₦airaland Forum

pol23:
Imagine an ongoing war tactics that’s been discussed on open platform like this….
I don’t believe Ukrainian Army can be that foolish to openly discuss their secret like that, instead they will let Russia keep wasting their resources…
I believe this is simply one of the media nonsense to make you believe Ukraine is winning or on the verge of winning.
Well…. Believe whatever you choose…

The problem of NATO and some western war analysts is that they forget or tend to underestimate the capabilities of the Russian KGB. This is a big win for Russia. People think Russia does not know which Himmars is fake and which is not. People forget that Russian allies like China also assist Russia with intelligence just to get back at the West. In any case, I think Zelensky is the world most stupid president. Russian initial demand is to not join NATO but now Russia has seen justification to seize more territory and not even the US can remove Russia from those occupied territories. It is much harder to occupy a territory than to regain control of a lost territory. Kherson will be NATO’s Wotaloo.

Mrscarter:
Marraige is a serious commitment. I understand u going for someone else the way u say your wife constantly insult you etc. Ur wife should be easing ur stress wen u get home not adding to it. Marraige is for not just the better but the worst. Ur wife should have stood by u thru the worst n ben more understanding and tried solving the issues not adding to them. Understand tho is not easy as it sounds being a mother to young children and keeping house it gets tiring and u can feel like u have no life outside that so can get depressing i guess but is no excuse to take it out on you. Is it possible to talk openly about how ur both feeling bout ur life n marraige n try put in more effort to make things great again or discuss divorce maybe she will want to be free aswell? U never know what is going on in ones mind if u don't ask. As for the other woman i wouldn't go any further with her or rush anything til u sort ur marraige first. The happiness u feel with this woman remember u once felt that way with your wife. U dnt need rush into another problem adding to ur misery if things don't turn out well then you'll have not only a bad marraige. I think marraige being a vow before god should be given atleast a chance to be fixed. Maybe spice up ur sex life with your wife and romance etc and talk freely how she makes u feel etc cos remember the woman she was wen u met her that woman is still inside there. Ask her her thoughts her feelings. Atleast try save ur marraige n if it dont work then divorce and try a new relationship. Remember tho all relationships start off all lovey n rosey until real life sets in so whatever u do decide id take your time

I understand you. Sometimes while she is asleep, I wakeup, sitting beside the bed, I think about the lovely days and tears drops from my eyes. I think about my vow, but everything get sour when I think about the curses. For her to say “ it will not be well with me” because of a provocation, broke my heart. For her to threaten to kill me because of some quarrels shattered my heart. Then I thought, am I with the right woman? Did I make mistake? Sometimes I remind her about all the sacrifices I have offered for her and told her to behave. But the most painful part was an occasion when I did a job and was not paid, lost my phone and business contacts, get mocked in the office for trying to use other people’s phone to get in touch with my business partners and then come back home to meet a disrespectful wife. That was the height of it all. I laid in my room and I cried and wondered why things were not working for me. After all these, I zeroed my mind and channeled it to find happiness outside and I got it. I know it’s a sin but before everything I begged God to be patient with me and forgive me. But I assured myself I will never deceive any woman so as not to add sin to sin. I told her am married and I am with her because I am sad and want happiness. I have decided to banish every thoughts on getting divorced and remarried. I think I will just hang on and enjoy the moments with her. I don’t intend to touch her. Thank you for your wise advice. It sounds like an advice from an elder sis. Thanks.

BlackMan6969:
All the features ur seeing in this new girl, u also saw in ur wife b4 u got married. Nothing is going to change with the new girl. Besides ur wife wanted nothing to do with ur broke ass b4 u got her pregnant (that was an indirect way of her telling you "Nigga wen u broke, we gonna have a problem" but ur ass didn't understand that.
Love is a choice. If ur will to love ur wife again, "YOU WILL"
you don't love her any more cause ur "NOT WILLING"
MAKE UR MARRIAGE WORK, UR D MAN!

How I wish the love could come back. She will just quickly quench it with one attitude that I will be wondering whether she is being controlled from somewhere. Anyways, thanks bro.

falcon01:
Toh. I'm gonna be straight with you, all you need a side chick stop thinking of love, I love this I love that, what you lack inside you seek outside and I'm not saying the new girl ain't good but you may marry her and her true colors show. Depends on your moral compass, To maintain balance you gotta have a girl outside and I'm not saying everybody should cheat but it's obvious you ain't getting everything you want with your wife. So yeah keep doing what you are doing stop thinking of settling with her for now, you are already married just play your game until when your wife decided to genuinely give you love and happiness, but for now just maintain the balance for the sake of your mental health.

I quite agree with you. I will keep in touch with her and still watch my wife and see whether things will get worse or better. Before now, owing to her wahala I suffer constant headaches and struggles to be happy. Thank you for the advice.

omolasho:
Firstly,your Union lacked Godly foundation(formication>marriage) so you should expect some fallouts like these. Also remember, Satan our enemy will cease every opportunity due from our disobedience to God to act against us.(BACKGROUND PROBLEM)

Secondly, you have perfectly identified the catalyst of the problem that bedeviled your home; FINANCE. Taking solace in drinking, smoking or another relationship amounts to DENIAL. You shall only end up repeating a PATTERN(bad one) and reinvigorating the problem.( IMMEDIATE PROBLEM)

Finally, don't be deceive, starting with Maternal Eve, all women are with these common traits( REBELIOUS, GULLIBLE, DISOBEDIENCE AND DECEPTION). They are all very similar, don't even fall for the new girl facade because its not gonna last. See them as incubator and care giver for you children only and save yourself ageless headaches. Forget about the feminists pathetic scripts of equalism, better half, mate, etc, and other unadulterated phonetics. (ADVICE)

Thanks. I don’t think finance was the problem. I think she does not have genuine love for me. If she does, she will be my consolation in my hard times and not an additional hell. She knows my worth and also knows money will eventually come and which actually happened. The threats, curses, disrespect before now was much, I had to look for happiness somewhere.

anonym0us:
you get PDF file abeg send

DM me for the pdf

anonym0us:
you get PDF file abeg send

Let me see if I could download one.

Don’t you know that the digital or tech world is the all seeing eye. Read the book “1984” by George Orwell you will know that you are being monitored. This is a taste of the coming world government whose sign is the sign of “big brother” who sees all things. As long as you have modern gadgets you can’t hide from the eyes of big brother.

Righteousness2:
Looking at world events today, it is Clear that the Four Horsemen of the apocalypse are galloping to ride.

All the Major Endtimes players including the NWO, One world religion, one world currency , the Beast System etc, are all up and fully ready to strike and take over the Earth.

What is Holding them is the Greatest Mystery to Hit Humanity.
What is Holding them is Sudden Mysterious Disappearance of all who are Saved and washed in the Blood of JESUS Christ.

And I tell you Folks! There is no more time!
The Rapture of the Saints is just a Breath away!

Come to JESUS Christ now! Be Ready! Live Ready! Be Prepared! There will be no time to repent. Do it now.

I like the way you analyze end time events. I am a sinner and not holy but I have a revelation to give you for the end time. After the death of Putin, Russia will fall and Anti Christ will come. Putin is the last Christian emperor blocking the manifestation of the Anti Christ. Putin is not a holy man but he is a figure in the Apocalypse. He is God’s instrument of chastisement for sin. When one of the seals of the Apocalypse was opened, there was famine caused by scarcity of grains. What Nigeria is facing currently is not peculiar to Nigeria alone but our own is worsened by bad leaders. Europe is also facing inflation. There was a trumpet that sounded in the Apocalypse of St John and the sun became too hot that men were scourged by the heat. It is happening in Europe currently. It is called heat wave.
But take note again, after Putin’s death expect the Anti Christ.

Abdul05:
The Road is dusty ...

It should be dusty na because it is only a village in Anambra State. No government presence. It is beautiful and attractive for a village.

Getdabag:
The problem with digitallawyer is that he rushes into courtship too quick bcus of the butterflies in his belly without knowing the flaws of the person he is with but goes after how she makes him feel at the moment
He rushed the first wife despite she and her father showed you her red flag codedly(u must be bouyant enough) but u still went ahead to get her pregnant, and now the new girl, you mentioned only her good side what bout the bad, I see u putting a crocodile and python in ur house both reptiles with different shapes and features but still deadly...

I agree with you on the fact that I rushed into marriage. I didn’t want an abortion and I was trying to save her face but did not put my happiness first. Maybe I was inexperienced and that was my first serious relationship. I knew that if I refused to marry her she may abort the baby and I don’t want that. This was the flaws i did not advert my mind to. As each day goes by, I lived with the feeling that I made a mistake in toeing the part of marriage that early. I also wished I could turn back the hands of time where I will find someone who love me more than I love her.

My advice for bachelors on this forum, please make sure a woman loves you more than you can imagine before contemplating marriage. Love is not foisted and it is not earned but it comes naturally and you don’t need to stress yourself for her. She will rather do the loving and your work is to reciprocate. Again too much attention spoils modern day women.

slimprinx:
My only advice is this
Test your wife to know if she has completely changed, by acting broke (since she started acting all loved up when your money returned). As she may just be this nice and calm because you have enough now to satisfy her need. But if her attitude remain thesame after acting all broke again then look for a way to restore your love for her, if not apply divorce and go for your new found love.
Also from your narrative you never mentioned if your wife is a FULL TIME HOUSE WIFE or she is working/into Business (so as she can support the family needs with her own little earning).
I will not advice you to cheat on your Marriage but if you are tired of the Union, kindly do the needful (Divorce Her).
All the best!!!

She is working, but I earn more than she does.

satandeterrible:
You seem like a really good guy, that why I'm still here advising you.
Normally I wouldn't do this, as I let simps burn.

Bro, YOU ARE A BIG SIMP. And this is the genesis of your problems. It was obvious from your NYSC days with her, when she effectively friendzoned you and later married you for 'Beta bucks'.
Sadly, you are still deeply bluepilled.

When will you learn that you cannot buy love, respect and loyalty?
Buying her a car is just placing her on a pedestal and even giving her more tempo to fire you even more ruthlessly when the going gets rough again.


YOU DO NOT REWARD BAD BEHAVIOR IN WOMEN!!!!!

She has two children for me. I am doing it so that whenever I leave she will always know it was her fault and not mine.

edunaragold:
If u have a child, just zero it and go take care of the baby , leave woman, u can have sex secretly but your wife matters, woman and Virgina no dey finish o. U don't know the woman you are in love , finish, but the one you marry. I have been in your shoes several times but na thr baby make me still dey with my wife o.

My brother na true. Only that it is been long this shit started and I have been keeping it to myself. It is when I started falling sick and having depressions that I knew that it is high time I do something. Once again thanks.

Saintmary:
Awwn, Oya do quick and buy her the car.

This is what you should do, the day you give her the car, wake her up at night and warn her seriously that the day she ever shouts on you, you will bring your second wife home.


On the following day, take her, and the car to your in laws, repeat your warning so that you can have a witness.


You will never hear pim.

P. S. Keep that girl's number just in case.

Lols. Thanks, actually before even meeting the girl I had earlier warned her that I am not yet cheating and she is treating me this way and one day another woman will come and drag the house with her.

DesChyko:
Temptation no dey finish, boss. Even if you pursue this wife, marry the new one, you go still see fine matter for outside wey package better behaviour.

My take for the matter be say if the wahala for the current marriage too much sotee e fit bring problem between you, your woman and still affect the kids, you can quit it if Nah threat to your mental sanity.

But to rush enter another marriage no be game oo. No be say e no fit work but you go need time analyse the reasons why the first one go south; make sure you're in a better place, then go again.

Temptation no dey finish, my gee.

Thanks a lot for your advice. I need to take a break and study the situation before taking any further step

satandeterrible:
The second lady is the right one for you.
Most of the commenters here are just plain feminised idiots.
You were an idiot too by being with your wife even when she was fuking another man. She married you out of necessity and not out of love.

This other lady chose you. She is the right one for you. Damn the consequences. Divirc your wife and marry thsu other lady.

Many of the previous commenters are very stupid idiots. Let me tell you, there is no justification in eatth for your wife to misbehave because you're having financial crisis. What does she bring to the table? Can't she work too?
Do not for any reason tolerate insults from any woman. That's a bad move.

This other lady is the right one for you. If you really want to live a happy life, divorce your current wife and marry this other lady.

Act fast, do not lose a good thing because of the comments of very stupid people here. This other lady is simply the best choice for you.

I like your comments because you are direct and without mincing words. Other commenters are not idiot but are expressing their opinion and are entities same. I have so far picked a lot from them. Anyways, I will just watch her for sometime maybe a year and know if she will change. I will likewise watch my wife for a year to know if she is pretending. This will determine my next move. Once again thanks for your advice.

HopeNeverDies:
Local Man is Confused

Lols. It may happen to you someday. Everybody will surely get their breakfast so that you will know how it hurts.

Sweetvie:
Ok. I didn't read that long note ofcourse
But thing is everyone change especially when financial situation is involved. One thing is the lady u think is gentle now go still show u later
Was your wife not gentle and sweet when u guys started dating? So forget
Rather than falling in love it's better u build yourself. Your wife is still complaining you want to bring another wahala for urself? How do guys fall in love sef? Coz I don't understand again

Lol. There is a saying that it is the wearer of the shoes that knows where it is paining him. You won’t understand what I have been going through for 4 years now. I would have called it quit long ago but my only restraint was my moral and church obligations.
I have built myself and have all I need for now. Hard times happens to everyone no matter how hard working you are but it does not change your worth. I will just maintain normal friendship with the girl and see how things goes.

frozen70:
This was so lengthy but I was happy reading it because I was interested in this case and the end made me happy reading it

Happiness is not sold in the market, so if you can't get happiness with whom you are with, then you get happiness from who will give it to you freely

Happiness brings good health and overall joy

Your wife have pushed you to the wall and now she is acting all the good woman character because she has realized that you are now less worried about her madness, meaning that you have found happiness outside her but she can't prove whom the woman is, she actually knows that there is a woman behind your inner mind happiness

Incase you don't know, love doesn't stay where there is fire, it stays where there is peace

Your love have shifted ground and your heart have found a peaceful place to stay after wondering lonely, and making you go through depression and worries

I think you should still keep your relationship with her and whether you have touched her or not, you will definitely touch her one day and along the line it will lead to another pregnancy

Then you can now speak out to your family's and inlaws and tell them aeqhat you have passed through in your marriage what pushed you out and how it happened

After that leave the judgement for them

Thanks for your advice. This is what I thought before allowing myself to love the girl. I am thinking of asking my wife what led to this sudden change in character but I believe you because you are likewise a woman and you are talking from their point of view or what would be their state of mind in this situation. Once again thanks.

Nonexisting1:
If I were you, I'd pursue my happiness and damn the consequences because I don't give a fucck but I know you do. So wait until another sapa hold you and the Jezebel you have at home turn tiger again. She has already threatened to kill you if you cheat on her abi? I'm tempted to type RIP to you in advance but I will subdue that temptation. Well, enjoy your marriage brother.

What then do you advice I should do?

LordIsaac:
If you will believe me, then listen: the other woman is just a creation of your imagination, as your brain is looking for an experience it was once fed with. I speak from experience, the other lady is just good for making you happy (you may have met a good human being), don't ruin it with the illusion of marriage!

So I should just keep her as a friend and not go further than that. It will be difficult because i now love her. But anyways, I will take a break and desist from loving for now. Thanks for your advice.

Tboymessiah:
NasoLifeBe!!!

Believe this story at your perils

It is a true story of my life. I came because things have become complicated for me to handle alone. The advice I get here will help me make the right decision because I have less time to make a decision on who to leave.

Demigod22:
As NYSC serving Corp member, anytime I checked my account balance, I always lose my ability to love. I congratulate those NYSC guys doing love without money.

About your story, whom the gods want to destroy, they first made mad.

Lols. You didn’t say much but I get your message.

Shagbatshagba:
firstly u fell in love with a woman in the space of how many months,and she was in love with another man later on she recipocrated the love due to ur kindness towards her and u sing for her and the likes....now ur carelessness resulting to pregnancy whereas u were just blinded by emotions to study her..of course she might be behaving lyk this during nysc which u did nt know now she treats u lyk trash after u guys are married now u are in love with another woman

bro love comes and goes but for ur sanity and peace u bring the love. why not bring back what u do for her during nysc,do things before she plans on doing,resume ur kindness and sing mayb she might return the love back

now the new woman u are with now,u dnt knw her bad side u think she is good. hmmm....bro dnt be blinded by 1st impression. u are married u are married der is a saying that dnt start what u cant finish

with ur story without the other party’s who knows whether u are to be blamed though...

God bless and peace

Thanks. If I am to blame she will not suddenly change overnight because she will obviously be reciprocating my bull shits. I brought this to this forums because it has become too much and complicated. So I will need to be guided by unbiased opinions. I will give her a second chance and see how it goes. Once again thanks for your advice.

H0didon:
I'm blunt so ama tell you the f*cking truth .
As a SIMPle man that you're, you bleeped up right from the beginning. And this is the more reason why i keep advising my guyz to play with their brain and not just their heart alone.

That first woman wasn't the right one for you but because of your lack of patience and unwise decision, you decided to settle for someone that wasn't single when you met her. Not only was she f*cking someone else when you met her, but she also gave you condition in order for her to return the love (Love is unconditional) but because you are a simp, you failed to see it. At least as a fresh corper, she suppose understand you.

Secondly, the present chick is exactly like the first because i see no reason why a reasonable lady would date a married man. The only difference is the fact that the style and packaging is different . And if you don't try to manage your marriage and stay contented, it'll destroy you. Afterall, nobody forced you to marry her.


Lastly, to be honest, you're not a serious man, because it is expected of you to build yourself and be very comfortable rather than trying to prostitute ur dick around .


As our Ancestors would say "If you don't learn from your mistakes than you are no better than an fool".

Comrade your violence is too much for me but you are correct save for your view that I am not a serious person. I am pretty okay for my age. I have most of what I need in life currently but it’s just that sometimes situations changes. It can happen to anybody. I will take your advice and swallow it like a bitter pill. Once again thanks.

Blunttruth:
Never find happiness in sin. Find happiness in Godly things. Why didn't you go and hangout with your friends,or find happiness with your kids, or your job, or church activities. What is bad is bad. You have to man up and be honourable. End all associations with the second woman. You now know your wife's weak point. It's for better for worse. You should both involve God in your marriage and study his word together as a family. Things will be better, and for now stop breeding kids, face the ones you have and take care of them.
Don't think the love the second woman is showing is genuine and don't go and lose guard and then she poisons your family because you think she is perfect and loves your kids. Put an end to it now the longer you wait the more difficult.

Thank you. I have been far away from God because I came to feel I need to live a free life. I tried forming holy 4 years after our marriage but it seems the moment she feels I don’t have choice she doubles her wahala. This gave me constant headache. That was before I thought of having an alternative woman. I am still yet touch any woman but I just wanna be happy no matter the cost.

SenecaTheYonger:
Hmm… Let’s have a philosophical moment.

Why did joy and normalcy return to your house when you found attention elsewhere? Could it be that you were demanding attention from your wife when you were not about to provide?

Could it be that once you found attention and care (cause I won’t call that love) outside your marriage, you stopped looking for it at home, hence prompting your wife to behave?

Could it be that just starving your wife of attention could have worked without needed to engage this other woman outside?

Also why are you not afraid of this new woman changing just like your NYSC girlfriend changed? Will you test her to see her other side? Or did you not learn anything from your past experience?


We’ll be back shortly after the break.

My brother till now I still do not know what changed her. I know it is not about the money because she knew I was expecting money in dollars. I think I will pause and watch her for now before making any further conclusion.

emmybodunde:
I understand how you feel and it's normal bro! Don't leave your wife but with the looks of it, if that money finishes again she would still give you he'll in the house it's a normal behaviour of women. The lady you in love with outside would do the same thing bro if she was in your wife's shoes.

Bro hustle harder and find a strong financial footing which can sustain your home and after you would be surprised that you can even marry 10 wives ( am just saying o! Before the ladies in the house have my head for it).

At this point you can hardly take care of wifey and you are falling in love outside; that love outside comes with a price too don't be deceived. Unestly focus on financial stability at this point bro.

Thanks a lot. I agree with you. It now appears to me all women are the same. I will buy her a car and see whether it will change anything. Once again thanks

Moh247:




King Solomon was the wisest man in the Bible and Quran even Jewish Torah

He had side chick..

Abraham is the father of all religion he had side chick too

Am sure your ancestors had side chick too


You have the right to happiness even if you are poor and if someone is offering that happiness atleast try it out .. just becareful


.

Thanks. I will still keep in touch with her and continue with my wife.

JOACHINpedro:
100yrs ko, 600yrs ni
I don't comment on marriage matters but what I clearly see as someone who is not in love is what I will tell you, i.e your relationship with that present girl is exactly the type of relationship you started with your wife.
-the two ladies were in another relationship
-They both Loved fancied you cus you were a shoulder that can be cried on, cus of the shortcoming of their bf (the present one was charitable enough to tell you).
- the two ladies wished circumstances were not there but somehow they still won't let go of you(immaturity pro max)



My verdict- Your love life is messed up from time immomerial
My Advice- Go back to your wife cus na her version 2pro you don fall for again. And again, register for yoga, believe me you need it

Thanks a lot. I will give her a second chance.

libertyfather:
Alert and be careful they are all the same,she's nice because she's out the box she will also do the same if she gets inbox, anyway your wife has done you nothing because if she really torment ur life you will stop seeing the diff in them

The torment was much. It continued for a full year. I am still young but at a point each time she comes back from work, my heart starts beating in fear or I will say anxiety of the next wahala she will forment. I will take your advice and give her a second chance.