₦airaland Forum

Edwin Okon.
Plzzz go buy Handkerchief.
Stop disgracing us in front of d world.
For goodness sake:
hw can u put ur hands in2 nose, curve it as though u want to scoop some food, den rub off.
Gosh.
Later u go use d hand d celebrate wit our girls (they cary dem ), well tank God it wasnt Nairaland babe - Oshoala

nnaaa ehhhhhh
namibia keeper don turn defender.
Coming out, if not

which kyn commentator be dis.
He keeps saying dt d Namibia coach doesnt seem happy.
Hw do u expect her 2 be happy wen she is losing & also playing against a side dt can score 5 in 5 minutes.
D worst being dt their best legs r on bench (d 2 O's - oshoala and oparanozie).

which kynd mod be dis.

Its 9ja dey win 2 : 0

omo see free kick.
And na second eleven ohhh.
Oshoala and opara no dey.

i no wan miss "catch-me-if-you-can running style" of Oshoala 2day ohhhh. NEPA/PHCN , anytin u call urself- do sth, even if it means tapping 4rm Aso-Rock.

what r these mods still waiting for. Take this 2 fp naaaa. Na by 4 d match dey start ohhhh.


For the West Africans, the star of their campaign has been France-based striker, Desire Oparanozie, and she has found in youngster Asisat Oshoala a
capable partnership up front. Oparanozie is currently the leading scoring of the
championship on four goals.
Oshoala, Osinachi Ohale, Ngozi Okobi, Esther Sunday and former African Women Player of the Year, Perpetua
Nkwocha, who has been a bit-player, are all on two goals.
That long list of goal-scoring players surely presents Jaqueline Shipanga's Namibia the headache of settling for which of the Falcons players to shut out when they meet in Windhoek.[color=#990000]what r these mods still waiting for. Take this 2 fp naaaa. Na by 4 d match dey start ohhhh.


For the West Africans, the star of their campaign has been France-based striker, Desire Oparanozie, and she has found in youngster Asisat Oshoala a
capable partnership up front. Oparanozie is currently the leading scoring of the
championship on four goals.
Oshoala, Osinachi Ohale, Ngozi Okobi, Esther Sunday and former African Women Player of the Year, Perpetua
Nkwocha, who has been a bit-player, are all on two goals.
That long list of goal-scoring players surely presents Jaqueline Shipanga's Namibia the headache of settling for which of the Falcons players to shut out when they meet in Windhoek.

#spellnamibia

Oshoala /Oparaonozie - Hatrick

Havilah93:
Minimum score today should be 6-0!

nyc prediction.
Na ur talent, abi na luck?

where did he say dt it was his first tym?

philtrum:
oga dondavidson are you a marketer.?....e be like say nah you dey market all the nollywood movies or you did a project on d the subject matter.....lmao...you got me laughing all 2tru..

lolzzz.
My dear, e no easy 4 ezekiel.

You Know It’s A Nigerian Movie When;

1. The title of the movie tells u the whole story line
2. A lady is about to go to bed at night and yet her face is fully made up.
3. Someone will be shown 25 years after and he will be wearing the same clothes he wore earlier
4. When there is a flashback in a flashback.
5. When a film talks about past events in the 80s and 90s and you see MTN, ETISALAT and GLO banners in the background.
6. The lyrics of the soundtrack is literally the plot of the movie.
7. A car is about to have an accident when the steering wheel suddenly starts turning and the driver will eventually hit an “ewedu” stem and the driver will be seen with his head on the steering wheel with no damage to windscreen, nor any scratch on the car whatsoever.
8. The same song is played ON and ON and ON throughout the movie (whether it is an action/love/drama scene)
9. The actors waste unnecessary time to perform an act that shouldn’t take more than a fraction of a second e.g An actor will spend fifteen good minutes of his time threatening to kill someone, spend another five minutes looking for his gun (while the mumu victim will stand there watching) and then spend another ten minutes shouting “I
WILL KILL YOU TODAY” after which he tots his gun (the sound is often times not in sequence with the trigger pull) and then the victim screams ” I AM DEAD, YOU HAVE KILLED ME, I AM DYING” and then he dies.
10. Advert floods d first half hour. Thank God for fast forwarding
11. A car will hit someone at top speed and that person will still be lying on the bonnet of the car
12. The bad characters are completely evil and the good characters are completely good, one track personalities
13. You have to reduce the volume for the
soundtrack and increase it to hear what the actor are saying, so you have to hold onto your remote control.
14. When you see a village girl speaking phonetics
15. Almost all endings will happen in church, when at the end of the movie, a pastor and his team prays and the wicked/evil person manifests, confesses and then drops dead. . . To God be the glory. This always happens when the director/ producers have run out of ways to end the movie.
16. A ghost will be looking on both sides of the road before crossing
17. When married women wear club-appropriate outfits all day, everyday- even when cooking in the kitchen or attending to someone at the store.
18. You can predict the movie by mere looking at the DVD casing
19. When the film advertisement ends with GO GRAB UR COPY NOW!!!!!! as if its going out of existence and ur entire being is dependent on it
20. When it is marketed and distributed at 51/52 Iweka road Onitsha, 12 Idumota lane or Pound road Aba.
21. An actor leaves his house in a red shirt and is seen in the car with a blue shirt and arrives his destination in a red shirt.
22. When a hospitalized patient dies by shaking violently on the hospital bed. 23. When Jim Iyke or anoda actor is putting on
SUNSHADES in a CLUB at NIGHT
24. When a man suffers a gun shot injury to the tummy and is shown in the hospital with bandages on thier head and a cast on their arms and legs. .
25. When a club scene with people dancing lasts for over 15 minutes with no dialogue or incident.
26. When Aki and paw paw must act in the same movie and usually as bad boys or trouble makers,Jim Iyke is always a bad/hard man, Mercy Johnson Is always a village girl/student
27. Some Nigerian home video can be boring and the producers don’t help matters by extending it to PART TWO, PART THREE, PART FOUR, PART FIVE AND
PART SIX (to be contd). Funny thing is everything in that movie can be acted in 20mins if it was directed properly like the Hollywood movies.
28. When a house is supposedly on fire but wont be consumed in flames
29. When a village igbo setting has all of the cast scantily dressed with ankara or animal skin, like NOBODY wears shirt & trouser in the village.
30. The gateman is so silly that he can be insulting his Boss(es) right in there presence without getting fired….Wonder if that is possible with the rate at which people seek for employment…( e.g. Baba Suwe Films)
31. When u see the cameraman’s image on the body of a shiny car, with his camera raised up and usually clad in white singlet and short knickers.
32. When it is distributed by Zeb Ejiro, Produced by Zeb Ejiro, Written by Zeb Ejiro, Screen Play by Zeb Ejiro, Make up by Zeb Ejiro and Directed by Zeb Ejiro
33. When a couple is making love in their room with no one watching and yet they cover themselves with thick blanket and start to struggle and sweat like they were forced to do it in a public place
34. The lil boy or girl have difficulty remembering his/her lines and picks his/her words one by one
35. It is only in Nigerian movies when a prayer warrior/ pastor says ”HOLY GHOST FIRE! to an evil person and you will see fire balls, fire whips, fire missiles appearing. Wonderful! I love my native movies.
36. Most women just love Nigerian home videos and i wonder why. Perhaps its because it feeds their emotions e.g The “wicked” husband of that “innocent” woman finally got what he “deserved” in the end OR the mother in law mistakenly ate the poison she prepared for the wife (Women just love these movies…especially the married ones and their reasons aren’t far fetched)
37. When every slap sounds like a gunshot 38. When Funke Akindele comes up with OMO
GHETTO and Fathia Balogun copy cats with ONOME AGANGA, then Femi Adebayo brings JELILI and Mercy Aigbe vexs and releases……
39. When ur mother and sisters all gather in the parlour watching the tv with rapt attention and periodically turn to each other and say “this kind thing dey happen o ”
40. When u see an actor/actress remembering what happened in 1972 …and at the back u see vote for Goodluck Jonathan 2011 fresh air billboard..in 1972
41. U already know what’ll end at d
beginning of the film
42. To God be the glory. Watch out for part 2


an average nigerian film costs about $25,000 and done in less than a week.
Our highest budget movie is Half of a yellow sun costing about $8 million compared to hollywood highest budget movie (hunger games) costing about $130 million.

penalty

wear pants?
& when u stand after sitting 4 a long period,
u put ur hands btw ur buttocks to remove it.
Thats wat i hate about it

topeorekoy: When someone like Mikel earns over £65K/week, thats over N18m weekly

did u say 65?
He earn above 80?

fkaz: The rate of corruption allegation in this administration is just too appalling

u should av said dt d rate of corruption exposure in this administration is much.

& d masses dt r used 2 shelving corruption nw term it alarming.

U tell me dey werent worse in order administrations?

1miccza: Who be this one sef

some1 who doesnt play wit sometin conserning eternity

@ op. When one is saved from sin(born again). Old things are passed away, all thing become new.

Boy & girl friend lifestyle is then become a past. K? So it isn't funny. Its a matter of eternity.

revenge post.

Someone posted 'reasons not to attend a PRIVATE UNI.' the other day.

In Liberia angry residents raised an alarm
after they saw that wild dogs were digging
up corpses of Ebola victims and were eating
them in the streets.

Dogs were spotted near the “Ebola graveyard”. Starving creatures ‘opened’ the graves and ate flesh. Disgusting scene took place several weeks ago when citizens refused to let the government bury infected corpses at their lands. But the state’s officials decided to quickly solve this problem and buried the bodies in a hurry.

Bodies were hidden at night to avoid conflicts with citizens. But infected corpses turned out to be an easy item to reach even for a dog. Many of corpses containing Ebola were buried near Johnsonville Township, on the outskirts of the Liberian capital city of Monrovia.

Dogs can’t die from Ebola virus, but they can
easily transfer it to humans through licking or
biting. So the fears are spreading all over the
villages. Citizens are deeply disappointed of such action by the government that fails to protect them. It is not known why not to bury bodies infected byEbola virus better, in deeper graves.

Scientists claim the deadly Ebola virus can mutate rapidly, and this makes it harder to treat and diagnose. There are nearly 400 ‘modifications’ of the virus now.

Plzzz watch out for disgusting dogs

In Liberia angry residents raised an alarm
after they saw that wild dogs were digging
up corpses of Ebola victims and were eating
them in the streets.

Dogs were spotted near the “Ebola graveyard”. Starving creatures ‘opened’ the graves and ate flesh. Disgusting scene took place several weeks ago when citizens refused to let the government bury infected corpses at their lands. But the state’s officials decided to quickly solve this problem and buried the bodies in a hurry.

Bodies were hidden at night to avoid conflicts with citizens. But infected corpses turned out to be an easy item to reach even for a dog. Many of corpses containing Ebola were buried near Johnsonville Township, on the outskirts of the Liberian capital city of Monrovia.

Dogs can’t die from Ebola virus, but they can
easily transfer it to humans through licking or
biting. So the fears are spreading all over the
villages. Citizens are deeply disappointed of such action by the government that fails to protect them. It is not known why not to bury bodies infected byEbola virus better, in deeper graves.

Scientists claim the deadly Ebola virus can mutate rapidly, and this makes it harder to treat and diagnose. There are nearly 400 ‘modifications’ of the virus now.

Plzzz watch out for disgusting dogs

its not MAN UNITED
its MANCHESTER UNITED

Emmybreezy: so bad gun 2soon r.i.p niggas

news its from FNN
Fake Niger News

danny welbeck admitted his poor goal scoring form-

...... "I'm also aware that knowing how to play in
different positions and developing in different
areas of the pitch and will only benefit me and
the teams I play for. "I'm happy to help the team out and it doesn't
really matter whether I'm playing on the wing
or up front, I should have had a much better
goal return."
.......

u ehhhh
which kyn space booking be dis?

Rikidon (u be rakitic broda?)

Unanticipated reports filtering from the
Emirates stadium allege that Four Arsenal fans
have just committed s*****e this night. According to the club management, initial
reports from the police states that they are not
suspecting any foul play after observing the
scenes and series of events preceding the time
the unspeakable acts took place. All four acts took place between 6:25 – 6:30pm
(local time) which is just after Arsenal’s
announced the signing of Welbeck from
Manchester United. FNN was able to speak with an Arsenal fan,
and he said: “I am not surprised they killed
themselves, very few people can suffer for
eight years and watch their only hope for
salvage disappear, we all know the drill,
Welbeck is shit …he scored less than 5 goals last season..we already have Sanogo we dont
need another now.” . “Even if we don’t win the EPL, it is not the end
of the world, we can still clinch 4th place, so we
call on our fans to have faith…RIP Goners!!”
The club’s official handle tweeted in reaction to
the news. In order to curb recurrence of such, the police
and FNN call on families and friends of die hard
Arsenal Fans to keep close watch on them
during the transfer deadline, even as we pray
that Welbeck Fails his medicals and await more
details on the status of his transfer.

#DontMissTheNextFunnyThing

imanuel5959: Wow!!!!
I see, she's such a good player and beautiful too..
Thanks for the info, make I go ask Colin Udoh for KickoffNigeria...

hmmmmmm....
KickoffNigeria don fold due 2 lack of fund.
Meet me for info

Superstar007: OMG!! This girl to make sense. .
Her smile alone can cure ebola.
Like Boko Haram, she just detonated a bomb im my heart

lol. I just pity dt coach. People dt will criticize him for substituting her go plenty. Although d tactical decision can be ryt: but many were nt watching d ball, they were watching HER

Superstar007: OMG!! This girl to make sense. .
Her smile alone can cure ebola.
Like Boko Haram, she just detonated a bomb im my heart

lwkmd. Cure EBOLA? Americans for don come carry her since naa?
She beat many of our Nollywood so called star actresses in beauty

dey lost but @ least many Nigerians will be happy dey watched d match & saw their lady nt 4 goal scoring prowess but for beauty.

& who's dis lady.
She is COURTNEY DIKE

@mod. U said 10 & wrote 16. Try to make ur sayings be in tadem with ur actions.