₦airaland Forum

Prophet denrele Joseph lol

Short kini, chidinma rocks short hair well and wierd mc well no comments, I'd rather go for linda ikeji though. ...summary short ain't my thing I can only appreciate ladies with it and follow gals with long hair. I need something to play with biko.

Going by their analogy of 7 virgins each,there'll be scarcity of virgins in heaven this weekend o lol. ....see as young men dey waste their lives like soldier ants smh

Damn this is a really nice ride mehnnnn

Gbawe2: How about showing class by giving others the benefit of the doubt when you have nothing tangible to back your suspicion? The man says he is well and you are insisting he is denying being sick when you do not have access to his medical records or anything else that supports your opinion. Why not just accept what has come from the Horses mouth and leave it at that ?

Same way every one accepted what came from the horses mouth concerning oritsejafor and the jet. ...abegi it's Nigeria, every one has freedom of thinking and expression.

Hahaha tinubu went to learn chisosssss Nigerians won't kee me, what is he learning abeg?politics or insurgency? Smh. .....

May the Lord uphold you in this trying times and grant the departed his peace and mercy.

Empiree: So sad you christian folks feel so unsecured. I can see your deceptive defenses in your posts after you have being gradually exposed. Cant you be objective for a second?. Let's just assume this incident happened to involve a Muslim leader, 2 Nigerian Muslim men and a Saudi or Iranian man. What exactly you Christians would say?. Pls I want to hear?. You dont even see anything wrong with a leader of entire Nigerian Christians' jet smuggling $9.3m?. Not even a crime? haba! All you people could do is bring unnecessary and unrelated defenses or excuses to play down your evil?.

Muslims dont even accuse all Christians in this case. If Nigeria has a genuine justice system, Mr. Ayo should be under heavy investigation and interrogation by now. The 3 culprits should be under arrest by now with enhanced interrogation. And Israel should be questioning her lone citizen in this case. This is how it should be NOT rubbish defenses you guys putting up there. Clearly, you Nigerians dont want a developed Nigeria. You are covering up for suspected fraudsters, money launderer, potential crime for terrorism. You dont even consider all these rather you backing up this man just for being Christian.

Allah said in the Qur'an that (rough interpretation) "Allah(God) does not change condition of a people unless people change what is in themselves".In other word, you screaming about govt this, govt that and yet you defending suspected criminal who called himself pastor and leader of Christian Association of Nigeria. Definitely, you folks should not expect God's mercy.

There were two aircrafts involved, who owns the other one? If you can answer this then we can talk.if not you are just another dude blinded by religion

Degis: Where are all those Christians saying rubbish against Pastor Ayo, who is not even directly involved in this scandal, your Muslim brothers have heard how you have rubbished a Man who is innocent of what he is being accused of and have escalated the story. Thank you for your stuvpidity.

By the time Nigeria is turned to Turkey where Islam is turned to a majority religion with Christianity taking up 0.09%, you will realise that you idiats have contributed by your useless and dumbed Brian comments

Thank you, finally someone with sense. Christians don't protect their own in this country, I weep for our future

Unibenstudent: No country has its country so marginalized than ours,northerners get oil money but dont use it to develop anything,south get oil money but stores it in the eventuality of a full blown war,

I tell you, Nigeria has a big problem.it's frustrating and we all claim to be learned and carry degrees around

[quote author=Degis]Where are all those Christians saying rubbish against Pastor Ayo, who is not even directly involved in this scandal, your Muslim brothers have heard how you have rubbished a Man who is innocent of what he is being accused of and have escalated the story. Thank you for your stuvpidity.

By the time Nigeria is turned to Turkey where Islam is turned to a majority religion with Christianity taking up 0.09%, you will realise that you idiats have contributed by your useless and dumbed Brian comments[/quote
Thank you, finally someone with sense. Christians don't protect their own in this country, I weep for our future]

Thanks for a wonderful piece but people still blinded by religious hate won't think straight. They just want ayo to officially named bh sponsor

Tnk you for this analysis, Nigerians are just annoying me with the comments on the situation, do you know how much parking spaces costs at the airports, maintenance and all that or they think an aircraft is like a car?smh for educated illiterates. ....what most private jet owners do is lease them out to make money for maintenance and parking space.some rich people even buy bigger aircrafts and give to airlines to fly and give them the profits, why are they not arrested when drug carriers are found on board? We need to grow up in this country especially those turning this into religious war. Questions we should be asking are where is the money from? Does it have a trace? Who signed it out?what is it for?for which security agency?

Topics like this shows how short minded people can be,ranking of tribes in Nigeria, smh and what do you wanna achieve with this?harmony or discord? I don't care about any tribe,I'm a Nigerian.

Nigeria is already divided along religious and tribal lines, religious majorly, the hate between Christians and muslims now is just unimaginable. Jeez I don't see how Nigerians can keep tolerating themselves for long anymore. ....I'm no prophet of doom but when people start backing themselves cos of religion other than facts then this country has a big problem. I just pray I won't witness the day this country breaks apart. Nairaland can ban me again for saying the truth, but I love this country cos I've got no other one and it's hurts to see people have real wars online cos of religion forgetting we are all Nigerians first.

Mehn these punchlines bad gan o modo baba. ....I'm so underground crude oil leaks from my ceiling jeez. Nigeria just doesn't appreciate his kinda rap it's a pity.

End time things, who do we believe and follow if not Jesus ,we can only help our pastors by praying for them o.

I cried o,forget say I be guy. ....but this is a story of someone getting in trouble cos of doing her job ,I'm so happy for you wherever you are.God is alive

Zehner: Which kain Rubbish be all dis one na! If some one is picking me up and dere is already some one at d front seat I automatically go to the back. Weather I am Gf or sister or wife or whateva title I hold. Kai dis ur Gf is really dumb *smh

Babe don vex o lol

Hahahahhahah unless ponmo starts spreading Ebola, it must be involved in my efo riro to accompany my pounded yam to the permanent site. That one fg is saying Na wash

icekidgodfrey: Real hilarious man!! Sometimes I wish I could revisit my childhood, be a guest and actually watch the younger me do all them crazy thang!!!
*I never really liked wearing my shirt, they either hung from my shoulder or was stylishly folded around my neck & head.
*I'd hang out with some group of hard-headed boys like myself. It was like a gang, we go around committing little neighbourhood crimes; broke people's glass windows, took off the bulb in people's bicycle to construct our own lights, lol. Riding spoiled bicycles down a hill was our hobby; nobody cared how dangerous it was.
*I preferred throwing stones at unripe mangos, to eating cooked food at home.
*Hunted and killed lizards just for fun! Lol
*Never got home directly from school, I'd hang around & mob the neighbourhood with my 'gang', committing all sorts of little crimes.
*Played football in the beside people's windows, and there's this wicked 'auntie' in every neighbourhood that like seizing balls, and I can't forget how hilarious we sounded everytime we try to beg for our ball. Sometimes when we don't get it back; we throw stones & cursed at her.
*Whoever lived in a storey-building 'had money'
*We would peep through neighbours' windows to watch films. We always got chased away, but we wouldn't go away. They most times results to measures like pouring water, sand, saliva on us just to drive us away.
*Cashew nuts, rubber bands had the same value as cocaine.
*Sitting boy-girl-boy-girl in school was the biggest punishment!...
Oh lawwd I could go on forever!! All the 'isi-okpukpu' boys can relate, lol. 90sbabies re d best generation!! I miss my childhood, I really do!!

Boy and gal Lolz I tell you, we ruled a line o, shared portions if she dare cross she don die

It wasn't funny sha I was tryna fix the water heater in the bathroom with a friend and we both got electrocuted lol see shout and run Lolz,the other time I inserted nail inside extension box hmmmm funny memories,you know the way guys rode metal step hand rails from top to buttom, I tried it with concrete rails see as my belle tear jeez.....

I'll always say it cultism doesn't pay, it'll always come back to haunt you. Not saying the victims were cultists, but will cultists kill innocent civilians?

My damn brothers of the north..... all this things goodlook are do,goodluck are going to do and goodluck will be does lol.

Album art is on point buh mehn ain't expecting much

These days on Nigerian television stations you can hardly miss or ignore the hottest celebrity/comedian in Nigeria.I grew up watching some of his tv shows though I didn't know the name, he's being around in the game for soooo long I think our comedians need to learn from him. No matter how many times I watch TAN adverts, AMARTEM, or his other adverts i never get tired. His spoken English is sooo hilarious and he does it with so much professionalism you can't help but get addicted. I'm speaking of no other person but chief zebruddaya the old man that makes the country smile everyday.
Plz share some of his hilarious sentences below if you have anything special favorite

OLAADEGBU: Question: "How did the things Jesus said and did when He was alone get recorded in the Gospels?"

Answer: There are a number of times in the Gospels when Jesus’ words are quoted or His actions are described during times that He was alone. For example, when Jesus was in the desert for forty days (Matthew 4) or praying in the Garden at Gethsemane (Mark 14), He was by Himself. How did anyone know what He said or did, since there were no eyewitnesses to what happened?

The Gospel narratives were not written at the time the events happened, like some kind of daily journal entry; rather, they were put together later, like most historical narratives, based on memory, research, and compilation. Matthew and John were both eye witnesses to most of the events in their narratives. Mark and Luke had access to the eye witnesses. In fact, Luke mentions that he “carefully investigated everything from the beginning” before writing his Gospel (Luke 1:3). Very probably, Mark gleaned information for his Gospel from the apostle Peter (1 Peter 5:13). The other benefit the writers had—and this is a big one—is that they were inspired by the Holy Spirit (2 Timothy 3:16). In fact, Jesus had promised them that the Spirit would bring to their remembrance “everything I have said” (John 14:26).

Still, how did the disciples know what transpired when they were away from Jesus? One possible explanation is that the Holy Spirit told them what happened as they were writing their histories. Believing the Gospels to be inspired, we can easily accept that explanation.

Another explanation is simply that Jesus later told His disciples what they had missed. No disciple was present with Jesus during the wilderness temptation in Matthew 4, but, later, Jesus spent over three years with the disciples. Isn’t it likely that He related to them what had happened sometime during those three years? Similarly, Jesus was alone as He spoke to the woman at the well in John 4, yet their conversation is quoted at length. A common-sense explanation is that Jesus later filled His disciples in. Or perhaps John got the story from the woman, given the fact that the disciples stayed in her city for two days following her conversion (John 4:40).

After His resurrection, Jesus appeared to the disciples over a period of forty days "speaking to them about the kingdom of God" (Acts 1:3). In those forty days, Jesus would have had ample opportunity to inform the disciples of all the things that happened to Him when they were not around. In any case, the events of Jesus’ life that God wanted us to know—including events that occurred in solitude—were documented. The key is God wanted us to know. Either the events were disclosed directly to the disciples at a later time, by Jesus or by someone else, or the apostles learned the details straight from the Holy Spirit as they wrote God’s Word.


Read more: http://www.gotquestions.org/Jesus-alone.html#ixzz3CCgrpt7J

Like my pastor will always say only fools can follow God successfully. Intelligence has increased as the bible prophesied, now men wants to explain spiritual things with their earthly brain lol. You can ask Jesus when you get to heaven.if you keep asking questions like this, you'll soon ask who was with God during creation.

Nairaland guys be like chai all ladies don sleep self emaka pass my charger

Afritop: Believers Love World aka Christ Embassy Church is my favorite clan of all the Nigerian Christian blocs.
If you are no stranger to these Christians, you'll definitely agree that there is no funeral spirit around these guys. They are just one hell of a sui generis in the sky-daddy bandwagon.
Attend one of their services, I assure you there is no house of bedlam like the Christ Embassy Church service. I call it a beautiful absurdity; an orgasmic show of religious fascism at its best.
Nobody, I say it again: Nobody does the mental fascism thing better than the Christ Embassy bunch. It is so enviable that I had to dedicate my biro to this.

First of all, a moment of silence for a Christ embassy brother somewhere, applying gel and hair relaxer on his head. Right now as you read this, an adult male somewhere is partaking in some form of fascist cosmetics in order to come close in appearance to his venerated Pastor Chris Onyakhilome; their idol of a general overseer. I heard if you are an adult male in the crew and you haven't applied some gel and hair relaxer, then you are a novice. The sisters, droll for the brother who speaks, looks and act Pastor Chris.

To the fellas: Is there any Christ Embassy female you are wooing and she is not giving in? Now, take my generous advice to the casino:

Go get your hair some laxative product, practice some Pastor Chris accent and then memorize his fuzzy lines. Get a clean white suit. Learn to technically use words like "Zoe", "Rhapsody", "Grace", "Different", etc. Most importantly, spew your garbage very beautifully; you know that soft-madness they call "speaking-in-tongues"? Get it right.

So you walk-up to your "embassy" sister target with your curly hair, a Pastor Chris smile on a white suit and of course amble graciously like the venerated idol, and then begin with the Pastor Chris accent:

"Hey sister, you are the "Zoe" of the year, the prophecy of the century; the one who Isaiah spoke about. You are the Rhapsody of our time, for the Grace of your beauty shall make nations fall at thy feet. Because of the supernatural auction of the word on you, you shall suck the breast of Kings and become the envy of nations. All things are mine in the holy ghost; I speak you into my bedroom lapasantrakado! Pepelepekendato! Meme suntafantakando!" And boom! It is done. Lest I forget, be sure to have Pastor Chris' posters in your apartment, use it for your mobile wallpaper. Play Pastor Chris sermons and some Sinach's music in your car stereo. Be 100% "Christic" and I swear she'll be in between the sheets performing the holy ghost show.

Ever attended a Christ Embassy service and listen to their sermon? If the preacher is to preach for 60 minutes; 40 minutes of sermons goes this way: "Pastor Chris says....", "Pastor Chris once said...", "I remember when Pastor Chris talked about...", "I learned from pastor Chris that...." Etc. The remaining 20 minutes will be dedicated to motivational lines and rhetorics like "You are different!" "You are the salt of the earth", "where men fail, you shall succeed", "Let the world see the excellence in you", etc. And most importantly the organizational soft-madness called "Speaking-in-tongues", is never missing in action. Christ embassy has remixed their with version spices like "holy-ghost laughter", "Holy-ghost worship", etc. If you're bored on a sunday morning, just visit a branch and see the beauty of organizational mental fascism.

One thing that seduces me about them is their holy secularism. In this christian sect, there is little discrimination on the appearance of a person. Wear dreadlocks, tattoos, mini-skirts, low-waist jeans, sagging pants or even walk into their auditorium with a bikini, nobody cares. "To the pure, all things are pure", they say. Their open-arms to all is unequal; Pastor Chris is not a limited minded pastorpreneur. I am so inspired!

Yes, business man I say. Don't kill me dear pastor "Christists". Isn't the gospel a business? The biblical Jesus once called it "my father's business." Do not crucify my garrulous ass please. I know you all can catch a grenade for Pastor Chris and throw same for him. I pledge allegiance!

The Christ Embassy clan are the most intelligent and creative of all the Christian sects in Nigeria. An average Christ embassy churchgoer is more tolerant, open-minded and creative than their other sky-band counterparts in Nigeria. Put a Christ embassy member side by side with a TB Joshua patronizer or a Lazarus Mouka crew member, the mentality of the Christ Embassy fellow surpasses the rest. 

They have a way of making their "shit" sound intelligent by applying some fancy verbiages and pseudo-philosophical rhetoric to sound nice. But shit is shit no matter how hard you try to package it in a beautiful bag. Once you open it up, it still greets your nose with it's reputable reception.

http://saharareporters.com/2014/09/02/nigerian-churches-and-their-individual-madness-part-1-christ-embassy-church-imoh-david

You know as funny as this is I couldn't laugh, this imoh David will still claim Christianity as his religion o, educated illiterate. What's is wrong with we christians? Why we no just fit get sense for once? We go about castigating and ridiculing ourselves and can't be united for once. ....how many Muslims have you seen analyzing sects like this? Or you think they don't have different doctrines? Yet they are always united. Smh there'll be surprises in heaven.

Zehner: If they did a good job I will continue to see them as my parents....but curiosity will also lead me to finding out who my biological parents are. so sincerely......Life goes on.

I'm doing a good job,better keep seeing me as your father make all the money wey I don spend no enter bush bride price is around the corner