₦airaland Forum

korel9: Am I supposed to read this all through?

No you are not. Wetin concern agboro wit overload

Tony stark aka Iron man(Avengers ) animation.
Dare devil, Genius, Billionaire extraordinaire
All-in-one.

The white dots on Rihanna s jeans have diffrrent designs in both pix.
Rihanna s left hand sleeve.
The blue shoe on the bottom right has higher heels in the 1st pix.

Scam

^Can you expantiate on that?

Ok. Thanks.

I love the idea of Cloud computing and want to pursue a career in it. I have done some inquiries but i m yet to get a school that offers it for individuals. NewHorizon told me they handle training for only corporate bodies. Any ideas anyone?

Thats hilarious but true.

I was going through the jumia site and all the male shoes were size 8 or below. I wear size 11. But when i click on size 11, i get "Product Not available". Is it that they dont normally sell or they are out of stock?
Anybody with experience with jumia to explain.

Grand reception? For what?

Q: What do you call the child of parents from Iceland and Cuba?
A: An ice cube.

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a postcard, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange postcard today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said. The wife handed the card over and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without."

A married couple, Harry and Esther, are out shopping one morning when Esther says, "Darling, it's my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She said she would like something electric." Harry replies, "How about a chair?"

What is the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Outlaws are wanted.

Salted what? Pls decrypt the whole thing na. Its a recipe for salted fish. NSA Top secret.

Little Billy came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home, Billy mentioned, "Dad, our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs like that?" His father, thinking quickly, said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven." "Gee Dad, that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad! Dad, we almost lost Mom today!" "What do you mean?" asked his father. "Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom, flat on her back with her legs in the air, screaming, 'Jesus, I'm coming! I'm coming!' If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down, we'd have lost her for sure!"

Feels good to be back.

Applied for a job@ a private engineering company and after telling me i made it, i waited a year and a half for my appointment letter. Jst heard some 'new' guys got the job four months ago.
Nigeria ....smh

A trucker drives his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep hill
and starts down the other side when he notices a man and
a woman making love in the center of the road. He blows
his horn several times, but they don't budge. He slams on
his brakes and stops just inches from them.
Getting out of the cab, madder than hell, the trucker walks
to the couple, still in the road, and yells, "What the hell's
the matter with you two? Didn't you hear me blowing the
horn? You could've been killed!"
The man on the highway looks up and says, "Look, I was
coming, she was coming, and you were coming. You were
the only one with brakes."

Click like if you want me to continue.

A man rushes out of his wife's hospital room. "Doctor,
doctor -- my wife's been in a coma for several months,
but when I just touched her left breast, she sighed!"
"That's very encouraging," says the doctor. "Go back and
touch her right breast. See if she reacts."
A few minutes later, the man rushes out again: "Doctor,
she moaned!"
"Very good," says the doctor. "Now try MouthAction. She
should certainly react to that!"
Five minutes later, the man comes out back out, white as a
sheet. "Doctor -- she died."
"No! What happened?" the doctor exclaims.
"Well, doc," the man says tearfully, "she choked."

Children in the backseat can cause accidents.
Accidents in the backseat can cause children.

One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving
when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named
Bubba, comes in to pee. The husband slyly looks over and
is shocked at how immensely endowed Bubba is. He can't
help himself, and asks Bubba what his secret is.
"Well," says Bubba, "every night before I climb into bed
with a girl, I whack my penis on the bedpost three times. It
works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The husband was excited at this easy suggestion and
decided to try it that very night. So before climbing into
bed with his wife, he took out his penis and whacked it
three times on the bedpost. His wife, half-asleep, said,
"Bubba? Is that you?"

One day a little girl came running into her house yelling,
"Mommy, I got five dollars!"
The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she
got the five dollars from.
The little girl replied, ''Tommy down the street gave me
five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree.
The mother told her daughter, "Don't you know that
Tommy is just trying to see your panties."
''OOOOhhhh'' said the little girl.
The next day the little girl came running into the house
yelling, "Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked,
"Where did you get the ten dollars from?"
The little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me ten
dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree
and laughed."
The mother replied, "Didn't I tell you that he is...''
Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, ''Wait
Mommy. I tricked him, I didn't wear any panties today.''

A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with
the guy in his car. The guy asks if she would like to go in
the backseat.
"No!" yells the blonde.
Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again.
"For the last time, no!" says the blonde. Frustrated, the guy
asks, "Well, why the hell not?"
The blonde says, "Because I wanna stay up here with
you!"

A man was in a bar all day and he had to use the
bathroom. He was in there for a while, yelling, so the
barmaid reluctantly went to the bathroom to check on him.
"Sir, what are you yelling about? You're scaring the
customers."
"Every time I try to flush the toilet something keeps biting
my balls!"
"Sir, please get off the mop bucket."

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a
bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy.
"Can I touch it?"
"No way -- you already broke yours off!"

Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very scared of
doing them in front of the class. The teacher, though, told
him that the best way to conquer his fears would be to just
go ahead and do it. So, trembling, he stood in front of the
class and began.
"ABCDEFGHIJLKMNOQRSTUVWXYZ."
"Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot the P. Where's the P?
"It's running down my leg."

Dont know about you guys but I think 'Akpors' is overrated.

It was Christmas Eve, and a lady hadn't had sex in a long
time, so she decided to wait for Santa. When he came
down the chimney, she took off her shirt and said, "Ooh
Santa, please stay."
And he said, "Ho ho ho, guess I better go, gotta get toys to
children, ya know."
So she took off her pants and said, "No no - please stay."
And he replied, "Ho ho ho, guess I better go, gotta get
toys to children, ya know."
So she took off everything else, and said, "Ooh, please
stay."
And he said, "Hey hey hey, guess I better stay, can't get up
the chimney with my d**k this way!"