to sender

I need to know the best fertilizer for egusi plant


Any idea from experienced farmer??

jcmaiah:
Daniel if you will fly the biafran flag u r welcome. However, we are not afraid of the north. Any day bokoharam bomb us all of us will enter the street and kill them all. There is anger in our heart, the blood of our people calls for revenge and we can only leave that revenge if we are let to go in Peace.

Nwa Abakaliki===Nwa Biafra

Onijagidijagan:
Onijagidijagan

Why?? ?

****This is inside information and must be taken very serious****

SOUTHEAST SHOULD BE CAREFUL!

I am a soldier, I will not give my name for the sake of my life . my message is simple, I can'tstop myself from letting people understand the danger they are in,in Nigeria (especially those inthe southeast),after my fellow soldiers here in southern Kaduna, Kaduna state, yesterday being Sunday 08 march,invaded a church and killed innocent Christian youths guarding their church against suicide bombers from gaining access into the church compound during their church service.

My conscience keeps judging me for not letting people know what I know. I am a christianbut here in the military camp, I dare not let them know about this or I will be on the next troopheading to confront Boko Haram without enoughrains of ammunition to fight them and certainly will get killed, most of our men deployed tofight Boko Haram are christian soldiers from the eastern and southeastern part of the country ,I cry inside me each time they leave the camp to confront Boko Haram as most of them don't make it back alive and nobody cares to retrievetheir body from Boko Haram. messages are set to their families back in the far eastern part of the country that they killed in a car accident andI wonder why their families don't demand for the bodies of their children they claim whereinvolved in a car accident ,what a pity.

The reason why I want people to know this ,is notbecause of all that had happened to Christiansall over this country but because of the things they are going to face very soon , I must confessthat Christians don't respond to dangers approaching them until they all die , they think that God will come down from heaven to defend their life instantly but that is not true because Iam a christian also ,from kano state.

Nobody suspect that I am a christian because I am fromthe North and they think that all Northerners are Muslim but that is not true .The message is thatBoko Haram men are all over Nigeria now believe it or not, Boko Haram has also joinedISIS (Islamic State) in the Arab world and I don't know if the christian people understand what that means.

150 women recently have been beheaded by ISIS and most of the women where discovered to be pregnant women ,Boko Haram is expected to carry out the same thing since they have pledged allegiance to ISIS, this is just an introduction ,the main message is that 6 years ago , Boko Haram young members joined the Nigeria Defence Academy like ordinary citizens showing interest to gain admission ,join any of the arm force for the defense of theNation but that was not the reason ,60% of themgained admission and graduated.

Recently , that group have been deployed to the eastern part ofthe country along with few genuine soldiers, their mission is simple and they will carry it out once the order comes. many people may see them as ordinary soldiers but the truth is that 90% of the soldiers in every checkpoint and camps in the eastern part of the country areBoko Haram members in army uniforms ,they are soldiers but their mission is different from others. please my christian brothers be wise.

you may be wondering how I got this information, remember I am from the North , the northerners are not considered Christians here even when some of us are.It will interest you to know that many of our soldiers here are working for BokoHaram , not because they like them but because of the money they are been paid by the BokoHaram for every information and attacks the soldier themselves carry against Christians andthe Government cannot provide the soldiers with such money.

Do not see all Northerners as bad people, some of us are good but it is very difficult to tell so I don't blame anyone that think that we are all the same . For me I know that I will die because the Boko Haram are getting more help and resources than we the soldiers.

Please help me to save people that I can not save as soldier by spreading this messagetosave livesk especially those in the southeast before the order gets to Boko Haram soldiersthere . I will be happy in heaven for your good.




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hotmas911:
Hi sir, we don't have in Uyo yet but we have in Ogbomoso Oyo state. You can get as much land as you want here at a reasonable price.

renting or buying? ?

Ur mu² level no get part 2 oooo.. U be novice b that ooooooooooooooo. . Nairaland is not where you can scam people.. . Tough zone keep off!!!

CUMPOLICE01:
deaf and dumb are d ones who use signs, and they can write coz they aint blind......... And d blind wud use his hand to trace d words... Blinds have a special slate for writing

wahala still dey b that

kliq:
That's the teaser or maybe the dumb man should just mind his business

Lol