₦airaland Forum

I have personally experienced bile from women trying to conceive as a single mom with son.
Alot of them say nonsense abt why does God give children to those who are not ready, while they have been praying for children fervently.
Such dumb nonsense, who told u God gives children on a quota basis, why r u so concerned abt wat takes place in others wombs. why dont u just rejoice with them that rejoice& mourn with them that mourn, yes even those who had to make the painful decision to have abortions and stop this disgusting self pitying bullshit that can only cause further harm to u.

I remember when i was preggers, a dear married friend was also preggers but unfortunately she lost her baby& was really ill for a while.
She struggled for almost two years after that to conceive again& when she did was completely on bed rest, till she had her baby via cs.
Thruout, i tried to be a friend to her but she kept saying things like how life isnt fair, how come i got to work throughout my pregnancy, have my baby naturally&have a gorgeous son. (Hers was a girl& she had her heart set on a boy.)
it was annoying but i understood&i forgave because dats wat friends do

Love
Youth
Success

Unilag- Fun :DUnilag- Fun

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dear poster YOU HAVE SERIOUS issues!

first of all, your boyfriend proposes to you , you accept AND THEN you come asking if you should marry him, isnt that callous immaturity? why didnt you tell him to give you time to think about it& use that time to seek counsel? u have just portrayed urself as a foolish&unthinking woman who doesnt value her commitments

Secondly, you have no understanding of the role of money in relationships. Instead of being bothered that ur bf doesnt give u money for hair which u clearly DONT NEED, u should have been more concerned with how he spends his money. Does he still live @ home because hes the one paying the bills? is he frivolous or always in debt? is he financially savvy? those are the kinds of money questions a wife-to-be asks. Not he doesnt pay for my hair&makeup like a dumb teenager.

Thirdly, its obvious from ur post that u guys struggling in the comunication dept. all the answers u need can only be gotten from ur bf. Instead of talking openly&sincerely with him abt ur reservations, ure here on N/L displaying ur childishness. What kind of wife are u planning to be if u dont know how to get this man to talk with you abt important things?
babes grow up abeg. make friends with reponsible married women so u can be mentored. u might be 30 but darling u think like a 20 yr old school girl.

look up the humanitarian and leadership academy of Save the Children Uk. heard they are hiring interns

you should also follow @Aidjobs on twitter&read through their recent posts, its a comprehensive list of available jobs in development all over the world. Goodluck.

I think you should tell the girl whats happening. Since she's also saved&led by the spirit she would understand.
It would be a bad idea to keep your relationship undefined for much longer because nothing good can come out of that!

any 2011 batch C serving in portharcourt ? i am looking for an apartment in PHC so if theres anyone here whos moving out of PHC holla abeg.

Adedoks: whoa! Gud to kmw deres another akokite in d ouse,no update yet o bt heard d call up letter wil be out by thursday.whch department did u finish 4rm

Greatest akokites! lol! studied law. so they havent pasted the list @all? its well...

@ Adedoks- any update from unilag?

[quote author=xcuggs_m]I advice the lady should make the best out of the situation:
1. Send d house girl to a nursing home where she would be looked after till she delivers the baby.
2. She and her husband should then adopt the baby and raise the child as their own.

To divorce the husband because of what happened will be height of FOOLISHNESS![/quote]To divorce a man who has sex with a maid in his custody, is irresonsible enough to get her pregnant& unrepentantly blames his wife for his error is FOOLISHNESS to u?! its ok. Pls kindly let us know what village ure from so single ladies on Nl will know where not to marry from...

Chei some nigerian men make the devil look good

Before u employ any maid/ driver/salesgirl/cook etc be sure u get all of the following:
1)a guarantors letter from any (verified)decent elder in ur community &environment. Even if you are utilizing the services of an angency, get your independent letter from the potential staff. You will be surprised that so many people would recommend people to you but will be unwilling to stand as suretys for them. Be careful, there are so many sad stories of evils perpertuated by domestic help
2)two full length photographs of the person. U dont want to be in the situation where a driver has absconded with the car/children& all the police has to work with is your word of mouth description.
3)fingerprint samples- even business centers have data capture machines these days, its essential you have the fingerprint samples of ur domestic staff, it makes it easier to prove or exonerate them in cases of theft/violence

Finally, track your car..so many it firms offer car tracking these days.

@poster, the answer is simply this-NOBODY should marry someone they dont like/love!!

It doesnt matter whether you are a single parent, a divorcee, physically challenged, financially crippled etc, marrying someone out of desperation is signing urself to a lifetime of misery.
Dont listen to all those telling u what ur chances are of getting married they are not Jehovah they dont know ur future.
Just thank God that someone is interested in u already, ask Him to send u ur own husband& expect Him to come through for you.

However dont shortchange urself by thinking it has to be a single never been married man,(older men can be yummy, trust me) just expect someone u can love.
Cheers

@dayokanu
In case you missed it, i was talking about the relationship between a husband &a wife who earns a steady income. Not some guy& his gf.

most women have found that whilst they are expected to spend most of income on themselves& the kids, their husbands are free to make financial decisions they ie their wives dont agree with. Infact in some parts of yoruba culture the woman is expected to hand over her money to her husband who decides what happens to it.

Hence the 'my money is ours& his money is his syndrome'

PS -u are free to have a different opinion but next time resist that itch u have to hurl cheap insults around cyberspace..

@ desirel
"his money was his and my money was ours" is a very typical Nigerian mans mindset.
That is why so many Nigerian women make financial demands from their significant others .
Most have found out that financial independence in a wife is most of the time taken advantage of.


i am glad things are much better for you now& i hope things get better for that poster also because a divorce would just put her in worse financial straits.