₦airaland Forum

A software development firm requires the immediate engagement of a skilled C# Developer in Abuja on a Project. Interested person should upload his/her most complex app source code on GitHub platform temporarily and the link sent to emmyluks@gmail.com for appraisal and further conversation.

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Application is required from interested persons for a Six months data entry in Abuja. Applicants must be knowlegeable on Microsoft Office and have basic computer skills.

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cramjones:
Here is a breakdown of monies that have been wasted by GEJ:

1. Over $40 million were distributed to Pastors and other Christian leaders

2. Over $25 million were distributed to Imams in the North

3. Over $20 million were distributed to traditional leaders accross the country. Each traditional leader in the South West received between $250,000 to $300,000 from the President

4. Each rally costed at least $10 million: This includes, payment of about N500 - N3000 ($3 - $17) to mobilize "supporters", security, logistics, private jet transports etc. Multiply by at least 30 states will give over $300 million!!!

5. Media houses were bribed with millions, we were not privy to how much each received, but we can category say that AIT was given a check of $45 million to do their hatchet jobs.

6. Social media campaigns has gulped another $50 millions: This includes payment for short youtube videos, nairaland campaigns, twitter and facebook paid groups. Payment of people like Fani Kayode, Okupe, Omokri, Abati, bloggers like Linda Ikeji and others.

7. Another $8 million each was paid to each PDP governor for "mobilization" of their people and various stakeholders

8. Each minister received at least $1m - $2m for mobilization as well.

9. Several diasporan organizations have received a total of $3 million. These organizations are mainly based in the UK, United States and Canada.

10. Legal fees has gulped over $15 million

11. $10million was reserved for Foreign media "mobilization". Fani Kayode and others did their best to see how they could win Foreign media, unfortunately the only media that accepted Op-Ed or campaign related posts were the Washington Post and Washington Times. When it caused so much uproar, WP declined further publications. Also unfortunately for GEJ and his team. The US and UK govt are not in support of his Presidency, and major Foreign media like the New York Times and The Economist ALWAYS check with their governments before a major article is written about other foreign governments. Hence the duo supporting General Mohammadu Buhari.

In summary, after putting all the estimates we have, the GEJ government has literally squandared National wealth in the excess of $1billion to win a disgruntled public that only wants change!

We can do this - enough of incompetence, insensitivity, corruption and crass negligence of duty. We must change the status quo.

March 28 is the date. Let us come out and put our stamps on CHANGE!

CramJones

I can only believe or compare ur analysis.. Sorry "eye opener" when u drop APC's spending on ur suspected or suggested spending head! Convince me pls! Havnt decided for anyone yet!

Nowenuse:
Fulaman, how could there be statistical information on this?

Ask most people urself and they will tell u truly this is a fact, just wait for more comments and u'll see.

Are u not wondering how come u are the only one disproving this?

Igbo/yoruba christians intermarry far far more than Hausa/yoruba muslims.

Even amongst the northern n middlebelt christian minorities, we even intermarry with igbos n yorubas far more than yorubas with hausas.

Pls check b4 writing.. Christianity has been and still is d majority in "my middlebelt"

The OP or Journalist needs to confirm a news b4 going to the press. The so-called Baba is alive n doing gud. They need to get the devil himself to bring the old man down and I bet Nasarawa will b on fire after that. #Pray4Peace!!!

My Missy! Miss u! Glad u back 4gud! Drop some hit for us plsssss

ITbomb: Basic Computer / Office Suite knowledge
It is very frustrating when the IT guy is called from his hallowed cool chambers to help find a missing mouse pointer

just like a woman that calls IT dept to complain that she cant remember her facebook password and needed help to restore it.... Lol!

more pix

Paul the octopus was just announed dead, It died at age 2. May it souls rest in PEACE!!!!

Source:

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=836234&sec=global&cc=5901

1) Real Madrid: 401.4m euros
2) Barcelona: 365.9m euros
3) Man Utd: 327m euros
4) Bayern Munich: 289.5m euros
5) Arsenal: 263m euros
6) Chelsea: 242.3m
7) Liverpool: 217m euros
Juventus: 202.3m euros
9) Inter Milan 196.5m euros
10) AC Milan: 196.5.m euros
Source: Deloitte: 2008/09

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8541445.stm

Wanda bayayi karatu a gida, zaya fadi ranan gwadawa, ranan gwadawa, ranan gwadawa. (10X)

Wife was dreaming in the night and shouted "GET UP" my husband is back. The man jumped out through the window and got hurt in the process. He then suddenly realised he is the husband.

Now tell me, who is more Guilty? javascript:void(0); Grin

If dem need protesters mek dem kuku go carry all their xtravagant wives and children who are vandalizing our God's given resources in Yankee and all over the world. MayB dia Mallam requested for blood. YAN BANZA KAWAI!!!! Mek dem come carry me! I get Phd for protesting! I can even post my CV to them. Na shame dey worry dem. SHEGU KAWAI!!

daz da best way to be free from yama yama dizzies (HIV), knowin whom U r datin seems kool.

[size=8pt]Problems with Wife1.0
Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble.

However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.

Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware. I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse 2.0.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Whinge.

These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is. Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week.

Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2003, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2003, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.

Help requested please?[/size]

Calling Heaven,
Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following:

Thank you for calling heaven.

For English press 1
For Spanish press 2
For all other languages, press 3

Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for request

Press 2 for thanksgiving

Press 3 for complaints

Press 4 for all others

I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right
now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the
order it was received. Please stay on the line.


If you would like to speak to:
God, press 1

Jesus, press 2

Holy spirit, press 3

To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then enter his
social security # followed by the pound sign. If you receive a negative
response, please hang up and dial area code 666.



For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 3:16.

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets,
please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.

Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and call again tomorrow.

The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.

If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact
your local pastor.

Thank you and have a heavenly day.[/b][/color][/font][/font]

On Lagos-Ibadan express road when he met a team of policemen who, quite naturally, wanted 'something' from him. Since he was not prepared to play their games, they asked for his papers and having combed through everything without any offence with which to nail the 'stubborn' pastor, they now asked him to open the bonnet of his car. A careful scrutiny of the engine number against what was on paper revealed that letter U was written in such a way that it could be mistaken for letter V. That was all the officer-in-charge needed to shout "stolen vehicle! Sensing trouble, even when he knew he committed no offence, the pastor called the OC to say he was a priest to which the officer
replied :"Please, leave that pastor thing, in any case, if you are indeed a pastor, then you must have a Bible in your car, bring it." The Pastor did as was commanded after which the officer now ordered: "Please read Matthew 5:25, 26 to me". The incredulous Pastor opened to the recommended passage and read: "Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to a judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth; you will not get out until you have paid the last penny."

The man of God quietly made an "offering" of "just" one N100 to his newly found "preacher".
End of service! Go in peace and argue no more. said the OC

A girl named Lydia from the Middle Belt after her graduation from a college of Health went for an interview while her uncle is one of the interviewer and the following conversation ensued:

Intervieweer: Names
Lydia: Lydia Nyoms
Interviewer: State of Origin:
Lydia Kaduna.
Interviewer: Sex
Lydia became confuse on how she can answer such question while her uncle was there, she look at him and he said answer now Sex?
she now answer, occassionally!!!

i luv d jokes in here coz ama 9ja boy. while mine goes thus:

there is waz dis pastor wey dey thief church money everytime they're in prayer, he will make sure evry1 close his/ha eyes b4 he will start 2 pray. so one day afta d oferin he ordered evry1 2 close him eye mak dem pray, of course as usual evry1 did, he started prayin............d pastor then deep his hands in2 d oferin bowl pack some money and wen he wanted to put d money into his pocket he opened his eyes to look around he meet eye to eye with one elder who came late, d pastor waz very brave to say BLESSED ARE THOSE THAT SEE AND KEEP QUITE and d elder replied FOR THEY SHALL RECEIVE THEIR REWARD AFTER THE SERMON. as in they will share the money afta d church