₦airaland Forum

QuiverBox:
I hope u have ur PVC?

Still trying to get it. Its so damn annoying in Enugu here.

hmmm.
GMB all the way. That Otueke fellow needs to be flung out.

Afrok:
Both are funny, but U can only think they're funny and laugh to their comic display when everything is well with U and U ar not frustrated under tension .

hahaha..... I dey telllllllllll you. lol.

Topaz201:
Please friends help me, I want to learn fashion designing; what shall i do?

Enrol in a fashion institute, its not so difficult.

EFOSAVAL:
Woooooo,after so many years ok not too long though maybe like 2years after my last post I stumble across this again.am so thrilled .I promise to post in regularly hence forth.check out my website www.valisimofashions.com I am a full fleshed fashion designer now

fledged.

talkout1:
Along ikotun road people are struggling and and fighting to do thier voter's registration, while some are there to collect.
People are here as early as 6.30am, just to get a front number, leaving there works and business yet not getting the opportunity to still do it. The copers doing the registraftion are colleting #20 from people to put down there details..

Even your diction is struggling..... hmmmm.

MrCork:
....me g@y?.....see yor ghana head like Somali made touch light...... Sweeery....do u realiaze how babes I can nyansh in a week?...

lol... Jobless you.

Seun:
The health minister is worried that if we are not extremely careful, Ebola could return to Nigeria in December when Nigerians all over the world come back home to celebrate Christmas and the new year. I think it is very smart that he is worried about this. That is his job. Some people will say he should not have said that in order to avoid panic, but I think it's better to put people on alert so they can be more vigilant.


http://www.punchng.com/news/nigeria-not-completely-free-from-ebola-minister/

True, hygiene rules need to be kept.

MrCork:
....see yor Ghana head like carrrot....was funnny about rit? ..

....are u light skin?

Lol.... seriously. Dude, rehab is the place for you.

MrCork:
....3 queen or 3 men's?

...are they light skin? (no offense)

Lol... the attention-seeking drama though. Are you gay? #justThinking.

vizkiz:
I am getting old now, i think its high time i distribute these plots of land to my children....

[b]to my 1st born rozzay, take this part of this land and use it as your palace when you get the crown of "Miss NL"




































































My 2nd born and my first son, toysne2much, use this one to build a branch of my company in this area, you can use the rest to create threads for "10 kinds" of anything you want





































































My 3rd born yungwizzzy, though you are very troublesome, but i can't give you as meal to a lion(interprete am )

Take this one and find something doing...if you like sell and use the money on stri*ppers





















































My 4th born andybomba, this your level of "craziness" needs to move to the permanent site...i found one for you









































5th born naijaboiy, i hear say na fine boy you dey do for school but as a good father, i have to support my son

Take this plots of land and start a modeling school






















































My unwanted child Mrcock, shey you want land?? I thought the Range sport and london visa is enough na






My lastborn unibenstudent1, when you graduate from school, go and meet aunty rozzay, she will show you the plots of land i left for you [/b]

Really?

ERCROSS:
Mrcork..
Super glue don pour enta ur brain abi...

Funny comments on Nairaland, always

alexis007:
so you are one of those who believe that there is an outrageous level of mass failure in external examinations b'cause students no longer read and are not serious with their studies?...Wrong school of thought!....that said,have you got to know what this same set of 'dullards' scored in their post utme?....Lemme drop an inkling...most people scored 300 and above as though the exams were prepared in their father's house....so Miss everyone-is-a-dullard-except-me,can you explain the discrepancy in performance in both exams?....4get it sister....Only Dibu and his cohorts know why just 47 people made 250 and above 2ru Jamb ppt mode

UNN , graduated from UNN and sincerely, its a messed up system there. Its my alma mater but truth be told its too bureaucratic a school, lots of things need to be looked into.

born2fuck:
go wash your head for your village water, make better things begin reach you. Na small small the tin dey start ooo, no bi until the tin reach big tin before you realise

Nairaland, funnyland. The comments here always ALWAYS make me laugh.

AntiPastChris:
(Pastor Anita Oyakhilome “Birthday Celebration” 2012 Date 26 February) Blasphemy

Birthdays are a tradition of this church but what I discovered next I found shocking and even to a “Catholics” this would be considered “Blasphemy” and a “Heresies” “Biblically” even to the “Catholic Church” it would be a shock and more than likely brand them as a group of “Heretics” for this? Which was during another “Birthday Celebration” which is another Pastor, it is none other than his Wife? (Pastor Anita Oyakhilome) her birthday is on the following (Date 26th February) which is her “Birthday Celebration”

This was on “T.V” I was watching it on Saturday afternoon a program they have called (Totally Addicted) as the end of the show was on the program start with the usual glorifying the person; in the church above the God of heaven? which was no big surprise in this church I was watching then giving praise to (Pastor Anita Oyakhilome) this time it was not as intense as (Pastor Chris Oyakhilome) it was like she was a lesser god than (Pastor Chris Oyakhilome) she was not the “Spiritual Barbie” of the Christian world like he is spiritual “ken to Barbie” like he was being presented at his birthday, which they as a church project him as the perfect poster boy for Christ; so he still is centre stage?  But here is it comes they were calling her “Mama” singing songs to her, and dancing this was worship there is no other way to view this action even lol they call it respect?
Then other videos comes on and they were calling her “Mother” we love you “Over” and “Over” again and again, I have that video so there is proof, that they are worshiping her, and what I heard and seen next was shocking to say the least?
I can give this statement of my past so here it goes?
I was young child going to “Catholic Boy’s School” so even I understood this to be “Blasphemy”
They’re all shouted “Mama” we love you then some other group in the church start to say you are the best, there is no one like you, your wonderful then one group said: you are; wait for it you are our mother then (one group said you are the (Mother of God) I could not believe it? I was thinking there is no evil these people won’t sink to at all?

This is a screen shoot of a video they have post on you tube for her birthday I thought this is bad even lol I can’t find a direct scripture in the bible saying it is wrong, it does not have any to support it in scripture either; to say it is correct? Well I thought how can she be the mother of God, was she alive two thousand years ago? When she should be dead if she was the mother of God. So look this title up on YouTube (Happy Birthday Rev Anita) here is the Url: just in case you can’t find it?

So nearly two thousand years dead in the ground, how can a woman born some years ago now, so how can  this woman (Pastor Anita Oyakhilome) be the mother of God) she is woman born and who has had children, here is the names of the (Sharon Oyakhilome) and (Carolyn Oyakhilome) and now you can see she is not a virgin I keep thinking these people are obsessed with respect, and self-worship there is no limit to their shame and how far they exalt them self over the word of God?

But notice the statement of the members of “Milton Keynes” in the United Kingdom branch, and read them saying we are your sons and daughters in “Christ Embassy” and there thanking her for the chance to take the gospel to the world did she commission them to take the gospel to the ends of the earth I though “Jesus” did this in (Matthew 28 and more how could she give birth to them spiritually maybe they meant, but notice there statements so I made a nice piece of art work depicting there many sins instead of “Marry Worship” it is (Pastor Anita Oyakhilome) in place of Marys face and now it is “Pastor Anita Worship” so I made it here in the traditional “Mary Queen of Heaven” to illustrate the point she is a “goddess” in their eyes.
but there is people in the history of the bible that made some rather eye opening statements about the children of Israel and it was Moses notice the text passage out of the Torah in the book of “Bamidbar” more commonly referred to as “in the wilderness” the book of Numbers he was complaining about the people bothering about meat so he said to God he did not give birth to them, they were a burden to him? So now this is clear as Chrystal how can a another person give birth to people i.e. members not even Moses practice such a hideous twist on truth, like these members said we are your sons and daughters did she gave birth to them how foolish are these people blind guides?
(NIV) Numbers 11:12 did I conceive all these people? Did I give them birth? Why do you tell me to carry them in my arms, as a nurse carries an infant, to the land you promised on oath to their forefathers?
This was during a TV broad cast in the church and half the day was covering this event on “love world TV” channel (588) Sky TV on the U.K broad cast
But if you have any doubt about my statements Google it and the truth will come alive to you?
Also look on   put it in the search engine (Pastor Anita Oyakhilome) “Birthday Celebration”.
So you will see this is not just some person barking like a dog with no purpose; you will see the truth will shine out like the morning glory of God praise his holy name now and for ever? Amen.

[flash=200,200]http://be/bENtIv9iqWs[/flash]

Your diction made rubbish of what you were trying to portray. I could barely read beyond the fourth line. When posting a topic pls help us by making it readable.

Wale112:
my fiancée and i are supposed to get married by December, yesterday she was at her parents' place and we were chatting on bbm. She told me her mum was 'greeting' me o...i responded and told her to snap her mother's boobs and send to me. She put angry smiley and asked me what i needed it for, i told her i wanted to see how her own boobs will look when she gets to her mother's age after we've had kids.....she deleted me immediately..i've been calling her no response, i cannot lose my future wife this way, please advice me.

lol.... jeez, who does that?
This Nairaland sef pass me.

richardjemedafe1:
MAKE ah PACkwell to Read nairalanders funny comments.......



Meanwhile


SPace for sale......

#Nairaland

Seriously, that's what I Nairaland is basically about. Funny comments.

sekzy99:
i need a job onboard a ship, studied marine engineering. Have my stcw 95,medical n discharge book ready. Momlilyseyi@gmail.com or 08023373302Thanks

Dude, your case is totally out of here...lol.

Keenysbojan:
I have apologize to all nairalanders for my blunders,yet some of you did not stop quoting my blunders.... with the sincere heart,I didn't know I made those blunders..it was when some of you started quoting my blunders,it was then I knew 'ooh gosh,wat da Bleep mistakes',but nairaland did not allow me to make my corrections anymore.... please,I dey prostrate ooo mak una no vex for my blunders



Yours Faithfully
k e e n y s b o j a n

Emmm... apologized.

Keenysbojan:
I have been wondering why Nigerian students always use the word 'i was like ok' in every of their saying... I found it difficult to believe that 'i was like ok' is a correct short sentence, in English...

because I have sat down and think about this all over and over and over,and through research I found that there is no short sentence in English, like 'i was like ok'.. but some Nigerians are so terrible when it comes to the aspects of speaking or writing standard English...

A student of unilorin came to meet my big bro at home,and he said I have been trying your number since I left Lagos and I WAS LIKE OK LET ME CALL YOUR YOUNGER BROTHER TO CONFIRM..

immediately,I felt the 'spirit of bad English' in what he said above... since then I have been searching,I have been asking
those who are highly educated and those who study English in universities.. if the use of I WAS LIKE OK is good to speak..

to nairelanders do any of you have anything to say about this topic... share your own points of view and let some 'BAD English speaker(s)' learn from you.. thanks

Yours Faithfully
k e e n y s b o j a n

I have sat down and thought about it, not 'think about it'.
It might not be advisable to use such a clause, but it is not particular to Nigerian students. All over the world, a crop of diction is particular to different age grades. Some eventually make their way into the dictionary as slangs or colloquial.

kennygee:
A Movie for a worthy cause,

not some of the garbage they dish out to us these days.

"Twitter babes", i almost wept when i stumbled on the title.

Lol....

Patiently following... and learning.

Lime might be good for the gum but its not advisable to use it as it will definitely get to the enamel and corrode it. Lime also increases teeth sensitivity.

Omavik: dis guy fit find wife so??

I no fit date am sef.... even if it comes with a paycheck.

Afternoon all... hope your day is going smoothly?

nabsprada: I honestly couldn't av wished 4 anoda house...aftanun Horlawoomey

Awwww.. so sweet. #yimu, hw is your e-boo?

sodiqyinka: nothing yet. We shld hav d time-table hopefully b4 d end of the new week.

I doubt. They'l be done with batch b before they start working on batch c.

nabsprada: Am just trying 2 know my real friends..
* If you're my childHood friend:- Send me MTN 3000
* my real friend:- send 1500
* my best friend send 750
* just a friend:- send 400
* I mean nothing 2 U @ all:- Send 200
* If U are in love with me......... Ask 4 my bank account nummber
Ya!!!!!... Start proving yourselves!!!
Hurry up, I'm waiting.

Notify us when you intend to start knowing your real enemies.

Taiye4Christ: Dolafunmi, I sight you. You just dey observe, abi? How was your day?

Yes o... I'm usually busy during the day.

curiouses: Afternoon ma

Afternoon sir.... How is your day going?

Akerry: Yeah! We in natural sciences filled last month.....hw was ur nyt?

You've written your final exams, ryt?

curiouses: hey, you go just de lurk in here. talk jor

Seriously o... no vex,
Lolest.... Good afternoon all.
Really busy out here, do have a great day.