Seriously what will be your advise to our presido...especially on topical issues like
Boko haram
Amaechi
ASUU
Youth empowerment_very important
Power and infrastructure
Etc etc

Big belly
Bad habits
Mouth odour
Smelly feet or mouth
Dirtiness
Not romantic
Arrogance
Etc

That I am not handsome

Please am beta dan wot u see

Pweedylipsmoi: Not too fair nd not too dark, tall, chubby [not too chubby], pink nd nice lips, handsome, finally lovely eyes, i always love it wen a guy can smile with his eyes.

Then I am for u

An apple
You can't go wrong with an apple. A healthy,
low fat, low calorie food, an apple is packed
with fibre and vitamins and counts as one of
your five fruit and vegetables a day.
And, according to a recent study, an apple a
day can actually keep other calories at bay. If
you eat an apple fifteen minutes before a
main meal, you'll consume 190 calories less
than you would have otherwise. Also, solid
fruit fills you up more than fruit juice, despite
having less calories, so stick to an actual
apple instead of the juice (which comes in at
100 calories per 200ml glass).
Calorie count: 55

Banana
Bananas are fairly calorific as far as fruit is
concerned, but they do not contain fat,
sodium or cholesterol. They are fantastic for
energy, as no other fruit contains more
digestible carbohydrates.
Bananas are also said to boost metabolism
and elevate your mood. Not only that, they're
high in resistant starch, which is a type of
fibre that makes you feel full. Just remember
to put it at the top of your bag and eat before
it goes black and gets squished.
Calorie count: 95 (small banana) 125 (large
banana).

A glass of wine
A couple of glasses of wine contains the same
amount of calories as a slice of chocolate
cake, and has no nutritional value. Watch out
for gu- busting bar snacks too; a bag of pork
scratchings contains a whopping 607
calories, 411 from fat alone. Yikes.
Calorie count: 510 (bottle of red) 555 (bottle
of white). 120 calories (medium glass of red)
120 calories (medium glass of white).

An egg
Unless you're mixing up a bizarre hangover
cure after all that wine you put away, chances
are you won’t fancy a raw egg. But if you did
eat one, a raw egg would contain 85 calories.
The calories in an egg also vary from the
white to the egg yolk. The egg white contains
12 calories per egg, while the yolk contains
54 calories. So, if you’re counting calories,
avoid the yolk and eat the white only.
Calorie count: 140 (large scrambled egg with
milk), 74 (large poached egg), 80 (boiled egg),
120 (fried egg).

A cup of tea
A teabag in hot water = zero calories. What's
not to love? The only way you can make a cup
of tea a calorie counter’s nightmare is by what
you put in it. Lashings of sugar and whole
milk or cream will add unnecessary calories
to your brew.
Another bonus to drinking tea (without the
sugar and milk) is that it contains caffeine,
which increases metabolism and helps burn
calories for those Bourbon Creams you can't
resist when you put the kettle on.
Calorie count: 30 (tea plus one tsp sugar and
one tsp milk), 15 (tea plus two tsp milk).

A jacket potato
Don't be fooled into thinking that a jacket
potato is the healthy option on the lunch
menu. At 160 calories, it is OK on its own,
but once you dollop butter and a fistful of
cheese on the top, you may as well have a
portion of chips! A jacket potato with a small
knob of butter and 100g of cheese plus beans
will actually amount to almost half of your
required daily calorie intake.
If you do opt for a jacket potato, choose low
fat toppings like cottage cheese, which will be
350 calories in total, or a portion of tuna with
low-fat mayonnaise which tots up to around
370 calories.
Calorie count: 600 (jacket potato plus small
knob of butter and 100g cheese), 800 (butter,
cheese and beans).

A shot of vodka
Vodka is said to be a slimming tipple because
if you drink it with calorie-free mixers and
lime, you can have two and still be
consuming less calories than is in a small
glass of wine.
If you prefer to drink cocktails containing
vodka, watch out for the calorie content in
fruit juice. Most cocktails come in at around
250 calories per drink, but if you choose a
Bloody Mary, you’ll only be taking in 140
calories because tomato juice has less sugar
content than fruit juice. Be careful of
flavoured vodkas – depending on the brand,
each shot can be between 60 and 100
calories.
Calorie count: 55 for a shot

A Mars bar
A Mars a day helps you work, rest and… put
on a lot of weight. You'd need to walk for over
an hour to burn off a 58g bar alone -
sounding less appealing now?
And if your hand slipped at the sweet counter
and you bought a king size one by mistake
and gobbled the whole thing up yourself,
you’d be eating a hefty 425 calories, which is
almost a quarter of your required daily
calorie intake when you're not trying to lose
weight.
If you do indulge in a Mars, don’t be tempted
to have it deep-fried from the chip shop. A
battered bar contains over 500 calories and
has been dubbed a 'heart attack on a plate'.
Calorie count: 260 (for a 58g bar).

A pint of lager
Ever wondered why so many men have an
unsightly potbelly bursting open their shirt
buttons? The answer may very well lie in the
calories contained in the nation's favourite
drink – a pint of lager.
In just one pint of lager, there’s the same
number of calories as in a slice of pizza. In
two pints there’s the equivalent amount
calories to a full glass of single cream. If
yo'’re a lager drinker, stick to half pints so
you drink one pint over a longer period, and
choose light beers that are less calorific.
Calorie count: 280 per pint

mufex: "Forget about it" Donnie Brasco

mufex: "Forget about it" Donnie Brasco

na wa oh

tenx

life is challenging. There is a reason your poor
family decided to pool resources to send you to
Law School. They didn’t send you there to take the
long route – serving some stingy senior lawyer or
law firm for 5-10 years before you can afford to
make it on your own. I will treat the issue of
stingy senior lawyers another day.
When people ask me how it feels like to be a
lawyer, I often save them from the
disappointment that the truth is sure to give
them; I shrug, smile and add to whatever mystery
already exists in their head.
But you, my faithful reader – especially you, the
new lawyer or law student – I will tell the truth. I
want you to, at least, like your banker colleagues,
be able to afford to pay your own rent and buy a
clean second hand car in the first to second year
after your call to the Nigerian Bar.
Register your private law firm as soon as you
finish and print your letter head and
complimentary cards. Your cards especially
should have your full and imposing title:
Barrister and Solicitor of the Supreme Court of
Nigeria. I mean a lawyer knows that’s all hot air
but to a non-lawyer it makes you seem like you
learnt under Saint Paul himself and have your
office right in the Supreme Court. Hustling must
start immediately, whether you work in a law firm
or not.
Learn how to eavesdrop on people’s conversation
for any possible legal services they may need.
Somebody’s wife was slapped. Apologise for
butting in, then quickly inform them that under
our legal system, that is a crime called assault.
You are a lawyer and you can help them. By help,
you mean take their money. If they look at you
funny, whip out your card. They will see that full
title, which is a killer. Suddenly you will appear
more intelligent, more important.
When you walk into a big store, don’t just buy
stuff and leave. If you can see the manager, ask if
they have registered their business with the
Corporate Affairs Commission. Company
registration is a no-brainer. Yes, serious lawyers
snub it but what do you care? Offer to register
their business for less than what your colleagues
charge. The idea is turn over. If you have many
companies to register at the same time, it won’t
matter that you are charging less (and spoiling
business for other hustling lawyers).
You must never ignore police stations. There is
always money to be made there. Anyone who
calls you a charge and bail lawyer, God will judge
them harshly. Take keen interest in the affairs of
your neighbours. There is always someone
dragging someone to the police station or
someone being arrested for something. Don’t
wait until you are called. Go there and offer your
services. Trouble is your business.
The art of securing bail is one that only the
streetwise can handle. No one will teach you that
in school. They teach you crap like “bail is free”
and “no one must be held for more than 24
hours without charge”. Bah! The Police in Nigeria
don’t care what you’ve been taught, in fact, the
more legal you get, the more complicated things
get for your prospective client. And trust me there
is nothing worse than messing up a neighbour’s
case. You don’t want to be sneaking into your
own neighbourhood at odd hours. I have only, in
my four years of legal practice, secured one free
bail. And that was only because the DPO was on
the Investigating Police Officer’s (IPO) case for
something else. I cashed in on his confusion and
by the time he realised I was not going to give
him any money, my client had been released and
bond papers signed. He, however, took me to the
side and gave me a good talking to: “Na you make
your client no give us anything abi?”
Moral of the story? Common sense is more
useful than law inside a Police Station. You have
no friends inside a Police Station. Bail is hardly
ever free.
You must learn to negotiate with the IPO firmly,
respectfully and pragmatically. Learn this and you
will become hot cake in your community, making
so much money that you won’t care if anyone
calls you charge and bail.
To avoid the stereotypical look of the struggling
Nigerian Lawyer – shirts that were once white,
shoe soles eaten to a 45 degree angle, a heavy
tattered bag containing everything from your wig
and gown to dozens of company registration
forms and affidavit forms – you need to also be
an estate agent. You must befriend as many
landlords as you can so that you will have
signboards reading “TO LET” on as many empty
houses as possible.
Look for people trying to sell houses or land and
help them aggressively market it. You never know
which 10% commission will take you
permanently out of poverty. When you have sold
that expensive house and ride home in a Range
Rover Sport (with NBA stickers in front and
behind) no one will bother if you ever go to court
or not. Your neighbours will hail you as you drive
past: ‘Barristaa!’
It is no surprise that struggling lawyers are the
most hated in their families. The reason is
simple. After supporting you morally and
otherwise to become a lawyer, the least they
expect from you is to make reasonable
contributions at family events and send money
into their accounts when they call you.
God forbid that you become a struggling Nigerian
lawyer. Follow my advice and your family and
neighbours will think you are the best thing since
point-and-kill. As always, God bless your hustle

Mine is a combo of sexuality, romance, and health with food

I wil luk for ma thread and needle and start sewing

lerryluv1: u need to go back to skool dude

Serzly ure I.q na single digit

;DDere is sumtin about dis op that aint cool abeg recheck your packaging

Women's English:
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should
be obvious by now
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you slowpoke!
You're so manly = You need a shave and you
sweat a lot
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby
thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new
house
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and
furniture, and wallpaper
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost
asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something
expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something
today you're going to hate
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and
find a good game on TV
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree
with me
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead]
Men's English:
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually
like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like
to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to
have sex with you
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to
have sex with you
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I
want to handle you
What's wrong? = What stupid self inflicted
psychological trauma is it now?
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the
question
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let's have sex now!
I love you, too = Okay, I said it, Now can we have
sex
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it
better before
Let's talk = I'll impress you by showing you I am a
deep guy then maybe sex?
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for
you to have sex with others

Are u high....

finally....i taught I was the only one seeing the impotency of mavin

Mine is ist of june, in port harcourt, any Phcity in d building?

Believe in urself or not if u ar fine u ar fine nd if u ar ugly u ar ugly...simple

Too long wit little meaning