₦airaland Forum

@cito us

tnx for making up for the dry joke

Naija_Sisi:
ku ku

watz d meaning?

kia kia
pata pata

9c one

thanks mj

Just checked this morning, am just going tru it. I'll get back to u

Studio CFR:
Thank you Thank you

I'm a man and not a boy my friend lol

If u say so . . .

Studio CFR: No oofffeince

lol

Hi,am having a little problem with a script am work on, have gone tru it many times and still dont get why it shuldn't be working. can u give me ur email so I can forward it to you? Thanks

Since its only JAVA you want to learn y not go somewhere else or get sm1 gud in JAVA to teach u. you'll be paying a lot for so little.bt as elderbros said make we no spoil market.

Studio CFR:
Where is the joke?

aww !! Stud u dint get dis too right?
dont worry let me explain. The woman thought "hymn" meant "him".
now do get that? gud boy. lol

lol. I've seen it b4 but its still funny.

Studio CFR ]where is the joke?[/quote]Seriously Stud, she had to really do all dat explanation b4 you finally got the joke
to quote u  [quote author=Studio CFR:
No oofffeince

but how on earth did u pass the common entrance exam? 

@Inked_Nerd
you are so nice and patience to break it down and explain it the way he can finally get it. A kindergarten teacher couldn't av done a better job. 

lolzz   9c 1 @ poster

Vic2k3:
9ice creative work. But i kinda of failed all the ques i hope that doesn't make me a dummy lol.

well. . . I hope so too lol

skyndyp:
Dopsy sorry o We are testing our brains on your thread

blacksta:
Hey love - u no see my text  - abeg leave that dupsy  - Dupsy your thread go die soon if we leave

abeg make una two comot jor, enter room ;

@blakky n skyny
BIA, y are you two always playing loovey dovey on my thread. y not create a special thread for dat. E sora yin o

OK, here`s a test to get your brain thinking. . .

1. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

A: Did you say you can't or you'd squish him in? WRONG! The answer is open the door. Put the elephant in, close the door. This question tests your ability to think practically.

2. How do you put an giraffe into a refrigerator?

A: Open the door, put him in, close the door? WRONG! The answer is open the door, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests you ability to learn from your previous mistakes.

3. The lion king has decided to hold an animal conference and all the animals attend except one. Which animal could not make it?

A: The answer to this question is the giraffe. Did you forget that his is still locked in the fridge? This question tests your ability to remember.

4. You come to a crocodile infested river but it is necessary that you cross. How do you make it across without being attacked?

A: This answer is a rather simple one: You get in, swim across and get out again as there is no need to worry as all the crocodiles are at the animal conference.This question tests whether you tend to do things the difficult way or not.

Efemena_xy:
Mr Abbot, the sales representative should be sacked!!

Nice joke @poster! 

tnx Efe but wats all dis bantering u all are using 2 "derail" my thread. . . take time o.    lol

Here's  the Part 2

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?
ABBOTT: Of course.

COSTELLO: Great! With what?
ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".

COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue "1".

COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.

COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.

COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.

COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.

COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows!

lol
kai! datz was very punny

lol, lol 9c 1

LMAO

@poster 9C 1

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?" "Of course. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought an expensive! electronic hair dryer that is well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie." "With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?" "From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare. " The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

"I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father - - Next!"

People in developing countries like Nigeria are not as intelligent as those in the developed climes because diseases have chained the former’s initiative, suggests a new study by United States scientists.

The report claims that people in developing countries where diseases are rife have lower intelligence quotients because their bodies divert energy from brainpower to fighting diseases.

In hot nations blighted by deadly infections, the priority is survival and populations have evolved to develop stronger immune systems rather than intelligence, insists the controversial theory.

Already, some critics are warning that the study can stoke the fire of racism if it is suggesting that people in the developing countries are not as intelligent as those in cooler, richer climes, according to The Mail of London.

Others pointed out that the ancient Persians, Greeks and Romans lived in hot climates and still boasted extraordinary civilisations.

However, a development scholar, Prof. Ikechukwu Nwosu, says the study is suspicious, arguing that while disease and poverty can affect performance, their relationship with IQ “is not sustainable.” He says that there are many intervening variables affecting IQ development and diseases are just one of them.

The scientists claim that their report, which was released last week, can explain why national IQ scores vary around the world and are lower in some warmer countries stricken by diseases such as malaria, tetanus and tuberculosis.

The researchers behind the theory claim the impact of disease on IQ scores has been under-appreciated, and believe it ranks alongside education and wealth as a major factor that influences cognitive ability, reports The Guardian of London.

Attempts to measure intelligence around the world are fraught with difficulty and many researchers doubt that IQ tests are a suitable tool for the job. The average intelligence of a nation is likely to be governed by a web of interwoven factors.

The latest theory, put forward by Randy Thornhill and others at the University of New Mexico, The Guardian of London notes, adds disease to a long list of environmental and other issues that may all play a role in determining intelligence. Thornhill made the news in 2000, when he co-authored a provocative book called A Natural History of despoil in which he argues that sexual coercion emerged as an evolutionary adaptation.

Writing in the journal, Proceedings of the Royal Society, Thornhill and his colleagues explain that children under five devote much of their energy to brain development. When the body has to fight infections, it may have to sacrifice brain development, they say.

To test the idea, Thornhill’s group used three published surveys of global IQ scores and compared them with data from the World Health Organisation on how badly infectious diseases affect different countries. The list included common infections, such as malaria, tetanus and tuberculosis.

The scientists found that the level of infectious diseases in a country was closely linked to the average national IQ. The heavier the burden of disease, the lower the nation’s IQ scores. Thornhill believes that nations who have lived with diseases for long periods may have adapted, by developing better immune systems at the expense of brain function.

“The effect of infectious disease on IQ is bigger than any other single factor we looked at,” said Chris Eppig, lead author on the paper. “Disease is a major sap on the body’s energy, and the brain takes a lot of energy to build. If you don’t have enough, you can’t do it properly.”

“The consequence of this, if we’re right, is that the IQ of a nation will be largely unaffected until you can lift the burden of disease,” Eppig added.

“It’s an interesting and provocative finding,” the director of the UCL Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience, Mr. Geraint Rees, tells The Guardian of London.

“It explains about 50 to 60 per cent of the variability in IQ scores and appears to be independent of some other factors such as overall Gross Domestic Product.”

“The authors suggest that more infectious diseases could lead to lower IQ scores through an impact on brain development. This is an interesting speculation, but the data don’t prove it one way or the other,” he said.

“A bigger problem is that it might be driven by a third factor that affects both infectious disease prevalence and IQ test scores.”

For reasons that are unclear, IQ scores are generally rising around the world. Thornhill suggests monitoring rates of infectious diseases in nations as they develop, to see if they decline and IQ tests scores rise.

Critics of the study, however, argue that there are many different kinds of intelligence that Western academic-based IQ tests fail to measure.

Low IQ does not necessarily translate into stupidity or incompetence, they said. People in hot countries have the intellectual skills to survive in very difficult environments.

The research could be abused to rationalise racism, just as the Nazis perverted scientific study in the 1930s, some critics, according to The Guardian of London.

Experts pointed out that children fighting debilitating diseases are likely to miss a lot of school, which could be the real reason for a lower IQ score, not compromised brain development.

Nwosu, who is the immediate past director of the Institute of Development Studies, University of Nigeria, says nobody is born with low IQ but environmental factors can affect IQ development.

“I agree with the study that diseases can affect IQ development but I disagree with it if it is suggesting people in developed countries have higher IQ than people in developing countries,” says Nwosu who is currently the Dean of the Business Faculty of University of Nigeria.

“From that perspective the study is suspicious. Yes, certain conditions may affect one’s capacity to develop one’s IQ to the optimum, but nobody is born with low IQ whether in developed or developing countries. There are people in developing countries with high IQ; there are also people in developed countries with low IQ.”

But a professor of psychology at Ulster University, Richard Lynn, said disease and IQ are a two-way relationship, with low national IQs being partly responsible for widespread infectious diseases.

“In recent decades, HIV has been a serious infectious disease, and it has a high infection rate in low IQ countries, especially in southern Africa, where it is present in around 30 per cent of the population … This is attributable to the low IQ of the population who do not understand the way the infection is contracted, and have erroneous beliefs about how to prevent infection.”

Indeed, the claims of the new study will excite Lynn as they are similar to the claims made in the controversial 2002 book, IQ and the Wealth of Nations, which he co-authored with Dr. Tatu Vanhanen, Professor Emeritus of Political Science at the University of Tampere, Tampere, Finland.

The central argument of IQ and the Wealth of Nations is that the average IQ of a nation correlates with its Gross Domestic Product; that is, low GDP can cause low IQ, just as low IQ can cause low GDP. The authors state that average IQ differences between nations are due to both genetic and economic factors.

The book includes the authors’ calculation of average IQ scores for 81 countries, based on their analysis of published reports. For 104 of the 185 nations, no studies were available. In those cases, the authors used an estimated value by taking averages of the IQs of neighbouring or comparable nations.

The authors assigned Hong Kong the highest IQ estimate of 107 followed by South Korea which they assigned 106 and Japan, which was assigned 105.

Morocco was assigned the highest 1Q average in Africa-85, followed by Egypt-83. The authors assigned Zambia the highest in sub-Saharan Africa-77, followed by Congo Brazzaville and Uganda which were both assigned 73. Nigeria was assigned 67 behind Kenya, South Africa, Sudan, Tanzania and Ghana.

Source http://www.punchng.com/Articl.aspx?theartic=Art201007080565198

@Efemena_xy , dani1luv

Thanks

^^^
u dey fear?

On a really hot day, four nuns were assigned to paint a room in their church. After sweating for a few hours in those black robes, they decided to take off all their clothes and paint naked.

An hour later, someone knocked on the door of the church.

"Who is it?" they called out.

"I'm the blind man," came the reply.

The nuns decided to let him in since he wouldn't be able to see them.

They opened the door and led him to the room they were painting.

They were surprised when he walked around the room with no difficulty.

"Okay, sisters," he said, "where do you want the blinds?"

Idowuogbo:
lmao ,walai
eti popo, u quite gud wiv proverbs
i envy u , dont worri i wud use your posts to learn
drop more cus am your registered student , i don enrol
make class begin!!!!!!!

heeehee
kilomode mi mo
I still dey look for the meaning of " oluwere omo osa" wey u drop before
I dey learn from you too
afterall "Fotun wo Fosi wo; ohun taba dijo wo gigun ni gun" and "Kafi owo we owo lonje ki owo mo"
anytime u need one let me know, I get plenty Ijinle Yoruba people 4 my side.
Drop more of "Oluwere omo osa" lol

Ile nko, she alafia ni ewa?

lol
won ki mu eshishin lale ke
to ba be gan oma kan lese ni.

Idowuogbo:
mami she wa? emi mo pe ewa bi ewa
omo yen fe fi eyin wu igi iroko ni jare
as omo agba , mo je ko ye pe
oma ka leyin to ba she be
@ chi d omo ina
i still dey wait , so u no fit even google am
hai na wah 4 u oo

google loun loun
ko lemi ee

she wa pa

chaircover:
He is just an attention seeking time waster, living in a world of fantasy

figures

blackwood:
I left the office at about 3 o’clock ( I had already resigned but i gave two weeks notice which still amounts to no pay as I did not give up four weeks which is required),

u neva start the job sef
So where did u get the 180k to buy the ring ??

favouredjb:
;

this would really make a good nollwood script

he try small

Orikinla:
Some people were born to cheat.
Cheating flows in their veins.
Cheating is in their genes.

Behaviour change is difficult for these kind of people.
They are like kleptomaniacs.

So, we might as well accept them as they are.

The devil can never stop being evil.
A cheat will always be a cheat in one way or the another way.

. . . so wat will YOU do if you were the opposite gender?

@post
Male would always be Male, and Females, female. If I were a male guess I'll also behave like any other male.
Male or Female the kind of person u turn out to be depends on YOU

Summary pls. . .

THE MESSAGE “THE LAST TRUMPET”
I was in the woods praying unique desert prayers. It was on December 12th of 2003, 8PM at night (20.00’ PM). As I was praying, I was in the Spirit and I heard a loud voice roaring like a violent rushing wind.

never heard of that kind of prayer

Idowuogbo:
6alrite oo, i hear u mama gunchester
cus i dont want u 2 come and gun me down
am scared

so wots oluwere omo osa in yoruba den (transalate if u like cheat )

ha haaa! lmao

madam, e take e easy pelu e,ee ti e shanu e rara. omode oki mo oyin je ko ma ra lowo now
e jebure