tnktosin: Interesting.. subscribed.

Welcome sir

Plus the more users suscribe the more we can be heard

I have been around for a while, and noticed that nl users dont have a united front in respect to making demands to our ogas @ d top......like I have noticed that you dont know if u hve been quoted or not, no deactivate button and many other stuffs. So i thought perhaps the users should have a union were we can come and make suggestions, complains etc for the greater success of the forum
Ps: this is a serious thread that could be fun too.

sexkillz: How many African men have you met? Abi you count the ones Wey you dey watch for African magic join, ba?

Abeg, find better work do.

Mtchewwww....and they say u are a mod

op oya lie down let me cook you...and eat

Plz rsust students should com nd give us outline fr year 1 law
Name: michael
Fresher

Ps: any other useful info will be apreciated

I love you talk yur own

[b][/b]I see a world warI see a world war

[b][/b]I see a world warI see a world warI see a world war

In patience voice.....this people pishur that are put near me are making us look like wee be equals......

Welcome to the Plenty Talk No Action School of
Political Science. Take your seat please, as I begin
my lecture, endeavour to turn off all mobile
phones.
How to be a politician? It’s not so difficult, all you
have to do is follow a set of unofficial rules.
These rules are not codified in any legal
document, but that does not, by any means,
mean they do not exist. Being the Good
Samaritan/ political science teacher that I am, I
will carry out a civic obligation and lay them bare
for all aspiring politicians. I present ‘How to be a
Politician 101’.

1. TALK THE TALK
Learn the prevalent parlance. Make yourself a pro
at making empty promises. These days, that is
not as hard as it should be. You don’t even have
to be believed, we’d still think you’re lying
anyway. Honesty is not a prerequisite for the job,
so do well to do away with it. Learn how to tell
white-faced lies while placing your hands on a
holy book. Asides this, you will also need to
master a couple of phrases that are appropriate
for different situations.
When something a bomb explodes: We shall do
our best to bring the perpetrators to book.
When you’re launching an obviously overpriced
project: Today is a great day in the history of
this nation/state
When you’re flogged in the media for obvious
ineptitude: This is the work of my detractors.
While campaigning, your key words should be
change, transformation and restoration. If
you’re inexperienced, don’t break a sweat, it’s
easy to learn, just watch the primetime news or
read the national dailies for indirect coaching
from the professors in the industry. It is of
cardinal importance that your dictionary does not
have the words- sincerity, efficiency or
transparency. Replace those with stakeholders,
contractor, off shore accounts and detractors.

2. SPEND THE MONEY
Before you go ahead and spend all the money
you can lay your hands on, on things we will
never lay our hands on, you must first follow the
custom of probing the outgoing government. Next
step, go ahead and award outlandish contracts to
build invisible airports, imaginary roads and
imperceptible factories. It is imperative that the
contracts are awarded to companies that do not
exist in our directories or in real life. Please do
not disregard this critical point, a deviation from
which will earmark you as an enemy of progress
amongst other politicians. Proceed to appoint
people into posts based on your years of
friendship, alliances and their funding of your
campaign. Pay absolutely no attention to their
qualifications, the media will make noise about it,
don’t mind them. They always do that. The less
qualified your appointees are, the better your
excuse after they inevitably fail to perform, but
nonetheless, when you win a second term,
appoint the same people. The media? Forget
them, I’ve told you that’s all they know how to do!

3. MAKE ENEMIES
This part is very easy. Make enemies, why?
Because you need somebody to blame when
things go awry, why else? Who did you think that
word ‘detractor’ in your special English- Politics
Translations Dictionary referred to? Enemies are a
vital cog of your government; underestimate their
essence at your own peril. If a project goes bad,
your enemies are at work. When newspapers
publish concrete evidence of your financial
dubiety, it’s the work of your enemies. When you
contest and win ‘free and fair’ elections and word
goes around that you got under-aged voters
involved in the electoral process, it’s those
restless enemies of yours again. What about the
devil? Let the devil be, too many people blame
him already.

4. GET A FIRST LADY
This step is of two parts. A. Get yourself a First
Lady. B. Make her come up with a pet project.
Don’t ask me why, ask why not. After all, all your
predecessors did same; it’s just what First Ladies
do. There are some attendant principles to this
however. It has to be related to something
humanitarian so we think she’s serious. Child
abuse, Child Trafficking, Women Trafficking are
all areas of concentration but take note, the fields
of House-girl Abuse and Gateman Abuse remain
yet uncharted courses, if you strive for
philanthropic novelty, I recommend those. Next,
she must organize a fund-raising event via an
elaborate media campaign. Invite your friends,
not those useless old secondary school mates,
we’re talking big men here. Make them donate
handsomely while expecting a contract in
reciprocity and when it’s all said and done, erase
every single evidence and trace of the foundation/
charity or whatever name you append to it and
make sure we never hear of it again. Done?
Perfect.

5. KNOW YOUR ALPHABETS
Actually, you don’t need to know all of them,
some are more important than others. A stands
for ALLOCATION, be familiar with that, it’s
essential. B stands for BOKO HARAM, if you know
what’s good for you, stay away from beer
parlours. C is for CONTRACT. Of course! What
else could it be for? D is for Deziani Allison-
Madueke, don’t mess with her, many have tried,
none has succeeded. E doesn’t stand for
Efficiency, that word does not exist. Fast forward
to P, which stands for Profit Sharing, some silly
holier-than-thou idiots will say it stands for
Pension, what’s your business with that? And
finally Z stands for Zoning, there’s a system in
place ok? Unless you’re a shoeless boy from
Bayelsa, you have to abide by it.
Well, that’s the end of our lecture, wear your Fila,
roll up your Agbada, go out there and make your
party proud! Remember to appoint me as a
Special Adviser of something-something affairs,
so I can sit in a palatial office, do nothing and
still somehow make enough money to make our
enemies jealous.

$wtme:
Why shouldn't one drink water in btw meals n why shouldn't one eat fruits when d belly is full,I don't get it

So that your belle go small

Plz my stomach is realy realy big....i have bin exercisin 30 mins almost evryday fr 5months now nd I eat realy small meals no junk hardly any sugar nd lots of water although my clothes feel lose and stuff the scale has hardly moved and my stomach still almost the same size and am 18..seriously aint this the age when am supposed to be able to lose fat easily Wonder what will happen wen am 40

Nice

Low carb!!! I ate rice garri etc etc and stil lost weight

Only hAppens wen d lappy is chinese

seun come and see what they have turned youur nairaland to fp is like ikejis blog

adaobi123: Lol

adaobi123: Lol

Adaobi123

Hi everyone

Last week ear wax blocked my middle ear had to dissolve it with drugs..trust me it was not cool

D stomach is cool tho

Cant you see apc chieftains there.....must u comment...fish brain

6. Farouk Aliyu – A senior member of the CPC
and a losing gubernatorial candidate from the
2011 election decided to engage Kuku in a
game of idiot stake by issuing the following
statement;
“Let me also use this opportunity to say on
behalf of us in the north that nobody has
monopoly of violence and that on behalf of the
people of northern extraction, there shall be no
one Nigeria if a northerner is not
elected president of this country, because
politics is a game of numbers and
the Ijaw people are not up to one million or two
million or even five million.
“So if in a democracy, the President will allow
somebody to say if he is not voted, there won’t
be peace – this clearly shows that they don’t
want peace and the president is not a
democrat.”

7. Junaid Mohammed – A retired doctor and an
elder Northern politician, threw down his own
gauntlet in the bid to be the most fearsome
chest-thumper in the cause for his own region
and ethnic group, and saw the following in
response to Kuku’s statement:
“As it stands today, anybody who imagines that
he will build Nigeria in spite of the wishes of
the North is dreaming. We are not lousy, we are
decent and quiet people, we only talk when we
have to. We said, look, this is getting
embarrassing and does it mean that without the
South we cannot survive? That without the so-
called oil or without Lagos we cannot survive.
And does it mean everything produced in Lagos
is consumed by Lagosians? Go and check your
facts.
“On the whole, we will be better off if push
comes to shove, we will go our way because if
Nigeria breaks up, God forbid, Northern Nigeria
is the only zone that can remain one, the South
mainly the Yorubas will go their way, the Igbos
will go their way.”

8. Asari Dokubo – The rotund ex-warlord is
known for his inane utterances. He is,
unfortunately, not short of people willing to
shove a microphone in his general direction.
Below is an excerpt of the bile the creek general
has been spewing recently;
“We will match violence by violence. We will
match intrigues by intrigues. We will match
bullet by bullet. We will match blood by blood.
We are ready for them. Goodluck Jonathan will
complete his tenure of two terms whether they
(northerners) like it or not. To us, they don’t
even exist because we pay them. He who pays
the piper dictates the tune”

9. Olisa Metuh - National Publicity Secretary of
the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) recently
had quite a bit to say to Governor Adams
Oshiomole of Edo after the latter in a chat with
journalists called the PDP a party of rogues and
corrupt people. Of all he said, this hit below the
belt the most:
“Is Adams just realising how bad our party is
and was all the while he was begging for
membership?”

10. Doyin Okupe (again) - This time he was
talking down the merger of the Action Congress
of Nigeria (ACN), Congress for Progressive
Change (CPC) and the All Nigeria Peoples Party
(ANPP) to fuse into the All Progressives
Congress (APC). He described it as an
“incongruous alliance of political weaklings,
dysfunctional Lilliputians and repeatedly
frustrated political power mongers.”
To be honest we just put that in for the big
words.

The elections of 2015 have been prophesied to
be the most interesting Nigeria has seen, and
for a number of reasons. Most intriguing are
the comments some of the political players
have been making. From the insensitive, to the
brash, to the downright stupid, we present the
10 biggest mouths in Nigerian politics.

1. Doyin Okupe – The Presidential spokesman
is not known for shying away from a media
fight, Okupe (unsuccessfully) tried to paint the
criticism of GEJ the pardon given to ex-governor
Alamasiegha as ethnic bigotry by saying the
following;
“How come granting pardon to him has become
an aberration? Is it because he is from Bayelsa?
Is it from he is from South-South? Is it because
he is connected to Mr. President?”

2. Femi Fani-Kayode – The controversial ex-
minister has had a lot of time on his hands
since being out of power and has taken to
Twitter to express his opinion on the topical
matters in Nigeria. Watching the Presidential
Spokesperson, Rueben Abati, defend the
president’s controversial pardon of convicted
thief, Alamiyesiegha, he had this to say;
“I listened to @abati1990 on Channels today
talking about the state pardons and I must
confess that I have never heard such rubbish, I
am beginning to suspect that @abati1990 is the
biological product of a same-sex marriage. He
looks and sounds like the missing link.”

3. Pastor Tunde Bakare – The outspoken liberal
Pastor, who is a well-known critic of the current
political state of affairs has managed to
ostracize himself from the official opposition
when he was asked his thoughts on the (yet to
be registered opposition party) APC, the
erstwhile CPC Vice-Presidential candidate and
he said,
“If the devil becomes a Pastor, Nigerians will
attend his church because they don’t know the
true church and they cannot distinguish it from
the synagogue of Satan”.

4. General Muhammadu Buhari (rtd) – This is
one politician that needs to be most careful
with his public utterances, considering the
leadership position he enjoys in the opposition
party. GMB, as he is widely known offered these
ill-advised comments on May 14 2012, in
reference to the 2015 elections;
“If what happened in 2011 should again happen
in 2015, by the grace of God, the dog and the
baboon would all be soaked in blood.”

5. Kingsley Kuku, who is a Special Adviser to
President Goodluck Jonathan on South-South
and Niger Delta issues, recently made a
moronic statement about Nigeria’s prospect for
peace, failing a successful GEJ re-election
(suffice it to say that the president himself has
not admitted to being interested in another term
in office);
“Permit me to add that the peace that currently
prevails in the zone is largely because Dr.
Goodluck Jonathan, who is from that same
place, is the President of Nigeria. That is the
truth.”
“It is only a Jonathan presidency that can
guarantee continued peace and energy security
in the Niger Delta,
The attention and interest of the US in Nigeria
must remain the stability of the Niger Delta and
the easiest way to ensure this is to encourage
President Jonathan to complete an eight-year
term.
The agitators are prepared to patiently await
development as long as one of their own, Dr.
Jonathan remains the President, and I think this
is one thing the American government should
reflect seriously

Wike street in ph

Some girls will raise their yam legs up when
their mum is sweeping but go to their boyfriend's
house and be forming environmental sanitation.
- Why Won't Some Girls Have Spiritual Boyfriend
When they Sleep Naked? So You Think Those Evil
Spirits Don't Like Girls Too Abi?
- U Wear big tattoo like learners permit, paint lips
like Metro cab, nails like fuel nozzle, & U say u
want a God fearing man, God sef dey fear U.
- So because your picture no fine, you dey claim
say "Beauty is from within" why you NO take X-
ray do your profile pi

I knw y u left him