₦airaland Forum

papa,
HAPPY NEW year papa, i jst saw ur piece and man , that was incredible, you are a God send to us here in Nairaland. anyway, long time, i thought u and sammie got jobs and forgot all about us. hw is work? may God continue to bless you for this kind of topics. i must tell you, you are a blessing to most of us. take care. i will give u a call. do u hear 4rm stellose?

@ayefele,
i wont use abusive or offensive to u but I would like you to behave like a normal human being b4 opening that rotten gutter of urs. my using oga here doesnt mean that he is older than me or any stupid stuff but its jst a sign of my sense of humour which i tink fools like u dont ve. if u ve been following this forum , u will observe that we are very polite in our posting to show some maturity as graduate. i dont even knw if u are one.
my advice, read ur messages b4 posting and try and grow up, kid

bros,
pls, when did write ur test and venue? most of us hv been expecting the chat for long nw to no avail. pls reply.

haba, Oga Seun, U knw am a respected member of this forum, i have always obeyed all the rules and posted quality info on this forum, am not angry, its jst that i wanted to get more info on the topic or is there anything i did wrong? i will be hapi to get feed back.
thanks gain for this great forum, u are doing a great job,
eddy.
08057631340
edward_onoshama@yahoo.com

Guys.
has oceanic started calling anyone for the apt test of sept in imo state. it is taking quite some time nw. the funny thing we were nt notified the peroid to start expecting the result. any info? pls post. it is well.

SEUN,
PLS, WHY DID U SLIT MY TOPIC' UNIVERSITY OR BUSINESS' IN A FORUM? I CANT ACCESS INFO ON IT AGAIN. PLS, TELL ME WHAT TO DO COS I NEED THE REPLIES TO COMPLETE MY ARTICLES IN THE DAILIES.
THANKS
EDDY
edward_onoshama@yahoo.com

thanks again

thats a good info but u didnt tell us hw u got the info and where the venue is.anyway, we are still hoping for IV to be sent to all, meanwhile anyone with comprehensive info shd post it. tanks again.

I ASKED YOU GUYS TO ASSIST IN THE SALARY RATIO SO I WILL KNW WHAT TO SAY WHEN I FACE THE PANEL BT U GUYS ARE GOING THE OTHER WAY. AM NT IN THE SAME SET AS YOU GUYS. MINE IS JUST INTERVIEW HERE IN LAGOS. GIMME A CALL OR POST IT HERE.
THANKS
08057631340
eddy_onoshama@yahoo.com

UNIVERSITY OR BUSINESS, WHICH IS BETTER?

Once upon a time, in a far away from the atlantic ocean, There live two brothers Paul and Peter who are twin. Paul was brighter of the two and hence excelling in the academics but Peter was more business-like and has eyes in genuine business and could easily add up sum with ease and therefore decided to go into business with the option of a part-time course in the long run. So Peter got admission into one of the federal University for a 4years course. After series of strikes, student unrest and politics, he finally graduated after 51/2 years, he waited another 6mths to proceed for the NYSC. He came back and has spent 31/2 years searching for his ideal Job. In all, he has spent 9yrs to get a suitable white-collar Job to no avail. for your information, he read a very good science –related course and came out with 2.2.

Paul on the other hand, was able to repay the initial capital in his legal business and has since been sailing with success ,expanding and recruiting more hands to cope. He is now in his 2nd level in a business course here in LASU. He got married the year his other twin graduated and has a baby girl while his twin is still searching for job, last night, Peter called his brother and said” O boy, I come dey regret why I go school. It will also interest you to know that Paul will soon complete his building project somewhere in Ikotun here in Lagos, he already has a small car, all through his LEGAL BUSINESS.

Although, I still disagree with Peter because I believe Education is the greatest asset anyone could achieve in life but imagine spending 9 years and still not getting your dream job. It is rather frustrating, abi? Meanwhile, Paul has made Peter one of his Managers at Idumota, still allowing him the option of looking for his ideal Job. Peter kept regretting why he went to school and that is the end of the Story.

Folks, do you agree with him? Common, let Debate on this because am going to publish the outcome in the dailies here in Nigeria. Do have fun. It is well with Nigeria……

Eddy
edward_onoshama@yahoo.com

Guys,
what is the salary of Bank PHB like? i will like to knw because i ve an interview with them next wk and would like to bargain within the range? any info could be appreciated. hw is their interview format like? thanx alot.

edward_onoshama@yahoo.com

Nice piece of work to kool the pressure of unemployment. tanks a lot.

















i

Dear,
My cousin wrote the same test and failed. pls dnt lose hope yet, she has been at home nw for 32 mths so urs is small , be +ve minded as she cos u ll succeed.

guys, am waiting oooo, sammie 77, forever 67, Id 09, guys, where una dey ?

GUYS,
Help me out, Bank PHB just invited me for an interview 2morrow and i would like to knw the ffg
1. how is their interview like? is it oral or written?
2. what are their likely killer questions( for those already working there)
3. hw many stages are their interviews? hw many panels?
4. what is best official clothes to go with? i mean inner , will white top with red tie go?
pls, help a broda out? i applied long ago and pass their test of 3 mths ago?

o boy, take heart, i wrote the test too on August and ve heard noting till date but i confirm that everything will done after thier AGM holding toward the end of sept. let kip our fingers cross

GUYS,
GATECRASHERS, DONT TRAVEL TO OCEANIC BANK. THEY ARE SETTING A TRAP FOR YOU. I HV CONFIRM THAT THEY WILL DO WHAT GTB DID AT ILLEPEJU. MOREVER, ARMY BMEN WILL BE ON GUARD( CENTRE IS MILITARY SCHOOL) . THEY WANT TO INTRODUCE THIS NEW FORMAT. MEANWHILE, QUICKLY FILL THE NEW ONLINE FORM, TEST WILL COME UP BY NEXT TWO WKS( I DONT KNW THE PRECISE DATE). DONT WASTE UR MONEY!!!

GUYS,
pls, oceanic bank is planning a surprise, dont travel down to owerri if u are nt invited. i learnt they will check iV and ID at the venue gate and crosscheck with their copies( like GTB did in lagos) . we shdnt waste our transport money going there. i believe it is a gradual sometin. pls, fill their new form online. our turn dey come!!

Guys,
it seems this mth is the mth of drought. there are fewer info and advice and chats, whats happenings

UNION BANK, WEMA BANK ( PART 2)
I really would like to thank all Nairalanders for their contributions and encouragment in my last article. And like I did promised, here is the concluding part of this great topic: meanwhile, it will beat your imagination to tell you that the HR of a bank( names withheld) told me by email that my CV has been trash(using my own word), I will still say my mind here notwinstanding.

1. AFRIBANK: Have u ever wondered why this great bank despite all the revenue they collect from Jamb( remember the monopoly then?) and other govt incentive, is still struggling. They don’t operate open recruitment process but you can get Jobs there without test if your uncle is strong Director or manager or belong to one particular tribe. Yes, check the record… my spy there gave me the ratio as 8:3:1, I wont say more than that but read ur 2007 GMAT pg 32, question 21 and get some clues ( don’t allow it to bother you). I am very sure they wont read this becos their online service is horrible as I wonder which is better in term of online service , Union or afribank….

2. UNITY BANK: about 2 yrs ago, my 5 yrs old cousin and I pass thru one of the branches here in lagos and he asked me if this is a bank or a textile company, I wasnt surprise cos he was used to television advert of all the bank except Unity bank. Pls, have you guys seen any of their marketing strategies? What do they do in that bank? I asked a staff of the bank ( who is about 58 yrs) how they recruit, he he asked me if my father is a minister. Here, I can tell you authoritatively that they do “try your Luck recruitment process” but the Good news is that Unity bank has a strong Job Security and is stress free ( tell ur mom to leave that new Generation Bank and go there for less stress).


3. GTB PLC: Hahahaha, Gatecrasher, this bank has gotten you twice. Those of you at illepeju last Saturday really had it rough. Still, the question is hw did they do the selection process prior the test since majority of the people NOT SHORTLISTED said they have filled their forms online and also submitted hard copies to the H/Q and they are below 26 and have good O level, GTB, wetin be the problem? I want Mr. Lanre Farotimi to clear the air. I respect that man a lot but I still believe someone under him at HR office is pulling some strings, Guys, what do u tink of that colic of a Guy at the venue that Saturday ? (the one that tinks he is Frank Edoha) I pitied my friend that didn’t write. The bad news is that GTB don’t want gatecrasher and has invented a crash virus ( checking names at the gate and hall) but we are appealing to them to please understand that it is not the Gatecrashers fault.abi?
4. UBA: This bank is trying sha. They have review their pay this mth and have been consitent in their aptitude test and the organization of the test is simply wonderful. They don’t stress u and those on merit scale thru and yes, no one can influence ur mark there ( they are living after their name” THE BIGGEST BANK IN AFRICA”). The problem here is that it may take 5 mths after a test b4 You are called 4 interview and anoda 4 mth or more b4 the 2nd interview ,adding the medicals and all, u may spend about 11 mth waiting 4 one job but it is worth waiting sha. I confirm that those that wrote test 3 mths ago have not yet been notified of interview . Please, if u don’t have credit in maths and Eng, dnt bother writing their test( they wont even allow you). ALL HAIL THE BIGGEST BANK IN AFRICA.

5. OCEANIC BANK: Yes, The irony-lady bank, everyone dream bank job, they hv similar pattern like Tony’s Bank above. My reliable reporters told me that they had halt all recruitments 4 some time now and may soon start recruiting. Also, it is Simply on merit and yes, you will have to wait for a long time before being called for interview ( in most cases though) . Wole and his group are really trying there at the HR but they should try and test this mth, we are appealing!! Common, LET BULID A STRONGER NIGERIA WITH OCEANIC BANK.

Finally I heard that BANK PHB want to write test like FBN( open to all, bt I dnt knw the exact date bt it will be anytime this mth) and Access bank too will also do theirs soonest ( 2.1 only)

Thanks and God Bless . All constructive comments and criticism should be posted here or to my Email: edward_onoshama@yahoo.com or call 08057631340. Keeping it real. E go better.

guys , pls send the iv to my box. edward_onoshama@yahoo.com

Guys,
Have you ever wonder what is happening with old but great banks like union, wema and sterling bank? I did some critical investigating journalism and came up with this report. I guess after this write-ups, I will never be employed by these companies( laugh).

1. Union bank after being left behind by his brother( Firstbank, who is waxing strong now) has been sleeping and carrying out recruitment in secret; the Directors could wake up one morning and put their son name in the list and next is interview( not even necessary) , have you ever wonder why despite the massive exodus of its staff, they are not recruiting like their contemporaries .( They wont even read this, their online service is terrible) though, being the least paying bank, they can adjust and it will NEVER shake their foundation but lo ! those old men in duffle coats will sit in their offices without even bringing up modern ideas on how to move this great bank to meet with the challenges o the 21st century. The irony is that they are still making petty profit and no wonder my grand mother still keeps her N100 with them . the question is HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OR SEEN UNION PLACING VACANCY ADVERT ON NEWPAPERS EVER SINCE YOU WERE BORN? It’s okay, I don’t want to hurt my father ( he is a shareholder of the bank)

2. Wema bank is a 2nd generation bank and has great mind and their retail banking is simply wonderful. Infact, the new logo and building patterns is really a marvel to most new Gen. Banks. But the fact is that they will collect Cv from their H/Office and yet, the selection process is done in a manner that reminds one of the military (NDA). My problem is that why is that only the Director and Mangers relations are called in ( I can get as much as 21 proof if required to backup) . people with great results in Banking/Finance?Adminstration are not even called in for aptitude test. I just wonder !!. the goodnews is that their adverts in the Motion Media is really excellent.


3. Sterling bank has been trying for the past 3 yrs but this year, their recruitment level is quite disheartening inspite of their constant expansion, I still believe that in the next couple of mths, after coming the market to shore up its capital base, something good will definitely come up ( am waiting to buy the shares) .Pls, Hail the SYMBOL OF VALUE.

4. UNILEVER is one company I respect a lot while growing up. I even did a contract job with them at Dockyard at apapa after my secondary school. When they move to agbara. Its like they just vanished. Their website is not always updated. Their career site is a great disappointment( for an international firm). I confirmed that everything goes on Billingways Ikeja, but your CVs are dropped in trashcans every evening, so don’t bother photocoping and typing. They only employ thru the other way…, but it is a great shame for the wonderful company. Most times, I really do miss GIWA. But they can still change, abi?

5. Now, these other ones, I will reserve my comments till when I conclude my investigation, Nigerian Stock Exchange, 7up, Oando PLC, Zenon, BAT( dnt mind those things on their website). Hopefully, by Wednesday next week, I will summary my investigation.

All comments, constructive criticism or contributions should b posted on this site or sent to my email : edward_onoshama@yahoo.com. I can also be reach on 08057631340. Am trying to keep it real. E go better for Naija.

Dear Nairalander,
I think it is high time we place an embargo on some fraudsters, firms, industries , consultants and clown in this great forum. Now lets get serious and discus this issue technically;
1. how can we pay money to view info on any vacancy advert e.g www.jobvacanciesnigeria.com ( posted by Delords) while great sites like nairaland, nigeragalleria , naijajobs,, etc, .are absolutely free and so factual.

2. most consultants place vacancies only for you to be asked to pay N500 or more , and tell you later they will get back to you. Infact, one consultant will offer you a nanny or housekeeper job, even a sales executive (selling newspapers, magazine,selling gala, yoghurt etc, ) knowing fully well that you will reject it and then asking you to hold on( maybe forever) that they will get in touch.


3. most banks( UBA, oceanic bank etc) will hold aptitude test and keep the results for long as 5 months or more ( especially UBA) and will not call you for interview, and when they do, you may probably stay 9 mths extra before you will called in for medicals( 2ND INTERVIEW as the case maybe) and at least, you will spend 15 mths before even getting to training school after you had suffer to pass the test. Thank God for First Bank !! ( at least). What about peopleprime? We all know what they are up to, don’t mind some of them writing in as nairalander congratulating themselves for a job well done, you don’t sound your own trumpet, abi ?

4. what about some Nairalanders who want to defraud their fellow unemployed broda, someone will ask you to drop your first Bank ID and many will rush in to feed in,Later, they will call you ( with the info on your data) and tell you they can inflate your score with a little tip: hw about those that will place outdated topic (info) just to fool us ( crazykid etc) ,(Thank God for Sammie 77) we really have to do something about this nairalanders. Imagine someone lied that FIRS was recruiting the other time, that we should pay N500 for transport to submit the CV to office, most Guys paid and waited, later I had to travel to FCT to meet an Uncle ( who is a Director there) and he was quite please to tell me , it was all a fairly tale.

Have you people ever wonder what happened to Celtel Headstart, LNG takein ( not the real one) ? this were false info that were posted for us to all dive in even when most of our colleague confirm the companies that they are not recruiting at that time. I intend raising a motion that whosever places a wrong info on nairaland, we would contact OLUSEUN OSEWA to publicly place the email and person on the blacklist to serve as an example to others.

Please am open to criticism , support and encouragement. E go better for us in Naija.

1. about the rlship btw microbilogist and banking, just tell them you are a very practical person who beleive with the right training( from the bank) you can excel with every knowledge tpical of a scientist.
2. about the sitting down before being told, i dont think it shows responsiblity and respect, wait till they ask to sit( no be ur house, u be guest)
3. be bold and intelligent to everything about the bank, directors, capitalizations, banks of mergers , vision and mission etc,
finally all thge best, hope to see u in the bank, i read agric. sci bt am with zenith.