₦airaland Forum

Enny2013:
Was dis nt d way u were in luv wt ur wife back den during NYSC? was she not loving and comforting bfr she changed?
Look bfr u leap,bro. Every woman with her own palava!!!
U ar married,face ur family.

Thanks for the advice. But what if she resumes her wahala again. Where will I run to. Crying in beer parlor again?. I am not that very strong to bear all these. But I will give it a second chance.

luizpippo:
Peace came to your home because you can now afford to do the needful, not because of the girl or that your wife changed.


If you return to the state of lack, your wife's true color will return.

You could marry the girl and she would give you double dose of problems like her senior colleague.


Nothing is cast in stone.

You are correct my brother. This life is quite funny. But do you advise I end whatever I have with the girl and move on with my wife? But I am afraid she may bring back he’ll because when she was doing this, she knew I was expecting some dollars. I think it’s not about the money but her character. I am just confused.

slan87:
Pls be careful, don't fall into another trap thinking you are falling in love. Women are all the same, use your brain.

Thanks for this

LogicBomb8:
Ur just infatuated bro relax it will pass

I just hope so. I also hope, I don’t resume the hell I was going through before I met this girl.

Carcholce:
Mr Lawyer,

You should be the one to judge this matter for us.

Lol but it’s serious. In life it is always good to be guided by a second opinion. I may not be able to make a right decision in my current state.

phemmyfour:
Give it time, you LL see her true color just like your first wife. Then you can make comparison

Thanks for the advice.

This is truth. Many so called big boys in Abuja are currently passing through this.

Hello nairaland, I need your candid advice on this matter.

I am in my early 30’s. I am married and have been so married for 5 years now but I look very young like a single dude. Going back in time, it was the year 2017 during my youth service. I met this girl in my place of primary assignment. I got attracted to her and approached her for a date but she refused and maintained we could be good friends. She said I was not ready or rich enough to marry her. But as time went by, before the end of my service, I fell in love with her and she quite liked me but was dating another guy. Gradually, we started staying together as if we were dating. I was always with her, told her stories, sings for her while she cooks and assisted her in the kitchen. She could not resist my kindness, gentle disposition and above all my innocently handsome looks. She confessed that I am a husband material and wished I was rich enough to marry her. But poor me, I was a youth corper with only 20k salary and 19k allawee. In one of my romantic fits, I declared that in no distant time, I will marry her and I prayed about it. I never knew she was in love with another man. Fast forward till towards the ending of youth service, I made love with her and after passing out parade, she broke the news that she is pregnant for me. I had no job then but that evening I proposed to her without ring ( I had no money to buy ring). She was afraid because she does not want to disgrace her family by giving birth outside wedlock and so she agreed to marry me but we did not have enough money. Even with her own money combined, we cannot do a Traditional wedding and pay our house rent. I broke the news to my dad and knelt down and begged him in tears to support us so that we could successfully get married and settle down. Luckily for me My dad agreed and said that the baby in her womb is his blood and he cannot abandon it in another mans land. That I will marry her and she will give birth to his grandchild. He made some calls and sold one of his lands, divided the money in half and gave me to do a befitting wedding and settle down. I met the family of the girl who at that time did know about the pregnancy and with a bottle of Champagne told them I came to ask for their daughters hand in marriage. The mum accepted me but the dad had reservations as to whether I was buoyant enough to take care of his lovely daughter. But he finally made a remark “ he who do not have today, will have tomorrow” and gave us his blessing. I took her out and we professed love for each other. In the course of the wedding preparation, she lost the baby. After the baby was gone, we assured each other we will go ahead with the wedding because we love each other not because she was pregnant.
The wedding was a success and we relocated and started life in another state. It was hard for us initially but I got a job and things became fine.

Along the line she became pregnant again and gave birth to my son. After some time my salary was no longer enough for us. This was how insults found its way into the marriage. she insults and disrespect me at the slightest provocation. She calls me a failure whenever I cannot afford some things we need in the house. At a point my son’s school threatened to send them away from school in 2 days time if I don’t pay their fees. As a result my wife mounted so much pressure on me to look for money but I could find none. I pleaded with her that I was expecting some money in two week’s time from a deal I did but she gave me the insult of my life that day. Because of this I went and borrowed money from someone I was not supposed to meet for money. The insults continued and the disrespect persisted. At any slightest mistake I make in the house, she will rain down insults and threats on me. At one point she threatened to kill me if I cheated on her. As a result of the insults, I lost the love I had for her. The house became a hell to me. I lost my phone and could not buy another phone. I resorted to borrowing people’s phone to use their watsapp to do business calls. Sometimes, my wife refuses to give me her phone to use to speak to some clients. It became obvious, am no longer happy. Even my children started noticing it. The way she forments quarrels over trivial issues in the house and uses words that breaks my heart. At a point, I resumed smoking and drinking inorder to find peace and happiness at least whenever I am high. It was not enough, I started looking for alternative to my happiness. Maybe if I carry another woman it will balance the equation. I would be able to get the joy I never had in the house and be able to bear insults from my wife because another person is giving me joy outside. On a fateful day, I met this girl in a taxi I entered to work. Beautiful, attractive and courteous. She liked me at first meeting and we exchanged contacts. First I was not serious with her until when the sadness in my home continued, I started going after her to get the happiness, I am missing in the house. From meetings with her, I found her very respectful, lively and playful. One could forget all his cares in a moment with her. She is industrious and always expresses her dreams and how she believe she will attain same. I invited her to have dinner date with me after office hour on a fateful day and she complied. During the dinner, I told her about myself and she told me about herself. I told her that all I need is happiness because I am sad and empty. She did not know I am married and she wondered why I said that. She was already waiting for me to ask her to date me so that she will quickly say yes. Because I love to be truthful in all things, I told her I am married but that I am not happy. I was surprised when she told me she liked me and would like to date me despite that fact. She told me she has a boyfriend but he is unserious. Both of us within a short time blended in such a way that we talk, play and act like siblings. It was as if we had been friends before. Although I meet her clandestinely, my love for her grew. I started planning her future with her. Each time we talk we look at each other passionately in the eyes and she said she wished we had met before I got married. The funny aspect of it is that I have come to love her so much that all I need from her is her presence and attention and I have no desire whatsoever to have sex with her. I am not just attracted to her sexually. Each time I see her I smile profusely and she too smiles profusely and we play like little children. We always wished there were no obstacles like my marriage. Because of her, my happiness came back. I was no longer sad and at home my wife noticed my new countenance and that I am no longer interested and started Changing. Above all, the money I was expecting came, for now I am okay. She easily got whatever she asked for in the house and currently she has completely changed (not sure if she is pretending or not). Currently I am happy. Currently the beautiful innocent girl I met is in a dilemma because she does not know my fate with her. I kept wishing i married her. She keeps wishing I were not married. I showed her my children’s pictures and she loved them and asked me about them always.

Sorry for the long story but I am in a dilemma. Please I need your advice, I now love her more than my wife. In fact I no longer love my wife, we just live strictly as legally married husband and wife and nothing more.
But I now love this girl so much that I am afraid of losing her because she is the one that gave me joy to be able to withstand the depression in my house. Now that peace has returned to my house what should I do. I don’t know whether my wife is pretending or she is fully changed. But I feel for the girl, I love her, she is someone I can live with for a 100 years without getting tired of loving her.

Please advice me. Please no insult and abeg don’t judge me, I have not touched her.

Opintiwa:
This one Na gathering of Asiwaju youths abi wetting

See veins, evidence of serious hardship and he is supporting tinubu.

Still waiting for the day Russia will nuke that wicked country called Britain.

Sue them and claim damages.

etrouble:
I hope you will not commit suicide after Tinubu humiliates Peter Giringori Pandora Obituary next year

Only by rigging nah.

oskopy:
Our problem in the south is yorubas.if they surrender the seat to the south east, how on earth will this Fulani clowns be talking this rubbish? But I believe can't succeed this time.

That is exactly my fear. If only the South West will throw their weight behind Peter Obi, his chances of winning will be high compared to Atiku. Yorubas must put aside tribalism and do the right thing. Obasanjo has since seen the hand writing in the wall and he definitely knows that endorsing Obi’s is the way forward. At least for once let’s try something new in this country.

This people are comedians. They always recover charms and army uniform from their raided. The ESN we saw their parade early last year is not as weak as this. Wait a minute, have they ever arrested and paraded armed herdsmen terrorizing the East in this manner?

tsdarkside:
i am surprised....
many nigerians have relatives in many tribes....

should we abandon them because igbos say soo....

Obviously not. But if we should split as a nation, it should not be bitter. There is no need for this unhealthy rivalry amongst tribes in Nigeria. It has not gotten us anywhere.

OP I am Igbo, I have ijaw, Urhobo nieces, nephews, most of the friends I grew up with are ijaw and they are good people (tribal politics aside). After ibibio, Ijaws are the closest to Igbo than any other tribe. Some ijaw clans have Igbo blood likewise some Igbo clans within the Niger Delta and so on. It is wrong to forment tribal hatred amongst this two tribe.

PROUDIGBO:
You’re flogging a dead horse in trying to lecture that bigoted cretin! He’s far gone down the road to perdition, driven by overwhelming bitterness and hate that’s eating him up, for your lecture to make any difference!

Enugu is comparatively a fine city when compared with its contemporaries (Ibadan and Kaduna) and has much less slum/unplanned areas than the two other aforementioned former regional capitals! This is despite the evil anti-Igbo political-economy instituted since the late 60s which has disproportionately favoured the Fulani and Yoruba elite and their regions over those of the Igbo! For instance, compare the federal presence (infrastructure, institutions and other projects) found in Kaduna with those found in Enugu and you’ll find both cities are miles apart with Kaduna having the edge!

Not been to Kaduna in years and never been to Ibadan, but it’s likely, given the political-economy i mentioned earlier, that both cities would have more grandiose public buildings and high-rise structures than Enugu….and even have a more impressive GRA where their political and entrepreneurial elite live. But overall, i reckons Enugu has more pleasant and well-planned areas as a percentage of the whole than Ibadan and Kaduna have!

Enugu is way better than Ibadan and Kaduna. Enugu is peaceful, friendly, accommodating, cool and serene especially Nsukka area. Filled with simple people. But for the hatred and segregation of Ndigbo, Enugu would have been an industrial heartland in the East. If you go to Emene, Coal camp, bunker you will find remnants of abandoned factories. Most especially coal camp where you find local manufacturers of any kind of spare parts. With the huge Natural resources we have here coal, natural gas, crude oil ( the government has been hiding but we know). There are some communities you will go to in the interior villages in Enugu, you find lots of evidence of huge presence of crude oil and natural gas. I once visited a village in Nkanu to investigate a case of abduction. It was deep in a forest with numerous farmlands and empty uncultivated fields. You walk distances before you find house. Whist on our way on foot you observe numerous dark substances coming out of the ground with heat of the sum, the heat intensifies, you will see it evaporates into tin air like fuel or gaseous compounds.

Enugu is so blessed, i have since learnt to be ignoring hate speech against Ndigbo because it is all born out of jealousy.

0bjpmb:
Most areas in enugu have rustic brown roofs just like obiagu. Abakpa, uwani, emene, coal camp, ngenevu, asata, ogui, etc,are even worse

By what you say I can bet you have not spent a day in Enugu. I have stayed in These areas as mentioned by you. This places are the ghettos or “ogbes” that we have in Enugu. I have stayed in Emene, I have stayed in coal camp, bunker, ngenevu, ogui , uwani. This is where the poorest people stay in Enugu. These places records the highest crime rate in Enugu. Coal camp isn’t even supposed to be a residential area because it was temporary apartment built to house coal workers during the colonial era. Likewise most of the houses in Ogui or Asiata they were built by colonial masters as staff quarters.
You can’t sit somewhere in Lagos and be talking about Enugu State. Go there yourself and do your findings.

0bjpmb:
Most areas in enugu have rustic brown roofs just like obiagu. Abakpa, uwani, emene, coal camp, ngenevu, asata, ogui, etc,are even worse

These places are where the ordinary people live in Enugu. You refused to mention GRA, Independence layout, new haven, Nike lake, zoo estate, liberty estate, thinkers corner, WTC etc. Just as you don’t judge Lagos by going to take shots in Ajegunle in the same way you don’t judge Enugu by going to slums in Obiagu, Abakpa, Ngenev, uwani to take pictures.

Enugu is very fine. I have stayed there for over 20 years. It is very funny someone who have not set a foot in Enugu will be telling us about Enugu State.

Always gets lost in thoughts. You maybe addressing me for over 30minutes whilst am lost in thoughts until I somehow realize and wake up. I have tried so hard to bring myself back reality. Sometimes people don’t notice this about me.

Liquidpenis:
Every human like better thing.

You can't compare tinubu Lagos to obi Anambra, it common sense.

I would rather be a slave in Lagos than a king in the eastern slum called analmbra.

Tinubu for president of the federal republic of Nigeria.

APC ..... change.

Indeed, Politicians has turned this one to a goat.

Of course south east tackled their drug problems with the urgency it required. This is why it is the lowest in this statistics.

EmperorHadrain:
You fool, in ten years time, if the jew bastards have their way , you will either be long dead or a slave to one of them.

Useless godforsaken kike worshipping fake christian.

How you idiots came to reconcile christianity with Judas worship can only be explained by your total lack of sense.


You are no christian but a kike worshipping slave

Get out from this thread with your keg of ignorance

My brother please lower the vawulence.

Op these goats and whoress are trying to crucify u becos u just spoke the popular and bitter truth.who doesnt know igbo women are naturally born prostitues especialy for money .



I'm waiting for those goats and prostitues to quote me

Na your village people and entire family, your mama, your papa and all your siblings be both he goat, she goat, prostitutes. Idiot. People will wake up in the morning without any job, instead of making yourself useful to the society, you are here thinking of a tribe you will insult. Spits.

FreeStuffsNG:
Now compare to Senator Shettima's speech and you will realise that HE Obi is mediocre. Nobody will believe that his 8-year reign as Anambra Governor is bereft of legacies he can use to campaign. Haba!! Definitely his speech seems like he was the author of the Book of Lamentations yet no solution or antecedents he could use to campaign.

Nigerians will not vote for mediocrity. Completely mediocre that come 2031, if he contests against the then sitting VP Shettima, he will still lose.
check my signature for freebies!

Make una carry this una ancestor commot from here.
If you were not able to pick anything from what Obi said, then your education if any is a waste.

AllTheWayUp:
U are right
Atiku focuses more on solutions to Nigerian challenges whenever he is being interviewed, Obi on the other hand, when he is being interviewed, focuses and spend too much time on speaking about the problems without proffering solutions and how he intend to employ those solutions to tackle those challenges, Obi has to change the direction of his campaign to focus on solutions, that is how you sell your candidature convincingly to the electorates and the undecided voters

Peter Obi’s message has been loud and clear. He will move Nigeria from consumption to production. This is one of the first solution to Nigeria problem. Imagine if we use the enormous arable lands in the North to cultivate and export grains, you know the effect that it will have in Nigeria economy.

Omoslim26:
Ok oo but what I can assure you is that every unauthorized gun wielding criminals claiming freedom fighters be you ipob or ugm or esn or kidnapper or fulani killer will continue to be hunted down in SE.
Facts.

Provided they do the same to armed Fulani bandits terrorizing the south east on daily basis.

comodo:
Good news. Very good news. Pls they should move to Umunneochi in Abia state. The kidnapping there no be child's play. Let them go and do the needful there.

They will never go there because they are Fulani herdsmen. People must have sense in this country. They will only go after ESN. If the government fight Fulani terrorists the way they fight ESN, insecurity would have ended a long time ago. How I wish they will employ the same energy in fighting Fulani terrorist wrecking havoc in the South East, there will not be any need to travel by flight.

Omoslim26:
Every gun wielding bastard be you ipob, dss killers, esn, kidnappers,ugm, fulani killers, ritualist,drug dealers in the blessed SE must be crushed.

At least they are helping the SE to get rid of kidnappers and ritualists in the name of fighting ESN. The real ESN don’t use pump action. In times to come the SE will be the most secured region in Nigeria.

Ebi2233:
Ijaws own Lagos.
Ijo-rah is Ijaw.

Eko is actually Ukoruama an Arogbo village they call � it Uko for short.
Later corrupted to Eko.
Til today Eko have no meaning in Yoruba.

Jainkrama Ama means town in Ijaw.
The Jain people town.
Till today it has no meaning in Yoruba.


Idumu ugbo. Is the land that Ijaw farm cocoyam meaning cocoyam farm in Ijaw.

Corrupted to Idumuagbo.
Same with Idumuota.
Idugaran is where Ijaw plant pepper its called pepper farm.
Till today Apapa have no meaning in Yoruba.
It's Ijaw word for groundnut when they were transporting groundnut from kano through lagos no crude oil then.

Who do you think sold all these land to Ijaws in Ajegunle?
Its their Ijaw relations the Iganmu, Ijaw-ra etc groups.


The Ijaw people of which were the Ijaw-ra and Iganmu clan among others name the place Apapa port meaning groundnut port.
You can't talk of true Epe History with out Ijaw.
Same with Badagry.

Check king koko of Nembe and king kosoko of Lagos dressing.
Same cap similar clothing same walking � stick.

Takwabay is Ijaw too.

An Igbo dialect calls groundnut “Opapa “
Farm in igbo language is “Ugbo”
“Ama” is likewise town or place in Igbo language

Those words maybe borrowed from Igbo language

Taking my first lessons as fresh redpillar. OP we gona need handouts and assignments.