₦airaland Forum

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Next customer please.

permsec:
So at this ur age of managing #600 aba gown, u already know for a fact that naija guys can be so dirty??

I dont blame you, i blame that innocent family that employed you as a househelp.

HoH MA GOD!!

I am deading..
Me is deading..
Deading... me is doing
Pained...She is feeling
Laughing... We are doing
Vexing.. She is doing




SAVAGE

Both guyz and ladies are guilty of this, you lots bashing him are nothing but hypocrites.


Check some people's phone, you'll see picture of guys and ladies they don't even know, you'll see strange people that they'v been dating in their mind for more than 4 years.

But look at all of them forming

QueenSekxy:
lol... don't depend on any man though ut that doesn't mean he shouldn't care for once..who even dates senseless broke stingy boys.

Just shurup!

Nairaland is the only place where you don't depend on men.

Look at one of them claiming and forming a clean lady by slamming men's butt, social media is the only place we see their type, even ladies that wears one asambodo pant of 70 naira for 4 days will also come to social media to call out men.


The bitter truth is this....Even if a man didn't clean and wipe his butt after defecting, at the mention of pizza and sharwama, ladies will still worship and bow down for the man and start licking his dirty butt hole just for the man to buy them pizza,

Any girlfriend that collects salary from her man v'got no right to complain whenever she gets dumped because she's like a data subscription to her man....And every man has every right to change his sim card whenever he likes.

Liliyann:
[s] What is wrong in giving your girlfriend money to look good and take care of herself?
Your girlfriend can also become your wife so there is nothing bad in pampering and spoiling her with gifts and Money,it makes her feel loved and appreciated.
If you like don't appreciate and shower your girlfriend with money,another man will definitely cone and do the job well. [/s]

What is wrong in giving your man money to look good and take care of himself?

Abi na only women sabi look good.

Don't go and work, be busy looking and converting a relationship to a job opportunity.

Broke and lazy ladies everywhere looking for a dick to depend financially on.

HegenIkomkeh:
donstan18,what do you have to say about this case?
Over to you sir.

Thank you, Mr Hegen

---

@OP

I personally do not think you need advice on relationship.

You obviously need advice, directions, help and guidelines on how to treat the followings.

insecurity, low self esteem, low self confidence and fear of the future

We all might be seeing this as a normal and mere relationship issue, but for you to conclude and fear for your future at 21 years because of a girl means something is wrong somewhere.


Please, OP where are your parents?

dominique:
I agree with her and sadly a great number of Nigerian parents are also raising their children same way. You raise your sons with soft gloves and raise your daughters with iron fists constantly reminding her that she must be of good behaviour for her future husband. Of what use is all that training if she ends up with a poorly trained boy? Parents have their work cut for them in raising responsible, reliable and accountable children, sadly they are failing woefully going by all the moral decadence going on around us today.

For all I care, she's trying to seek his attention, because she wasn't condemning or supporting his motion, she was just beating around just for the sake of reacting, not surprised thou. Women can do anything to get the attention of successful men...So i'll kindly disregard that rubbish she scribbled.


Back to your comment.

@Bolded, where did you get your statistics that Nigerian parents are more strict to their daughters than their sons?

Woman, can you authoritatively tell and prove to the forum that Nigerian parents are more strict to their daughters than sons. You ladies are busy hiding under the shield of misogynist. just to spill your long awaited complaints.....You all should stop generalizing Anthony Joshua's personal decision on kids training.

I don't even understand...How can you say African parents are soft to their sons more than daughters... Abi my papa been de different? ...How can you say that?, huh?

Incase you don't know, woman.

The only aspect of training where parents are more strict to their daughters than sons is Sexual exposure and life , why?, because African society doesn't play and consider gender equity while condemning a man and a lady that sleeps around.


Kindly come up with your statistics and prove that African parents are more strict to their daughters than sons

---

You typed of a trained lady ending up with a poor trained boy....incase you don't know, the bitter truth remains that the only training you ladies prefer from a man is MONEY , that's why you see ladies pretend to still love a rich man even if she's not enjoying the marriage.

Sagamite:
By and large, yes, because that is typically core to the need of most women but not for most men.

Your first "if" is not a logical consequence of the yes. It does not offer a logical flow and induction.

Most men (not all) that need long term commitment from women are usually the insecure type, ..........and there are many of them.

Another bunch of men that need long term commitment from women are the ones that think it helps them adapt to social norms.

A small bunch of men that need long term commitment from women are the ones that have found one they see as perfect or close to it.

In short, if you are a man seeking long-term commitment from a woman who don't see as perfect or close to it, you are just an insecure, sad motherfucker and/or sheep.

Buttress an answer in a simple short sighted way, you needn't revolve in a versatile way to hit the nail.

If i'm to decipher and understand your scribblings, am I to believe and concur that secure men don't need a long-term companionship from a woman?, if YES, highlight your reasons for opinionating so.

Further more , How can a long-term companionship from women help a man adapt to social norms?, if atall it helps, how about men that aren't insecure and doesn't give a damn about a woman's long-term relationship, how then do they intend adapting to social norms?

Sagamite:
Yep.

In general, uncomprehensive and basic summarisation: "Women offer sex in exchange for men offering long-term companionship ".

@Bolded.

In reverse, are long-term companionships meant for only men to offer?

if YES, should we now concur to the cliche that "Women offers nothing but sex in a relationship".

If NO, what then do men give in exchange for women's long-term companionship.

I need to understand you point well.

Sagamite:
Yes, women offer sex and men don't, in general.

Women are evolutionarily built to be more attractive than men. They are equipped with more features of attractiveness and subtleness of features. Men are equipped with features to poke (bam bam shagawabam) and to demonstrate strength.

They are a more beautiful and attractive creature. Simple! That is why I can never have an iota of understanding of the brain of homosexual men.

As women are generally more attractive, it is far more easier for them to get sex, so they don't need any offers.

They offer it to men, who on average, find it harder to get sex using their features.

Men have to demonstrate to women why they be the one to have sex with her. That is done by demonstrating position, assets, potential performance, emotional connection and/or long-term benefits.

When a man wants to bone the living day light out of a woman, it is facilitated by his attraction to her physical features.

Up to this day in my life, I am yet to meet a woman I want to bone because:

- "Oh, she is so intelligent"
- "Oh, she has a great job"
- "Oh, she is rich"
- "Oh, she cooks like Iya Morufu"
- "Oh, she is such a good singer"
- "Oh, her handwriting looks very nice"

NOOOOOO!

I look at her fcking body and then think I would love to fck the shenanigans out of that fcking body.

To keep it long-term is when the secondary kicks in: her personality. So they don't only offer sex if it is a long-term thing.

On the other hand, the features of a man that normally triggers women wanting sex from a man is (a) what is in it for her on the long term [a keeper] or (b) she just wants to be naughty [usually no strings].

At the end of the day, in both situations a & b, the men usually have to prove to her that she would get what she wants before she offers the sex.

Cool, you are in general saying that women offer sex to men, ofwhich we should disregard the motion that sex is a both gender tabling....sex should now be said to be a woman's thing if i'm to agree with you.

MissWrite:
[/b]

Lol. Yes, I think the bolded can be said. It's definitely two sides of a coin.



I understand.

I only meant that in the sense that people can decide what they're wiling to "give" in a relationship even before any requests are made from the other person. People have the right and sometimes the tendency to hold back on things they have the capacity to give for reasons best known to them.

For it to happen, there are two offers and two acceptances; one active, one passive (whenever a person initiates it). You've got to be ready to give it in order to receive it. It's like the traditional Protestant wedding vow where both parties pledge to accept each other and offer themselves to one another at the same time. And for it not to happen, there are either no offers, or one offer and one rejection.

Cool, gotten your point.

Perfect!

AntiBrutus:
No woman will be dumb enough to go chanting such. She wouldn't even get the required back-up from the society to make it trend.

Lol, you re right.

I think if we are to consider meaning and reasonable views into some cliche used against women , we"ll get to know that they re all fallacy

MissWrite:
Lol. I'm okay, sweetie. Thanks for asking.

Lol, alright dear.. stay cool.

MissWrite:
Hey, friend .............I didn't want to disappoint you with two lines.

I've been kinda busy. How you dey?

Lol, I never expected two lines, so much believed you not to disappoint

Busy, seems obvious because you rarely comment these days, all the same, it's cool.

I'm good, you?, how you?

MissWrite:
I'm not sure I know how to read this question, to be honest. Do men offer sex? In my opinion: Yes.

Of course, yes. It's one out of several things they've got to give.

In fact, everyone has a list of things they've got up for grabs whenever they interact with another human being (if nothing else, then they give/offer their time). Little things and big things which make them attractive (and useful) to others. For example: humor, good conversation, ego-massage, motivation, occasional companionship, reliable friendship, emotional support, financial support, sex, marriage. In our interaction with people, we try to figure out what a person has got to "offer" and if we have "need" for that thing; because that's the only way the interaction/relationship would be of value to us, instead of just being a waste of our time. And it's their responsibility to evaluate our value to them in return, so that it becomes a symbiotic relationship.

You cannot "offer" something and not get anything in return. That's not sustainable. A relationship where one person gives and doesn't get anything in return, dies.

Mind you, there are some relationships that might seem parasitic (on a superficial level), but they aren't really. A person doesn't necessarily have to get his "reciprocation" from his counterpart directly to get "value". Sometimes, a "giving-person" gets reciprocation from a third party or by extension: for instance: a man who's in a relationship with a woman for her father's influential name ( she has no personal assets he values, but she's got value bestowed on her by her family); or a woman who marries a man for her compulsory "MRS" qualification (he's got no personal gifts of value to her but society has blessed him with that specific kind of value to a woman); there are also people who derive satisfaction from being magnanimous in relationships, because religion has given value to self-sacrifice, selflessness, and suffering for the sake of other people. They feel noble, telling themselves it's all for God.

Some of these things aren't rock-solid: financial support is good until I have my own money; sex is good until it's not; a man in a woman's life gives her social validation but when he starts to threaten her life, she must choose what's more important: to live or to please society? The moment we don't need some of these things anymore, the person loses value on our eyes. But it doesn't mean they don't still have those things to offer, which would be of value to the next person who's got those needs. Absolutely nobody is generally valueless.

So, sex is probably one of the easiest things men have to offer. But by itself, it isn't very sellable to many Nigerian women. It's a cheap commodity because, just like junk food, it might taste good but over-indulgence makes Nigerian women unattractive (to Nigerian men) in the long run. And "attractiveness to men" is something Nigerian women want to preserve. So, naturally, women would rather want things which would add value to them and avoid things that detract value.

Most men, on the other hand, value sex and not much else. Even though both genders have the capacity to "offer" sex, sex for sex generally isn't in a woman's interest in the Nigerian context. And most men would consider "companionship, motivation, etc minus sex" from a woman a waste of their time. So, in a bid to get women to bring sex to the bargaining table, men offer "the woman's ask": financial support or marriage (which traditionally includes financial support plus "legitimized" sex for women). We are all just trading value; but somehow, when sex and money are involved, it becomes a moral issue.

For emancipated females who have worked themselves to financial independence, and whose worlds have expanded to the point where they don't necessarily have to live with and worry about this misogyny, they can put things in context and Africa becomes just another bad neighborhood on the wrong side of town. When a woman's value in society doesn't really depend on having a man, she would not staunchly avoid a burger (just for the sake of remaining attractive to a man) if it makes her happy. Her own health and comfort would be her primary concern and motivation for moderation. Such a woman won't have any inhibitions, she would value sex for the sake of sex.

But there's always the exception to the rule.

Lol, you never seems to amaze me you don't disappoint.

Yes, you a very good point, a versatile and broad point touching different and various areas in a relationship.

I was logically thinking loudly about this very cliche "Most women offer sex" and I was like.... Sex should be a two gender thing, why then do men say women do offer it, could it be a countering cliche?, maybe yes, if YES, can women aswell say "Most men do nothing than to demand for sex in a relationship"..Can they.

Well, you said any gender can offer sex, which I MIGHT or MAY NOT agree with you, because I personally think no gender offers sex, because it takes to gender mingling to have sex.


Anyway, good point you made.

nancyv:
A million likes for this your comment.
Women take advantage of men because of sex because men care about sex more than any other thing in a relationship.

Women offer sex because that's the only thing the male folk demand from them.
my advice to females who want to remain virgins is not to date at all because men always demand for sex,if you don't demand 1 kobo from them.

@Bolded,

I don't think men care more for sex than women,i simply think men are more brave to ask for sex than women, women care a lot for sex, but our society has it in a way that any woman who so much ask for sex like men will be seen as something else, hence making it look like men care more.

Why are you late? MissWrite

greiboy:

You sabi am

Tellz u man...
We all know

greiboy:
@bolded is a lie

Ladies use sex as bargaining chip all the time

A guy that is broke today will be told to get money before he could consider women, even when it is clear that the lady is equally broke and have nothing else to offer at that moment than sex or if that isn't the case why shouldn't the lady consider his proposal and offer all those value added things most ladies like to talk about like compassion and advice.

However, soon as the guy begins to show sign of success, the same set of ladies won't mind be his gfs, just to get a share of his money.

Why not date him before, if he wasn't that bad?


The scenario played out here on nairaland in December. A certain nairalander who ladies are found of insulting for his lifestyle and openly rejecting happened to come into some cash and took the liberty of posting this cash on the social media. The change in attitude of ladies towards him immediately after he posted the cash was quite astonishing, almost like a miracle

This above scenario also makes it clear that it isn't a cycle but a deliberate plot

You also stated someone in your post that you cannot be caged with sex. That is probably because you have a regular partner or partners you have sex with. People often crave for what they don't have. So with most guys often denied sex by most ladies for various reasons, you will be amazed at the power of just the promise of sex, you will surprised at what sex can accomplish

On the sugar mommy theory, sugar mommy demands for sex just like most guys. Sugar mommy only select the top of the cherry. Unlike most guys i.e the best of the best. So in that case the men only have sex to offer.

@Bolded




Airfor.....

AntiBrutus:
Anyone can 'offer sex' .irrespective of the gender. All that is needed is someone willing to accept it.

Gotten, that's what i'm after
How about the cliche "Some men can only offer sex" How proper?

This is nothing but the bitter and ugly truth about ladies, MOST ladies are opportune to eat what they have eaten with the help and contribution of men, most of them wouldn't have stepped their foot in some places without the help of men , yet they will refuse to be loyal and humble

Yes, pizza might be cheap, shawarma might be cheap, cinema and the rest might aswell be cheap, but the truth remains that ladies won't spend their money to enjoy their life, they depend on men, they can even depend on men for their menstrual pads .. A lady having more than 500k in her account will be the last person to spend it on pizza, she'll do nothing but depend on a struggling man to buy it for her, very stingy set of people ....You'll rarely see a lady buy herself snacks their level of stinginess and brokeness is LENGENDRY, yet they'll open their mouth to call any guy who refuses to buy them snacks BROKE.


This lady is right.. LADIES WOULDN'T HAVE EATEN PIZZA AND SHAWARMA IF NOT FOR MEN....They can't even use shaving cream for their pubic hairs, if not for men

Any lady that disagrees with her is nothing but a broke pretender
Any man that disagrees with the lady is nothing but an asslicker seeking for likes from ladies

Dimples129:
[s] So his neice can't make mistakes, and learn from them, and build her character. She belongs to a man so she must be trained for him.


I don't blame him... you can't have it all

#Brains&Beauty #B&B [/s]

Shut d'fvck up... Social media claimers.

What character is she building?, what's wrong with what he said, he wants to be strict to his niece, so?

Is she your "Niece"? , is Anthony Joshua life and decision suppose to be your concern?, huh?

Yes, he knows what African culture entails, he knows that her niece will grow to be someone's wife, he has every right to father her strictly the way he wants.

All the ladies that weren't brought up strictly and great discipline, what did they turn out to be? whoré, hoe, bitches and wannabe feminists that does nothing than to sleep around and ask for money from men due to their inability to become a responsible woman, wife and mother to the society.

You typed of beauty and brain, which one do you have?, he doesn't have beauty and brain, yet he's at the level he his..... Your type can even reach orgasm at the sight of him, yet will come here to form pooooo!

Once again... Shut d'fvck up and mind your business.


You dare not tell a Nigerian man how to train his kids or siblings.. You dare not....Train your own the way you want, don't decide for others.

Grayjoy:
Well d term equality to me has always been an illusion, even life doesn't support equality dat is if u study ur environment critically. So I dnt actually believe in equality even our fingers said so. But we should encourage equity. So if a guy cannot be shamed for fvcking anyhow then same should be 4 d ladies bt if u are with a lady and somehow dis sexuality discussion shows up, she begins to feel cagey dat u wan2 judge her or sumtin, if sex is bad 4 grlz it shud also be bad 4 boyz. Dat is my philosophy and believe.
Ladies are not actually in control of sex by using it as a bargaining tool, someone like me if u wan2 cage me with sex to make me do tinz like marry u or get something done 4 u, i won't even go ahead with d sex, it should be something 4 ur pleasure nt other benefits it has actually been part of my principles.
If u thnk only ladies use sex to bargain then u are a bit wrong, just like d sugarmummy stuff like makkyderbie said, Wat do u call dat then? Sometimes things do happen between u and a lady dat on good day u dnt wan2 sex her bt u can use dat as a means to an end, (did dat in school b4 though), but why it do happens is because the lady may capitilise on ur need or desperacy 4 dat sex and have her way.
Still on dat equality stuff, a frnd once asked me if i could marry a prostitute since i believe grlz shouldn't be shamed 4 much body count and all that.

Your opinion thou.

Accepted.