₦airaland Forum

I feel utterly irresponsible

The only thing in my head right now is to move. I already packed some things I trying to contact a friend I can stay with for now

Tritri:
@Deafndumb Congrat ooh..Will u Invite me?

Are you for real!!!

This issue is really killing me I sincerely don't have any idea how to go about it.

Financially it's impossible for me to handle this issue, let alone other segments of my life

x240:
Just take a break.


Don't run away. It would pass. Trust me. It might seem like eternity but truth is. This one shall also pass.


No need to start blaming yoursekf. This has occurred and you need to fix it. Work harder and stop the blame games. That's what men do.

A break as in change environment??

I just verified she's pregnant and not willing to abort

I just verified she's pregnant and not willing to abirt

Tritri:
Can you just take a break..i mean 2mth break from everyone?

I will need to resign from my current work place. Because it's not too far from my place and all parties involved knows the place.

2mths? I do not feel like ever coming back until after some years.

Lemme verify if she's truly pregnant or not

I don't know what to do, if she's truly pregnant. I mistakenly told her over the phone, that is she's truly pregnant I would opt for an abortion.
I was under immerse pressure.

I'm a big fool

I feel completely irresponsible, stupid and reckless

Girls can be so mean. I think she is doing this deliberately, just to punish me.

If she's truly pregnant what should I do. Because when she found out about the other girl she asked me a why I didn't opt for an abortion for the minor, I told her it's because of the gestation period, doctors advised against an abortion.

I guess she also wants her gestation to be unsafe for abortion.

I am in a big mess

Tritri:
@Deafndumb Seems you're below 25yrs..I told you handle everything to your parent..Let her send her needs to ur parent..Haabaa...I've been in your shoes last 2 yrs and at the end she was only pleading..Off ur phone for few days..stay off nairaland ...Evaluate everything...and make the right choice. I can guarantee U that only after delivery you might know the real father.

Thanks bro. Your advice is priceless. But I think I am in serious trouble. My fiancée informed me yesterday that she has missed her period(s). Initially I thought she was trying to play some pranks but she seems to be serious.

To worsen the issue, I called her after scolding her initially, to visit me so we could get to the hospital to verify but she vehemently refused to visit me. She said she would not visit nor go to any hospital. I think she wants to keep the baby if she's pregnant.

She threatened to inform the other girls parent. I sincerely have no idea what to do. The only idea in my head is to be on the move. I'm sure the minor's parent will cause trouble.

I'm almost finished.

Hernyolar:
Hmmmm.....beware soul brother....like I knew this was going to come up soon hence my previous comment....
Whatever the case might be, don't have sex with her, let her have the baby and you then decide..
Please I'm not saying you shouldn't care ooo but there should be check and balances too...someone very close to me has been in your shoes just that the lady in question wasn't a minor.

Then after her delivery, you can decide for yourself

Thanks a lot. I'll try to keep my distance

I am beginning to get confused emotionally. I can't distinguish whether it's pity I feel or I'm beginning to care.
I get concerned whenever she calls to complain. In short I visit her when ever she send a distress call.

hakeem4:
This is the true story

Around 8:00 am, some Hausa boys were listening to M.I's latest mixtape ( illegal music 3) . Then one Yoruba guy ( kunle ) came and shouted " olamide is better than m.i" . The one Hausa boy ( danjunma ) shouted " Kai!!!!! Whalai I dey craze ? " the Yoruba boy replied " abi ori iya e ti yii? " unknowingly for the Yoruba boy the Hausa guy understood Yoruba. The Hausa guy pulled out a dagger and stabbed kunle his left arm , instead of kunle to fight back or report to the police he broke bottle on his head and just started shouting and introducing himself " haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa emi kunle omo iya alamala, ti on gbe ni 19 onidisu road ishawo ikorodu " luckily for kunle some Yoruba boys came to his rescue

You must be insane to find this issue funny. I guess you are still a teenager

Tritri:
Not sure...but scan r not 100% correct...it changes ...

Thanks because this change is quite significant and it might offset some possibilities

Tritri:
@Deafndumb

Didnt u do scan at all before bringing this online?

Her family did. I just did mine when I took the girl in question for antenatal. Now there's about 1.5 weeks difference. That's y I asked how accurate are this scan results.

Is it possible for the scan results to have different results

How accurate are scan results. I'm having an issue with the scan she had when I took her for antenatal. This result could complicate things for me

bardella1:
jesuuu
U should be killed
U had sex with a minor
What were u thinking of
Have u not had sex in ur life
Why does it have to be with her
Dis will teach oda guys lessons
Nd to tink of it u even av a fiancee
Conji na bastard oh
U were swayed by her yansh and breast shey,,now carry d cross

Face it u won't die..u will only grow sense

Funny you

Hernyolar:
@op...Please do not get your emotions involved, they're only trying to play on your emotions..do your duties for the girl, give her money, follow her for ante natal classes if you can squeeze out the time.
But all those yeye 'I miss your presence' sms are just to play on your emotions.
Marriage goes beyond having a child together(That's if the child is yours)...but its good you've opened up to your dad.
best of luck

Thanks alot

raumdeuter:
Lock up

Thanks

yetseyi:
The mother is still angry (thats what I think)

Thanks

I really appreciate all comments and advice. I have been able to reach a favorable compromise and I thought things are going on smoothly that's why I have been quite for a while now.

The issue now is there are some complications on the path of her family. Her mother picks offense in anything I do or say. At every opportunity she gets crossed.

She keeps giving me conflicting instructions and I got tired and told her to do what she thinks is best for her daughter and in each case (because after all everything I have done was strictly her advice).

To cut stories short last week we agreed to start her Ante natal, at first she gave diverse opinions on the issue of which hospital to use. I offered to use the hospital I make use of, she kept giving diverse hospitals we could use, finally when I told her we would use anyone she wanted, she told me to use mine.

Similar issues kept happening until I got tired and told her just to tell me what she has decided rather than seek my opinion but she got angry, threatened me not to ever call her phone(before antenatal registration) and then walked me out of her home(when I brought the girl home after the antenatal *same day*).

I'm concerned about the adverse effectsof the events on the girls health, as this is my most important priority for now.

The advice I require right now is do I visit her or just lock up

Guitarlife:
defie... nice accronym by the way.

In case of any other guy in defies shoes either now or future.

Learn to always document things. I believe defie is a graduate and he forgot to simply record their conversations during the first confrontation of allegation of infidelity and the lady's guilt agreement.

Use ur fone to record the conversation and let her commit herself and agree she is not sure you are the owner of the pregnancy.

Finally what if that baby is ur child ?

See you just need to Be always harmed with a condom to avoid situations like these.

I also happen to have some funny ladies around me and they could be so desperate to get you in bed just to tie you down with pregnancy thats why a condom is a bachelors best friend.

Adios

Thanks alot

Carelessness

raumdeuter:
You wan dey top up the girl as she get belle?

.
Na who talk so

GodnGold:
That's a grown up.
Absolutely right!
How you feeling now?

Feeling quite relieved

Anugod:
Guy, obviously you have feelings for this babe. For you to even think of breaking up with your fiancée because her parents asked you to, and for you to be swayed by the affectionate messages she's sending you...
Sha take up your responsibility, marry her and forget the DNA test
After all, people do father other people's kids
You obviously are in love with this chick

She's like going Tru a lot. I'm trying to support her as things are really heating up in her family. She really needs someone to talk to and right now I seem to be all she's got (asides her family)

You may be right or I might just be feeling guilty and trying to be accountable for my actions or I might just be lost in pity for her situation.

I was told she cries when I fail to call her. Eventually when I do, she acts like she doesn't care

Her father doesnt respond to her greetings anymore and has been emphasizing the need for her to go stay with me. I guess he's still angry

The girl in question has been sending me messages that she wants me to support her Tru this and sending some funny msgs now like I miss ur presence

GodnGold:
Please rephrase that.
Have you informed your folks?
Dawg,do you need a slap on the nape to get you thinking smart?
Lawd!!!
Just let me know when you tell your folks,cos without your folks..boy,misery is your soul mate.

I have informed my father, he blamed me for not informing him before we went to meet the family of the girl.

He said we would have to wait for a perfect opportunity to bring up the matter in a technical way.

GodnGold:
Yo deafie,waddup?
What's the situation report from minor-baby-mama-drama-shinanigans?
Stay positive bro!

The family made my life miserable for asking the daughter who is responsible for the child. They are cooling off gradually.
The girl's family probably wants me to marry her when she's of age from the way things are going

Goldenboy007:
When people ask for advice on a very clear issue then I wonder what kind advice they are seeking for
So what problem did you say you have ?
The girl is not good enough for you to marry or you are too young to marry?

Bros what kind of advice do you want exactly?

You admitted you slept with the girl
You admitted the girl is a minor
You already accepted the pregnancy
You admitted you know sleeping with a minor is a crime
You aditted you know the girls parents can ruin your life if they report to the police
You admitted you slept with a wayward girl
You told your parents are already arranging a meeting
You admitted you made some promises to her parents


So what advice do you want? You want us to tell you what exactly?
Leave the girl?
Break your promise ?
Run away ?
That you may not be the father ?
That if reported it may ruin your life?

You know all the answers to these questions cos you answered them already ..so bros face the music. .also if you do not want insults, don't come to a public forum with an issue that people suppose beat you up for.

Just like u typed urself, there are tons of options. Just trying to view the issue from other people's perspective.

Their contributions had a lot of impact on my decisions.

Do u know I would have kept my discoveries away from my family if not for nairaland.

What I'm saying is a times one can have series of option just trying to pick which is best. So seeking opinions of others may be useful