lastpage:

I have said it before: WE DONT NEED LL THIS COMPETITION IN THE FAMILY a.k.a "Woman's Right"!

What we need is " A Wife" who knows the "weakness" of her hubby and uses it to full advantage, to keep the home and family HAPPY!

If a man is "egoistic", a woman should be "subtle" enough to know how to massage that ego and get things working!

A SMART WOMAN like you have discovered this principle (compared to all those "gra-gra women"! ), and l bet that you will use that man till all his teeth fall out!

Kudos to women like you!

Let all the "l am too enlightened, l am equal, l am too educated, l am too civilized, l no go gree lai-lai, it is fire-for-fire women, e.t.c", .........continue to "fight a war of gender" in their marriage" while their "smart mates" are enjoying the bliss of being married, as it should be!

Lastpage!

@OP: I dont ever question the headship of "my boy"!

If l offend him or do something out of turn, he will simply demand an explanation (he assumes l will not offend him on purpose!) and l will first apologize and that melts him down!
He knows l dont keep grudges and l always mean my "apology" from the heart.

What follows depends on where we are at that moment.
...if its outside the house, l will touch his nose to mine.
If it is inside the house, somebody go shout o!

That's manipulation and pretty much makes men look like idiots.

noble_gas1:

Are you married or single?

Doesn't have any bearing on my perspective either way.

So they're embarrassing her for being bad parents. Typical.

maclatunji: 1. Do you accept that the husband is the head/leader of the home?

2. If you do, how would you like him to correct you if he feels you have done something wrong?

1. No.
2. Is she doing something wrong or just something he doesn't like, there is a difference.

LOZENGE: no one is diputing that. but the fact remains thtat its the first of its kind in Africa. common guy lets commend this laudable achievement

But its not a first for people of African descent. Innoson Motors is a post-colonial achievement and that is where the emphasis should be placed. Innovation without the conditional assistance of the West and an equal, international partnership without Western consent or benefit.

Siena:

That's true. Frederick Douglas Patterson in 1916. http://www.highland-ohio.com/patterson_automobile.htm

Innoson Motors isn't the first black-owned auto-maker in the world.

tpia1:

Well, true a lot of single men dont see any incentive to marry.

You made some valid points there.

Thx.

^^^^^
I wanted to show African women so no one can make any excuses. Cancer survivors and people with conditions are except from my Natural Hair guilt trip. Now for AA women.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xetgZhwPyD4&feature=plcp

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zz0xvC08bY8&feature=plcp

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0JV0YDztOY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJfjTrTx6VI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUt4F2bFOJ4

kandiikane: ^shut da phuck up!

If you're messing with girls who purchase horse hair for weave, know that kandii isn't one of those girls.

I purchase hair from a china woman's head, b!tch!

I have to keep it as we say "100", buying hair isn't something to brag about. Caring for you own (growing) hair properly retains length. Wearing your own hair naturally also lends to the assumption of good hygiene (weekly cleansing of product build up and debris, a pleasant scent, relative sheen, etc.) I'm not calling you unclean NOT AT ALL. But the care of purchased hair is different from the care of growing hair and very different from natural hair. Less washing, heat applications give a burnt hair smell, conflicting textures, and dullness from product build up, plus products attract debris and trap smells in the hair. Wigs are better but there is the unnatural density, shine, and length. You'll look like you're wearing a wig.

Yes, I am purposely trying to turn you off of adding hair to your head . Natural Hair isn't a cult but the more the merrier. How about a little hair p-o-r-n?These are African Women by the way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBD2NGnYRWc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJf70Gv_PAc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2FwNQ4zB-A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBJWlwf7Z4g&list=UUdP5sfmaASghh-7Jg2OPQgg&index=3&feature=plcp

Some African Women talking about it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYhBXZ9cwRc

nagoma:

It's your own hair , if you bought it with your money or your credit card. How do you define ownership?

No need for semantics. The hair that grows from your scalp is a better than the alternative. So for the sake of the discussion ownership implies grown by you.

buzzedoffbeauty: I believe there are many things people assume about African Americans a.k.a black americans ( black is a color not a nationality by the way). You wouldn't believe some of the questions I've been asked over the years for instance.... I could be somewhere with a nigerian lady, usually in the age rage of 30's and up and has recently come to the states, a person I don't know from Adam can walk by and I'm asked....why is she talking like that? lol! Like I have the answer for the general population of black women.... I'll say...I don't know, then the women may say but.... it's your people....ugh ......interesting.

I think those who don't mingle with African Americans of the states are extremely curious about many things...this leads to preconceived notions that are sometimes true and sometimes far from it. I don't think it's ignorance so please don't post that here....it's just lack of understanding.
I may not have all the answers and some ladies can help me out as needed.

Here's a Q&A I get often....Q:Where are you from? A: Mississippi Q:Is that where slavery was A: Yes but slavery existed throughout the states for a period of time until the northerners no longer wanted it...we then had a civil war. The population of slaves were heavy in the south due to the picking of cotton. Q: Do you guys still pick cotton? A: For the most part no, there has been advancement in technology so machines can do it but there are some small farms who still employee people to pick cotton by hand; I've never actually seen them but have heard friends mention about 15 years ago of going there to work for the summer ( for pay).

Please list your question below and try to be nice....if the question is sexually explicit, try to be mature on your approach of asking it. Thanks.

My fam is from MS! Since you're Southern, what do you like most about Southern AA culture?

~Royal~:
Just Feisty.....I like her Style.

Blyss:

Not true. The few whom actually are enjoying their marriage state so, but the simple truth is that MOST aren't. MOST regret having gotten married in the first place, or at least to their current wives.

I'm talking about 1 man and 2 conflicts narratives based on the sex of the listener(s), unhappily married with men but happily married with women. Marriage doesn't serve the purpose it used so men and women finding themselves unsatisfied in the union doesn't surprise me a bit.

Blyss:

Humm, I'm still waiting.

The married men I know don't like to share what they enjoy in their marriages with other men. Ironically when there are women around we hear how awesome is at home and how much fun they have with their wive and kids. Is there pressure among men to keep the good stuff secret? Does it make them look weak if they enjoy being married? What is up with that?

shymexx:

I had to re-read your post and I can't be ar.sed anymore... Referencing white men's opinions about black men to buttress your point is just disrespectful - and I might be lured into making racist comments, if I were to indulge you... However, I'll let it slide and leave you in your grandiose delusions to continue to worship the "superior" white skin...

Btw, nice discourse.

I used white men's opinions of black men to show how similar they are to black men's opinions about black women. But again, you already knew that, the other readers do too. I think you're looking for a way out of the exchange without having to admit that your perspective of black women and their priority issues is wrong and quite sexist.

Blyss:

Humm, I'm still waiting.

i forgot..lol

shymexx:

And how do you know the state-of-mind of white men?

You love and worship white men, don't you?

I don't fall for cheap shots. So much for a robust rebuttal.

If you want to do a comparative analysis - compare how white men feel about the hierarchy of priorities of white women, against how black men feel about the hierarchy of priorities of black women...

White men don't demand equal contributions from the white sexes while males maintain a dominate position. White men aren't claiming to be experts on the issues that affect of white women either unless they support them. But their views on race are very similar to black men's views on gender.

shymexx:

Can you stop referencing white men and stop alluding to their "superiority" over black men?... When I said black women worship white men, you called it a "rant" - yet your retorts have been about white men and their "superiority." Black men might be underachievers for now(or probably in the last 400 years), however, black men civilised the same white men you and your co-travelers love to worship, and ruled over them for more than 6,000 years... So, cut the crap about white man this, white man that - the black man and the white man are two different people, with different backgrounds and cultures...

If you want to do a comparative analysis - compare how white men feel about the hierarchy of priorities of white women, against how black men feel about the hierarchy of priorities of black women... Stop disrespecting black men, we're not the white man's "bytch."

And what gender filter? - that's like asking parents to address age filter when talking about their kids....

PS: I'm kind of busy atm, but I'll be back with a more robust rebuttal.

I hope so because you have to do better than this. No one who read my last reply to you would even think for a moment I was calling white men superior, and to be honest I don't you did either but I'll play ball. I was actually showing how similar your perspective on black women and their issues is similar to how white man view black men and their issues. It doesn't matter the difference in race and culture between you and white men, the dismissal is the same, the arrogance is same, the marginalization is same, and the denial that any for the former exists in your perception is also the same. This renders that section in your last commentary completely void for this part of our exchange-sorry.

The gender filter I'm referring to is using your perception of the female gender to dictate what should be a valid concern for them. Age isn't a good comparison because it comes with experience and the average human brain doesn't fully develop until the age of 25. Gender doesn't come with more experiences, just different experiences and differences in male and female brain function aren't substantial enough to warrant dismissal on those grounds.

stillwater:

Yeah I agree with Denise. This is just a rant.


Shymmex just give up! Denise makes excellent points!

@Denise
The reason I called for 'carrying each other along' is because we as a people are more than likely to mate with, date, marry each other. If one gender becomes miles ahead of the other, there's a tendency for the other to drag you back.

Not necessarily but I do think healthcare disparities and quality of life issues for black women are more pressing than courtship. Unfortunately if black men and black women share a platform those issues will be shelved. I think we can agree that the few issues (from a very long list) that I stated earlier can't be shelved, its matter of mortality for black women now. Black men can organize themselves and pull their resources around the issues that affect them anytime they want to. Plus we can all agree that when someone is healthy and "happy" they're more likely to secure intimate companionship anyway.

shymexx:

Lmao... Your analogy is flawed... I was born and raised by a black woman, and I've black sisters - suffice to say; I'm an insider... So, I'm in a position to diagnose and talk about the flaws of black women... However, a white man diagnosing/constructing a "hierarchy of priorities" for black men would be doing so as an outsider and someone who doesn't know what it actually entails to being a black man... He would also be doing so on the premise and understanding of what the "hierarchy of priorities" should be, based himself vis-a-vis white/Eurocentric outlook - not black/Afrocentric/African outlook...

You're comparing apples to oranges - the white man is cultural different from the black man... However, black men and black women have the same cultural backgrounds and we've been together since the beginning of time... Perhaps, that's why no one is more suitable to talk about black women than black men...

I don't know if the other readers caught what you just did. You didn't address the gender filter, the lack of inquiry on your part about the hierarchy of priorities for black women (you can't even begin a diagnosis without asking questions to begin with-arrogance), or the dismissal of black women's issues by black men using the same blueprint white men use to dismiss the racial disparities of black men. In other words he gave himself the authority to be dismissive to the concerns of black men and "correct" your perception of race just like you're giving yourself the authority to be dismissive to the concerns of black women and "correct" their perception of inter-sectional discrimination.

The justifications he'll use to do so doesn't matter, just like your justifications for being just as dismissive and attempting to "correct" a black women's interpretation of consistent provocation and disparities in crucial facets society. They're equally damaging to the groups concerned and that is all that matters. My analogy isn't flawed because I'm drawing parallels between interpretations.

One more thing that might slip past the casual observer. You qualify yourself as an authority on black women because of your proximity to them (in this case familial). Not only do I possess that same qualification but the actual experience of being one. Therefore if there is someone in a better position to offer commentary on black women between the 2 of us, based your own formula, it would be me or black women more than black men. For some reason you're debating me despite having lesser credentials, again based on your formula. Either you don't really ascribe to your proximity qualification formula and just threw it out there or your perception is in fact skewed by gender bias and can't be seen as objective by any standard of reasoning.

~Royal~:
Shy, you on ya own with this one...

I was going to write a reply to counter her post just now, but this Lady scares the Hell out of Me..she is Feisty!

#TeamDenise216

...216...That's Ohio....

Oh hell no i ain't messing with this woman, out there in Garfield Heights cutting guys diicks off with a meat cleaver.

I agree with everything Denise216 said 100%

#TeamBlackAmericanWomen

D.L Hughley is a cornball anyway.....I love Aggressive Black Women, only weak men fear them.

As far as Diagnosing someone.....I feel there are no Barriers of "Race and "Gender" as to who can Diagnose who....Otherwise if there were your Psychiatrist and Psychologist would always have to be compatible to your "race" and "gender"....

....seeing as how Whites can't Diagnose Blacks and Women Can't Diagnose men....

That would make it pretty hard to make appointments.

My Shrink is an Asian Lady.......I guess all this time, i have been wasting my money!

#StillTeamDenise216

The diagnosis of a single patient based on their individual symptoms from trauma, abuse, of chemical imbalance by a healthcare professional one thing. Using race and gender, both a result of genetic pairing and chromosomes, isn't recognized in mental health practice. I believe doing even trying to would get you sued. But I think he is looking to a cultural analysis, "black" being used in place of culture but for the same reason.

~Royal~:
Shy, you on ya own with this one...

I was going to write a reply to counter her post just now, but this Lady scares the Hell out of Me..she is Feisty!

#TeamDenise216

...216...That's Ohio....

Oh hell no i ain't messing with this woman, out there in Garfield Heights cutting guys diicks off with a meat clever.

I agree with everything Denise216 said 100%

#TeamBlackAmericanWomen

D.L Hughley is a cornball anyway.....I love Aggressive Black Women, only weak men fear them.

As far as Diagnosing someone.....I feel there are no Barriers of "Race and "Gender" as to who can Diagnose who....Otherwise if there were your Psychiatrist and Psychologist would always have to be compatible to your "race" and "gender"....

....seeing as how Whites can't Diagnose Blacks and Women Can't Diagnose men....

That would make it pretty hard to make appointments.

My Shrink is an Asian Lady.......I guess all this time, i have been wasting my money!

#StillTeamDenise216

I just had to show my father your comment, he said and I quote "Damn Right!" 216 is my Birthday, 2/16.

shymexx:
Why do you think I'm not in a position to diagnose black women?

For the same reason a white man is in no position to construct a hierarchy of priorities for black men. He will be working from a position that benefits his group, not yours. He'll consider it his duty as a white man to "correct" your perspective of systemic racism and de facto discrimination because you as a black man have a chip on your shoulder and thus incapable of seeing reason. In his mind if you black men would just work on dressing nicer, not disturbing "decent folk" with your behavior, and tried to get along with white men instead of being stuck in the past you black men would be fine. Only instead of using the gender filter you use on black women he'll use a racial one to judge the validity of your statement, after all he (1) sees your blackness as a burden that he is lucky not to have to shoulder and (2) believes that he is more informed on your situation than you are based on his limited experience or perception of racism, not your lifetime of exposure and analysis.

Swap "white man" or "black man" and "black men" for "black women" and its just about fit. Keep in mind this white man is trying to tell you what you should care about based on his own interpretations because he didn't think it was important enough to ask you.

I believe single men don't have an incentive to marry these days, lower birthrates in modern cities suggest single women are starting to feel the same way about motherhood. Aside from traditionalists quality of life is becoming a priority over social obligation. Its great for the economy too.

shymexx:

My post was about black women in general and their innate anger, especially towards black men... We all have similar history albeit different experiences, and I think I'm in a position to speak about what's fundamentally wrong with black women... I'm a realist and I tell it as it is - soliciting a "certain response" by maliciously trying to label people what they're not isn't my thing...

There is no innate anger, just a critique of the status quo and no you're really not in a position to diagnose black women, "I think" isn't a recognized credential.

shymexx:

"You lot" isn't a typo, it's MODERN ENGLISH - and a common way of speaking and writing in the UK, British English mate..

You could call my retort a rant, if you wish to - however, I'm just keeping it real and showing you why your argument is flawed... Perhaps, if you could look at the points I raised critically, you would agree with me...

You asserted that black women don't care about the "standard-of beauty" - yet black women look more European that they have ever looked(European standard-of-beauty is the generally accepted standard)...

To be honest, I don't really care about black women and how they choose to lead their lives... The thread was opened to ask questions and I gave my personal opinions on what I know whilst keeping it 100% real...

Fine I'll take the hit on the spell check, not a big deal. Not being in the UK makes me unfamiliar with British grammar, kind of like AA women's history to a black man living in the UK. But it is a rant meant to solicit a certain response. The idea isn't to get you to agree with me. I think that is another arrogant assumption on your part. You don't get to set priorities for black women and asking me to address an issue that is trivial compared to other issues is again, arrogant and even intrusive. I never said black women didn't care about beauty, I said they have bigger fish to fry. Just like relating to black men romantically is trivial. My opinion is that black women should distance themselves from black men in identity and platform. I haven't heard a good reason not to keep this premise.

shymexx:

However, black women need to direct that innate anger at the right places, focus on home-building, and stop disturbing black men... No one wants a nagging and angry wife, after the baggage that comes with being a black man... You lot are meant to be helpers, and not destroyers...

And if the standard-of-beauty weren't "an issue" with black women - I wonder why you lot are stuck on weaves, lacefronts, skin toning/bleaching, and attachments... We all know most black women suffer from inferiority complex - and trying so hard to look like white women... You lot want to be white so bad that you have lost your identity... Being nappy headed is a sin for black women now, no? Perhaps, that also contributed to the innate anger...

This is a rant so I know I can't take this as seriously as I would the price of gasoline or what kind of creamer to put in my tea. Look at the language; "Your lot" (I had to correct your typo if that's okay), "inferior complex", "lost identity", pretty much anything to solicit an emotional response. I'm going to tell how I avoid falling in to that trap. You could say we're having a huddle over the internet. The way I keep from getting upset about what black men have to say about black is............*whispering* I don't care what black men think about anything that pertains to black women-period. This applies especially to black men I don't know personally.

shymexx:

Black Power Movement was actually a good idea because it birthed the Civil Rights Movement, HBCUs, Black Businesses, Afrocentrism etc.. However, every critical thinker would argue that Civil Rights Movement was the bad idea(at that period) because black people were not ready for desegregation/integration/competition with white people who had an advantage over them economically and educationally... Perhaps, that was why black wall street and black business collapsed because there was nothing in place to stiff the competition against the more advantageous white people...

Black Power Movement also birthed the fight against colonisation in Africa - and a new wave of Pan-Africanists in Europe... And we intelligent blacks from the African continent and Europe will forever be grateful to our AA brothers and sisters for leading the way... However, that's a topic for another day...

Marching and taking a stand means a lot... Everything isn't about building structures - sometimes educating minds and inspiring people means a lot... Those women did that - and they inspired a generation...

No, Civil Rights came first and the Black Power Movement developed during that time frame due to young black men's dissatisfaction with non-violent activism. HBCUs and black businesses weren't started under the auspices of Black Power, not when 6 of the oldest HBCU's were funded by whites, white men to be exact. The You can romanticize the impact of Black Power by giving it a new address and international virtue than but we know what happened in the US and what it didn't do. I don't recall stating Civil Rights was a good idea, just not as bad at Black Power and the impact of Black Power on Black women. Integration would have happened on its own but the opportunity to stabilize black neighborhoods was passed on, that is the main flaw I see in Civil Rights.

shymexx:

Don't quote me out of context - I was alluding to those who actually wronged and degraded black women during slavery and colonisation - and why black women have refused to direct their anger towards them but black men... You might want to feign ignorance, however, every student of history knows that from the 18th century - to mid 20th century - most black women were either raped, slaves, and maids for certain people - from the Americas to Europe and Africa... My grandmother is from the Egba stock in Nigeria(mixed race looking Nigerian woman) - and I know her ancestors were definitely raped, just like many Egba people and Igbo people of Nigeria...

My point is that - why are black women not angry at white men, rather most black women worship white people... However, their innate anger is only directed towards black men?? Black men aren't perfect - and we've gone through a lot, and we're still going through a lot, yet our women can't let us rest... They stay nagging!! Misdirected anger is problematic - I'll like to see black women channel this anger against those people who have kept us in perpetual servitude, degraded them, and have continued to make them feel worthless by making their standard of beauty worthless...

Obviously, there were black women who were not raped, maids, and slaves - however, they were still part of the collective servitude - go figure...

And there is the script; black women mad at black men and not white men. I didn't take your statement out of context, it put it right were it belongs-under the black male perspective, a very narrow interpretation of black female life before Civil Rights. Since you haven't studied the history of black women in the US, because you're not interested not because the information isn't available, you opt for the more convenient narrative and repeat it. Just like bringing up beauty as the main cause for black women's frustration with racism or interpreting black women's reaction to consistent provocation as innate "anger" and not a critique of the status quo are examples of arrogant dismissal. Nothing about the Black Women's Labor Unions that they created to negotiate higher wages or their labor strikes. Nothing about the schools built by and for black women to train them in Domestic Sciences (their phrase not mine) so they could work as maids, like there is something wrong with being a maid, and nothing about black women using their earnings to fund their organization, charities, and take care of their families. As if is some how they resented the means by which they contributed to their families and communities. On the record most of this stuff happened as early as 1862 and that is my HTML speech to you. There are issues more pressing for black women than being promoting like white women for their beauty, trust me. The charge of worshiping white people is odd considering how pre-occupied black women are with what black men are doing and saying. Hopefully as time goes on and the idea spreads black women will spent more time worried about their quality of life and not some cheap shot from yet another black comedian.

shymexx:

Nah, the above statement epitomises a crass, myopic, and simplistic thought process... For every Elaine Brown in the Black Panther Party - there were Assata Shakur and Afeni Shakur who marched with and led the struggle...

Maya Angelou marched with both MLK and Malcolm X - and Mama Harriet Tubman never needed a nod from black men before she started freeing slaves... If you're down for the cause, you're down for it - you don't need approve from black men to do that....

Women like: Mama Kefa Nephthys, Lana "Isis" Drakes, Dr. Frances Cress-Welsing, Queen Mother Moore etc.. did what they had to do without seeking approval from black men...

That wasn't really my point but that is something you can argue with him on his blog. My point was that black men tend to not take black women's issues seriously despite equal contributions. In my opinion the whole Black Power Movement was a bad idea. It got nothing accomplished and since it did no internal policing left the gate open so that criminals were able to run off the black middle class and exploit the vulnerabilities of the black poor and elderly.

Notice how your tone changed though, you're not even writing to me anymore, you're giving a speech in HTML..LOL. There are quite a few women you referenced that I don't admire at all because their "contributions" were superficial. They didn't build any schools, they didn't start any businesses, they didn't reduce criminal activity in their neighborhoods, they didn't promote sexual safety or responsibility among black women, and they definitely didn't make sure black women learned about the accomplishments of black women before them. Probably because they were black-male identified. Ironically the black women before them did a lot more with a lot less. BTW, marching with MLK isn't a big deal because it wasn't his march (you should read about how he just so happened to give a speech at the March on Washington while the scheduled speaker, James Baldwin didn't). Tubman did her thing in the late 19th century...........when black abolitionist women had a (say it with me) a separate platform and identity. See how I just brought you back on topic?