₦airaland Forum

Kefetjey:
Happy birthday

thankz dear,pls dnt eat anything 4now coz d birthday package is on the way to ur doorstep.

happyjuliet:
Happy BD dear, may all ur wishes come true andd many many more YREAS ahead, Amen.

Thankz dear, just pm ur address so i can send u ur cut of the cake 2ru dhl.

Zyzman:
nice write up kip up d good work

it has been in my mail for days and i thought that it would be good if another brother learn from it.

aaronson:
Real talk but the only way to manage rejection is actually getting rejected and see that you didn't die and move on,once you got rejected you already used to it and wouldn't be scared no more,just my little part of the contribution.

that's the true

I find this topic fascinating.
If I just think about it, I can remember MANY times in my past where I wanted to talk to a woman, but I just didn't do it.
In fact, many of them are so vivid that I can remember the exact setting, what the girl looked like, who else was there, etc...and I'm talking about situations that happened YEARS ago.
These moments obviously made an impression.
I can also remember kicking myself for DAYS afterwards for not approaching and talking to these girls.
Can you relate?

Copyright 2012, David DeAngelo Marketing Inc.


THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ACTUAL REJECTION AND THE FEAR OF REJECTION...

I think it's important to realize that there's a BIG difference between ACTUAL rejection (having a girl who is offended, upset, rude, etc. to you when you start talking to her) and the FEAR of rejection (how you feel when you imagine a woman rejecting you).
I've found that for me PERSONALLY, my FEAR of rejection is actually FAR, FAR more painful and difficult to deal with than ACTUAL rejection in the real world.
The main reason for this is that most of the time when a man starts talking to a woman, she is actually rather nice about the whole affair.
Men aren't "rejected" very often!
If a woman isn't interested, she usually just says "I have a boyfriend" or "No thank you"...or she'll just walk away without saying anything at all.
Out of the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of times that I've approached women, I can't remember any time that a woman has yelled "Get away from me you loser! You are unattractive and the very thought of going on a date with you makes me sick to my stomach!"
I'm sure it's happened to SOMEONE, but it's never happened to ME.
The worst I've had is a woman making fun of the words I used (telling me that my pickup line was lame) or just walking away.
No slaps, no boyfriends beating me up, and no yelling.
But here's the kicker...
You can experience an intense FEAR of rejection EVERY time you consider approaching a woman.
Imagine, something you can predict with almost perfect accuracy.
You can be in any situation, anywhere, anytime, and still have FEAR of rejection...which will prevent you from approaching a woman.
Ah, the power of the human mind.

HOW TO DEAL WITH REJECTION...

A lot of guys ask me, "How do I deal with rejection?".
The answer: Don't worry about it.
If you get "rejected", you'll be fine.
Really.
It's no big deal, and it doesn't happen that often.
And when it does, you'll recover shortly thereafter.
You'll find yourself telling your friends about it, and laughing together. Rejection from a woman is about as painful as getting a "" on a test.
It's basically insignificant.
The REAL question is "How do I deal with my FEAR of rejection?".
If you can overcome your imaginary FEAR of rejection, you'll be on your way. (Some guys have a type of fear that they might call "terror" when thinking of approaching women.)
WHY WOMEN REJECT MEN...

Now let's talk about those rare instances where a woman actually REJECTS a man.
For the sake of this discussion, I want to define "rejection" as a woman doing something that lets you know that she's upset and offended that you started talking to her, and she responds in a mean or vicious way to make you go away.
I do NOT consider a woman walking away without stopping to talk to you, her saying "No thank you", or any other time when a woman just simply doesn't engage to be "rejection".
If you DO consider these things to be rejection, please stop reading now, call your mom into your room, and tell her that it's time you grew up and moved out...and that she'll get over the fact that she can't choose your clothes for you and hug you when you have a boo-boo anymore.
I digress...
I've found that there are a few main reasons why women actually DO reject men (by the way, it's VERY rare that I actually get "rejected" anymore...it's probably happened to me once in the last 100 times I've started a conversation with a woman...because I don't do dumb-ass things anymore).
Here are the main ones:

1. The guy isn't paying attention, and he does something stupid to begin with.
Some guys think it's appropriate to walk up to a woman, put their arm around her, and say, "Hey baby, you sure do look hot tonight".
Some guys don't see anything wrong with following a woman around all night, staring at her constantly, then walking over with a nervous, sweaty-palmed, stalkerish look and saying, "You remind me of my sister".
These are bad ideas.

2. The guy doesn't stop when he should.
If two women are sitting alone at a table in the corner, and one of them is obviously upset, and you walk over to them and say, "Hi, can I buy you a drink?"...and the upset one looks at you and says, "No thanks, we're in the middle of a conversation" (then looks away from you back at her friend)...and you say, "Aw, come on, have a drink. You need to lighten up and have some fun"...and she looks back at you and says firmly, "We're busy"...and you say, "What, are you in a bad mood or something? I'm just trying to buy you a drink"...and she says, "We don't want a drink"...and you say, "Well maybe your friend does"...and the friend says, "No, I don't want one either"...
OK, hopefully you get it.
If you ever do something like this, you are a dumb ass, and you deserve to be slapped and have 47 drinks thrown in your lap.

3. Making a woman nervous with your body language.
If you start talking to a woman, but your posture is weak and slumped, your eyes are darting around but not meeting hers, and you're wearing an unbuttoned flannel shirt with one of the tails tucked in, you're probably not going to get a favorable response.
If you creep a woman out, things aren't going to work for you.
4. Not understanding a woman's body language and other communication.
When you start talking to a woman, she will let you know within a very short time if she's receptive to talking to you.
If you've been reading too many books that say "A woman will signal her availability and interest by flipping her hair, licking her lips, and cocking her head coyly at you", then get over it.
This stuff happens to Brat Pitt, not to YOU.
And if it DOES happen to you, then skip this part.
When you first start talking to a woman she's either going to keep talking to you in an open, comfortable way or she's not.
She's either going to act like things are cool or she's going to act like they're not.
This is an amazing thought, but women get nervous too. They will often stop talking just because they can't think of anything to say, etc.
But you need to pay attention.
Experience is the best teacher here.
My simple point is that MOST GUYS CAUSE REJECTION by what they're doing. They aren't paying attention, or they're doing things that are offensive.
If you just avoid a few major mistakes, learn how to start conversations with women, and do a few simple things RIGHT, you'll all but totally avoid "rejection" from the women you approach.

HOW TO OVERCOME FEAR OF REJECTION

The REAL obstacle here is the FEAR.
As I mentioned, FEAR of rejection, or IMAGINING rejection when you should be imagining success, leads to walking away.
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
Ironically, I've found that the best way to overcome my own fear of rejection was to see that it wasn't going to actually happen.
The more times I approached women and started conversations and the more I saw that women usually responded positively, the less I imagined things going wrong.
This led to a positive feedback loop of me wanting to approach more women and have more success.
Here are a few ideas for overcoming your own FEAR of rejection:

1) Go out to a bar/club, and watch men approaching women.
Take a Saturday night, and just go out alone. Find a seat at the bar where things are busy, and just watch.
Make sure you visit a place that is REALLY busy, so you can see a lot of people interacting.
Now, pay attention.
You'll begin to pick out the guys who are approaching a lot of women, asking them to dance, buying them drinks, etc. Watch what happens.
You'll be able to see for yourself that most of the time, even if the woman isn't interested, nothing bad happens.
You'll also see that when a guy tries to grab a woman who's walking by, makes a crude sexual comment, or just keeps talking when a woman isn't interested, that the woman's feelings might escalate and she'll respond negatively.
You can watch what works and what doesn't right in front of your own eyes.
This will start to reprogram your mind that women don't usually "reject" men, even in the most intense situations where they're being approached all night.

2) Start small.
If you have to, start by talking to women who are PAID to talk to you.
Go to a mall (one of my favorites).
Stores in malls hire attractive young women.
Walk into every store, and start conversations.
Practice making eye contact.
Come up with a few jokes that you can use in any situation ("So, do you own this store? Perfect, then you won't care if I just take some things..."
Ask the salesgirls to smell your new cologne (the one you sprayed on your wrist next door) and give you her opinion.
The more you do this, the more you'll get used to starting conversations with women you don't know, and having comfortable conversations.

3) Choose one default thing for each situation.
It amazes me that guys don't think ahead.
They don't plan what they're going to do.
As the old saying goes "By failing to plan, you plan to fail"
You really need to figure out a DEFAULT thing you can do to start a conversation with any woman, anywhere, anytime.
Once you come up with your idea, mentally rehearse it until you could do it in any situation.
Then get out and do it.


HOW TO AVOID REJECTION AND INCREASE SUCCESS


Human beings tend to want to "save face" when it comes to relationships.
We don't like the idea that another person has outright "rejected" us, and we ALSO tend to not want to "hurt other people's feelings" by rejecting them.
This is one of the reasons why women will often lie and say "I have a boyfriend" when they don't.
You must become aware of these "subconscious" processes and motivations, work with them, and eventually become the master of them.
Learn to recognize when a woman is "politely saying no thanks", and move on.
If a woman isn't interested in you, forget about it. It doesn't matter.
Go to the next one. There are plenty.


LEARN HOW AND WHY WOMAN FEEL ATTRACTION FOR MEN


Most men believe that if they could only overcome their own fear of rejection, and learn how to start talking to women, all their problems would be solved.
Not so!
Just because you can start conversations with women doesn't mean that they'll feel ATTRACTION for you.
It took me a LONG time to really "get" this.
It took me even LONGER to realize that there is actually a way to make women feel the emotion of ATTRACTION for you...just by the way you communicate with them.
I used to believe that it was a mysterious, lucky accident when a woman felt ATTRACTION.
Now I realize that it's only "lucky" for those guys who don't understand it (and very few do).

This is one of the reason why i like nairaland. It is a joke avenue.

Just tell her to face her study and keep saying no till she is old enough to know what is right for her.

I think it should be "go easy my younger one"

OP is just joking because if she really mean it, we won't be seeing this post but her obituary.

"NEVER MISTAKE MY SILENCE FOR WEAKNESS, NO ONE PLANS A MURDER OUT LOUD" 4rm a nairalander signature.
There is a difference btw being gentle and a womanwrapper. You might be gentle and not be a womanwrapper and you might be called the badest guy and still pratice the following.
- Saying thank u for accepting my friend requst
- You hit the like button on her DP here on nairaland when she can even overthrow your granny in term of beauty
- You comment and quote her unnecessary just to have her attention
- You liked her post even when she posted rubbish
- You followed her here on nairaland like the three blades of ceiling fan when there are better brothers that you can follow and so on...

girls have the most like here where guys have nothing

Op why can't you just ignore them and move on with ur caliber anyway i don't know what ur definitn for pride is but i gat this big thing with me #EGO

Op if you are rich, the answer is yes bcoz most of the pastors nowadays worship money

krall: am talking real life issue you are talking nollywood you lack respect

I'm sorry sir
i don't give respect to people bcoz they are richer or older than me. I will only respect you if you have something upstair (if u'r wise) bcoz no sane human being will try to do what you claimed that you have done.
no offence big brother

Op i think you should try again bcoz Nollywood won't buy this cheap story.

Imagine you are about falling from a 6 storey building. but u still hanging onto a brick and u need help urgently .. then a man who has Ebola virus stretches his hand to help u ..
what would u do ?

Amusaopeyemi: What Hez saying is that, children have got very fragile immune system and most of them must have travelled to different parts of Nigeria for the long vacation, who knows what who will come back with and start sharing in class.
Safety first before education o, na person wey dey alive go go school.

mistress, dis dude is no longer a kid and no case of children in primary or secondary school been reported for having d disease.Apart from dat teachers in private schools both (pri & sec) also have family nd other things to look after while the moto of their work is "no work no pay" who will feed them?

SUBMARINE: And some private school owners were advocating that schools be opened


Close down schools till next year to prevent it spreading faster

are you saying that school is the only interacting place

Though i am not perfect and i don't try to be.
I once have a gf then but there are so many things about her that piss me off. She is older than me but i can't see that to be an issue. To me, her childish behaviour was the problem and i tried to change that. She told me that some people are complaining about me that i'm so proud and i let her realized that it is not pride but self-esteem and i also propose to her that it will be a good thing if she can have highly opinion of herself. So with my little understanding i tried my possible best which yield both positve and a negative results. Out of the negative results was that she realized that her uncle's family which she has been living with for some years are maltreating her and she made some silly decision then that she won't return back to her them again. whereas the uncle was her back bone then. So we did have a little quarrel over it but latter settled. But our ways latter pathed the day she cooked it out with me that i am cheating over her because she always dicussed it with me whenever an admirer talks to her and i didn't seem to be so much concerned and whereas how can most of my friend be female and so on. Though she is still want to stay then, i've decided that she is not the one for me.
I am a good person but i don't tried to waste much of my time to prove it.

1. Three 1.0uf capacitor are (a) connected in series to a 2.0v battery (b) connectd parallel with each other and 2.0v battery, cal the charge on each of the capacitors in each a&b
2. Cal the electrostatic force between two alpha particles when 3.2 x 10^-12c also if the mass of each particle is 6.68 x 10^-27. Cal the gravitational force between the two particles.Compare the magnitude of the calculated force using electrical constant value of 9 x 10^7 nmc and gravitational constant of 6.67 x 10^11.
3. A charge of 1.6 x 10^-19c enters a magnetic field of flux density 2.0w/m^ with a velocity of 2.5 x 10^7m/s. Cal the force on the charge with an angle of 30"
4.cal the force on a cable of length 200m carrying a current of 200A in a direction of N30"E at a place where the horizontal component of the cable magnetic field is 10^-5
thanks in advance

How good will it be if our africa queens can learn from this.

I do share my password with anyone coz i gat nothing to hid.

Akin was transfered to your department and within that shot period you have start talking to him about his affairs.
i thought we are done with super story this year.

Castr..... Wat
this must be a joke

Hell no i wont.

If it always happen when you are with opposite sex then your mind need rehab coz it is corrupt like Nigeria's leader.