Well i think a possible solution starts with the immediate family. A lot of black families especially african families do not understand depression nor provide adequate support and understanding.

If you do eventually open up that you are depressed than basically you need prayers and deliverance . It's not taken as seriously so i believe more education on this illness amongst black families would be the starting point.

Many of these men who say these horrendous things don't realize that once you turn against your natural, feminine mates, you are conquered, and as a reaction, once your own women become indifferent towards your existence because of the blatant hatred, disrespect, and humiliation that you have shown to her, when it was the Black woman who was also having the Black man's back, then there is no hope. Black women, give birth to a new community. We have the genetic power to do so. So without the black women then there will no longer be black men.

If it is not light skinned versus dark skin then its black men versus black women. Smh sick

I tried to download the book but it has expired. Can anyone else please share this with me?

dahmie2013:
Op, urs is better. U don't want 2 read mine. Nywys, i'll ony advice u learn 4rm deir mistakes. It is well!

Thanks dear. Are your parents still bombarding you with their issues

Kingsasian:
We are currently in the same shoes although in my case both parents are working class. I took a decision to ignore and I do let each of them know their faults as well. I am presently living alone but my mum still calls to indulge in their issues.
OP, I would advise that you ignore them. You have your own life to live. They are currently living theirs.

At least you were able to say your mind. When I told my mom I didn't want to hear it anymore she took it badly and became upset then told me am just like my dad. I know my dad would take it as me being disrespectful if I tell him I don't want to hear it. I already have so much stress and my own problems but they just can't leave me out of theirs.

eph12:
All your posts are full of complaints and bitterness. Can you just say or post something positive?

I posted for advice. If you don't have advice to give then simply ignore my thread

donbenedict:
so waht the fvck are u stil doing in their house9

Firstly even when I was not at home they still used to call me and complain. Unfortunately to cut a long story short am not at home by choice. I don't have a job anymore so currently finishing off my studies while living at home since beginning of June

donbenedict:
How old are u?

old enough

Hi all
I don't even know where to begin but my family particularly my parents are bringing me into their issues.

Ever since I was young my mom used to tell me bad stuff about my dads family and even about him. She used to complain a lot about many things and problems and that used to stress me a lot. I realised when I grew older that it was actually wrong of her to say all those stuff about my dad and also to burden me at such a young age with all the issues (like she once told me how my dad had an affair and used to drop me and my siblings off when we were younger at a friends place so that he could be with his girlfriends).

I never saw his family in a good light because of my mom and even though there was some truth to what she said about them I just feel like I didn't have to know all that at such a young age.

Now as I grew older my dad also started to complain about my mom. He even told me today if someone asked him if he would still be married to my mom in 3years time he said he can't give them an answer.

I will admit that my mom cannot manage and spend money well. She is constantly asking for money on a daily basis and uses it for unnecessary stuff. Both have their bad side. If I am totally honest with myself I feel that they are not compatible.

Because of their marriage I myself don't think I ever want to get married. What i learnt from their marriage is that a woman needs to be independent and make her own money instead of constantly asking from the man, because truth be told if my dad leaves her tomorrow she wont be able to survive without him. An educated person should be with an educated person so both will be able to reason together in a logical way.
I am honestly sick and tired of hearing almost on a daily basis about my parents issues with each other. What can or should I do to make them stop because I tried to tell my mom few years back that I dont want to constantly hear this stuff but she still does not listen and now my dad has started too. Its emotionally draining

qoura123:

different strokes for different folkes
I like fat ladies any day anytime

lol. Indeed different strokes for different folkes. I now there are men who like fat ladies. I believe there is a man for every women but I just don't want to be this weight.

V0lv0:
@ BrideofDracula as a medical doctor and one who has dealt with psychologist and psychiatrist I actually do know what I am talking about and I will rather base my opinion and knowledge from my experiences.

They do try and find out the underlying causes that's why they have sessions to enable them to determine the appropriate solution as you correctly mentioned medication is not only used to treat depression.

She mentioned earlier that's she knows why she is depressed and this has been going on since childhood. She also mentioned that's she seeked medical help from a Dr who prescribed her with medication. Generally for those who do not feel seeking counseling will be beneficial to them. They go on medication and try different drugs and if that still fails then counselling will be suggested as an alternative. Its actually always better to first see a Dr as depression can be a symptom of other diseases such as hyperthyroidism which causes weight gain and depression. @ op have you checked your thyroid? If not I suggest that you do.

Anyways I am not going to debate with you further on this. We can merely agree to disagree on this case

When I saw my dr she also recommended that I did a thyroid test and the result was my thyroid was fine. She also recommended that I try sederp for 6months and then she also told me that she doesn't feel that I actually need counselling as I am still able to go through my daily activities and the medication would help with regards to my mood. She asks few questions and did sort of an assessement. Thanks

Debbywills:


I don't need to be in your shoes before I understand you. I know its sickening but with time you'll trim down, always involve yourself in menial exercises, like jogging, Tummy bending, and so on. I think you should also watch our diet, you'll be able to have the shape you want.
Gracious Sunday!

Thank you dear will do so. Have a great Sunday to you too

BrideOfDracula:


You said people go to psychiatrists, usually when they want to know the source of their depression & I'm disagreeing with you. That's either a hypnotist or maybe even a psychic See, not everyone is clueless about these things hence your story is...meh.

Whatever rocks your boat. Because like the "doc", I also don't care.

hypnotist or psychic I think we are both on different pages but to be honest just like you don't care I also don't care about your opinion. I am doing what I feel is best for myself.

pcguru1:

Do you mind if I send you a PM ? I get depressed alot too but my own personal reasons might differ from yours.

Thank you. Yes you can pm me

Debbywills:
The real question you should ask yourself is "Do I really want to be slim, or am just trying to impress my Boyfriend and the public"?
Seriously, this is the highest level of Inferiority complex.
You wanna get slimmer for a guy that might wake up one morning and tell you its over, and you'll get to meet another guy who will love you bold and thick, then you'll run around again, looking for pills to build up your body?

There's no need to be depressed, there are some persons that love you just the way you are.

Thanks for your response. Like I said earlier that I have been depressed since I was young and I have been having weight issues as well so this is not just because of my bf. I also stated that I want to lose weight for myself mostly and not just for my boyfriend. We have dated for 6 years and planning to get married so I know he loves me and that's not the point. I just wish he was more supportive with my whole weight issue is just one of the reason I am depressed and not the only reason. Its easy for you tosay there is no reason yp be depressed because you are not in my position nor know how I feel or am going through.

BrideOfDracula:


No, psychiatrists aren't hypnotists, so most people usually have an idea of what their issues are (they may not know what it's called but that's what the doctor is for, to put a label on the symptoms). I agree that they're expensive so why not go to at least one or two appointments just to get a formal diagnosis & a subscription for your medication? Because once you know your dosage, maybe your illness will be much easier to handle. That way you'll be making healing from the inside out. Your binge eating or whatever is the cause of your so called weight gain, will not stop until you've taken care of what needs to be taken care of.

Don't they provide free mental health care where you live? Or go to support groups, you don't pay a dime for those.

Who said pyschiatrists are hypnotist? anyways thanks but am seeking other options more suitable for me.

larabae13:
ok oo buh take things easy...try d things I told u do nd holla at me if it works.

I will definitely do that. Thanks for the kind words

BrideOfDracula:


Now this is where the logic of your story is flawed. The idea of speaking to a professional doesn't sit well with you because you already know & they don't care. So what's the point of this thread? How many here genuinely care?

I think if you're seriously mentally ill & not just attention seeking, you should seek a doctor. Depression is nothing to take lightly

The reason it doesn't sir well with me is firstly in real life I am not the type of person to speak in front of someone about my feelings etc. I am quiet reserved too so it would not work out with speaking to a professional. Secondly I know why am depressed. Usually you would seek a professional to talk to find the under root cause of depression. Thirdly a psychiatrist is very expensive and this thread is free.

larabae13:
bae I'll really advice you to love yourself, cos ur bf isn't worthy of u at all u shld be proud of ur curves nd lushness itz nuffin to be ashamed of....some guyz really love girls dat are lush.....u dnt av to please anybody be ursef nd dnt let anyone bring down ur self esteem....buh incase u still need to lose weight,u can squeeze lotta limes into a bottled water nd drink it early in the morning b4 u eat....it really helps. Even sam smith can testify

Thank you very much. Its not about losing weight for my boyfriend but for myself. I know there are men who like women like me. Fat or slim that was not really an issue for me but I am not looking for a man. I just want to be myself again and do things I like and try not to let people get to me too much. I guess am kinda soft at heart so I take things deep.

Thanks for the comments and advice it has been noted.Like I mention before my depression started when I was a very young girl. Had a lot of family issues and other issues and I guess the weight gain too added to it and made it even worse.

My profession does not help either cos its very stressful and involved a lot of travelling and overtime and this added to my weight gain too.

I am just trying to take things day by day but dome days seem harder than others like tody and hence my whole thread

PiccoloBrunelli:
What your boyfriend wouldn't like is you posting pictures of your bum on a public forum. You even zoomed in on the pic so that those of us with eye problem will not miss out. Tell us what your problem really is. Someone 4 times fatter than you are was effortlessly lifted by her man during their pre-wedding foto shoots. The pics were all over social media. So what are you not saying? Please draw your skirt down.

lol this comment of yours was so unneccesary. don't worry about what my bf likes or does not like. secondly I never zoomed in on any of the pictures I took. I took them myself and hence would be closer and not far away smart pants. Secondly there will always be fatter. I don't care about that. I care about myself so those who enjoy being fat is their prorogative. Come and draw my skirt down for me.

opeaceo:


My dear, coming online to ask people, most especially Nigerians about depression is like trying to commit suicide, go seek professional help!!!

I know. Its extremely hard for Africans to understand it that's why I am unable to tell anybody. I once tried to tell my mom but she could not understand. The idea of paying someone who does not really care about me just to tell me something I already know does not really sit well with me. I also once went to the dr and they prescribed me with a tablet called sederp. I had to stop because the side effects were very bad.

virud:
He prefers slim girls.
But you re fat and you call him your boyfriend?

he didn't meet me this size. I was slimmer but over 2 years ago I got very depressed and this also led to increase in weight.

Its not only about my boyfriends specs but for me myself. I am at home and took the pics at home. If I was out then I would have worn a coat and stockings. I did say the problem area is my bottom half and unfortunately even if I wore pants I still have big butt so it still shows. I am not advertising anything

Hi all.
I don't even know where to start from. I have been suffering from depression since my teen years and its been off and on. Sometimes it gets better and sometimes it gets worse and this has also been the reason for my weight fluctuation as I am an emotional eater.

So this is the fattest I have been and I feel so ugly and don't really want to go anywhere anymore because people always make comments about my weight and this makes me feel very bad. A person knows when they haive gained weight and when they are fat. People don't need to keep rubbing it on their faces.

Anyways my boyfriend loves really slim women. He does not like a women fat. When am with him and he thinks am not watching I see how he looks at other slim women. All his ex gf have been slim and were ever slimmer than I was when we first met. I just feel so unloved and don't feel much support. I am trying to lose weight even if it means the quick way like pills etc as am tired of feeling this way.

I tend to gain weight more on the down part my butt, hips and thighs and then my top. I would really appreciate if anyone could recommend something they have used that really worked?

P.s please don't bash me or insult me. It took a lot to post these pics and I know I am fat so that is not the issue.

Daxyd4realzy:
Can u pm ur number

is ur number the one on or profile

Sempumping:
where are you ....can we be friends ?

I would like to be friends

opeaceo:
Have you gone to see a counselor? Have you discovered your "escape routes"?

I don't have a counselor and I don't know what you mean by escape routes

Hello. I am severally depressed and I feel sad and empty. I just wanted to know if there are any other depressed people around here and if they have done anything to help with this? Any websites, support forums, medication etc that can be of help.


I just feel at my wits end and don't want to feel this way anymore :-(

I do not have any supportive family and I do not have any friends. I am all alone in this which makes it even harder because I feel so lonely.