₦airaland Forum

tundenaija:
how can you propose 3 weeks after you met a girl na wah for you oh, anyway it works for some people but you cant just ,

helovesme:
YOU HAVE SAID IT ALL.

He is with her because he wanted to get his stay in the UK.

And the girl knows it. Reason why she is treating him like a puppet.

How else can one explain all the poo the poster took from her in the name of ''LOVE''

Love ko, Lion ni,

persist:
I don't think it was wrong stopping the relationship in fact you did the right thing but Mr poster correct me if I am wrong you had a motive of living off her in the first place and also saw it as an oppurtunity to stay back in the UK as your visa was running out because why on earth will you marry on a relationship of 1 month plus and forgive the lady so much.

Just believe I know you can do make a better life in nigeria.

persist:
I don't think it was wrong stopping the relationship in fact you did the right thing but Mr poster correct me if I am wrong you had a motive of living off her in the first place and also saw it as an oppurtunity to stay back in the UK  as your visa was running out because why on earth will you marry on a relationship of 1 month plus  and forgive the lady so much.

Just believe I know you can  do make a better life in nigeria.

Hamid O:
You think your skills failed you right, na the same skill way make you wake up to know say no road for there o.LOL
Just thank God you didn't take the big step, seems more like bondage in the making.

Hamid O:
You think your skills failed you right, na the same skill way make you wake up to know say no road for there o.LOL
Just thank God you didn't take the big step, seems more like bondage in the making.
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e b like say u yarn correct o, laughs

mikkyphp:
LOL, this reminds me of the thread also on the front page where the OP came to 9ja to get a wife and he's now lamenting that she's this n that. Please tell me where dremoney will go to find a wife if he can't get in UK,America or even Nigeria,

Hamid O:
With her parents living there, do you think she'll ever relocate to Nigeria with you assuming you guyz are together?? Don't forget there'll be kids in the equation then. By the the way, you don't seem desperate for marriage now, you have your plans well spelt out which I like so much. I think you should stick to your initial plans while looking for a more reasonable lady.

denzel2009:
Please can you use your good office to tell me the internet site you met her. How to shine a Doctor's kongo in 3 days

otokx:
Both of them are guilty

Hamid O:
I have a feeling you'll still go back cos you've done so several times. For me I'll act as if I never met such a person my whole life, anyone that doesn't encourage you to help your family before marriage will do everything to stop you when you eventually get married. Ideally I think she needs you more cos of her age but i really agree with you that she is very bad in managing relationships. What were you thinking allowing her parents settle your fights? Her parents are third parties which any relationship shouldn't allow, not even your own parent should have a say. Run for your life bro,  I just hope you won't go back to that lady cos i think you will.

ceej:
My brother it is not working. Most  Nigerian girls are like that.Especially this one from a broken home.She cant give what she does not have. She will divorce u some day.Love is not-material.Since she works and even earn better she can foot the bills knowing fully well that someday you will earn good too and carry the responsibilities.

triistar86:
At times I wonder why people create threads? I think some people just do so to increase their number of posts on nairaland or jst for boredom. Some questions should never even be asked for crying out loud. If all you said is through please kindly help me tell your ex-fiancée to go hump herself

And my guy I hope say you shine that congo very very well before you left her considering all you have spent cos if not you mess up big time

Basildon1:
U did the right thing definitely but i think she's got a british passport and you wanted her just for papers, she wanted you for marriage and she was ready to squeeze you dry cos she felt you were more desperate. It is obvious you guys dont love each other and your story is too one sided. U have filtered down the whole thing for us!

I'm glad that you have come back to your senses and realised that a life of slavery to another woman is not worth it just to stay in the UK. Why else would you have proposed in 3 weeks? Love? Ha!

listentome:
Thank you so much everyone for your replies.

I should point it out that my boyfriend works. . . .he is not lazy. . .  just that he does not get regular hours from the company he works for. His job is far from decent. Also, all the time he was studying, he could not work more than 20hours weekly.

I must also say here that my boyfriend is sleek, goodlooking, very humble and you will never imagine for a second imagine that he has little or nothing in his bank account. As a matter of fact, my female friends actually think that he actually takes me shopping on his tab to get some of the nice things in my wardrobe.

I am quite sure that he has little or nothing because a few times we have checked his bank balance together at the cash machine and online and he has little or nothing there. So i am quite sure that he is not lying about his cashless state.

He has never asked me for money. It took a lot of smart probing for him to relax and feel free to open up to me on his financial state. The two occasions i have learnt him money, i was the one that offered to help because i felt the man  i love cannot be in such difficulty while i sit and do nothing. If i had not loaned him the money to sort out his visa issue, he would be preparing to pack his bags to go back to  Nigeria by now. I actually scolded him for not telling me about the problem until very late.

That said, despite the fact that he didnt have much, he got me an expensive and classy gift for christmas that left me dazzled and very impressed. I know he must have really saved for it. However, this is the first and only time that he has gotten me any gift although we do go out to cinemas, pizzas a few times and he picks the tab and at other times i pay for part or the entire bill.

I just felt rather sad yesterday when i saw my account balance in red but i get paid tomorrow and i am back in the green again. Besides, i have never dated any man before that had to rely on me so much and this is a new experience for me and i just wanted to seek people's opinion to what i am doing is okay or wrong or if i should adopt a different approach.

MeGaStReEt:
Sesan what

If i catch this guy i go slap am for that rubbish video wey e go do for Wande Coal

any music video from this guy is wackkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Gbawe:
Even as I agree with some of what you wrote , the part in bold is , frankly, impossible. No Country in West Africa has the innate potential to become the "economic powerhouse of West Africa" ahead of Nigeria. It is simply not possible because of the huge disparity in human and natural resources between Nigeria and other West African nations. Our population, labour Market (skilled and unskilled) , natural endowment and vast goods/services consumer market (that saw Nigeria become one of the fastest growing telecom market in the world) are serious economic considerations no West African nation has or can gain anytime soon !!!!

In fact if Nigeria continues to be misruled for the next 50 years and other nations , such as Ghana and CIV,  operate at optimum we will still not see any West African nation become an economic regional powerhouse above Nigeria. Other West African nations , and most African nations, simply do not have our diverse range of endowment we are currently seriously under-utilising while the likes of South Africa and Egypt are now essentially as developed as they will possibly ever be !!!!

South Africa cannot suddenly increase its population from 58 million to 120 million overnight and it will struggle to further diversify its already optimally diverse economy. Nigeria on the other hand has an economy that , worldwide, probably has the greatest potentials for diversification with the attendant opportunity for generating the type of new and economically transformational income others can only dream of !!!! It is inept leadership thats has kept Nigeria obtusely focused entirely on oil alone when there are myriads of non-oil potential income generators !!!!

We must operate within the realm of reality and not fantasies bandied about popularly. Do you , for example, know that of the top 50 companies in West Africa (2010) 42 are from Nigeria while 4 are from CIV and 3 from Ghana?

Do you know that many respected non-African (and therefore non-partisan) economic analyst have posited that the Nigerian economy may become the biggest in Africa (toppling South Africa) as early as 2011-2012?

there are too many other indices that show , even with abject mismanagement of its resources, just how economically far ahead Nigeria is in comparison with other West African nations . Suffice to say that if Nigeria , assisted by good leadership, operates optimally for the next 10 years it can become something few nahttp://234next.com/csp/cms/sites/Next/Money/Finance/5580349-146/poor_infrastructure_takes_shine_off_cbn.csptions in Africa (and non in West Africa) can become - one of the top 20 economies of the World in the near future.

jmoore:
WHO SAID THE MORE DEVELOPED A COUNTRY THE HIGHER THE DEBT BECOMES? THAT IS A WRONG PRINCIPLE!!!!!


YOU DID NOT PUT CHINA IN YOUR LIST!!!

CHINA IS DEVELOPED!!! AND THEY ARE NOT INTO BIG DEBT LIKE THOSE COUNTRIES YOU LISTED

faithin9ja:
Dear Poster

to answer your specific question;

Airfreight your personal effects, £3.50 per kilo, will be with you in less than 10 days.

Buy a gen in UK, £800 or less for 20KVA (equivalent in Nigeria N1.5mill), very good model, put this is a van or 4x4, also an LCD TV in original packaging, by ship from Tilbury or Sheerness should cost no more than £1000 for freight and cost N250k to clear depending on the vehicle, shouldn't take longer than 8 weeks to get to your door. don't worry no more wharf rats in Apapa or Tin Can.

Customs frown on fridges and furniture so don't bother with them and buy locally, but you can airfreight flatpack Ikea type furniture.

Get a good agent for a property in Dolphin, Dolphin is good for links to Island and the Airport, but sometimes it can flood during rainy season although recent drainage work have solved some of these problems.

Landlord will want 2 years upfront but you can negotiate this to pay first year immediately and the subsequent year in a few months time, the agents and lawyer will want 10% to 20%, they will want full amount upfront. Remember all this is subject negotiation.

When you have settled a bit you can buy a smaller car in Nigeria, you need 2 cars in Nigeria, buy a Kia or Hyundai or smaller Toyota or Honda. You can get finance for this, after your initial deposit it will probably cost about N50k a month.

You can also consider buying a house after a couple of years, you can get a finance for this as well, no credit reference agencies here, you'll need at least 25% - 40% deposit and repayment is not more than 7 years, usually as short as 5 years - so not really a mortgage, rather a secured loan. You will find your loan repayments will be more than the equivalent rent for such a property.

You will also need to factor in some domestic help, some people pay as low N15k a month for cook or steward, I would suggest much more, closer to N30k - N40k, personal driver N30k - N40K pcm, diesel will cost you up to N80k month (much more than your EON bill in UK), you will lose a further N20k every month to small 'egunje' from your staff.

Anyway these are just pointers, am sure you will do your research.

faithin9ja:
@Vavavoom, I called them 'haters' because as I find with many Nigerians, we don't like our own country, always talking ourself down. See my tag Faith in 9ja!!!


The poster asked for advice regarding living arrangements not his business, but we seem to want to advice him on his business.

@newvision, it's taken me a year to settle and I am still settling down.

Please note Nigeria is not easy, there are many challenges but it is in the midst of these challenges that money can be made. There's a bad power supply so people are making money in solar power generation, there's poor water supply so people are making money in water pumping equipment, there is limited housing, so people are making money in building material. I say this just to highlight to other Nigerians, opportunities that exist within this great but difficult country.

But the poster asks for living conditions and we decide to highlight all the difficulties, am sure he is already aware of these challenges, but he (I presume it's a he) and other foreigners; Indians, Lebanese, Israelis, South Africans are coming to live in Nigeria, this same Nigeria that nairalanders continue to highlight the negatives.

Don't get me wrong, am not naive and I know the problems as much as any other Nigerian but I also know it is only we Nigerians that can do our little bit to improve the country. By coming back the poster will do his bit to help Nigeria, at least he will employ one or two people.