₦airaland Forum

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Stop comparing youself to other women. Mentally comparing urself to others is the fastest way to feel insecure.
There will always be someone who is slimmer, prettier, smarter or sexier than you. Accept that.

Love yourself anyway.
Celebrate your uniqueness, be lavish with gratitude.
Smile.

Lack of discipline.
Cheating is so freaking easy. Faithfulness? now thats hard.

Hmm, whats else can i say?

[quote author=Ivynwa]@Lady Bluediva
Good to see that you wiped off the other posts directed at Durobraham.
@Durobraham it's okay dear

Thanks for ur attempt @mediation. Its greatly appreciated.

I actually just read all the nonsense this old lady wrote. Madam, i wont waste my words on u. Ure doing a great job of displaying how despicable u really are.
D fact that i didnt even bother reading all that u wrote here but u had the time to read my older posts makes me feel even more sorry for you.
Sorry for bruising ur online ego maam, its obviously one of ur self esteem boosters.
Ure such a sad&sorry specimen.All these venom for what?someone who doesnt give a flying mess wat u tink!

I now understand why the bible admonishes us not to rebuke an elder. Some people are so set in their dumb ways,they would never change.
@BlueDiva read comments by other women on this thread cant u see that without ur stupid self-aggrandizing bullcrap, they manage to pass the same message across?!Ure so proud of ur lack of compassion&sympathy, yet u wonder why people are disgusted by ur post.
A lady is known by her words,her kindness&her humility,u wuld rather b Madam ferocious online bully.LMAO

...

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will

BlueDiva: You are so smart you couldn't give a decent advice.
Even retards like you want to have an opinion. Another waste of space.

Wonder are indeed unending!
Even someone as arrogant,rude&condescending as this troll called Blue Diva can look another woman in d eye&tell her that her marriage sucks because of her character defects.

Madam paragon of virtue abeg no vex let me continue wasting space by giving not decent advice, IMO its still a heck of alot better than anything u can come up with.

shift joor!

secondly@poster u asked if u should move out or stay for the sake of the kids?
do u really think that those are ur options?
ur husband is an abuser, u by all indications have been an enabler. U have both emotionally abused ur 3kids.
Do u really think that if u move out eight years of abuse would be wiped out& it would be eldorado for y'all?
u said u moved out earlier but u came back. why did u come back?
u said he begged u. did he promise he'll change&did u believe it?
Or did u go back because u realized dat moving out wasnt easy& then u gave up?
I said all dat to say this, ur goal should be how do i irrespective of all that has happened in my family grow into a healthy happy woman?
how do i raise healthy happy kids?

Madam there is no one size fits all for u in this situation. its not as simple as u moving out or getting a divorce?
all these things are steps but not the goal. What u need is peace&joy! Who u need to be is an emotionally healthy woman.
what u need to develop is strength courage& wisdom
d honest truth is that living with ur abusive husband would require wisdom&so will being a divorced seperated mother of 3.
if d physical abuse is severe or life threatening i would suggest u move out temporarily but if not i would suggest u follow d next few steps i would share with u toward healing irrespective of ur past hurts.

@bunmi2012
i usually dont bother replying posts like these because i have realized that most women in ur position dont want answers they only want sympathy.
so i ask do u really want help?
do u also realize that theres no easy way out/fix for ur situation?

R u ready to give it all it takes? if ure then read on

1)the first question you have to sincerely answer is this-
Do i want to be happy or do i want my husband to change?
its seems like such a simple question but it actually would define all u do from now on.

my dear sister, realize now that ur husband may never change. No matter how submissive, sexy or sweet u become ur husband may not change.
u can attend every church service u can,pray all night 4 d rest of ur life, get anionted with so much oil that u look like a grilled turkey, ur husband may still remain the same.

Prayers are great &God is awesome but PEOPLE CHOOSE WHO THEY ARE!! God doesnt change people but people can coperate with God to help them change.

So dear bunmi2012, if u want us to help ur husband change,i am really sorry i cant help u with that , no can really.

BlueDiva: LOL. . .that's why i said thank God.
Sometimes you don't push a person too far.

@OP
The reason i hardly respond to all these threads is because it is always one sided.
The woman/man always paints a very bad picture of the spouse while not mentioning their faults.

These faults might be what is making the partner act the way they do.
He is your hubby, you dated him and loved him before. Figure him out!

"these faults might be what is making the partner act the way they do" Really?! these virulently dumb trolls on nairaland.